[Screen title: SPACE]
[Camera pans around a brightly coloured planet with ice rings to the Benatar. The Guardians of the Galaxy are travelling to investigate a distress call to the tune of "Rubberband Man".]
''Rubberband Man!?'' Peter exclaimed.
Peter Quill: [chair-dancing to the song] Sing it, Drax!
''Soo… you from earth?'' Clint asked Quill.
''No. I am from Missouri.'' Quill answered.
''Yeah!? For Your Knowledge, Its on Earth. Idiot.'' Tony sighs.
[Drax is snoring with his mouth open from his seat in front of Quill. Gamora lip-synchs with the song along with Quill.]
Rocket: [yawns] Why are we doing this again?
Gamora: [annoyed] It's a distress signal, Rocket. Someone could be dying.
Rocket: I get that, but why are we doing it?
''You sure you are good guys!?'' Natasha asks Rocket to which he simply shrugs.
Peter Quill: 'Cause we're nice. And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese for our help.
''Ahh.. Really!?'' Was common expression of the Avengers.
Gamora: [waves her index finger at Quill] Which isn't the point.
''At least someone has priorities straight.'' Fury said.
Peter Quill: [points back at Gamora] Which isn't the point... I mean… If he doesn't pony up…
Drax: We'll take his ship.
''Oh Come on!'' Hill stats.
Rocket: Exactly!
Peter Quill: B-b-b-bingo!
[Gamora looks up at Quill in concern. Quill returns her look and grimaces a "don't worry about it" expression at her]
"You got to be Kidding me!" T'challa expressed with arms in air.
Mantis: [reading her console] We are arriving.
Peter Quill: All right, Guardians. Don't forget, this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces.
Cue for laughter. Well for most excluding Fury, Carol, Strange and Loki. Because they realised where guardians have arrived.
[Groot rolls his eyes as Mantis makes a snarl. Groot's handheld Terran-vintage video game beeps.]
Peter Quill: Groot, put that thing away. Now. I don't wanna tell you again. [Game continues beeping] Groot.
Groot: [in a mocking tone] I am Groot!
Peter Quill: Whoa!
Rocket: Language!
Gamora: Hey!
Drax: Wow.
"What did he say?" Scott asked. Avengers were confused.
"You don't want to know." Loki said.
Many eyebrows raised at guesses went through their minds.
Peter Quill: You got some acorns on you, kid.
Rocket: Ever since you got a little sap, you're a total d-hole. Keep it up, and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!
[Groot rolls his eyes.]
[The Benatar decelerates, and Thanos's devastation suddenly covers the Guardians' field of view, revealing the distress signal to be the one from the Asgardian vessel at the beginning of the movie. Bodies are seen floating dead in space along with the pieces of the shredded ship.]
"Oh God." Steve said.
Mantis: What happened?
Rocket: Looks like we're not getting paid.
"Seriously!?" Banner shouted.
"Hey! I am just trying to lighten the mood. Ok." Rocket tried to explain.
[With a thump, Thor's body is plastered to the hull of the ship.]
Rocket: (Waving his hands) Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!
[Thor’s eye opens; all gasp]
"You're alive!" Almost every avenger exclaimed. Others smiled.
[Cut to the Guardians settling the still-unconscious Thor onto an examination table]
Peter Quill: How the hell is this dude still alive?
"He's not a dude. You are a dude. He's a Man." Drax said casually.
Drax: [Sounding awed.] He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... This is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
Everyone blinked at the repeated sentence.
Peter Quill: [A little dented.] I'm muscular.
"No you aren't." Tony burst his bubble.
Rocket: Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat.
"They have sandwiches in space!?" Peter asked.
"No. He taught us about it." Gamora explained.
Peter Quill: Yeah, right.
Drax: It's true. You have gained a little weight… [Drax motions to his chin and belly]
Laughter and sniggers. One raised eyebrow from the ex-Director.
[Gamora leaves Quill's side at Thor's right, and circles around the foot of the table]
Peter Quill: What? Gamora, do you think I'm…
"Her silence is answer enough." Wanda said.
Mantis: He is anxious. Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt.
"Guilt?" Sam asked.
"He thinks he could have done more to prevent it." Strange shrugs.
Drax: It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel.
Peter Quill: Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay. I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells.
Rocket: You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?
More sniggers.
Gamora: [reaches Drax's side and picks up Thor's left arm, stroking his triceps] It's like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers.
"Cotati what?" Shuri asked.
"It's one of the strongest material to build things with in entire galaxy." Rocket answered.
Peter Quill: [snidely to Gamora] Stop massaging his muscles.[Gamora, annoyed, drops the arm with a thump; quietly to Mantis] Wake him up.
"Jealous much?" Bucky asked rhotetically.
Mantis: [Places hand on Thor's forehead.] Wake.
"Cool power." Vision complemented.
[Thor awakens, sitting up violently and throwing himself off the table to stumble a few steps away, then turning to see his hosts all pointing their weapons of choice at him; Groot is still playing his game.]
Thor: Who the hell are you guys?
[Cut to later as the Guardians stand around Thor eating soup.]
Gamora: The entire time I knew Thanos, he only ever had one goal: To bring balance to the Universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet, massacre by massacre...
Drax: Including my own.
Gamora: If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he can do it with the snap of his fingers, like this. [she snaps her fingers]
"You know many things about Thanos. How?" Thor asked.
"I am Groot. (That can tell you about it.)" Groot said pointing at the movie. "I am groot. (Now, SHhhhh)"
Thor: You seem to know a great deal about Thanos.
Drax: Gamora... is the daughter of Thanos.
"What!?" Said everyone who didn't know it. 'cause it caught them unexpectedly.
Thor: Your father killed my brother. [Thor stands and strides towards Gamora aggressively.]
"Calm down Point break. I know you're angry but you can do something in anger that you regret later." Tony pleaded. Everyone from earth understood from where he got that advice.
Peter Quill: Oh, boy. Stepfather. Technically, she hates him as much as you do. [Thor softens a bit.]
"Thank God." Clint released his breath.
Thor: Families can be tough. [he claps a hand on Gamora's shoulder] Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister...that he imprisoned in Hel. Then she returned home, and stabbed me in the eye, so... I had to kill her. It's life, isn't it, I guess. Goes round and round and... I feel your pain.
"Your family is complicated dude." Rhody said.
[Peter glares at Thor's hand on Gamora's shoulder, on the verge of full snarl, and moves around her to push between her and Thor]
Peter Quill: And I feel your pain, as well. I mean it's not a competition, but I've been through a lot. My father killed my mother, then I had to kill my father. And that was hard. Probably even harder than having to kill a sister. Plus, I, came out of it with both of my eyes-"
"Did you- did you just Compared your family Tragedy!?" Tony asked bewildered "You are sick man"
Some shifted away from Quill.
Thor: [not paying attention as he stares at his soup spoon] I need a hammer, not a spoon… (he attempts to fiddle with machinery) How do I open this thing? Is there some sort of a four-digit code maybe… Maybe a birth date or something…
Peter Quill: What are you doing?
Thor: Taking your pod.
Peter Quill: [deepens his voice] No, you're not! [mimics Thor’s accent] You'll not, be taking our pod today, sir.
"Ok now you are Irritating. Just stop with that pity Jealousy." Loki said.
Rocket: Quill. Are you making your voice deeper?
Peter Quill: No.
Drax: You are. You're imitating the god-man. It's weird.
Peter Quill: No I'm not.
"He did it again." Mantis gasped.
Mantis: (gasp) He just did it again!
Another moment for everyone to blink and be bewildered at the coincidence.
Peter Quill: This is my voice!
Thor: [steps closer to Quill.] Are you mocking me?
Peter Quill: Are you mocking me?
Thor: Stop it. You did it again.
Peter Quill: He's trying to copy me.
Thor: Would you stop doing that? He's doing it first.
"Stop. What are you. 5 or toddlers?" Loki said looking at both Thor and Quill.
Other Laughed as both shifted uneasily.
Gamora: Enough! We need to stop Thanos. Which means we need to find out where he's going next.
Thor: Knowhere.
Mantis: He must be going somewhere.
Peter Quill: No. Knowhere? It's a place. We've been there. It sucks. Excuse me, that's our food. [To Thor as he rummages through their food stores]
Thor: Not anymore.
Gamora: Thor… Why would he go to Knowhere?
"Atleast someone is making the right questions." Fury said eyeing other Guardians.
Thor: Because for years, the Reality Stone has been safely stored, there with a man we call the Collector.
"Collector!?" Quill said shocked.
Peter Quill: If it's with the Collector, then it's not safe. Only an idiot would give that man a stone.
Thor: Or a genius.
"Hmm.. Reverse psychology. Very good" approved Natasha. Thor returned with a nod and tiny smile.
Gamora: [to Thor] How do you know he's not going for one of the other Stones?
Thor: There's six stones out there. [finishes rummaging and steps in front of Gamora] Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week, when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth. They're with the Avengers.
Peter Quill: The Avengers?
Thor: [by way of explanation.] They're Earth's Mightiest Heroes.
Mantis: Like Kevin Bacon?
Thor: [pause] He may be on the team. I don't know. Haven't been there in a while.
"We have to tell you alot about the earth Point break." Tony commented.
Thor: As for the Soul Stone, well, no one's ever seen that. No one even knows where it is. Therefore, Thanos can't get it. Therefore, he's going to Knowhere. Hence, he'll be getting the Reality Stone. You're welcome.
Gamora: Then we have to go to Knowhere now.
Thor: Wrong! Where we have to go, is Nivadellir.
Drax: That's a made up word.
Thor: All words are made up.
"Dude. You Rock." Clint chuckled.
Rocket: Hold up, Nidavellir is real? [climbing on to the table] Seriously? I mean, that place is a legend. [increasingly gleeful] They make the most powerful, horrific weapons to ever torment the Universe. I would very much like to go there, please.
Thor: The rabbit is correct, and clearly the smartest among you.
Rocket: Rabbit?
Thor: Only Eitri the dwarf king can make me the weapon I need. [to Rocket] I assume you're the captain, sir?
Rocket: You're very perceptive.
Thor: You seem like a noble leader. Will you join me on my quest to Nidavellir?
Rocket: Lemme just ask the captain. Oh, wait a second, it's me! Yeah, I'll go.
Thor: Wonderful.
Peter Quill: Except for that I'm the captain.
Thor: Quiet!
Peter Quill: That's my backpack.
Rocket: Go sit down.
Laughter.
Peter Quill: [to Thor] Look, this is my ship. And I'm not goin' to… [gropes for "Nidavellir"] Wait, what kind of weapon are we talking about here?
Thor: The Thanos killing kind.
Peter Quill: Don't you think that we should all have a weapon like that?
Thor: No. You simply lack the strength to wield them. Your bodies will crumble as your minds collapse into the madness.
Rocket: Is it weird that I wanna do it even more now?
"Yeah a bit." Sam answered.
Thor: A little bit. Yeah.
Gamora: If we don't go to Knowhere and Thanos retrieves another stone, he'll be too powerful to stop.
Thor: He already is.
Mood deflates.
Rocket: I got it figured out. We got two ships, and a large assortment of morons. So me and Groot will go with the pirate-angel here, and the morons will go to Knowhere to try and stop Thanos. Cool? Cool.
Thor: So cool. [Smiles a big grin.]
Peter Quill: [to Rocket] For the record… I know that you're only going with him because it's where Thanos isn't.
Rocket: You know, Quill, you shouldn't talk that way to your captain, Quill. [As he enters the pod] Come on, Groot. Put that game down, you'll rot your brain.
"They'll never stop." T'challa sighs. Shuri sniggers.
Thor: I bid you farewell and good luck, morons. Bye.
[The Guardians nod or wave farewell as Thor, Rocket and Groot depart]
"So this were the Guardians. I definitely do not have extra braincells to burn in talking to them." Tony commented.
"Hey!" Comes from Quill and Rocket.
**Infinity**
2197 words.
Jolly Green Out.