Cassie's point of view:
I think we have some things to talk about.
Why is that the scariest sentence I've ever heard?
I inhale sharply, but I nod my head at Aaron, giving him a small smile.
I think I have a pretty good idea of what he wants to talk about, and it's making the hairs on the back of my neck rise.
Tiffany said he broke up with her, which means he's open for me to date.
I know I should be happy, but all I can think about is what this is going to end up like.
We're going to talk, and now that he's not dating Tiffany anymore, he's going to want to date me, and...
And I'm going to mess it up, just like I mess almost everything else up.
But, in order to keep my cool and not show just how nervous about this talk I am, I widen my smile and turn around to hop to the table.
As I hop, I hear him move closer until I'm being lifted off the ground.
The other times he's done this, I felt a radiating warmth at every point our bodies touched.
Now, I feel a fire.
A forest fire in the middle of a drought.
A big burning ball of molten fucking lava ignites inside me, and I feel the temperature of the room climb higher. I have to resist the urge to throw myself out of his arms.
After setting me down in a seat, he takes the one next to me, and I sigh in relief once my brain processes the fact that he's not touching me anymore.
My fucking hormones are all over the place; if I'm not careful I'll probably jump him right here and strip him down, just to see his chest muscles.
I mean, his muscles do be looking pretty good.
I want to cry.
What the fuck are these feelings inside me right now?
I swear I'm all over the place.
Aaron opens his mouth to speak, but a sneeze rips through my body.
And I feel a little trickling of wetness in between my thighs.
No.
Please don't tell me it's time.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I push back from the table and start to hop as fast as I can towards the stairs.
Fuck me. Fuck me in the asshole in the depths of fucking hell. Fuck.
"Cassie?" Aaron asks, his voice filled with worry. "What's wrong? Did I do something? If you don't want to talk we can-"
"Just stay there," I yell over my shoulder as I continue hopping, now going up the stairs. "I'll be right back."
I manage to make it all the way to my bathroom, and I shut and lock the door, hobbling over to the toilet.
I pull down my shorts and panties and sit down, my eyes shut as I steel myself.
God, if you're listening, I promise I'll go to church next Sunday, I'll pray every day, I won't make fun of Cole anymore...
Yeah, that's never gonna happen, but please, don't let there be blood.
I open my eyes and look down at my underwear.
Everything in me drops when I see the red stain.
Fuck.
I manage to open my cabinets, and my stomach sinks once I see no boxes of pads or tampons.
I wince, and look in the direction of the trashcan, tears coming to my eyes when I see the empty boxes.
Why didn't I buy any more from the last time?
I lift a hand to wipe my tears away, and i take a deep breath.
Okay, I have to ask someone to bring me some pads for the blood currently dripping out of my vagina.
Fun.
I'll just call Mom; she'll tell me what to do.
I look around for my phone, my heartbeat increasing when I don't see it.
Where the fuck is it?
It is at that moment when I remember where it is.
On my dining room table.
Where Aaron is.
Fuck. Me.
What did I do to deserve this?
The pressure in my stomach increases, though not to the point of pain.
The cramps are coming.
Against my efforts not to, I start crying.
Like, crying crying.
I put a hand over my mouth to muffle my sobs.
What the hell is happening?
I've been crying more and more in the recent weeks.
Before the school year started, I hadn't cried since the day Kyle cheated on me.
The thought of Kyle makes me cry harder, and I want it to stop, I just want it to stop.
And I realize how pathetic I am, how pathetic this is. Crying my eyes out on a bathroom toilet like it's completely normal.
A knock sounds on the door, and my tears start to clear up.
"Cassie?" Aaron asks, his voice hesitant. "You alright?"
I nod my head, but then remember that he can't see me-I'm a dumbass-and sniffle.
"Yeah," I say, my voice clogged with snot and tears. "I'm fine."
There's no response, but I know he's still standing outside the door because that's just who he is.
"Cass," he finally says, and my tears return. The one word I literally never want to hear him say is my name. Ironic. "I know we're not... together, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me or ask me to do things. I'll do whatever you want me to. I'll always do whatever you want." He pauses. "And maybe that means I'm whipped, but I don't give a fuck, okay? Just... tell me what's wrong."
Why do I want to tell him everything that's wrong, everything that ever was wrong, and everything that I fear could go wrong?
Why do I want to tell him everything, the good and bad?
Why do I want him to give me that dumb fucking smirk he always wears?
Why do I want him to make me laugh?
Why do I want him to flick my fucking nose?
Am I...
No, I can't be.
It's been, what, six months?
Can you fall in love in six months?
You can't right? It's not possible. It has to take at least a year; that's what everyone says, right?
Where the fuck is my fucking brain right now?
"Cassie," he says, his voice the softest I've ever heard it. "Please."
Oh, fuck it all to hell.
"You know how girls get that..." Am I just supposed to say it by name? "Thing once a month?"
There's a pause, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
"Yeah..." he says slowly, like he's confused. "But I'm not sure what-oh. Oh." There it is. "Right, the thing girls get. Um, okay, and I'm guessing you're telling me because..." He trails off.
"I don't have any... materials."
Another pause, and then Aaron clears his throat. "Then I'll run to the store and get you some."
Something slides through the space under the door, and I look down to see my phone.
He brought me my phone?
"I'll text you when I'm there an you can tell me what kind you need, okay?"
"Okay," I say softly.
I listen to him walk away, and I'm again left with my thoughts. One in particular sticks out at me.
I think I'm in love with Aaron.
---------
Aaron's point of view:
When I was a kid, before I met girls who only wanted a quick fuck, I always imagined myself doing things for the person I was with.
Whatever she asked me to do, I would do it.
Dad always did it for Mom, always took care of her and made sure she was happy, and their relationship was-and still is-a beautiful thing.
And, even from a young age, I wanted that.
I wanted that level of a relationship with someone, wanted that closeness, with everything in me.
And then high school hit, and that want faded.
But now that want is back.
And it's all because of Cassie.
I want her.
Yes, I want her, but I just... want her.
I want her body, yes, but that's not enough; I want her smiles, and her laughs, and her eye rolls, and her punches, and her pain, and every good thing about her, and the bad things too. I want everything she's willing to give me.
I want everything.
A buzzing in my pocket brings me out of my thoughts, and I look around the aisle of the store I'm in.
Thankfully, it's empty.
I pull my phone out from my pocket, and my fucking heart smiles when I see Cassie's name on my screen.
Cassie: are you there yet??
Me: yep
I look up at the shelves and take in the many different brands of different things, and I have no idea what I'm doing.
But I'm willing to do it for Cassie.
My phone buzzed again and I look back down.
Cassie: did you get the stuff?
Me: what kind do you need?
Me: there are so many and idk what to get
Cassie: send a pic
I go to my camera and take a picture of the section of the shelf that holds the pad things, and then I send it to her.
I wait, and after a couple of minutes, I get another text from her.
It's the same picture, but a section of it is circled in red.
Cassie: get the circled one
I expand the picture to see one box circled.
How did she do that?
Me: alright
Me: I'll be there soon
The message goes to read, but she doesn't respond, and I take that as my cue to grab the box of lady products.
Walking to the cashier area, I get a lot of looks.
The looks from women are shocked and a little awed, and there's some appreciation there too.
But the men is a different story.
You can see the judgment on their faces.
But there's disgust there too.
I find that to be ridiculous; maybe they're men that wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near feminine products, but I don't care.
Cassie needs these, so I'm going to get them for her.
But, I still find myself moving away from the closest cashiers-which are all males-and towards one all the way in the back.
An older lady-but not older than forty-five-is manning the register, and we smile at each other as I place the box on the conveyer belt.
She scans it and puts it in a bag for me. "That all?"
I nod and she tells me my total, which is ridiculously high for one box of product.
I pay, bid her a good day, and walk back out to my car.
Me: I'm leaving the store now ok?
Me: need anything else?
Cassie: Oreos
Cassie: and cookies and cream ice cream
Me: ok
My fingers pause over the screen of my phone as I sit in my car, the bag with the thing for Cassie in the passenger seat.
I just had the strangest urge to add an 'I love you' to the end of my last message.
I know I like her-I know I do-but do I love her?
Sitting here, in the silence of my car, alone, everything involving Cassie comes rushing back.
Every smile, every laugh, every eye roll, every flick, every moment we've ever spent together, every time I've looked at her and felt a flutter in my chest, all of it flits through my brain in the space of a second, and it gives me an answer to my question.
Am I in love with her?
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
---------
I could not stop smiling while I wrote this, I just thought it was really cute, so yeah.
So close, guys; we're almost there. I'm rewriting this story, as I've already mentioned, and I'm honestly already in love with it. Cassie is a little meaner but I like it. The rewritten version should come out in March or so.
Speaking of coming out (I know that sounded like something else but I promise it's not what you're most likely thinking of), my next book should be coming out within the next two weeks, when this story ends and is completely finished.
I'll probably have a few bonus chapters from like Autumn's or Cole's or Gabby's or Gracie's pov, but it's all a very big maybe right now, so be prepared for that.
For those of you who don't know, I am swearing off emojis and switching them out with these:
:), ;), :D, etc.
Awesome, right?
--Rose