Dear Lottie,
You know when you are so angry you just want to kill someone?
Of course you don't.
Well, right now I want to kill someone, but then I remember that that is exactly what happened to you, except it was the world that murdered you, not me. I couldn't bear to cause someone the same amount of pain that losing you caused to me.
I once was asked which was harder - losing your family or losing your best friend?
I didn't reply.
But know that I've had time to think about it, I have decided that it's not losing the person that hurts the most. It's losing the love.
Of course that means I miss you and my family, Lottie, but I miss your love more than anything.
I miss the way you would bake me cookies and we would eat them while watching the sunset. I loved the sparkle in your eyes every time you looked at a child laughing. I loved how you petted every dog on the way to our destination, giving them a treat if you had one. I loved how you always volunteered at the soup kitchens and helped others before you looked out for yourself. I loved how selfless and caring you were towards me.
I'm sorry Lottie, but I wasn't able to stop thinking about what I mentioned in my last letter.
Were you just sorry for me?
I've been praying everyday, just like you always reminded me to do but I can't find an answer.
Is there a difference between love and selflessness?
Yours Sincerely,
Charles