When the sun peeked through my apartment windows the next day. Our limbs clung together, still intertwined. Heat poured from his body into mine sending a content sigh through me. This is the life. The life I am meant for. The life I could have in the future.
Soft snores poured from his parted lips giving me a rare glimpse at the man I now trusted with my body, mind, and soul. The only man I trusted now with my secrets and intimate thoughts. For the first time in my life, it felt right. Insanely right, like he had always been meant for me. Only me. Every single molecule of him felt right. For now, of course, because I didn’t know where it would lead.
I felt as if we had opened a whole new world for me in a single confession. I now walked a brand new path, forged by honesty and vulnerability. A new path to a new me. To a new life. The possibilities seemed endless and maybe with him? Maybe we’d end up together in the end like some romantic comedy. Or maybe we’d fizzle out. The uncertainty of it all weighed on my shoulders like a boulder. Jade’s words repeated through my mind like a broken record with every sweep of his sleeping face. I had to let go and give it a chance. Everyone deserves a chance, right?
Even me.
Dex’s brown shaggy hair stuck straight up in every direction against the white pillowcase below him. Probably because of going to sleep so soon after our steamy shower session and it made him look even more adorable and real in my eyes. My fingers ached to run through his locks and tame their wildness. Instead, I opted to watch his chest ease up and down. With his deep breaths, I reveled in the sleepy noises he made.
He looked so peaceful and adorable beside me. His arms sprawled out around my torso and his long, lean legs intertwined with mine. A smile spread across my lips at the sight of his sleeping form. Who would have thought I’d be so comfortable in someone’s arms, let alone a hookup?
Or was he just a hook-up anymore?
I grazed my fingertips up and down his jaw. His scruffy chin tickled along the palm of my hand. Confirming to me this really happened to me. He's here, in my bed, and had been all night. I had shared my deepest, darkest secrets with him in a moment of vulnerability.
He didn’t run. He didn't scream at me. He wasn’t repulsed like Zane swore everyone would be by me. Zane tainted my very being. He tainted my thoughts and actions by poisoning my way of thinking. But Dex? He renewed me. Dex administered the antidote to counter the longterm poisoning that had lived deep inside of me for so long. And it's about damn time I relaxed and enjoyed something as simple as cuddling.
A lazy grin sprawled across my lips as his fingers brushed against mine on his cheek. Before looping his fingers between mine, enveloping me in his warm and nurturing touch.
“Hi,” he whispered, sleep clear in his small voice. His eyes fluttered open, almost in slow motion. He blinked rapidly as if the sun pouring in from the window above us burned his pupils. He settled his gaze on me.
“Hi,” I whispered back with a small, hoarse laugh.
“How are you this morning?” He asked, turning over slightly to face me. Running his fingers through my ratty hair, catching on his nails.
“Fantastic,” I whispered back. “And you?” He hummed, leaning in to kiss my forehead, letting his lips linger.
“Hungry,” he replied. Right on cue, his tummy rumbled beneath the sheets making mine answer back.
“Hmmm—well, I could make you something?” He laughed so hard our bodies shook on the bed. I could have sworn an earthquake rattled beneath us.
“I don’t think I’d trust you with pop-tarts in the toaster.” He quipped.
“Ohhhhh you’ve got jokes this morning, don’t you, Norman!” He laughed even more at my comment. My finger poked at his chest with every word, before he caught my hand in his.
“I can make you something if you’d like?” He whispered with sincerity, tucking my hair behind my ears.
“I have nothing to make. I usually hit the dining hall.” I said through a grimace. I hated admitting I couldn’t function as a proper adult. I couldn’t cook lunch. I couldn’t cook dinner. God, I was useless in the kitchen.
“If you give me 30 minutes, I’ll run to the market across the street. They have eggs and bacon. Do you like cheese?” He raised an eyebrow, and I just smiled.
“Who doesn’t like cheese?” I questioned through a laugh and he shrugged.
“It’s called lactose intolerance, Callie. It’s a serious issue.” He joked bopping my nose and then leaned in. His warm lips fell on mine lingering in a lazy morning kiss and then he pulled back.
“Get your skillet ready, baby. I will teach you how to make some eggs!” My stomach fluttered at the way he said baby so affectionately. He didn’t mean it as a true pet name, just jokingly. It still had the same warming, ooey-gooey effect on me making my stomach flutter with butterflies and my heart melt into a puddle.
“Yes, Chef, I’m ready to learn!” I quipped saluting him, as he rolled out of bed in just his boxers. He smiled wide and pulled on his discarded jeans from the floor.
“And don’t you dare put an ounce of clothing on either. It’s me, your naked body, and food to make.” His eyes darkened as he slipped into this dominant persona that took him over when lust soared through his veins, making me want to obey his every command. Well- sometimes.
I propped myself up on my elbow and smirked. “I’ll see you when you get back, Dex.” He gave a small wink and a wave, before slipping out the door. Disappearing into the hallway of the apartment building and out towards the market.
I headed into the kitchen after pulling on a long t-shirt deliberately disobeying Dex’s "no clothes rule". The long, black, band t-shirt only hung long enough to barely cover my vagina, so basically naked. Right? Besides, I refused to wear a bra and panties this early in the morning. I’d let him spank me hard later if he really wished to do so. I’d take it with a smile and a moan or two if he was lucky enough.
I attempted in vain to prepare my unused skillets for the eggs and bacon coming. But if anyone watched closely, they’d only see me staring at them like they were the world’s toughest math question. My eyebrows furrowed and my hands landed on my hips. What was I supposed to do with them now? Grease them? Start the heat? Smash them together like symbols over and over again until someone helped me? I liked that solution the best. It’d be ear-piercing loud, but awfully satisfying.
Excitement swam through me at the smile he gave me the night before when he told me he could teach me how to cook. His kindness and sweetness oozed out of him and infected every molecule of my body. The more he came around, the more I wanted him to stay close to me. To hold me like he had when I told him about the biggest burden I had carried around like baggage for so long. He had looked me in the eyes with such conviction and called me strong. Strong. Me? Was I? I’d put up with a lot of shit in my lifetime, some good, some bad, some ugly, and some beautiful. But everyone did right? Everyone lived through events that made them or broke them into pieces...
I survived. I’m here. I’m strong.
And I will make the best of it.
A little knock on the door called my attention away from the foreboding skillets. “Ahhh—my knight in shining armor!” I teased, his infectious grin spreading across his face.
“I come bearing gifts, my lady.” He teased. I took a few cloth grocery bags from his arms and helped him inside. We set them on the counter and his eyebrows scrunched together like he had some earth-shattering realization.
In three steps he stood in front of the picture we had discussed yesterday and bent down. He looked at the picture, back at me, and back at the picture again. I swear a tremor of fear pass through his slim frame. As he eyed my photograph with wide eyes.
“I—uhh--" he stood up straight and ran a hand through his hair. “I think I saw your dad walking across campus.” All the color drained from my face and my heart sputtered to a halt.
“Wh-what? My Dad? Are you sure?” I asked through stutters. He looked at the picture over again and nodded confirming my worst fears.
“Oh yeah, there’s no mistaking him. I definitely saw him heading into the auditorium.” I furrowed my eyebrows and then I realized.
My dad had gone from an amazing erotic writer to a motivational speaker. He opened up about his past addictions and how it had derailed his life. He gave speeches on what it did to his first wife and my half-sister. He told stories on how his alcohol consumption had almost torn him apart from my mom before they officially became an item. He rallied several other campuses into staying sober and focusing on their dreams and aspirations.
“What day is it?” I asked as he walked into the kitchen again.
“September 14th?” He said peering at his phone. I widened my eyes... September 14th... September 14... Why did that soun---- oh fuck!
“Crap — he didn’t see you come up here, did he? He wasn’t headed this way?” I swallowed hard and his eyes widened, fear sparking through them. He ran both hands through the sides of his hair.
“Well now, I’m thinking I should go hide in my room!” He said in a high-pitched voice, searching for an immediate exit. I strode over to him and caught him before he could freak out more. I cupped his cheeks and smiled, tilting my head to the side.
“He should be busy for the next few hours. He has a lecture he gives every year. I just kinda forgot.” I tried to give my best “please forgive me for panicking” smile.
“Forgot?! Forgot your big scary dad was coming to campus?” He said in a panic, but his mischievous grin never left his face. “Jesus, he was huge. He could squish me like a bug and make me disappear.” He joked, and I squeezed my fingers on his face.
“I wouldn’t let him. He may seem like a big scary man, but he’s a harmless teddy bear. I promise.” His hands wrapped around my waist as he stared into my eyes like he couldn’t quite tell what to say.
“Let’s make breakfast?” I asked, raising a brow. He blew a breath from his lips, as if all the anxiety hiding inside him went away with that breath.
“Let’s make breakfast.” He confirmed with apprehension, after kissing my cheek.
He directed me around the kitchen with kindness. Standing behind me every step of the way. Helping me crack eggs against a bowl only to drop every inch of the hard shell in. We laughed as we threw it out and he made me start over again. Finally, after the 6th egg, I got the hang of it and by the 12th egg, I was an egg-cracking pro. He taught me to whisk the eggs to break the yolks and then we greased the pans with a sliver of butter. So I was right in my thoughts of greasing it! We even cooked some bacon on a separate skillet and I yelped every time the damn grease splattered me. But it was good. He was patient with me and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed every second of his company. I for once wasn’t in a hurry for him to leave.
“So—what will you teach me to cook next?” I asked with a grin, shoving eggs into my mouth. I moaned my approval as he watched me.
“Everything, Cals.” He said with a lop-sided grin. I reached up and took his hand in mine and gently squeezed.
“Thank you,” I whispered, as he picked up my hand and kissed my knuckles. Like he knew I wasn’t just thanking him for the cooking lesson. He knew I was thanking him for everything he had done for me in the past 24 hours. He had held me close for comfort and taught me how to cook.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked down as his face exploded into more contagious grins. He leaned over the table and kissed my cheek as he stood up.
“Sorry, Cals, the guys just texted me.” He turned the phone around and showed me a picture. In the picture there stood a proud, blonde woman smiling with a few of the frat guys wrapping their arms around her in a joking manner. Their fingers all pointed at her as they smiled with goofy grins.
“We got your mom here, better hurry back from Callie’s before we tell her your secrets.” The text said, and I laughed as I looked at her.
She looked short compared to the muscles around her but she had the same bright smile as Dex. Lighting up the room, she stood in with a simple lip twitch, bringing peace and comfort around her. Just like Dex. Her long blonde hair flowed in curls over her chest and she looked beautiful in a long-sleeved grey dress. Her green eyes stared into the camera with such poise, I wanted to meet her.
“Surprise visit?” I asked looking up at him as he took his plate to the sink.
“She likes to surprise me sometimes. She can only make it out here a few times a year.” He said still smiling.
“Are you guys close?” I asked standing up to put my plate into the sink.
He scratched the back of his neck. “Is it weird she’s kind of my best friend?” He asked with a shrug and I shook my head.
“Nahhh—not weird. It’s nice. If you can’t be close to the person who gave you life, then what’s the point?” He smiled again and nodded as he collected his things.
“I’m not sure how long she’ll be in town for. So I’ll text you?” He asked with his hand on the knob. His body vibrated with excitement. It leaked from his pores and spread to me. Making a contagious smile cross my lips.
“Go! Go spend time with your mom before they spill all your dirty little secrets!” I grinned, shooing him with my hands and he opened the door.
“Bye, Cals, I’ll see ya later.” He said with a wave and then my apartment fell into silence.
As his presence left my building, it felt like a sliver of me left too. Like he had taken a piece of my soul--my secrets with him as he strode across campus. Buried in the back of his mind for only him to know. I smiled with relief at the thought. If it had been anyone else to listen to me, to take the chance and try to help me--- I couldn’t picture anyone else. No one besides the shaggy-haired, doe-eyed boy who had pulled me from the brink of tears. No one but the boy who had rubbed my back and expected nothing. Nothing in return. I didn’t know what he and I were. Did I want a label? Did I want other girls to get close to him? In my mind---no.
I ran a hand down my face and groaned into my palms. I broke my own boundaries and now I felt as confused as ever. I could never take back what I said. He could never unhear it. But between the confusion and worry, it was ok. I knew he was genuine, and I felt at ease for only a moment. My next worry was the man parading around campus covered in tattoos about to give a speech about his vulnerabilities.
I needed to be there for him too and I would. My next stop? The auditorium to watch my father do something he loves.
●●●●●●●●●●
I don't normally do "filler" chapter, but what the hell. I'll be different today. And the next chapter?
Oh boy......! C.J. comes to town....it'll be interesting and it'll start to get a wee bit dark.
Happy Friday. ❤