NOW
-english-
I hope I can smile someday. Someday after the darkness fades away: When the sun will dry my tears and people can lend their ears.
Look up high to see the light. It'll make everything seems alright.
That feeling of getting tired, exhausted of every single thing. I want to give my best but end up giving up easily. I just wished I can turn my dreams into reality.
Everytime I feel that I'm not enough in many things, I'd just lose my strength and drop my legs.
Everyday, I'm comforting myself by saying, "Everything's fine," but end up not believing that it'll help.
Scared that I'll lose and everything will fall down. I'm trembling while everybody's looking with fun.
With how they look with judgements, I'll just need to run. Escaping every possible way is the best choice for me. Yet, there is something pulling me back to not to continue.
I know I can't do it but a part in my mind says I can.
Doubting any circumstances, I am just staying in my comfort place without trying new single things. Now, I don't know how longer I can hold it out. I'm tired of waiting for someone to have that task for me.
I am tired looking everywhere where everyone has their own success in life.
I'm tired of being selfish to envy others without valid reason. I'm tired comparing everyone to myself and lose just because I'm not good enough.
Now, I will live.
Although the night is long, the sun will rise up and someday my reluctant heart will get well. It will come.
I hope it helps me now. I hope myself will overcome the fear of lacking confidence. Because at this moment, the only progress that I have is in myself.