"Hello?"
"Ah, great! You are up! It's only my third time calling. We're coming to pick you up in half an hour. Please be ready..."
"I..."
"Jiminie, please do not fall asleep. It's important that we get to the studio at the planned hour. Producers aren't going to wait for you to get ready."
"Mmm... yes. I understand."
Jimin mumbled and fell right back on the bed as soon as he assumed the conversation was over. The manager's voice was not the most pleasant one to hear first thing in the morning but it was normality, like an alarm you are way too used to ring at dawn. Although he knew that resting his head back on the pillow was an awful choice, his entire body ached from the sheer lack of sleep. Going to bed at 6 AM and waking up at 9:30 was not a scenario his body was going to accept easily.
As expected, he fell asleep while still holding his phone. Two seconds must have passed until he heard another voice desperately trying to wake him up.
"Jimin-ah! Don't you have to be at the studio?" Namjoon entered the room as soon as he could see one of their cars approaching. "Honestly, Jiminie! Wake up. Your pick up is at 10."
Jimin growled dissatisfied. "I know. I can get... ready... in 10 minutes, just let me...sleep... another 10..."
"I don't know about your dream land but it's 9:55 in our world and the car is already honking for you." Namjoon couldn't help but let out a short chuckle before resuming his authoritarian façade and pulling the covers off the boy.
The first thought that crossed through the youngest brain was that Namjoon was probably playing a prank on him and he realized that he was still clucking his phone so he pressed the home button lazily.
9:57
"Waaah! No, no, no..." Jimin jumped out of bed and a short headache scolded him intensively for the extremely sudden move. "How the hell is it 9:57 already...?" He asked rhetorically and slipped in the closest pair of jeans he could see.
"You mean 9:58..." Namjoon got out of his way.
The boy started searching through a drawer for a long sweater and settled on the very first which seemed to be warm and clean enough. "Pass me a hoodie, will you?"
"Which?" Namjoon asked surprised to be sucked into Jimin's rush which only replied by waving his hand in a manner which gave the leader the clue that he didn't care.
Namjoon took of the dark blue hoodie he was wearing and passed it to Jimin because he really didn't want to search through their packed closet. The boy didn't even notice the oversized sleeves he had to pull up and whose elastic was so strained that they didn't stay in place. He threw a hat on and shouted to Namjoon as he ran down the hallway.
"Never let me sleep again!" he said while Namjoon watched him from the doorframe of the room. However, he heard Jimin's voice again and a short scream. "Ah! Ouch. Who keeps leaving their shoes scattered around?! I live with pigs!"
The front door closed with a loud "Bang!".
"You ARE a pig..." The leader giggled while thinking about the zodiac sign the 95er was born under.
He smiled somewhat satisfied that he didn't need to roll Jimin outside the door and into the car. He wondered if his roommate was simply too sleepy to argue or if the sudden burst of responsibility had a pre-defined answer. No matter the correct response, he was glad that a fight with Jimin was easily avoided.
"And speaking of pigs..." Namjoon looked at the door in front of his own. He was 99% sure that the white door hid the other piglet which needed waking up. He almost wanted Suga to be home so they could place a bet on the exact screech they heard last night when Taehyung went to bed or better said when Taehyung went to a bed, one which was not his.
He knocked on Jungkook's door several times as he grew more and more impatient with the necessity of standing idly in front of a door, hoping that the maknaes would hear his pounding. He decided he would wait a few seconds before going in.
Luckily, Jungkook opened the door groggily before Namjoon had to come in uninvited. He couldn't help but observe the fact that Jk was wearing an unzipped hoodie, which Namjoon could tell he rapidly threw over his bare torso in case there was a manager or a noona at the door. The zipper didn't aid him in his quest to move fast and with precision. The maknae seemed relieved to tell that it was his hyung at the door and not anybody else.
"Ammm... Kookie, could you let Taehyung know that a car will be here for him in about 45 minutes?" Namjoon said warmly and Jungkook's head briefly turned to the bed and back. He rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably as he nodded politely to the elder.
"I will..." he said sleepily. "I need to go to the studio as well, anyway so thank you for waking... us... up." He stuttered and bowed his head slightly.
"...Us" Namjoon repeated in his mind.
There had always been an "us" concerning the two so why did Jungkook hesitate? "Us" wasn't a bad word. "Us" wasn't compromising. "Us" wasn't unheard of.
The dawn...
Something changed...
Suddenly, Namjoon felt like that particular morning was different altogether. It mimicked the first day of spring that one doesn't even notice, mind buried still in the grief for winter. He scanned Jungkook's expression but there was nothing he could understand from it except the fact that the maknae was a bit flustered and a bit tired and a bit... calmer or less preoccupied? It wasn't until Jungkook smiled and began closing the door that Namjoon understood how awkward he was by sitting there, trying to figure out if the kid in front of him was actually happy or not but there was more than happiness to it. It was a sense of serenity.
The door closed and the leader went back to his room. In the eve of the disbandment, Jungkook smiled and Jungkook smiled because of an "us" more than he did because Namjoon must have looked like an over-analyzing fool.
"Well, I'll be damned, Yoongi... You were right. I doubted it but you were right." Namjoon thought and shook his head in disbelief. "They won't let go of the other even when Bangtan is no more, but will they survive out there? Will they survive when the press finds out that they moved in together although they are not part of the same band anymore? Will they overcome it?"
Namjoon sat on the bed and began writing in a notebook.
Jungkook closed the door and casually took off his hoodie while moving back to the bed where Tae laid down peacefully. He pushed a few hairs out of Tae's closed eyes and a Lauv song came to his mind. He had to abstain himself from humming although he knew Taehyung would like it if he outright sang the song for him.
"Was that Joonie hyung?" Tae spoke with his lips in the pillow.
The maknae continued caressing the elder's hair gingerly and then moved his fingers on the warm skin on his back. He drew invisible patterns until Tae laughed shortly and shifted his position.
"Stop that. It tickles..." Tae said between faint giggles and he placed himself closer to Jungkook, resting half of his body on his chest, enjoying the sensation of skin on skin and the warmth which stretched itself all over him. There was unmatched pleasure in the sensation of their bodies together, protected by covers and walls. The younger boy noticed how the scent of vanilla made way to the realness of Tae's smell which, somehow, was even more enticing. Jungkook took everything in with a fuzzy mind and wrapped his arms around Tae as he continued to caress him while also observing the small, blonde hairs and smoothness on Tae's broad shoulders.
Jungkook whispered in Tae's ear and the raspy voice was as tender as his touches. "We need to go to work soon. Don't get too comfortable..."
Tae's breath fell on his neck and Jungkook couldn't bear the electrifying sensation yet he couldn't get to the other one's lips in that particular position. He absolutely loved feeling Tae's lightweight on his body. He wondered how it would be like if all mornings were so beautiful. Tae' sole presence made each morning different and exciting. Without Tae there, the mornings were only a continuation of the night.
He held the Sun. Planets, moons, dreams... everything revolved around him. In a split second, a vague sense of possessiveness overtook Jungkook and without thinking, he squeezed Taehyung to his chest and told him "You're mine."
The hyung smiled softly and mumbled an "mhm...." as his hand caressed Jungkook's muscles absentmindedly. "...I am," he added simply and placed a small peck on the collarbone sitting so advantageously next to his lips.
"Promise?" Jungkook giggled joyfully, partly because of the tickle and partly because of the ease Tae spoke with.
"Mhm..." mumbled Tae again, with a sluggish inflection in his hum.
Jungkook was comfort and he was exciting. There was nothing Jungkook couldn't do. There were patterns to him which Tae recognized easily as time progressed and he spun only closer and closer. However, there also were sudden bursts of courage and care as well. Tae decided to bask in the circles Jungkook perfectly drew on his skin. There was no embarrassment between them and nothing cast shadows in Tae's vicinity.
"This feels nice, doesn't it?" Jungkook asked, closing his eyes.
Like a spoiled child, Tae stretched on the maknae more. He raised his head, looked at Jungkook and touched his chin for attention. "Kookie..." he said slyly.
"What?" the maknae's eyes shot open and Tae rested his chin on the boy's chest.
"How come you don't find any of this repulsive?" Taehyung asked with interest, hoping that his question would not allow a sudden realization of how immoral the situation was.
Jungkook laughed and Taehyung could feel his chest vibrating under him. He widened his eyes in anticipation of the answer.
"I don't really know, Tae. Probably, because it's you. It's not like I've been really interested in other guys except you. It's not like I've done this before with a guy. You're different than anybody I know." He said and observed Tae's puzzled look.
"Jin hyung is handsome." Tae replied. "Did you ever feel like you liked him?" He added a bit embarrassed.
"Ewww," came Jk's reply and exaggerated disgusted reaction. "Hyung is handsome, yes... but no, no, no..." He chuckled and cringed. "I will get nightmares even imagining it." He continued. "Not my style. Not my style, AT ALL." He joked loudly.
"Woa... " Tae laughed briefly but quickly resumed his puzzled look, which amused the maknae even more. "Then, am I your style?"
"Completely..." Jungkook watched Tae's mouth formed one of his overly excited smiles. "...except..." the maknae broke off, his tone changing.
"Except what?" Tae's expression hardened and he worried.
"...it wouldn't hurt if you picked up after yourself more, you sloppy thing." Jungkook laughed again and Taehyung did the same as soon as he realized the maknae was only joking.
"Well... we can't all be the perfect, golden maknae which everybody likes." Tae tickled his chin again.
"Do you like me?" Jungkook teased with a smug look on his face.
"I would hope so..." Tae said seriously. "I mean, I am half-naked in YOUR bed and between your sheets so I think it's safe to say that I like you a fair amount..." he giggled as Jungkook frowned playfully.
"A fair amount, huh?" Jungkook moved his fingers to Tae's side to tickle him as protest for his statement.
Tae twitched uncontrollably under his fingertips and rolled on his side to escape from the torture. "Stoooop..." he managed to utter between laughs but Jungkook wasn't about to let him break free. He rolled over him as Tae continued with the same tone he heard Jungkook use when scolding him "It wouldn't hurt..." He tried catching Jungkook's hands in order to stop him "...if you stopped being so... good at everything.... you try for the first time. It's seriously annoying..." He laughed as he fought the chaotic and intense tickles.
Jungkook paused and gave Tae the most inquisitive and mischievous look. "Hmm... so you're saying last night was good...?" Jungkook couldn't keep a straight face as he asked but as he saw Tae's cheeks reddened he pressed himself on top of him more, laughing for a second with his head lowered.
Tae answered in a hushed voice "It was good..." and he wanted to raise his lips towards the maknae. Jungkook noticed.
"I figured. You didn't seem that annoyed last night." He couldn't say the sentence without bursting into laughter again. He felt good knowing it wasn't a letdown and that the other boy enjoyed it as much as he did.
"Jeon Jungkook, are you blatantly flirting with me?" Tae asked. Jungkook laughed harder, seeing Tae's boxy smile. "So sassy of you..." he joked.
"Taetae, stop talking for two seconds..." Jungkook said between smiles.
"Wh--" His lips lost their freedom to answer.
They kissed slowly just like they had done in the past. Nothing changed or at least, nothing changed for the worst as Tae thought it would. Even if he and Jungkook spent a night together, even if they touched each other, even if they had no real idea what they were doing, it wasn't bad... no, it was "good" and it was happy. They were happy...
....and they were running late.
Jimin: Hyung, could you please open this blasted door?
Jimin: Hyung?
Jimin: Suga Hyung?
Jimin: I don't understand why you need this stupid lock since there is a tone of security in this building...
Jimin: Are you sleeping?
Jimin: W
Jimin: A
Jimin: K
Jimin: E
Jimin: UP!
Yoongi tried ignoring his phone for as long as he could. He forgot it on the desk and the sound was still on, therefore every notification PINGed loudly in his ears. Sleep was not safe from interruptions even in his studio "bunker". If there wasn't for the very expensive equipment on his desk, he would have thrown something at his phone to stop it from going off like an annoying alarm.
When the ringtone started it was obvious that he couldn't ignore it any longer, therefore he got up from the couch and accepted the call.
"Ahhh, what is it, Jimin?" he frowned as he answered.
"I am literally outside your door. Could you please open?" Jimin's voice was frustrated.
Yoongi took two steps towards the door and opened it from the inside. There were moments when he was so thankful for the password locking system he had the company install for his studio and that particular moment was one of them. Generally, people gave up quickly if he didn't answer the door but Jimin was relentless to the point of exasperation.
"I knew you were sleeping!" Jimin's walked through the door as he held two coffees in his hands. He looked exhausted but he smiled at the sight of a Yoongi in disarray. "I brought you two coffees."
"Yeah, you woke me up," Suga said a bit unsure of he was supposed to do next. He sat back down, mixed reactions tugging at his soul but he accepted the coffee without much complaint.
"I thought it was only fair for you to suffer alongside me today..." Jimin teased him. "Why should you get sleep when I had a dance practice and a meeting?"
The elder didn't answer, his attention focused on the warm liquid in the cup Jimin handed to him. "Don't you want one of these coffees?" he finally asked, unable to look the other boy in the eye. He felt like his cheeks would fire up instantly. However, he knew that if he didn't then the boy would misunderstand him again. He hated the unclear borders.
Jimin laughed. "No. Those are for you, I am actually heading to the dorm and straight to bed." Jimin yawned inaudibly.
"Thank you. It's kind of you to get these for me although you were done." Yoongi finally looked at him but he was serious. Jimin wondered if it was because of the lack of sleep or because he was actually mad at him for the previous night. He didn't seem mad when they were kissing.
Upon seeing the boy's look, Yoongi felt compelled to address it. "I suppose you also want to talk about last night, right?" He pressed on with a sigh.
"Talk about it? Talking about it has a 100% chance of me ruining it somehow." Jimin laughed again. "Don't worry, hyung..."
Admitting that he was a bit surprised by Jimin's attitude towards the entire thing was perfectly normal. He couldn't pinpoint what type of reaction he expected from Jimin but it wasn't as laid back as he viewed the boy in his studio. It crossed Suga's mind that perhaps it was all fake and something else was silently expected of him.
"I don't want you to be disappointed or ..." Yoongi started.
"Hey, hyung... stop worrying. Seriously..." Jimin cut him off. "From what I reckon, I simply admitted that I liked you last night and judging by your actions I would say that you kinda like me too. We have that information, could we not over-think it? I won't tell anyone if that's what you're concerned about..." Jimin trailed off but he was calm and casual, no trepidation in his voice. He meant every word.
It so happened that over-analyzing was Yoongi's specialty. "Ah, Jimin-ah... It's not about telling anybody although it would be really awesome if no one butted in our business."
"Then I will probably tell Tae..." Jimin laughed.
Yoongi's heart skipped a beat. "Taehyung? That's practically telling Jungkook as well, which will cave under Namjoon's inquisition, which will probably tell Jin and when everybody is comfortable enough with the knowledge they will spill the beans and Hobi will find out as well. Bangtan Drama. We love it."
"Jin hyung knows it was us last night." Jimin took out his phone.
"Hyung was sleeping..." Yoongi gulped.
Jimin pushed the phone in front of Yoongi's eyes with an 'I know something you don't' attitude. The text message was clear even if it didn't state anything openly.
Jin: Hobi and Namjoon ate all your kimchi soup.
Jin: I tried stopping them but it was so good. Yum!
Jimin's reply was just a handful of laughing emojis. He was cautious enough not to confirm or ignore the message and even that fact left Yoongi in disbelief.
"Don't worry. It doesn't matter, either way, hyung..." Jimin moved towards the door. His reaction was too quick to be natural.
Yoongi stopped him. "Wait, wait... what do you mean with that?" Somewhere, somewhere in the world, a flower withered instantly and the lack of vitality rippled its way into Suga's studio in Seoul. It hit Jimin the hardest because he looked at the ceiling as he exhaled, pushing air and sadness out of his lungs and body.
"We are disbanding and it's high time we face the fact that these are our last months together. This comeback in going to be our last..." His pause killed any idea of hope. Jimin sat down and his head lowered himself together with his shoulders. "We act civil but we avoid each other. Jin hyung sits alone in his room and I haven't seen Hobi hyung smile in ages. I don't even recognize his voice when he speaks now... Naturally, staff is also upset... and I can't help but feel like we betrayed them... no, that we are continuously betraying them... "Jimin drove his hands through his hair as small droplets of water gathered on his lashes.
"I was practicing the choreography for "Blood, Sweat and Tears" and the director asked me why I am doing it... 'It's not like you need to practice it anymore. You won't be dancing that again.' He said and he is right. We won't. The last time we danced "Blood, Sweat and Tears" was the last time. Everything and anything we do as a group is going to be the last time we do it... We were so busy that we failed to see the end." Jimin's arms wiped his eyes in a rush and he got up to leave. "As I see it, we are done. And even this... this might be the last time I bring you coffee after a dance practice. I am going to enjoy it." He smiled bitterly as Yoongi listened to him with his mouth opened, perplexed at the immensity and intensity of Jimin's thoughts. He felt every word as it rolled off the boy's lips.
"We were too busy to see the end..." Yoongi repeated in his mind. "We were too busy to see... each other." He rubbed his eyes irritated.
"Committing every happy moment to memory now only paves the way to the obvious pain that it will cause later. I don't want to hurt..." Yoongi said from his chair, hands locked together cocooning knowledge and the defenselessness of his persona.
"Then enjoy this with me until it dies... You won't need to see us again and you will slowly forget me." Jimin opened the door. "The world does not end, only Bangtan..."
It clicked. All that Jimin was saying clicked unexpectedly in his mind. There was no more sadness but reality. It would have been easier if the world ended as well, but the true tragedy was that it didn't and they had to live with the decision and observe the consequences. The young man standing in front of him was not a child posing as an adult anymore. None of them were children anymore. They knew which words hurt and the weight of their decisions. Jimin was a young man deciding how to live his life instead of waiting for others' approval or guidance.
"Chim chim..." Yoongi extended one of his hands to reach him. "Thank you for the coffee. I really appreciate it." He also made his decision and smiled kindly.
Jimin couldn't stop himself in due time. He leaned over the hyung and kissed his head lightly.
"See you back at the dorm." He told him and opened the door.
And just like that, Jimin was gone from the space of the studio but his words were embedded in the antiphonal material of the walls like invisible lyrics written all over. Suga went back to his work but he couldn't focus on Jungkook's song. Would he forget? Could he forget the stages? He didn't even remember them all. Could he forget the chants? He was so used to them. Would he forget the choreographies or would he remember them just like one remembers the lyrics to that annoying song that was popular when age 5? It would be easier if he simply forgot or expelled every memory.
His mind was not in the right place for magic and the track titled "Jungkook_Song.aiff". He opened up another audio project titled "TEAR". He stared at it for minutes...