"Travel does not exist without home....If we never return to the place we started, we would just be wandering, lost. Home is a reflecting surface, a place to measure our growth and enrich us after being infused with the outside world." Josh Gates, Destination Truth: Memoirs of a Monster Hunter
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XXX.
Eliza held her breath as the Atlantis approached the Plymouth dock. The landscape, which had once been so familiar to her, seemed strange and distant, though welcome.
Tom had regained back a conservable amount of his strength, and so he stood beside her as she watched the crew from the upper deck, throwing the mooring ropes down to the pier below.
"My house is about a mile and a half that way," Eliza told Tom, pointing in the right direction. "You can see the ocean from my window. In fact, if I were in my bedroom at this moment, if I squinted, I might see the crow's nest of this ship in the distance."
She knew that Tom's anxieties and worries about the differences between them had only increased as they drew closer to Plymouth.
Eliza understood his concerns, and his male pride. But there was a solution and there need not be any prolonged stress. She knew the characters of her parents better than anyone, and she was certain that her father would acquiesce to her request after thorough begging.
Eliza was confident that once this issue was settled, there could be nothing preventing them, and she hoped, she prayed, that their courtship, if that is what it could be called, could resume.
"Would you come with me?" she asked, turning to face him.
Tom met her eye, and she saw his hesitation. How she wished she could reassure him. He would only know it once he was acquainted with her parents.
"I cannot," he replied, shaking his head. "I have business, my job is not complete until my cargo is safely delivered. I must also see that Captain Frost is surrendered to the Navy." Taking a deep breath, he said, "But would you meet me back here?" Looking at the position of the sun, he added, "In about six hours, at five o'clock?"
Eliza realised that might have been a better plan. That would give her parents enough time to yell and then to calm down before she proposed her plan and introduced them to Tom.
"Do you need any money to see you home?" asked her quietly.
Eliza shook her head. "No, the walk will help to allay my sea legs," she joked.
But he didn't smile, and her heart sunk a little. Instead, he bent down and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering for a moment, before he released her. "Go home to your family," he said after a moment. "I will see you later."
Eliza nodded, shaking away any of her own anxiety. She turned her back and descended onto the lower deck, before walking down the ramp onto the pier.
The pier was the same as she had left it, filled with officers, Navy ships, and townspeople going about their business. Eliza certainly looked very out of place among the women. Seeing English finery once again made her truly appreciate just how much she had enjoyed donning breeches these last several months.
But she did not stay to observe long. She started off home with a purpose, rehearsing in her head what she would say to her parents when they met once more.
"Dearest Mama and Papa, if you had bid me marry that horrid parson, I would have set my wedding clothes on fire," she thought aloud as she walked. "I am so sorry Mama and Papa for disappointing you, but ..." Eliza trailed off. "I am so sorry, Mama and Papa," she settled on. There could be no excuses. She would have to endure the shouting if she had any hope of persuading them to her cause.
The grand Banes manor house came into view not too long later. Eliza's heart began to race, but an odd excitement was filling her. She began to run towards the gate and found it open when she pushed on the wrought iron. The gate squeaked, and she closed it behind her, before racing up to the front door.
She found that door unlocked as well and crossed the threshold with a gasp. It was so strange to be back, and the sight of what had been her normal for the last four years shocked her for a moment.
But not for long.
Her father would be safest, and Eliza could not wait to see him. She sprinted up the stairs, her newly developed strength and speed developed through months of labour assisting her to do so with ease.
At nearly midday on a Tuesday, her father would most certainly be in his study. Eliza ran to his study door, and stopped right outside, knocking three times.
"It's too early for luncheon, my love. I have a lot to get through at the minute," she heard her father call through the door.
Eliza's heart swelled as she heard his voice, and even a few tears filled her eyes. She ignored his dismissal and opened the door anyway. "You will not even stop to see me?" she asked as she entered the study.
Mr Banes was seated at his desk, spectacles on the end of his nose as he perused a pile of papers, quill in hand. His hair seemed more peppered with grey, and he looked a little thinner perhaps, but he was still her beloved father, and she wanted very much to fly into his arms.
At hearing the sound of Eliza's voice, Mr Banes looked up immediately, pulling his spectacles off and staring at her with wide, shocked eyes. "Eliza?" he asked, as though he could not trust what he was seeing.
"It is me, Papa. I am home," she breathed, and her tears began to fall.
Mr Banes all but threw his chair aside as he rushed around his desk to meet her. Eliza flew into her father's arms, and she hugged him as tightly as she could. The scent of him, the smell of peppermint from his tea, the smell of fresh parchment, and the faint smell of the cigars he indulged in, while pretending that his wife did not know, was all so familiar, and so much missed.
"Oh, my girl," he sobbed, and Eliza felt such a spike of pain as she heard her father cry for the very first time in her three and twenty years.
"I missed you so much, Papa," Eliza whispered, bending her head to kiss his prickly cheek.
She felt her father cup the back of her head, before placing both of his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, holding her at arm's length.
"What on God's green earth were you thinking?" he shouted in disbelief. "Do you have any idea what you have put your mother and me through since July?"
Eliza winced, and no matter how she tried to prepare herself, nobody could ever prepare themselves for facing the disappointment of a parent. "Papa, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I never meant to worry you!"
"Worry me?" he scoffed in disbelief.
Eliza did not think she had ever really seen her father angry. It was always her mother who was the disciplinarian. Her father had always been on her side.
"Elizabeth Louisa Banes, you have all but put me into an early grave!" he scolded harshly. "Until a week ago we had no idea where you were before Katy sent us word that she had received a letter from you! You could have been dead in a ditch for all we knew! You climb out of your bedroom window like a silly child with nought but a few lines of vague explanation." He shook Eliza. "What were you thinking?" he cried.
Eliza flinched with every accusation, and she knew that she deserved it all, though she most definitely had not anticipated the degree in which her parents would worry, and she knew that was foolish. She could see the lines on her dear father's face, the new grey in his hair, the weight that he had lost, all in thanks to the stress that she had put on him.
"Papa, I promise you it was never my intention to hurt you or Mother," she swore. "I wrote as soon as I could. I was suffocating, Papa! I could not breathe, and I was desperate for an out, a way to live my life before I resigned myself to whatever Mama would insist that I do, or who she would insist that I marry."
Mr Banes bit back a harsh reply, sucking in a breath. "You, my dear child, know that I would never force you into a marriage that you did not want. I would never give consent to any man who I knew would not make you happy. You abused my trust, the freedom that I have always given you."
Eliza saw the betrayal in her father's eyes, and her voice cracked. "Papa, I am sorry!" Gone were her initial plans to arrange an agreement between her father and Tom. All she could think of was earning the forgiveness or the one man who had always been on her side. "Please, forgive me," she begged. "It grieves me immensely to know that I have caused you pain, and I know I was selfish in leaving the way I did, but I knew you would have never let me go, no matter the freedom you always gave me." She took a breath. "I cannot regret what I did, though, Papa!" she implored. "What I did, where I've been, who I met, what I saw ... I feel as though I have grown, I have learned, I have ... I have fallen in love, Papa."
Her confession surprised her father, and his hands dropped from Eliza's shoulders. "Love?" he repeated. "You give your parents the worst months of their lives for a romance?"
Eliza felt as though she had been slapped in the face.
"Did you elope?" Mr Banes sounded almost fearful for her answer.
"No," replied Eliza. "I did not run away with him. I met him ... he is a captain on the merchant ship, Atlantis. Papa, I am so ashamed to have cause you and Mama pain, please understand me. I know you understand me, I know that you know my mind."
Her pleas seemed to soften Mr Banes a little. "Yes, I know your mind, Eliza," he said calmly, "and I know that you act first, before thinking of the consequences. And I know that is my fault for never checking your behaviour and undermining your poor mother as she tried to do so." He shook his head.
Eliza felt her heart break as she began to comprehend the gravity of her actions. They had felt so right, so justified, and she could never regret them. But it killed her to have hurt her dear father in such a way, and she could see it in his sad eyes that he felt a betrayal from her.
Eliza's lower lip trembled, and she willed herself not to cry. "I needed something, Papa. I felt the emptiness, the lack of purpose, the lack of experience in my very soul, and I knew if I stayed, if I did what I was supposed to do I would only decay from the inside out. I know I did wrong, and I can only apologise and hope that you can still love me anyway."
Mr Banes exhaled exasperatedly before he suddenly pulled Eliza back into his arms. Eliza reacted immediately in wrapping her arms around her father's waist.
"You know that nothing you can ever say or do will ever stop me from loving you, Eliza," he uttered.
"I love you, Papa, and I am so sorry," Eliza said again.
"No, you aren't," deduced Mr Banes. "But do not ever do that again. I would not survive it."
"I won't, Papa," she promised. Eliza "Where is Mother?"
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door, and Mrs Banes entered the study.
"George, I could have sworn –" Mrs Banes gasped seeing Eliza standing in the study. She clapped her hands to her mouth as she burst into tears. "Eliza!" she sobbed. "Oh my God, Eliza!" She threw open her arms and seized Eliza so quickly that she pulled them both to the ground.
Eliza might not have been a little girl any longer, but there was still something so comforting about being held by one's mother. "Oh, Mama!" she cried.
"Where have you been?" Mrs Banes all but screamed as she squeezed Eliza tightly.
Her mother had changed in similar ways to her father. There were more grey strands in her hair, though Mrs Banes could make anything look elegant. She looked thinner too, and there was a new worry line in between her eyebrows.
"Mama, I am sorry I worried you," Eliza began.
"Worried me?" Mrs Banes exclaimed. "Icy roads worry me, Eliza. What you put me through could not be called anything other than torture!"
"Mother, I'm sorry!" Eliza insisted. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I told Papa why I needed to go away. I could not be what you wanted, Mama. I could not marry and reproduce and be a perfect society wife like Katy!"
Mrs Banes cupped Eliza's face. "I never expected you to be Katy!" she insisted, and it was as if they had resumed an argument from nearly five months ago. Mrs Banes seemed to realise it. "Where have you been?" she asked again. "I can see that you have been out of doors, and Katy's letter arrived from the British Virgin Islands, wherever that is. You are very brown, and your face is dotted with freckles." Mrs Banes then took note of Eliza's appearance and her eyes widened. "And what on earth are you wearing?" she gasped. "Breeches?" She felt down Eliza's back. "And where is your corset?"
Taking a deep breath, Eliza began. "I stowed away on the merchant ship, Atlantis. It was docked in Plymouth that day Katy and I took the girls down to see the ships all those months ago. I heard that they were departing that evening and I took it as a sign, really. I snuck on board."
Her tale flowed out of her naturally, and her parents listened in disbelief, as they were all seated on Mr Banes' study floor.
Eliza told her parents of stowing away in a barrel of rum, of her seasickness, and her discovery. She told them of her punishment in cleaning the ship's head, before she took up the job of deck hand.
She told them about the sailors, about Jackie, Cian and Diarmuid, Echo and Jonesy, Cookie and Eggs, and even Zacky. She described the céilí dances and how she became friends with each sailor on board.
She frightened them with the story of the pirates boarding the ship, only so she could later use it as an example of Tom's heroism and care.
She described the beautiful Caribbean vividly, and talked of the charming people, the breathtaking sights, and the delicious, if not lethal, flavoursome food.
And then she talked of Tom. She had already told her father that she had fallen in love, and it had now become very obvious to her mother as well.
"He was very harsh at first," she explained. "Very angry, and he always seemed to be in a bad mood. I managed to get on his last nerve quite a bit as I often do. But he put my safety first, from the very beginning, even though I had stowed away. He gave up his cabin for me, ensuring that I slept in isolation from the other sailors. He constantly watched out for me, and he was solely responsible for keeping me safe when the pirates boarded the ship."
Her heart warmed at the memory of Tom racing up to the crow's nest to retrieve her, no matter how frightened she had been in that moment.
"And we started to get to know each other. I told him all about you two, and Katy, and Harry, and the girls. I told him how much I loved you all, and how I craved adventure before I settled into what was expected of me. And when we reached Jamaica, he revealed his past to me as well."
Eliza deliberately chose not to reveal that they had been swimming together in various states of undress at this time.
"It is not my place to tell you what happened ... he has not given me permission to disclose it but let me tell you that his character is more than exemplary because of it," she insisted. "The same pirates attacked us on our journey home, and once again Tom protected me, and he protected his crew. He defended me and was nearly killed because of it. I nursed him back to health." Taking a much-needed breath, she concluded, "He kept me out of trouble. He kept me safe. He protected me with his life. I am alive because of him. And somewhere in and amongst our adventure, we fell in love with each other."
Mr Banes stared, while Mrs Banes whimpered, "Pirates?"
Eliza knew her tale was unbelievable, and she knew it was an incredible amount of information for her parents to suddenly comprehend.
But she could not stop.
"I am dreadfully sorry for hurting you both," she said sincerely. "I love you both tremendously, and I know how lucky I am to have parents who love me as well as you do. But I am not sorry for leaving, for seeking experiences and adventures that I could never have imagined. I know I must face the consequences, and I will face them, but I will face them with Tom," she said with determination. "I want to marry him. I never imagined that I could ever marry someone that I could love. I always thought my inevitable husband would be someone old, rich and boring. I feel lucky to have met Tom, and I know that he loves me."
Even if he had not stated so explicitly.
"He wishes me to meet him later today, after he has concluded his business in Plymouth. I think ... I think he might propose to me," Eliza theorised excitedly. She hoped he would, or at least declare his love, and they might work out together how they could afford to be married. "And then I would like to introduce him to you both, if I may."
This was a shock. She knew it. Now was not the time to ask her father to do business with Tom. That could come later.
Her parents then looked at each other, as though they were having a silent exchange before her eyes that she was not privy to.
Mr Banes put his arm comfortingly around Mrs Banes and she rested her head on his shoulder, an exhausted, exasperated expression upon her face.
"I honestly do not know what to say, Eliza," Mrs Banes managed to say. "I have spent the last four and a half months thinking you could be dead, and I would never learn what had happened to the child I had birthed and raised. What did I do wrong?
"Both of them," she realised, turning her head up towards Mr Banes. "Both of the girls have behaved deceitfully, Eliza obviously a lot more gravely then Katy ever was, but both of them could not come to me."
"Come to us, my dear," he corrected. "I am equally to blame."
"Mama, you did not do anything wrong," insisted Eliza. "You wanted for me what every mother wants for her daughter. And I should want that, too. There is obviously something different about me. I needed something different. But I found it, and I am home, and I am happy!"
Eliza crawled across the floor, and wrapped her arms around them both, settling her head between them.
"I love you, and I pray you will love him, too, as you love Harry," she whispered quietly.
"If you leave to meet this man and do not come back, we shall disinherit you," threatened Mrs Banes as she kissed Eliza's cheek. "And you shall never leave this house looking like you do again. Your hair looks like a fine place for a bird to lay its eggs."
Eliza laughed as she pulled away. "Will you help me, Mama? I might be getting engaged in a few hours."
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............ that's all ;)
Okay, so I am back at work on Tuesday! Summer is officially over boo hoo! But I'm excited to see all my kids again!
But because I'm back at work updates will not be as frequent. I'm not going to reveal how many chapter are left because I still have stuff planned ... but just bear with me.
Vote and comment xxx