Kissing all over my son trying to wake him up but his little sleepy ass wouldn't budge. "Tron, come on now."
Holding him in my arms, I took my time to eye the room. Seeing he had a little playpen sleeper set up in the corner. A queen size bed was in the center of the room. High ceilings throughout with creme colored curtains creating a warm dark space for him.
The place was nice. I wouldn't want it for my family, but I can see why Cyrene's ok staying here.
Her saying she want to go back home for about a month kept replaying in my head over and over since she said it. That's been my biggest fear through all of this. She not wanting to be here in Atlanta.
To blow off steam after leaving Tron's carpet reading, I went to my original gym to hit the bag. After, I went to my therapy session.
I've been going consistently for the last three months. Dude's still a little weird, but he grew on me.
The little homework assignments piled up quickly, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something good for myself.
Not gone lie, Cyrene had me pissed off to the max. I had never been more livid in my life. I get she's mad at me, but damn don't have me feeling like I'm losing my son. Ever.
"Time to get up big man." I held Tron out in front of me. He stretched, creating an arch, finally opening his eyes.
Kissing on his nose and cheeks, he finally woke up completely. I laughed at his puzzled stare, wiping his eyes. "You good man?"
Pulling Tronny man to me, holding him close, I spoke softly, "everybody's here to see you."
He stared at me for a second before laying his head on my chest.
Getting chubby man cleaned and changed, we made our way out to where everyone was. "Gotta' get you potty trained next."
As we made it over to the fluffy carpet in front of the sectional, I placed him on the floor with his big cousins.
"Neither one of y'all spoke to me when I came in what's with that?" I asked Lauren and Joi as they hugged and kissed all over Tron. "Natti, you too." I referred to Chance and Rita's daughter Natalie.
"Hey Uncle." All three said together.
"Mm-hmm. I guess." I mumbled, making my way to the kitchen with the adults. "What y'all in here talking about?" My eyes found their way to Cyrene's breast peeking out of her top, hunched over getting something from one of the lower cabinets.
"Leah and Rita were talking about instead of a she-shed they want one of these condos." Mike shook his head. "I asked her, if she wanted to be single because that's what gone happen."
"Babe, this would be my little get-a-way spot. Me, Rita, Rai, Toni, and Cy can share it."Leah went on, but Mike continued shaking his head. "I don't say anything about the basement. Y'all be in there all hours of the night. I want to have my little space to go to as well."
"Ok, well we can get you and the girls a little treehouse and KJ and I will keep our basement." Mike shrugged, "simple."
Leah dead faced him. "I'll check the Real Estate app to see what's available in this building." She pulled out her phone. Standing behind her, Mike reached and snatched it from her. "Quit playing, give it back."
He raised it above his head as she tried to reach for it. "What's your take on it, Chance?"
Rita raised her brows, signaling for him to tread lightly. He leaned in and kissed her.
"Nevermind, don't answer that." We all laughed, knowing if Rita asked Chance for the world, he would give it to her.
"See, I'm the only one getting backlash. You're ruining it." Leah pouted.
"A3 won't agree to it either." Mike laughed further. "Not gone, happen."
"Rai's in New York, she won't be down here as much. So their vote won't count. I know Mina would be good with it. She wouldn't mind Toni having a condo." She tried to plead her case further. I shook my head laughing, listening at those two while eyeing a quiet Cyrene.
"Her vote won't count either. They're actually in the process of looking for a condo." Mike continued holding her phone up.
"That's for them to live in. I'm talking about some me- time space, away from y'all." Leah jumped higher. "I'm getting one."
"No, you're not so stop talking about it." He stated sternly as he finally placed the phone on the counter.
"Why you mad?" She tried getting in his face, but he brushed her off. "Huh, why are you getting upset?"
He scoffed. "I'm not."
"Whatever."
"A woman only want a condo for two things, to have sex or to ease her way out of the marriage." Mike crossed his arms. "Which one is it?"
"Oh, really?" I chimed in because I automatically thought about my situation with Cy and this condo.
Cyrene, the quiet mouse, finally took it upon herself to laugh then mumbled. "You might be on to something Mike."
I pretended not to hear it, smiling at her. "What's funny? I want to laugh too."
"Nothing important." She made her way over to Tron.
"Didn't think so," I stated, causing her to stop, but then she continued. I grabbed a seat in one of the chairs near the smash cake on the island.
"Cake time." She announced while gathering up the kids.
I grabbed the cake and placed it on the floor in the designated area she had for him to smash into it.
The decor was actually pretty good, considering this was only his eight months old celebration. Simple blue and white balloons with fluffy blue ornaments all around.
I can't wait for his first birthday.
"Aight man, you ready?" I watched Tron almost jump out of Cyrene's arms trying to get to the big cupcake shaped cake.
"Ok, everybody start counting." Cy released his hands, and we went on to count to eight as he struggled walking over to the cake.
He strutted in his onesie with a baby blue bow tie and suspenders attached and dark blue shorts. We all shouted together, "Happy eight months Tron!" He wasted no time digging in.
"Is that the only cake," Mikes daughter Lauren asked as we all snapped pictures.
"I want cake too." Joi co-signing with her twin, gaining a nod from Natalie as well.
"Aww, look at him. He's growing up so fast." Leah cooed, standing next to Cy holding up their phones.
"I know, next thing you know he won't be my little baby anymore." Cy wiped at her eyes.
"Hello?" Lauren sang then crossed her arms, seeing she wasn't getting anybody's attention. She then peered at me. "Uncle?"
"Yes, fave?"
"I want cake." She whined.
I laughed while still holding up my phone then pointed down to where Tron was. "You better hurry up and get down there then."
"He get to have the whole thing? That's not fair. I don't want it now." She pouted. "It's all over him."
"Tronny Man, give your cousins some of that cake." I hit the record button laughing at his little goofy self cheesing back at me.
"Damn. He went ham." I laughed, bringing Lauren closer to me, side hugging her, "your auntie has another cake over there just like this one on the counter for y'all."
She smiled, finally, content.
"Greedy self." I laughed jokingly, "Mike don't be starving my kids."
"You better come get their little bad asses then. I'll have all their bags packed. KJ too." He laughed, winking at Leah, "then we can get that condo."
She rolled her eyes at him, still salty from his refusal.
"Hold up now Tron, damn." We all rushed over to him as he dived headfirst to eat cake from the floor.
"Ok, that's enough for you, buddy." I scooped him up, kissing all over him, not caring about getting the cake on me. "I love you."
Noticing in my peripheral, Cyrene snapped a quick photo. Then slipped her phone in her pocket and headed towards the kitchen. "Thank you all for coming and celebrating with us. There's more cake and some food whipped up over there. I made a dip, some chicken wings, and roasted some veggies."
Stripping Tron out of his fit, leaving him in his pull up I handed him off to Mike so I could clean the mess from the floor. Chance rolled up his sleeves to help me.
"Tensions still pretty thick with you two." He spoke low after we gathered all the cleaning supplies needed. Everyone else was in the kitchen eating.
"Yeah, I have to figure out a way to talk to her without the arguing."
"I'm rooting for you." He went on to wipe the cake off the floor. I went behind him with the spray.
"Thanks man."
"What's your game plan?" Chance went on to ask.
"I gotta meet her where she's at with this." I stated, which was coming from a conversation I had with my counselor.
I had to put myself in Cyrene's shoes.
Chance lifted his brows as if he had an idea of what I was speaking of.
"Yep, I know what I have to do." I finally nodded.
****
"I'll catch up with you tomorrow." I closed the door behind Mike. He was the last one to leave out.
It was getting late in the evening, but I wanted to talk to Cy before I left.
After having time to think about it and talking things through with the therapist, I know things could've gone differently. I didn't even try to compromise with her. I know she's missing her family. I knew she was feeling lost and stressed about the bullshit I caused.
Finding Cyrene finishing up Tron's bath, I took a seat by her little pallet in the other room to wait for her.
I knew she was wondering why I'm still here and probably was ready for me to leave, but I gotta' get on track with her. Especially with our son.
Holding Tron, she came and sat beside me. I reached for him, and she obliged. "Cy, we need to talk, babygirl."
"Yeah." She leaned back further against the window, waiting.
"This little place here is cute. I can see why you like it." I turned towards her as I positioned Tronny man on my lap.
She didn't say anything.
"Why you changed your shirt?" I licked my lips out of habit. She changed out of her low cut baby blue for a big red t-shirt.
"Every time I went to bend over I—" she squinted at me, and I couldn't hide my smile.
"You look good, mama." I laughed a little. "With your lil' B-cups, with no bra on. Nipple rings visible."
She playfully rolled her eyes. "Anyways."
Getting serious, I grabbed her attention. "Go visit your people. I ain't trying to hold you back from that."
"I'm taking Tron with me. I know that was your concern."
Rubbing my cheek on Tron's forehead, he reached and pulled at my beard. I nodded, " yeah. I'll figure it out on my end. Between FaceTime and maybe a visit, I'll make it work."
She was shocked.
"I know, I know. I gave you shit about this earlier. When I heard you say at least a month, I freaked out. Then I saw a pattern, and it felt like you were pushing me away."
"From me, yes. From your son, no." Her eyes met mine. "I would never intentionally keep him away from you. You are always welcome to see him."
"It felt like it, so I panicked and lashed out."
She shook her head, no. Silence fell in the room. I noticed her wall slowly going back up. Defensive Cyrene was making her way in.
The only voice heard was Tron repeating da da. I brought my attention back to him, giving her space.
Feeling the energy shift further by way of the tension on her face, I took it upon myself to put Tronny man to bed.
Leaving Cyrene in her bedroom to put my son in his, I wanted to give her some time to breathe. She was distant, her body language told me to exit stage left.
Reading the Brown Bear book to Tron, he got excited. He loved hearing it sung while staring at the pictures.
After getting through the book three times, he finally closed his eyes.
"It's getting late. I should go." I made it back over to her room, noticing she was under the blanket.
Not getting a response, I turned to walk away, but then heard a light sniffle.
"Stay, please." She sniffled again with her back turned facing the window.
Unbuckling my pants and tossing them to side along with my chain, shoes, and shirt, all done with no hesitation.
Cyrene unwrapped herself from the blankets making room for me. I crawled in behind her, holding on to her until she was ready to say something.
"Every day, I think about it. I think why did I agree to that. Why would I let another woman go that far with my man? Then it was something my sister said that's been bugging me. —She said Ana used me to get to you." She sighed. "—You fell weak for her, Troy. What does she have that would make you cheat on me?" She finally turned to face me.
She gazed in my eyes as tears rolled down her face. "I'm not enough for you?"
I helped her wipe her face before answering. "These past three months, I've been learning how to properly love myself in a way it shines in the way I treat other people."
She furrowed her brows, giving me her full attention.
"I asked myself questions too. Why did I cheat on such an amazing woman? The woman I had already made plans to spend the rest of my life with. The woman that gave me the best two gifts in the world, herself and my son. How did I fuck that up? This woman moved away from her family to be with me. This woman didn't care how much I brought to the table, especially since you come from a wealthy family."
I wiped at the lone tear that slid down her right cheek. "A beautiful woman. A smart woman. A sassy bossy woman. One I could grow old with and sit back and crack jokes."
She smiled a little.
"There's no excuse I can give that would ever make you feel confident in me." I sighed. "But I will say this. Ana doesn't have shit on you. I don't have feelings for her. It was never about her. I think a part of me was holding on to being single and wild."
"You and I always rattled the fence a little bit. We were casual at first, then we got serious, but we still had things going on. —The sex parties, the different kinky events."
She interjected. "We can be into whatever that doesn't mean you can cheat on me."
"You're right. I took you for granted. I took everything we built together for granted as well. But honestly, being away from you for these last months opened my eyes."
She rolled her eyes. "So, you finally see the light."
"I'm just trying to be a better person after all the pain I caused you. I don't want to break your heart ever again, and I want my son to be proud of me."
She didn't say anything. Just kept the same look showing a lack of amusement.
"Ima' fight for my family. I love you and I miss yo' ass man. If that means being ok with you going back home for a little while, then so be it. I want you to be happy. —Also, I don't ever want you to feel like you don't have options. I want you to want me because you want me, not because you think you're obligated to stay here in Atlanta." I held my hand still on the side of her face.
"So you're saying if I wanted to move back home, you wouldn't try to go against it?" She raised her brows.
"It'll break me, but I can't have you feeling trapped to stay here. I'll deal with it." I sighed, wrapping my arms around her. "Do you want to move back to Nairobi?"
I held my breath.
"I do." She spoke honestly, studying my struggling poker face.
I was hoping she didn't.
Nodding my head I said, "ok."
"What about chubby man?" She asked, wanting to hear me say the words to be clear.
"I guess I'll have to be a distant father until I'm able figure something else out." I loosened my hold on her waist. "It's tough."
She continued studying my face.
"What?"
Cyrene shook her head. "I honestly didn't think you would ever be ok with this. You always said, 'you're not taking my son away from me.' "
Pulling her closer into my chest, "I love y'all, man. As a man, I gotta' make sure you're happy. I know this will help."
"Thank you. This means a lot." She kissed my cheek, then held on to me for the first time since I confessed to her.
I don't know if this is the right decision or the best one, but this is what she want. I just hope my son doesn't resent me, or this distance won't damage us completely.
"Get some sleep." I kissed her forehead. She then tucked her head in the crook of my neck.
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