A/n: chapter is skippable (+ major easter eggs)
But if can, please dont skip ;) there's a surprise innit.
"Lizard, my man. You chose the wrong place." A man, stroking his impressive moustache told Lizard.
"Dude! Ain't like, Flies' Haven a restaurant? C'mon Tuna, I'm sure you know something..." The man placed his hands on his hips.
"Its Tony, you dumbass. Yeh, Flies' Haven is... like a restaurant alright. But its barely reachin' one star. You're talking about someone who dined and dashed in a ten-star restaurant here." Tony pointed at the piece of paper Lizard presented him.
"Damn!" Lizard cursed. "Do you know any ten star restaurants?" Tony snorted.
"Do I look like I use hundred dollar bills to wipe my ass after every shit? No! I don't!"
"Well, uh, do you know anyone who wipes their ass with hundred dollar bills?" Lizard asked. Tony stroked his moustache again.
"Hmm, I ain't supposta tell you this. But there's a superstar in 'Motel' motel right now, doing some filming. Might wanna ask them, If you can get past their bodyguards." He snickered.
"You'll probably end up becoming minced meat— hey! Where the hell did he go!?" Tony looked around. There was no sign of the surfer boy anywhere.
Tony facepalmed. "He could have just searched it up in the internet..."
—
"Where is the famous dude?!" Lizard barges in from the front entrance.
An emaciated-looking person, with baggy (e/c) eyes and greasy (h/c) hair whipped their head towards him. They were holding a broom.
"T-boy!" They pointed at him.
"New dude!... or dudette!" Lizard replied. "Or... um... newbie!"
"Callin' me Newbie is fine. But Who the hell spilled the shit!? You can't just waltz in here screamin' 'famous dude!', yer gonna get yourself and us shanked in the ass!" 'Newbie' yelled at him.
"Damn newbie! No need to get all pissy! I just wanna ask where can I find some ten-star restaurants!" Newbie furrowed their eyebrows and crossed their arms.
"Huh! You think you're hot shit? Already earnin' millions from your gift shop?" Newbie gave an amused laugh.
"No, hombre. I'm searchin for this chick!" He showed Newbie the paper with (f/n)'s full name with it.
Newbie squinted at it. "I know a(n) (f/n). But their last name spells different. Why? Your girlfriend? Your long-lost daughter?"
Lizard shook his head. "Ew no, I was told to find her."
"Damn, how much did they pay you?" Newbie asked.
"My greatest grandma's music box!" Newbie raised their eyebrow.
"Okay, then why—"
"Who is this?" A suave, deep voice asked from behind the (h/c) haired person. Newbie suddenly became stiff.
"Y-yo, are you— whoa!" Newbie grabbed Lizard by the collar.
"Play along." Newbie said it through their gritted teeth. Lizard gulped and moved his focus towards the male behind.
He is gorgeous.
"Whoa! He's like that (y/n) chick's boyfriend!" Out of all the times Lizard could have said your name correctly, he said it now. Newbie's tired (e/c) eyes widened at him.
The long haired male tilted his head to the side, letting his lushious locks fall to the side. He crossed his arms and his face was a devoid of emotion.
"(Y/n)'s...Boyfriend?" There was a small growl in his voice.
Newbie shot him a nervous smile "'scuse us for a second, Mister Lanette, this guy is... mentally challenged." dragging Lizard out of the building.
"Dude! What the hell—" Newbie smacked his head.
Newbie then grabbed him by the collar. "I AM a(n) (y/n)! That bastard has some weird interest in me. Saying that shit you said is a death wish!" Newbie vigourously shook him.
"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! I can fix this!"
"You can't fix shit! You made us breach our freaking contract! Our legal contract!" Newbie screeched in Lizard's face.
Lizard used his large, calloused hand to push your head away. You lost balance and fell to the ground. He dashed towards the main entrance again.
"Sorry! Not that (y/n), I have this cousin named (y/n)! Her boyfriend looks like you except he has bigger titties!" Lizard blurted out. He could see relief flashed on Lanette's handsome face, but was soon replaced with great incredulity.
"Because he has breast implants!" Lizard continued.
"Shut yer trap!" Newbie bursts in, pointing at Lizard. They tackled him to the ground and immediately placed him in a tight headlock.
"A...And my cousin's last name is T-girl!" Lizard choked out. Lanette watches the scene unfolded quietly.
Two bodyguards stood in front of the celebrity.
"Need any help?" A bodyguard with a purple mohawk asked Newbie.
They shook their head and continued choking Lizard with their iron grip.
They glanced back at Lanette. "Err, sorry sir. My friend here is really, really, sick in the head. He's um, born with a defect that... only 60% of his brain is developed. Please forgive him, sir." Newbie bowed. Lanette's eyes soften at them.
"M-my cousin shits—" Lizard coughs because Newbie is starting to crush his windpipe with their headlock. His face is as red as a beet.
Lanette turned around and calmly returned to the basement to continue his shooting. Newbie sighed in relief and lets go of Lizard, he gasped for air.
Newbie grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out again.
"S-so! How's my acting? P-pretty convincing, right?" Lizard joked between wheezes.
"Yeah, Lizard." Newbie slapped him across the face.
"Ow! Dude! I've been punched there!" Lizard cradled his face.
"You're a huge idiot." Newbie patted him on the shoulder.
"Crap, how am I going to know where are the fancy restaurants?" Lizard frowned.
"Hey Lizard." Newbie furrowed their eyebrows.
"Yeah?"
"You got beaten up recently?"
"Yeah. Obviously, duh." He pointed at his injuries.
"How badly?" Lizard scratched his chin and pondered for a bit.
"Well, this chick knocked me out with one punch, plus, I lost a tooth that day. So I'd say, pretty badly."
"Did she hit your head?"
"Well, duh."
"Figures." Newbie massaged the bridge of their nose.
"What?" Lizard tenderly rubbed his face.
"In this time and age, you do realize that... there is such thing as the internet, right?" Lizard stared at them for a while.
"I don't follow." Newbie lost their cool and shook him by the shoulders again.
"That means you can search it up without going through all this shit! Oh my god, Lizard! You are the purest breed of a dumbass! How are you even alive today with your crappy brain or lack thereof!?" Lizard couldn't even speak due to your forceful shaking.
He felt like a cocktail mixer.
Newbie shoved him to the ground. "Get that head of yours checked! You just might have dementia!" They stormed off, leaving a dizzy Lizard on the ground.
"Oh yeah... why didn't I think of that?" He mumbled.