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D E N I A L
(n.) a psychological defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of it.
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"WONWOO!" Seulgi screeched as her brother smacked her face with cake icing and ran away guffawing. Seulgi growled, taking off her velvet jacket for Nayeon to hold and running after her brother.
"Come back here you ugly ass!"
"We're twins you idiot!"
"Do those two ever stop fighting?" Nayeon sighed, taking another sip from her punch as she watched two blond heads bobbing through the crowd. "God, though. They're both hot."
Bambam laughed and tightened his arm around Jennie's shoulders. She smiled at him for the sake of their status in school as the power couple and leaned over to place her head on his shoulder, suddenly tired.
It was their school's 60th anniversary. So to celebrate, the school held a party and everyone was required to attend for incentives. Jennie would rather just stay home.
Movement to her right came across her peripheral vision and she lazily looked to see what it was. The door opened, and a tall, slim figure shyly slipped through.
Jennie caught her breath. Lisa looked gorgeous in a silk nude dress. The dress hung from her shoulders in delicate ties and connected together at her front in a V, emphasizing her collarbones and cleavage. Her blonde waves were down in soft careless curls, her naturally stunning green eyes needing and having minimal makeup, and her natural pink lips complimented her dress perfectly. She was sexy without meaning to.
This was why she didn't want to come. It's been a week since the kiss, and she had avoided Lisa like the plague. She was confused as hell about her feelings, and being around Lisa didn't help. And the annoying problem is, maybe being around her helped too much. All she knew was that being involved with an undercover princess was a bad idea.
But she already is and she knew it.
"Ooh Lisa!" Nayeon noticed the blonde and waved her over excitedly. "You look hot!" She complimented over the pounding music playing. She stood up to hug the green eyed beauty.
"Hey Lis," Bambam greeted. "How are you feeling?" His concern for Lisa as a friend was natural. Jennie knew Bambam was really a caring person and his friends were always the recieving end of his affection. He had changed a whole lot over the year, and he always tells her it was because of her.
Since they were seated at a round table, the only space available was the spot Seulgi had occupied, which was right next to Jennie. Lisa greeted them all in return and tried to meet her eyes, but she wouldn't look at her. The blonde smiled at something Nayeon said and sat down next to Jennie.
When her soft skin brushed against her own, Jennie got up. "I'm going to the bathroom." Looking at Nayeon only, she quickly walked away to escape into the bathroom.
Thankfully, there was no one else in the bathroom. Jennie walked over to the sink and brought up a hand to clear a smudge at the base of her chin. Her chrome blue eyes stared back at her, her makeup done to perfection. Jennie Kim never failed to impress with her looks, no matter how much she tried not to care. The simple red dress she wore matched her lips, her black hair still in its half-up pristine condition. She looked put-together, at least. Unlike the mess that she was inside. She sighed. She should be out there flirting with her boyfriend and mingling with people, not hiding in the bathroom because the girl she kissed walked in the room.
Speaking of.
The door opened and Lisa once again got Jennie's heart into overdrive. She really was just so beautiful.
"What are you doing here?" She arched a perfect brow whilst closing and locking the door behind her.
Jennie swallowed hard.
"I have to go." She said hastily and moved to go out but Lisa quickly blocked her exit by placing her hand firmly on the door, bringing her face closer to the panting brunette.
"Are you..." she whispered in a shell pink ear as she stood behind her with her hand still on the door. "In denial?"
"God, Lisa how can I ever be in denial when there's nothing to deny?"
"Hmm," Lisa hummed. "Then why have you been avoiding me after the kiss?"
Jennie sighed, then turned around to face her, anger on her features. "Because, Lisa, I have a boyfriend. And this isn't right."
Lisa felt like cold water was just splashed on her face and leaned back. "Okay. I'm sorry," she hung her head. "I'm not gonna lie, Jennie. I'm hell of a lot attracted to you, and I know deep down in me I want something more. With everything that's been happening in my life, you made me forget about everything. You're my solid rock." She smiled at Jennie. "So if you want to just be friends, I'm more than ok with that. As long as I get to keep you in my life."
Jennie was amazed by Lisa's respect for her. She felt like slapping herself for not approaching and talking to her sooner like an adult.
Jennie hugged her then. "Thank you for understanding." And even as she said those words, it just didn't feel right.
Lisa was giving her a chance to decide. She wasn't pushing her. It was all in her hands. Am I making the right choice by walking away from her like this?
Then an insane thought went in her mind. She just needed the push to do it.
"Lisa, um," she blushed, looking down. With her heels, she was almost the same height as Lisa as she was in simple strap sandals. The blonde looked at her straight in the eye when Jennie looked up again.
"Yeah, Jennie?"
"Forget what I said." Jennie held Lisa's face in her hand and kissed her for the second time that week. The moment she did, she felt tingles to the tips of her fingers. Her lips were indeed heavenly, and Jennie drank her in like a woman in the desert. She nipped at her lips and danced with her tongue. Her hand subconsciously traced the long expanse of skin the slit of Lisa's dress had revealed. The princess moaned when she gently bit the side of her neck, rubbing against her. They were both beyond the thought of formality, everything else was already forgotten. There was just lust. Pure, raw, lust. It was like everything they've been trying to ignore built up to this very moment, and they were both bombs about to explode.
Jennie snuck a hand through the slit of her dress and into the front of Lisa's underwear. She's wearing a thong. Jennie briefly mused before grabbing it and ripping it off of her.
Lisa softly growled then and it was the sexiest thing Jennie had ever heard in her life.
"Oh god," she whimpered when Jennie's fingers whispered over the top of her bare core. "Tease." She grabbed the other's waist and pulled her against herself.
"Fuck," Jennie mouthed against her ear. "You're so wet and I haven't even touched you yet."
Lisa weakly nodded, her mind a fog of passion. Despite it being murky, one clear thought popped in her mind that made her grabbed Jennie's wrist to stop her.
"Wait, wait," she panted. "This isn't right, remember? You said so yourself."
"And I told you to forget what I said." Jennie pulled back then, frowning and breathing hard. When she saw the look on Lisa's face, her frown deepened and she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Oh right. Because I have a boyfriend and because we're both girls."
"No, no, sweetheart," Lisa smoothed her thumb over Jennie's cheeks. "I want our first to be in a better place than the school's dirty restroom." She chuckled.
Jennie smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you. For always respecting me."
I really, really like her. Jennie thought. What a funny place to realize that.
So despite the fear in her heart, she knew what she had to do.
She took Lisa's hand for strength, and squeezed it, her blue eyes telling the other girl everything.
In a few moments she was looking for Bambam. It wasn't fair for him. She wasn't in love with him. She was in love with the feeling he gave her when Lisa left.
Her heart wrenched. He saved Lisa's life. He was head over heels in love with Jennie. He treated Lisa well. He would do anything for Jennie.
And she was about to break his heart.
"Hey babe!" Bambam called. Jennie spotted him on the dance floor, his pressed button-up shirt emphasizing his muscles and his pants fitting him perfectly. He looked like the perfect, handsome boyfriend with his wolfish grin, chocolate eyes and honey blond hair. But he just wasn't for her and she couldn't keep doing this to him. She couldn't keep lying. He deserved better.
"Babe? What's wrong?"
"Bam, I-"
BANG!
Suddenly, a gunshot was heard. Screams exploded around Jennie and she ducked her head, kneeling on the floor.
"Jennie!" Lisa screamed, running towards her from her spot at the corner. More gunshots sounded and the twins tackled the tall blonde to the ground.
"Get down!" Jennie heard Owen yell and she was thankful they were there. Lisa could've gotten shot.
Jennie didn't think and just got up to run to them. The moment she did, a trigger pulled and a bullet soared. And the rest seemed to happen in slow motion.
A hard body slammed against her, knocking the air from her lungs. It was Bambam.
She looked over his shoulder to see a man wearing a mask and holding a gun, pointed right at them. Before he could pull the trigger, his body convulsed, and he collapsed on the floor. A dark-haired woman with the most grey eyes Jennie had ever seen was immediately in front of her, gently carrying Bambam's body to place it on the floor.
Oh god, Jennie quickly knelt down beside Bambam, a trembling hand pressed to her mouth. He was shot trying to protect her.
"Stay down," the woman yelled over the gunshots. She dragged an upturned metallic table to cover them and ran to Lisa and the twins, her own handgun clutched in both of her hands.
"No, no, no," Jennie chanted over and over, pulling Bambam's head close to her chest. "Not like this, please. No, no, no, no..." she rocked back and forth, stroking his hair. He wasn't moving, but she could still feel his breath against her neck.
Soon the tall, dark-haired woman had returned with Lisa and the twins in tow, still ducking to avoid the gunshots. Jennie was ashamed to think that she was thankful there were a lot of people in the huge room. Everyone was running, pushing, screaming; the shooters couldn't see them behind the upturned table.
And just as quickly as it had started, it stopped.
Sirens sounded then, and the gunshots stopped. The police had arrived. Commotion sounded outside but Jennie wasn't listening. She was in shock.
"Lisa," the dark-haired woman was still checking Lisa for shots. "We have to leave, now."
"No, Jisoo," Lisa said firmly, kneeling down beside Bambam. "I'm not leaving them. They came for me, and all of this is my fault."
"It will get worse if you stay here longer," her guardian said, holstering her gun and covering it with her shirt. "You're putting them in danger."
"Ohmygod where's Nayeon?" Seulgi frantically dragged her brother to his feet. "We have to find her!"
They left, and paramedics came to take Bambam. Jennie was limp, shocked. Everything was just fine a few seconds ago. Now she was afraid to stand up to see the chaos around her.
"They're even more desperate to kill you," Jisoo said in an accent Jennie couldn't quite place. "We must leave, now."
"I can't leave Jennie," Lisa implored even as her guardian was pulling her to her feet. The entire room looked like it went through an apocalypse. "I told her everything. If they catch her, who knows what they'll do to her to get her to speak."
Jisoo growled then, pulling Jennie to her feet. "Not a word. Our new place isn't even ready yet," she then proceeded to ramble in a language Jennie could only assume was in curses. "I need to speak with your parents. You need your own bodyguard. I'll contact the Academy." She spoke to Jennie in short, concise clips. "You're lucky I came in time to protect Lisa."
And right after she spoke to her, Jennie was engulfed in her parents' arms, their words of worry and concern going past her head. When they told her to grab her bag and follow them home with Jisoo and Lisa, she numbly obeyed. As they walked outside, students and teachers were being wheeled in ambulances or were being tended to outside the school. Jennie felt sick to her stomach when she saw Bambam enter the ambulance in a stretcher and tubes stuck down his throat, his mother crying beside him.
In the car, she looked down in her bag to find her phone.
Instead, she found a note.
Don't wait for the heart in the sink to become hers.