I wake up in Nick's arms, our legs tangled together. I blink as my eyes adjust to the light and I check the time on my alarm clock. 10.37. I'm usually up at six to go running, but as I'm nursing a slight hangover, I might just skip today.
I slowly untangle myself from Nick as not to wake him, and tip toe to my closet. I pull on my light pink silk pajama shorts and a matching top and make my way downstairs.
As I enter the kitchen I stop in my tracks, an unfamiliar brunette sitting at our kitchen island drinking coffee. She's tall and skinny, like a model.
"Uh, hey," I wave, getting her attention. She turns to me and smiles. Wow, such a pretty smile. She's gorgeous. I pull my fingers through my hair, feeling self-conscious of the tangles in it.
"Hi," she smiles. "I'm with Landon," she explains. "He just went to change his clothes. I'm Dana, by the way."
"Oh, alright," I start rummaging through a cabinet for Advil. "Avery," I say over my shoulder.
"Oh, yeah," recognition flashes in her eyes. "You're the best friend's little sister."
"That's me," I force a smile and down the pill with water. "Well, I'm just gonna..." I indicate toward the door and make my exit. That wasn't awkward at all. I've just reached the upstairs landing when Landon comes out of his room, wearing jeans and a gray long-sleeve that hugs his muscled chest.
"Your one-night stand's delightful," I point my finger over my shoulder. This isn't the first time he's brought home girls but I haven't really small-talked with most of them in the mornings. They usually just leave after the deed or at least early enough for them to be gone by the time I wake up. Not that I haven't brought home guys myself in the past; I have, a few. But I've always had the courtesy of kicking them out before the others have seen them.
He cocks his brow. "And how do you know she's just a one time fuck?"
I roll my eyes. "Because that's all you do." He has never had a serious girlfriend. He's dated, yeah, but nothing that's lasted more than a few weeks. I think he gets bored easily.
"That's not all I do," he counters, stepping past me to the stairs. "I might just fuck this one twice. Oh, wait, never mind, already did," he smirks and winks at the expression on my face, before disappearing from my sight. O-o-kay then.
I push my bedroom door open and find Nick still sleeping, so I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, my breath smelling like booze. I think about going back down to get some coffee but decide against the idea as I don't want to run into Landon and his model friend doing who knows what. So instead, I climb back into bed and snuggle against Nick's side.
His arm goes around my shoulders and I look up to find him smiling at me sleepily.
"Morning, sleepyhead," I kiss him on the cheek.
"Good morning, beautiful," he kisses my forehead, and his arm tightens around me, pulling me closer.
"Did you sleep well?" I get up on one elbow to see his face. He's kind of cute all sleepy, his light hair an adorable mess.
"Never better," he smiles and looks at me his eyes full of adoration. My cheeks redden as he holds my stare. "I love you."
I freeze. Oh no. I gulp, terror building up in my stomach. What do I say? What do I say? "Umm..." I'm at a loss for words. Say something, you dummy! "Okay."
I inwardly facepalm myself. 'Okay'? Anything would've been better than 'okay'!
I can see the hurt in Nick's face as he looks away and sits up, scooting away from me. I don't blame him. I close my eyes, afraid of his response.
"Okay?" he repeats almost angry now.
"Umm..." I open my mouth and close it. Open it again. Close it. Open. Close.
He gets up and starts pulling his clothes on. "Great, you don't love me back. Do you even like me?"
"I... what?" I finally find my voice. "Of course I like you!" I stumble to him, trying to make him look at me. He won't. "I just..."
"You just don't love me," he finishes for me and I feel a heavy lump in my throat. "I don't think I can do this."
"I... we've been together for only five months," I try, biting my lip. "Just give me some time." I don't want to lose him. I'll try. I'll fall in love with him in time, I'm sure of it. Why wouldn't I? He's a great guy, a great boyfriend.
He sighs, scratching his neck and looking at anywhere but me. "I don't know, Avery."
"Please," I plead, touching his cheek with my hand to make him look at me in the eyes. "I just need more time. Please." I can see the blue in his eyes softening as they search mine.
"Fine," he eventually says. "But I need some space right now," he says, removing my hand from his face and heading out the door, almost slamming it after him.
I stare at the closed door for I don't even know how long, just standing there waiting for him to come back. But he's not going to. I know I really hurt him. But I couldn't just lie to him, I won't. I sigh, my shoulders lumping as I turn around and crawl back into bed and under the covers. Why me?
---
I hear a soft knock on the door not an hour later, and yell a muffled "come in" from under the covers. The door opens and someone walks in.
"You okay?" Nate's voice asks. I pull back the covers and see him standing there holding a steaming mug of coffee, which he hands to me. "I saw Nick leaving. He seemed... upset."
"Thanks," I say as I sit up and take a sip. Ah, black, just like I love it. I can feel Nate's eyes on me, trying to detect what's wrong.
I avoid his eyes as I tell him, "He told me he loves me."
Understanding fills his eyes and he sits down next to me. "And you didn't say it back," he guesses.
I shake my head. "I couldn't."
"Well, everybody falls in love in their own time," he tells me, putting an arm around my shoulders and I lean into him. "Maybe you just need more time."
"That's what I told him."
"And?"
"I think he's willing to give me a chance," I say, remembering his words. "but he also said he needs some space. From me." I feel my throat tighten up but hold back the tears. I don't cry over boys, not anymore, not after mom and dad.
"That's understandable," he tells me and I nod. I know.
"I just wish I loved him," I look at the ceiling. "I don't know why its so hard for me."
"I know," he massages my back in small circles with his thumb, "I know." We sit like that for a long time, neither of us speaking. It' comforting to just know he's here for me.
---
"He'll come around" Riley pats my back. We're sitting around in the living room, and I've just told my girlfriends what happened. I know the guys are with Nick, getting the scoop from him.
"I'm not so sure," I sigh, hugging a pillow tight against my chest. "I hurt him pretty bad."
"Well, it's his fault if he doesn't understand," Miranda reasons, bumping my shoulder with hers. "I mean, it hasn't been that long since..." she leaves the sentence hanging.
Stella nods, her gray eyes sympathetic. "It would be hard or anyone in your situation to let someone in like that. It's not your fault you're not there yet with him."
"I guess," I agree half-heartedly. I just cant get the image of him looking betrayed out of my head. "But, whatever. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's do something fun."
"Ice-cream and a comedy?" Riley suggests.
We all nod and make our way to the kitchen. I dig out huge bowls and four big tubs of ice-cream from the freezer, and we all take big chunks of each flavor. Then we squirt chocolate sauce all over them. Yummy.
Nate and Landon come in when I'm putting the tubs away.
"So, a sugar-high in your plans for tonight?" Nate looks at our mountains of ice-cream amused.
"What else?" I grin, digging in a spoon and taking a taste of strawberry cheesecake. Ah, absolute heaven, I close my eyes.
"Someone's making their sex face" Landon laughs, and I peek at him.
"Yuck, what?" Nate pretends to gag.
I snort. "How would you know?" I ask the former.
"He doesn't. He just wishes he did" Stella giggles. I roll my eyes and push her lightly.
Nate covers his ears. "I don't want to hear!"
I chuckle. "Don't worry, brother, your disgusting pal isn't getting anywhere near me, ever."
Landon scoffs. "Like I'd want to."
"Sure you don't," I wink and push the girls out of the kitchen. I know he's never been interested in me like that but I do like messing with him. I would just love to hear what Nate's saying to his annoying friend right now.
My evening just got a whole lot better, I grin as I sit down on the couch.