Thursday morning at the Big Hit Office found Kim Namjoon, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Shingyu, Kim Sejin, Bang Si Hyuk and 3 lawyers at the same conference table. The meeting was arranged shortly before Sejin received RM's phone call as BTS arrived back at the dorm on Sunday evening from their cabin trip. When the main manager contacted Bang PD, his eyes were still watery and his heart was still giddy.
"They want to sign... Namjoon just called." He said as his voice betrayed all the emotions he tried to hide.
"...I know. He called me as well." Bang PD spoke slowly on the other end. "Tomorrow morning, come straight to my office, we need to prepare for a meeting to discuss terms and conditions..." He said but Sejin knew him long enough to know that he was happy.
"Thank you for giving me the chance to be with them further." Sejin broke down. "I won't leave them. Count on me."
The conversation led to the scheduling of various meetings with the boys, their individual managers and a bunch of lawyers. Thursday was the day Jungkook and Tae needed to be present together. Everybody suspected why they were going into it together. Namjoon had also been invited as the leader of BTS but no agenda was made available, not even for internal use.
The subject was treated with professionalism and an ounce of delicacy since nobody really wanted to question the boys' feelings. Of course, things got heated here and there but it was only normal when trying to agree to certain terms, everybody throwing in their opinions. What annoyed Jungkook the most were two questions asked by one of the lawyers: "Don't you want to also date girls? What if you'll regret it? You are so young." Jungkook actually rolled his eyes and scoffed out loud.
The lawyer sensed that he pushed the discussion in a terrible point so he tried to soften the blow. "An idol's life is stressful. We understand. It was only natural that you got so close, with the dating ban and all..." he tried to explain but only managed to make matters worse as both boys sighed in frustration. Those words were exactly what they didn't want to hear. "I mean.... Umm... you are both very good looking men, all gussied up at times, feminine traits accentuated. It makes sense...that you... you know... hormones and..." He continued and Jungkook squeezed Tae's hand under the table because he felt like he was going to get up and punch the guy, consequences be damned.
Tae leaned in, lowering his torso over the table and using his hand to move a strand of hair out of his eyes. The fleshly dyed black hair glistered under his fingers. He let his hand fall on the table, caressing it lightly as he spoke in a low voice as if invoking some dark divinity. He was spell-binding.
"Do you think I look attractive, sir? Am I beautiful?" he asked with a grin and his tongue appeared through his parted lips to slowly caress them.
The lawyer thought the situation was saved because Tae was smiling. "Yes, you do... you are." He said merrily and without noticing the big alarm sign in front of him.
"And does that mean you want to have sex with me?" Tae asked sharply, his eyes cutting deep as the room began protesting at his remark. Even Jungkook held his breath for a second as his thumb began circling soft patterns on Tae's hand underneath the table, trying to make him loosen up again.
"Taehyung..." Namjoon whispered. "Sorry, sir... but just to imply something like that is hugely offensive." He said as he straightened his back. He noticed how the boys were holding hands too tightly under the table and that Jungkook has restlessly bouncing his foot in annoyance. Neither were good signs.
Tae rolled his eyes and looked at PD Bang. "I'm sorry but if this was a thing we did to pass the time at night, blow off steam or because we think the other one looks hot, then really... we could have done it behind a closed door. If this is going to be the discussion then this meeting is pointless." He said respectfully but he reverted to the cold, unapproachable Taehyung which could ignore the world collapsing around him with maximum disinterest.
"I agree that the questions were offensive but I am glad he brought it up." PD Bang said. "I would kindly ask everybody to refrain themselves from such comments so we could proceed." He took in a long breath. "In conclusion, you'd be allowed to reveal your relationship if you see fit. However, until said reveal, this company reserves its rights to keep your image as it has been constructed over the past years." Bang PD looked straight at Tae and Jk as he began collecting the papers which had been spread out all over the table.
A couple of minutes later, the director's phone vibrated and he politely asked everybody to have a short break so that he could speak only with the boys.
"Namjoon, you can stay..." he added when the leader also rose from his chair. RM looked at JK and Tae to see if they were okay with the idea of him attending what seemed to be a pretty private continuation of the meeting. They were family, nonetheless, so the boys smiled at him but they were uncomfortable. Tae crossed a line and all of them knew it.
"Boys, I know you feel like things in Korea are changing, especially with Holland's coming out. It's obvious that he opened some doors and is softening opinions regarding same sex couples. That is beneficial for us, for you... Big Hit will stand besides you no matter your decision, but let me explain why I do not recommend it. And please, hear me out." He took in a deep breath and switched his chair with the one closer to them, previously occupied by one of the managers. He moved naturally, ignoring the fact that Namjoon closed his eyes in a small prayer that the younger boys don't pounce on the manager for the comment.
"I love you." He said plainly. "You are like my kids and no matter what, I want my kids to be happy but it's also my job to advise my kids and take care of them, make sure nobody hurts them." He said with a smile and turned his entire body to the three. "Once you come out, you'll be asked so many questions about your relationship by people you don't even know and they will press you for answers. What happened a couple of minutes ago was but a taste. There will be entire articles talking about how the idol lifestyle turned you gay for each other. Some interviewers will even focus more on that than your work and your talent. They'll exploit you, just as they're exploiting Holland. But he and his company used his sexual orientation for publicity so he has to take it. Are you up for that?" He asked calmly, making sure that his words were clear and simple. Taehyung and Jungkook were beautiful together but their beauty and feelings couldn't eclipse the ugliness of the world.
"Can we have a clause in the contracts we sign for interviews that this should not be mentioned?" RM's brain was working fast. It wasn't uncommon in the industry to make some private questions unavailable to interviewers by contract.
Bang PD smiled. "Of course we would add that to each contract but let me ask you, do you think the interviewers will not break those rules just to film your reactions and put you in the spotlight?"
All the boys gulped and sighed heavily with their eyes lowered. Their teacher was right. They kept getting off limits questions all the time, in complete disregard of contracts.
"Plus, that doesn't really work in America. They believe freedom of speech means that they can ask whatever they want. They don't even do their research because if they even bothered to look at the way our industry works then you know very well that they shouldn't ask dating questions." Bang PD continued as he watched RM lowkey growl at the memory of all the cringy and doggy answers he had to come up with mainly in the US. Taehyung and Jungkook also rolled their eyes dissatisfied. Everybody felt itchy when hearing the word "date".
"Have you even thought about the saesangs? They will hunt you down and they will do everything in their power to destroy you, just as you destroyed their chances at ever fulfilling their delusional fantasies of being with you. They won't get near you in person but online... it will be a mess. They get offended when you guys only mention that you want to grow your hair... do you think they will have no opinion regarding this? Do you think it will be kind?" He stopped and looked at all of them. They seemed like they were the same boys he first met – shy and terribly young. He decided to just continue talking. "Of course, America and Europe will defend you like there is NO tomorrow. Americans love these types of scandals and they tend to be overly zealous in defending the same sex couples and worship them for their bravery. Europe is as open but more reserved when it comes to glorifying somebody's sexuality. However, you will be flooded with shameless questions in the US. Do not be surprised if you'll be asked who tops and who bottoms even if they will address it in a politer form." He continued with the same fatherly and friendly calmness which soothed the racing hearts of the two boys whose life was in the limelight.
All the boys blushed slightly at their mentor's choice of words. He wasn't wrong.
"I don't want to discourage you. I want to prepare you. As I said, Big Hit will stand beside you and I will personally sue their asses whenever they overstep the boundaries of decency. I will NOT let anybody ruin the image you - we - worked so hard for! You don't deserve that. I only ask that you ponder upon it more and maybe wait a little." He reinforced, his voice harsher.
"Waiting means more hiding..." Jungkook whispered.
"The reason is purely juridical. Homosexuality is prohibited in the army. If we do not reach an agreement with the government regarding your exception then I don't know how we'll be able to handle this and the outlash when you'll need to enroll. Of course, a lot of things can happen by then." He said grimly.
"We want to serve together..." Taehyung said. He and Jungkook already discussed that possibility when they were both of age. Even if conditions for idols were not as bad, they still felt like they needed one another because being forcefully separated for 2 years was not something they could easily fathom, not when you grow up together, not when you are used to being together for so long.
"And the media will react. Taehyung, I will stand beside you, I promise." Bang PD took his hand in his palm. "I don't want them to hurt you in all the ways I know they can. BTS has broken rules and boundaries before and we've done so together. I will respect your decision. I know you want to tell the entire world and I will be there screaming the words with you!" He added.
They stared silently into each other's eyes and for a brief moment, Tae was ashamed of the sheer amount of hate he used to feel for the manager. He only nodded slowly. "Thank you for supporting us." He said quietly.
Another "thank you" came from Jungkook's lips, as if he only then awoken from his slumber.
"However, if you do come out, please inform Namjoon prior to doing it. He needs to know as he will need to handle a lot of things as soon as it happens. Joonie, I trust your judgment on the timing. Am I right to do so?" he asked.
"Yes, sir." Came Namjoon's brief response. "I will draft answers to different questions and run them by the managers."
"Sir, we can actually do this? We can actually talk about it if we want?" Jungkook's eyes smiled enough for his entire body.
"Yes, Jungkook-ah. You don't need my blessing, but you have it..." PD Bang nodded as he took his phone from the desk and hit the quick dial button. Another landline phone could be heard ringing on the other side of the door. The secretary picked up and the boys were informed that there was somebody there to see them.
A young man, dressed in casual attire came through the door. He carried a bag on his shoulder and he was smiling brightly at everybody present. He walked straight to the manager and shook his hand respectfully only to turn to the boys and introduce himself. His name didn't ring a bell to either of them.
"This young man is a Dispatch photographer..." Bang PD said and the three boys froze. Jungkook and Tae immediately let go of their hands, as if the touch burned them all of a sudden. The young man smiled warmly and his eyes saddened.
His voice was friendly, lively. "No, no need for that. It's ok..." He said and he looked genuine.
"He has lived and studied in America and together with Dispatch, we have chosen him to be BTS' official photographer for various articles, shoots and collabs with NAVER."Bang PD gave them the man's professional resume in an abridged form and his portfolio was impressive.
"Dispatch will keep quiet?" Namjoon asked, concerned.
"Our bosses reached an agreement. The webzine will not out you and your secret is safe with me and the pile of confidentiality clauses I had to sign. I think I even lose my unborn children to Big Hit if I break them." He laughed and the two boys couldn't help themselves but chuckle at his joke.
"Plus, I think you two look great together," he said softly and both boys smiled warmly. "Heck, I don't think the world could handle you two as a power couple." He joked and the room filled with laughter.
There was hope.
Back at the dorm, BTS was checking the floor plan of their new apartment in one of the most expensive and private residences of Seoul. The access was under strict surveillance 24/7 and many idols, politicians and public figures had apartments there. The area had everything they could possibly need, from parks to banks, to hairdressers, even some shops and gyms. There was no need for bodyguards as soon as they stepped outside their doors and the prospect was a source of joy for each member.
The apartment they were currently looking at had a standard of 4 big rooms and a gigantic living room but the agency offered to alter the layout if the boys wished it so. It had two floors and a beautiful terrace. It was spacious and the lighting was glorious.
"Ah, so not enough rooms so that each of us gets one." Jin said disappointed as he, Jimin, Yoongi and Hoseok waited for the other boys to get back from the offices.
"I want a room. I can have a studio at home." Yoongi said with excitement. He loved his Big Hit office studio but it was small and the light was poor. It resembled a man cave more than anything else. He was somewhat tired of the small space and sleeping so often on the uncomfortable couch.
Hoseok laughed. "Maybe you'll be home more often."
Jimin eyed Yoongi with a smile. They haven't extended their conversation from the cabin but things awkwardly fell into place on their own. The evening of their return when Jimin popped his head inside of Suga's room to say "good night", Jin stepped out claiming that the younger boy suddenly reminded him that he needed to take a pile of clothes to the laundry. He mumbled something about Jungkook hogging the washing machine and how the maknae should buy himself one just for him since he was so obsessed with washing clothes every. single. day.
Yoongi chuckled and he signaled Jimin to step inside. The boy remained puzzled in the middle of the room as the door closed behind his hyung. Yoongi sat on the bed, cross legged.
"What was that all about?" Jimin asked, his voice small.
"He suspects. I mean... he knows. You were right." Yoongi answered commonly.
"WHAT? You told him?" Jimin raised his voice without even realizing and froze without knowing how he should process the information. He was stunned and millions of questions cascaded in.
"No and yes. He asked me if something was going on. I didn't deny it." Yoongi answered again with a smile. He waited for Jimin's reaction, hoping he wasn't mad. However, Jimin's facial expression hardened and he seemed a bit off, a bit angry. Yoongi exchanged his smile with worry, wondering if it the entire thing was a disastrous idea to bring up.
"You told me not to tell Taehyung but you spoke to Jin about... us?" Jimin's frown broke into a smile as he paused before using the pronoun. It felt awkward to say... it made him giddy and he immediately considered if we should have said 'you and I' instead. He almost panicked, wondering if he's going to get a weird reaction from Yoongi.
The older boy genuinely laughed at the amazed and confused look Jimin gave him. And instantly, Jimin started smiling and his cheeks transformed to show the softest share of red and for the first time, it hit Yoongi that Jimin was smiling at him. He wasn't smiling at the situation. He wasn't smiling because of some joke. He wasn't smiling because he found something amusing. He was smiling at him and nothing more. It wasn't news for Yoongi that he loved to see Jimin smile but he didn't really allow himself to think that he could be the sole reason for it.
He coughed and continued. "I... I didn't tell him much. He noticed 'something' with that sixth sense of his and asked if we had 'something going on'... I just confirmed but omitted the details." Yoongi mumbled as he got up from the bed. "Are you mad? He was on my case and he wouldn't have given up... and I live with him for now... and...." he mumbled, a bit more agitation and anticipation in his voice. Jimin told him at the cabin that "he doesn't care what the hyungs say" but them actually knowing there was "something" was completely different. His secret was safe with Jin because he and the hyung shared things they never admitted to anybody else but... but... but... there was always a "but"...
Jimin slapped the side of his arm lightly, snapping all the gibberish out of him. The boy was trying to contain laughter. "How much did you tell him?" he asked between giggles as Suga stood in front of him.
"Stop hitting me." He said as he picked up the other boy's wrist and squeezed gently. "I didn't tell him how great you kiss, for example..." he added with a grin, his voice dropping.
Jimin tried to release his hand, wiggling until he ended up in Suga's arms somehow. "Well you left out the most important part..." he said in the most lascivious voice the room had ever heard and then there was the same dangerous look which Yoongi adored and despised in equal amounts because every time he saw it he felt like he was falling from a great height and his body couldn't handle it. He could have sworn his breath became heavier, uneven.
The younger boy crashed their lips together, feasting upon each muffled sound, each breath he inhaled and the taste of Suga's mouth always electrifying. He knew that his entire body danced in the arms of the other, begging to be embraced, spoiled, touched. He let it dance. He focused on the sensation of happiness and dread inside him and then suddenly stopped, knowing that he left Yoongi dumbfounded. He felt the way Suga's tongue gave in to his and how his arms not only held him but caressed him, applying a small amount of pressure here and there, letting him feel the touch more than usual but unequivocally giving up in front of him.
"Fucking damn it..." Suga whispered as he whined theatrically as they parted, trying to restabilize his entire body.
"Goodnight..." Jimin said and went towards the door without turning his back.
Suga watched him leave and before he sat back on the bed, he just let out another set of words... "Park Jimin... I hate you." He mumbled.
Since that night, he and Jimin always said "goodnight" to each other. They looked for the other in the house just to say it and if nobody was around, Jimin would always come to place a small peck on his lips. If Jin ever noticed the verbal exchanges, he didn't say anything and Jimin was thankful that the hyung didn't even try joking about how he and Suga should share a room because the reality was that they both would have felt awkward with the suggestion or going through with such a plan.
"We can separate some of the big rooms for smaller ones" Jin added as he traced his finger over the floor plan.
Jimin knew he didn't want to be Yoongi's roommate but still... he started tapping his fingers on the counter, somewhat uncomfortable.
"What's wrong, Chim?" Hobi asked right away, sensing the uneasiness.
"I don't want to be alone in a single room," he replied. It was clear that he was embarrassed. "I mean, we could have a delimitation to the room, but I don't want to be alone." He said again. "Maybe Tae will share with me." He hoped and he knew Yoongi didn't feel any pressure to offer him his company. He was a cynic but he wasn't suicidal.
Jin shook his head. "Well, how prepared are you to hear him and Jungkook in the middle of the night?" the oldest boy laughed noisily as everybody giggled and made fake gagging sounds.
"Hyung, that's disturbing," Hobi replied. "I'll share with you, Jiminie!" he added merrily.
"You will?" Jimin's eyes suddenly got brighter.
"Of course! I might not be home all the time due to the fact that I have my own place in Seoul as well but you know I'll be with you more often than not." He put his arm over Jimin's neck and they chuckled, shaking hands and calling each other "roommates".
"And as your roommate... tell me... do you know if Jungkook and Tae ever..." he paused mischievously.
"Ever what?" Jimin asked, confused.
"...you know...." Hoseok said rolling his eyes and raising his eyebrows.
"Uh, hyung! We are not discussing if our friends had sex or not!" Jimin protested.
Jin whined. "Not even I can deal with this conversation right now. Somehow, the only image I have in my head, at this point, is me picking Kookie up from school. My paternal side can't handle this conversation."
The front door opened and closed and Namjoon appeared in the kitchen, followed by the two maknaes. Everybody let out a relieved breath when they saw that the newcomers were all smiles and giggles. They didn't want to admit and talk about the fact that they were nervous regarding the meeting at the offices. There were a number of things that could have went disastrously wrong and put an end to BTS's original line up. Whatever was discussed, their reactions meant that the conversation went well and everybody knew that the boys would eventually tell them the conclusion they reached with management.
"Is that the floor plan?" Namjoon asked as he approached. "Look here, there's a catch. This living room can be transformed into two separate rooms." He said, clearly having more information than the rest of them.
"Then except you two..." Jin said while pointing to Jimin and Hoseok. "Each of us gets his own room. They decided to share" he explained.
Taehyung looked at the floor plan lazily and turned to Jungkook. "Do you want to share with me?" he asked in a low voice. The maknae's bunny smile came as a reply.
"Yes..." he said as he grabbed Tae's by the waist and suddenly he looked more like a grown-up than he ever did until then. He took his protective stance, legs parted in an A shape firmly on the ground and his shoulders stiff. He was unmoved in his love, the precise rock in the middle of the ocean that Tae needed so he could rest his tired limbs when the waves got too menacing. Jungkook was warm, the heat of the Sun filling up even the small crevices where nobody else dared peek. Tae did that. Tae could heat even the coldest stone.
"OH MY GOD! Is this the equivalent of you guys moving in together? You must be pretty serious about each other..." Hobi cooed at them from Jimin's side like a proud mother.
Jungkook turned his smile towards Hoseok only to look back into Tae's eyes when he felt the boy's hands on his waist as well. "I guess we are..." he said and leaned in to kiss his best friend, his partner in crime, his lover... They became more and more comfortable in front of the other hyungs, as they stopped dancing around one another and faced all that they were feeling and wanting.
The kiss was soft and long, Jungkook catching Taehyung's lips between his and caressing them slowly - nobody commenting at the sight. There was a brilliant level of comfort in the abnormality of their feelings becoming normality because one had added a rock in the middle of the vast ocean on the map of their soul and the other finally found the oasis in their personal desert.
"They also sent the furniture portfolio..." Namjoon announced as he pulled a file from a stack of paper and began turning the pages. "Whoa, we can decide what type of furniture we want and the color!" he added as the boys all came around him.
"Wooden, natural looks the coolest...!" Suga said as he pointed out to a particular style and the rest of the boys nodded. "And these single beds look bigger than what we have now and these work just fine!" he added as he sat behind Namjoon.
"We're getting a double bed." Tae said looking at models. The rest of the boys said nothing but there it slowly became clear as daylight that the maknaes were making bigger steps than ever and that what they had was a relationship with all the implications of the word.
Jimin eyed them lovingly. " Wow, they will be sharing a room, the company knows and can't split them up at this point, their parents know... wow.. This is a full-blown relationship." he thought and he was even sure some of Jungkook's friends noticed how Taehyung and he behaved around one another.
"What color furniture do you want, Kookie?" Taehyung asked as he flipped some of the pages Namjoon wasn't holding.
Jungkook shrugged. "What color do you want? They have white. Do you want white?" He asked Tae back although he had also agreed that he liked the dark wooden pattern. Without waiting for a reply he added "you want white, don't you? Let's get white."
Tae showed off his boxy smile and Jimin's heart skipped a beat at the sweetness of Jungkook's compromise. He didn't care about the color of the furniture he would see every day if that meant he could see Tae smile every day and Tae's smile was nothing but contagious.
"It reminds me of winter..." said Taehyung even if it was summer in his heart because Taehyung never feared winter and he embraced the cold and snow. When others would wither, Taehyung bloomed uncontrollably. Even if the sun was powerless, Tae shone and that was the beauty Jungkook fell for, the softness and coolness of snow basking in the light.