She's not me
~Zara Larsson
She doesn't love you like I do.
She doesn't have my name.
However she tries to act like it.
She'll never be the same
But she's new and she's beautiful.
You've never been in a fight.
Yeah it's awfully perfect now.
But you just know deep inside.
She's not me!
Does she make you feel wanted
like I did ?
Make you feel like
you're the one thing that matters .
You let her head rest on your chest.
But when you close your eyes,
You'll be seeing my face again.
I'll be crossing your mind.
You'll be dreaming of places we went
And then you'll wake up to find,
That she's not me
Remember
That she's not me!
Said I wonder now,
Yeah I wonder how you've been?
Are you happy?
Is she still the one?
Are you having fun?
Is it for real?
Baby!
'Cause I'll be waiting here,
Another week, or month or year?
If you're lonely.
God I wish I knew everything,
About the two of you.
Won't you tell me?
Does she have any humor?
Does she laugh at your jokes?
Can she look past the rumors?
Does she know how it goes?
Do you go to the movies?
Do you make out in the park?
Do you stay up for hours?
And just talk and talk?
Does she know about the bracelets?
There were two of a kind.
Did you save did you save it?
Like I did mine.
Would it make any difference
If I got you alone?
If I called would you listen?
Would you hang up the phone?
Or is it none of my business?
-♡-
Chapter 31 : HNY
ISABELLA'S POV
I spot Ro dancing with a group of
our old friends,
Riley with her 'new' boyfriend and Day with her's as well .
Can someone play 'Modern Loneliness' by Lauv right now ?
I decide to go and talk to Miles .
We used to talk but it was just 'Hi's and hello's' .
I mean we never got beyond that .
I would have talked but I was way too shy and I could figure out he was not interested so why bother .
And anyways it was just a attraction .
" Miles Spelling ?" I exclaim when I pass by him.
Believe it or not , that's an actual surname !
I act like I saw him suddenly and like I wasn't looking at him for the last few minutes recalling the past .
"Isabella Winston ??" He says and smiles at me
' He smiled !! '
I would have said so if this would have happened in middle school
but now I was like ,
he at least remembers me , good enough !
" It's good to see you " I say
" What? I can't hear you?" He yells and leans closer
" I said it's nice to meet you"
" You too , by the way where's your boyfriend ?"
" My boyfriend?"
" Royal?"
" He's not my boyfriend "
" So you guys haven't passed the best friend stage yet?"
I nod .
" Let's dance ?" I ask and change the subject
Please say 'no' , I dont want to dance right now , especially when my back's paining!
" Sure " he says and holds my hand .
We walk to the stage where in my friends are already dancing their heart out .
Great , just great !
His one hand is on my shoulder and the other on my back , but instead of feeling good or whatever , I feel kinda hesitant .
" Miles! " A girl says
" Yaa babe " he turns towards her and kisses her on her cheeks
" Isabella this is my girlfriend Lucy, and Lucy , this is my old friend Isabella"
" Hi " She says
" Hey "
" Would you excuse us ?", she asks politely
" Yaa " I say
Looking at her , she doesn't look more than 15 , I wondered what he meant by old friend?
As in 'old friend' or 'old' friend ?
I decided to relax for a while so I sat at the counter and ordered a lemonade for myself while checking my Instagram feed .
It's official , I'm a loner .
Actually not , I already met my old friends and after that everyone got busy with themselves .
I complemented Royal's look . He was looking really very h-a-n-d-s-o-m-e ! He thanked me , but didn't say anything about how I looked .
I wasn't expecting anything extra ordinary but ' you look nice' would have sufficed .
I open the unread messages , one is from Lucy where in she sent me a pic asking how does she look .
I reply ,
' Someone turn on the A/C , it's getting hot in here ' , to which she responds ,
' That's the point ' with a laughing emoji and a kissing emoji .
The next is from another friend whom I asked whether she was coming today or not but she replied in negative .
Last one is from Marvin , stating
" Happy New Year in advance " and a red heart emoji .
He also wrote,
'Just wanted to be the first one to wish' and a winking emoji .
I reply , ' hehe , thanks , same to you ' and a pink heart .
*fake cough*
" What?" I ask
His eyes are on my phone and then he says,
" Marvin, Miles , what's going on ?"
" What do you mean?"
" Flirting with Marvin , Dancing with Miles, what else would I mean?"
" It's nothing like that "
" Then what is it ?"
" Why don't you go back from where you came?"
Yeah that's my typical dialogue these days!
" I came from somewhere where I'd like to go back but for that I'll need my gf underneath "
" My ears just turned unholy!"
He chuckled at that while I pushed away my glass of lemon juice for which I suddenly lost the lust.
" So you got jealous because your crush's girlfriend showed up ?
And is that why you are sitting her all alone ?"
" First of all , 'ex-crush' ,
Second of all , I am not jealous ,
why would I even be ?
Third of all, I am not alone "
" Oh right . Hi 'AIR' , I am Royal Miller.
It is so nice to officially meet you ",
he says while looking beside me where apparently no one is there .
" Oh my God! That was so funny that I forgot to laugh " I said ,
my tone matching his tone full of sarcasm .
" Are you always this moody ? Or is today a special occasion?"
He has a right to say and I have a right to ignore and that's what I'm gonna do !
" I can't even go home because you are my ride and you siblings won't leave anytime soon "
" That's right ! Who even leaves early from a party like this ?"
" The one who's right in front of your eyes but you are way too ignorant to notice "
He just continues to stare at me ...
"Word of advice, try to stay away from me for a few days !" I say
"Oh , so it translates to ' stay with me, especially for these few days ' ",
he replies and understands my situation (:
" Just stay here while I make a call . And then we'll go home "
" Dude , Riley wants to enjoy . I can wait " I reply
" Dude , let Riley enjoy . I'll drop you off first and then I'll come back for her "
" Last time I checked I was the designated driver since you two freaks were about to drink as much as you want and as much as I hate "
" Well let's just say , a new year , a new resolution "
" That you'd stop drinking ?"
" Something like that "
" I heard something wrong!"
" Anything else ?" he chuckles
" When did you become so responsible? ?"
"Just now " he smiles cheekily which makes me smile too .
He exits the room.
I see the time and exactly 5 minutes are left for the clock to strike 12 !
I rush towards Day who's already searching for me in her half drunken state .
" 3 minutes to go!!" She shouts
I nod and her boyfriend smiles .
" 10 , 9 , 8 ,7 "
Where's Royal ? I want to wish him first!
" 3,2,1!"
" HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"
Just as I'm about to hug Daisy , she kisses Patrick .
' Boyfriend 2 Bestfriend 0 '
I roll my eyes .
Then she hugs me too .
Thank you!
I see Riley and wish her too .
I go and look over for Ro but I can't seem to find him .
I end up calling my parents and wishing them .
I also text my new friends on our whatsapp group named,
'Poopy peeps' with a shit emoji .
Then I step outside and finally see Ro , he's back is towards me .
I was about to go and hug him from behind to wish him but he's busy talking to someone .
" I miss you too darling "
Darling ?
I cringe.
" Once again, Happy New Year Jess " he says over the phone
Just like that , I turn around and head inside the venue yet again .
I don't even know why am I disappointed .
Maybe because when we were kids ,
we promised each other that bffs first and then our partners !
Or maybe I'm jealous !
I should be happy for him that he found someone he really likes.
I mean he wanted to wish Jessica first that's why he called her at the right time.
I don't know if she feels the same or not or is it just her attraction towards him because Royal seems perfect .
But he has his own flaws and I'm glad he's improving himself .
I greet my friends once again and let them know that I am leaving .
" Why are you going so early ?"
" Cramps"
" So I was right all along! You are Bloody Mary !" She chirps
She's clearly drunk !
" You are gonna book Cab , right ?" I ask
" Yaa , me and Patty will be leaving together, don't you worry Miss Bloody Mary"
" Okay then . Take care "
" Don't worry . I'm there " Patrick says and I nod.
After that , I go outside but Ro's nowhere in sight.
I call him but be doesnt pick it up
So I look around in vain .
Finally I stand by the door waiting for him to show up.
" What's a pretty lady like you doing here all alone ?" A guy asks
" Where?" I ask back
"Huh?" He asks back , clearly not getting the point .
" The pretty lady is way too oblivious to realize she's pretty " ,
I hear Ro's voice from behind
" Oh . You are taken " , the stranger says and goes back inside .
What does he mean ? Am I a thing to be taken !
" He thought I am your boyfriend "
" He needs specs "
" Yaa , he can't just match me with anyone " Ro says with his usual mocking tone
" Oh is it ? You know what , you can enjoy this so called party and I'll go home by myself "
" Okay " he says and turns around .
Is he for real?!
" ugh !" I groan and then stam my feet !
After that I walk forward and see cabs passing by but no one seems to wait for me .
Mr Miller's car appears and I ignore the person who's driving it .
He starts honking at me .
" What is your problem?" He shouts
" ARE! "
" What?"
" What 'ARE' my Problems ? You should ask that at this point "
" Drama queen, just sit in the car "
" Now I don't want to sit , you shit!"
He gets off his car and holds my hand .
He starts walking to the other side of the car with me right behind him .
He opens the door and pushes me inside , gently might I add .
He closes the door and sits on the driver seat , while playing some music .
' You don't know ' by Katelyn Tarver starts playing and I change the station immediately.
No offense , but it's kinda depressing and a great song too but my mood is not so great to bare it .
Till then , Ro had stopped the car because the signal turned red .
Next ' She's not me' by Zara Larsson is on ! Me and Ro look at each other , then look away .
I bit my lip and try to explain myself that it's just mood swings I'm dealing with .
Thankfully , 'Hello my love ' by Westlife plays and I'm more than happy now .
I immediately start singing , ignoring the fact that me and Royal haven't spoken much .
"My ears are bleeding!" He exaggerates
"Good for you " I say and start singing again
He sends a glare in my direction and then looks ahead , concentrating on his driving.
I lay my head back , close my eyes and enjoy the song .
-♡-
How was this one?
So good so far? ( :
Or not :(
Word count- 2075
Posted on - 30th March ,2020
It's been 3 months since
I published this story ♡