Edited 05/30/21
Later came quicker than Meadow had planned. When she thought of later, she thought of next week or, even better, next month. But in Paul's head, later meant the next day. Later was a word reserved for procrastination. Everyone who used the expression, "We'll talk later," wanted to procrastinate the inevitable talk, which is why the word is later and not tomorrow!
She felt stupid for being cornered the way she was. Paul had found the perfect opportunity. She should have been able to smell him coming from a mile away, but she wasn't used to all the new scents yet. Thus, there she was, sitting on the beach with Paul by her side. She was trying to ignore him, but some dumb pull kept making her notice the small things: the wind brushing through his hair, the calm breath sneaking in out of his chest, the small twitch of his lips.
It was all so infuriating! She felt so calm in his presence even though she wanted to be nothing but angry and annoyed. It was a feeling worse than suppressing her emotions. At least she had control over that! This, though, was something new and powerful; something she couldn't control even though she tried so hard to.
"What do you want?" she asked harshly. She wanted to get back to being alone.
"You said we'd talk later," Paul said with a shrug of his shoulders. "It's later."
"I wanted time away from all of you, hence why I said later," she stressed angrily.
"We don't have time for this, Meadow," Paul said seriously. "I get you don't want this, but that doesn't mean you should run away from it."
"You don't understand anything," she grounded out.
"I imprinted, too, Meadow. I turned into a wolf, too. How don't I understand?" he asked.
"You just don't," she said stubbornly. "Just because we've gone through a few similar things doesn't mean you understand."
"Then stop running away and explain it to me," he said. She could tell he was frustrated. His body was tense, and a hard frown sat on his face.
"I'm not running. I just need time," she said simply.
"Don't close yourself off from me," Paul said, "You've opened up to me before, why can't you do it now?"
"That was before you told Sam about my suspicions," Meadow told him.
"I already told you! I didn't want to tell him! I was ordered to," he confessed.
"By who, Sam?" she asked incredulously.
"Yes," he said exasperatedly. "Just listen..."
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Paul watched Meadow run into the house with a pained expression on his face. He didn't know how he was supposed to get on her good side when so many things kept happening. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he left the car and ran into the woods behind her house. He was quick to shift into his silver fur. Frantic thoughts reached his head and he groaned from the intensity of them.
Shut the hell up, Black, he snarled out.
Paul, leave him alone, Sam said sternly.
Where did my clothes go?! Jacob asked as he freaked out.
Way to notice the good things, Paul said sarcastically.
Paul, enough, Sam ordered.
Paul couldn't help but to think about his date with Meadow and how great it was until they got back. He partially and childishly blamed Jacob for causing her to run off. If he had just kept his wolfy mouth shut, she wouldn't have run off the way she did.
You were on a date with my sister?! Jake asked incredulously.
Yeah, and it would have been the best date of her life if you hadn't picked today to shift, Paul grumbled. He pictured their kiss together, the surprise that lit up her face and the blush that had covered her russet cheeks. She was so cute when caught off guard.
You kissed my sister?! Jacob screeched in their heads. By then, Paul had found where Sam and Jake were and plopped down on his haunches. He observed Jake's wolf form and was surprised to find that he was just as big as Sam.
She's my imprint, stupid, Paul said with a roll of his eyes.
Imprint? What? Jake asked.
Don't worry about it. Worry about switching back. We have things to discuss, Sam said. As Jacob focused on getting back to his human form, Paul couldn't help but think how Meadow was right to worry about her brother. The conversation they held in the diner slowly played across his mind before he realized what he was doing and thought of other things.
What was that? Sam asked with narrowed eyes. It made his already intimidating form scarier.
Nothing, Paul said.
Paul, Sam warned.
It's just something Meadow commented on. It's nothing serious, Paul said, trying his hardest to turn the focus of the conversation onto something else.
I won't ask again, Paul. Tell me: What did Meadow say? Sam commanded. Paul whined under the pressure. He tried to fight against the order, for Meadow's sake, but it was too much. The conversation rolled through their minds, and Paul was helpless to stop it.
"I'm just worried about Jake...." she trailed off.
"Billy and Sam are taking care of him," Paul said.
"That's what I'm worried about," she said. She chewed on her bottom lip.
"What's wrong?" Paul asked. "Please tell me."
She sighed and said, "I.....overheard some things my dad said while he was on the phone."
Paul tensed and said, "Like what?"
"I....."
"You can tell me, Meadow," Paul said.
"Well, he said Jake was sick and that he was next to...shift?" she said.
"If it was anything bad, I'd let you know, Meadow."
She's that worried? Jake questioned quietly.
She isn't supposed to know yet, Sam said.
You think she's gonna shift, anyway! What's so bad about telling her now? Paul asked.
What if she doesn't shift? Sam questioned.
Then she'll still know because she's my imprint, Paul reasoned.
She's not ready, Sam said.
That's bullshit! Paul yelled
She's not ready, Sam repeated himself, this time more harshly. Let's hope she doesn't shift anytime soon.
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"...so I didn't mean to tell him," Paul finished. Meadow contemplated what he told her and sighed. She felt bad for yelling at him so harshly before, but how was she supposed to know that was why Sam knew?
"I'm sorry, then, for yelling at you so harshly," she sincerely apologized. Paul laughed her off, though it was a bit strained.
"Don't worry about it," he said. "I kind of deserved it. I was being pushy back then."
"Yeah, you were," Meadow said jokingly. Paul bumped her shoulder with his and smiled at her. The two of them basked in the small bit of joy surrounding them before they got serious again.
"I'm here if and when you need to talk," Paul said. "I know what it's like to be ignored at home. After my parents divorced, my dad brought me back to La Push. He started drinking and ignored me at home a lot. I had to fend for myself, and I was angry at him, so we got into a lot of arguments. That's why I acted out so much in school. I wanted to get the attention I never got at home. It wasn't until I shifted that I felt I had a real family and was able to control my temper."
Meadow stared at the sand as tears welled in her eyes. She didn't want to hear him recount his horrible childhood. She didn't want to think about how he must have felt or how lonely he must have been. Thinking about that was like thinking about how she felt and that was something she didn't want to do.
"I get it, Meadow, which is why I know you don't have to be alone in all of this."
"I don't care," she whispered.
"You don't care?" he asked.
"No, I don't.
"Stop wallowing in your own pity and realize that you have people that care for you!" Paul shouted.
"Like you?" she asked incredulously. Her voice raised as tears sprouted from her eyes. She couldn't fathom why she was being so emotional, but she couldn't stop the tears no matter how hard she tried. "You only care for me because you imprinted on me! Don't act like you really do."
"Why are you being so stubborn!" he shouted.
"Because I've never had to open up to anyone like you before!" Meadow yelled at the top of her lungs. She needed to get her point across to him. He needed to understand why she couldn't do this, why she couldn't accept the help the help he wanted to give.
"Like me?" Paul asked confusedly.
"Yes! Like you! My family - Jake, my dad, my sisters - and Embry and Quil accept that I won't give them anything more than what is necessary. But you-" Meadow stopped mid-sentence to let out a sob. She tried to get her wits together, but everything was jumbled because of him. It was all because of him.
"You want more out of me! I can't give you more! I'm not, I'm not used to opening myself up so much! Why can't you see that?! Why can't you see that this is too much for me?!" she finished. Her eyes were wide and watery. Tears escaped the confinements of her eyes. She had lost it. He had pushed her too much and she was struggling to get a hold on her emotions.
"Because I was you! I tried to keep Sam and Jared out for so long after I shifted. But when I finally accepted them, when I finally let them in, it felt like a huge burden came off my shoulders."
Meadow shook her head and tried walking away from him, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. She wanted to hit him for pulling on her, but at the same time, she was glad he did.
"For once in my life I want to work hard on something. I want to work on a relationship instead of abandoning it. I want to experience love, real love, instead of the lust I'm so used to," Paul said determinedly. "We can take this as slow as you want. There's no rush. I'll help shoulder any burden you feel. If you need space, I'll give it to you. I'm here for you, Meadow. You just have to trust me."
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He held her tight as she cried in the crook of his neck and clung to him. Meadow couldn't explain why a dam had let loose. Why was she crying so hard? Why did she feel so vulnerable? Why was she giving in? Her shoulders sagged and she pressed her face further into his neck. Why did she feel like any minute she'd drown, and Paul was her lifeline keeping her afloat? It was such a foreign feeling.
She nodded her head against his skin and whispered. A small smile lit up Paul's face and he curled his arms further around her frame.
"Okay."
A.N.
Meadow is finally giving Paul a chance! I read your comments and I honestly forgot that Sam gave Jake an option to be the Alpha. If I'd have known that, I would have had Sam talk about it. Still, Meadow is definitely not ready for that position. She's gonna come into her wolf nature her own way, though, so don't worry too much.
Don't forget to ☆ the chapter and comment what you think!
♡ Stay Awesome ^u^ ♡