Chapter 29 - A True Romantic
Kelly's mouth was a straight line and her eyes were glancing back and forth from me to Kala. She took one look at my face, though, and her expression softened with concern.
"What's wrong?" she asked, taking my hand. I looked at her hand in mine. Apparently she forgot we were supposed to be secretive. I smiled at her.
"Come on, let's dance the last couple of dances and I'll tell you."
They usually ended the dances with three or four slow songs in a row. Since there were about fifteen minutes left, I guessed they had just started the first one. We took our place on the dance floor, and I put my arms on Kelly's bare shoulders. She put her arms around my torso, so her hands were on my bare back. There was a lot of skin-to-skin contact for a public arena. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little rush out of that. "My date's hotter than yours is," I thought as loudly as I could at the crowd swaying around us.
"Were you and Kala fighting?" Kelly asked, bringing me back to the moment.
"Yeah. I was being stupid and caused fights with both Kristy and Kala. It's okay now. I begged them both to forgive me. They did."
"What was it all about?"
"It all started when Kristy said...Kelly? Can I ask you something?"
"Why? Was it about me?" She looked at me with wide eyes and her lips parted slightly.
"No. Well, sort of. I'll explain, I promise."
"Okay," she said hesitantly.
"It's nothing bad, I swear. You know how people say some girls have 'daddy issues'?"
"Yeah."
"Do you think...and I wasn't wondering this, someone else was...do you think you could have...'mommy issues?' Because, and this was just a thought somebody else had, maybe since you wanted so badly to get along with your mom, that maybe you liked me because I'm older, kind of acted like a mom when you first met me...I'm not saying this very well. Let me start again."
"No, it's okay. I see what you're saying." Kelly looked thoughtful for a moment. "Huh, I dunno, maybe," she looked at me nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders.
That was definitely not one of the reactions I had prepared for. I thought maybe she'd be angry, insulted, sad...anything but blasé.
"You mean, you think it's possible?" I felt my chest tighten up. I'd been through so many strong, negative emotions in the last forty-five minutes or so, I couldn't handle my girlfriend telling me she just might only be interested in me as a 'mommy' replacement. Kelly looked confused by the strong reaction that was written on my face.
"Ani, every time I look at you, I feel like I'm learning new things about myself, and I love that. You make me feel all sorts of things. Maybe I'm just older now, so I'm able to think and feel a little more deeply. Maybe I've been hurt before, so I pay more attention to my feelings. I don't have a clue. But what I do know, is that you are so smart, so beautiful, so caring, and so passionate, that I want very badly to be the perfect girl for you. Maybe some small part of me feels like it needs my mom's approval, and I'm trying to substitute yours. I don't know. If that's true, though, it's just a small part, and I would want your approval anyway."
Kelly saw that she had me smiling again, and that made her smile. She continued, "So, if someone who knows me thinks I might have 'mommy issues,' then I should think about that, right? I mean, I'm trying to make sure I don't do things for the wrong reasons anymore, and that would be a good thing to know about myself. After all, the unexamined life is not worth living, right?"
I looked at Kelly in disbelief. "Did my girlfriend just quote Socrates?"
Kelly's smile now showed teeth it was so wide. "I believe your girlfriend just quoted Aristotle quoting Socrates," she said proudly.
"My girlfriend is so freaking smart. That's so hot."
She giggled, bit her lower lip, and put her head on my chest. When she looked back up, we both became aware at the same time just how friendly we were being, and looked around to see if anyone was paying attention as we put more distance between us. A few people were, but didn't seem to be thinking too much about it.
We enjoyed the last couple of songs by staring into each other's eyes. I started running my fingers along the back of her neck, which I discovered tickled her. So, of course, I did it even more. She retaliated by pinching my sides, where I'm very ticklish, making me scream at one point. By the end of the last song, when the lights went on, we were both laughing so hard that I had mostly forgotten the tempestuousness of the last hour.
We met up with our group at the lockers, gathered our things, and walked together down the hall to the front doors. On the way, I walked close to Darian.
"Darian?" I said sternly.
"Yes, Analee?" he looked up at me and raised his eyebrows. I gave him an appraising stare for a few steps.
"My sister has good taste in men, I think," I gave him a smile and a shoulder bump.
"Thanks, Analee."
"So, are you dropping Kristy off first, or were you planning to drop DJ and Josh off first so you can go parking with my sister?"
The poor boy just about choked and his eyes grew huge. Kristy was walking next to him. She put her arm through his and leaned in front of him to talk to me.
"Before Darian answers your question, how about we discuss where you will be taking Kelly afterwards?"
I looked at her hard for a few seconds. She knew we were playing, but poor Darian didn't. I turned to him.
"Just remember, my sister is a young lady, not some plaything, young man." If he could have gone pale, I'm pretty sure he would have. Kristy pulled him away from me.
We got to the front door where Tara and Kala were waiting with the other chaperones to see everyone off. I separated from the group to give them hugs. I wasn't sure how Kala was feeling at first, but when she hugged me, it felt like all was forgiven, and she was as glad as I was that the fight was over.
Tara asked quietly, so the other chaperones couldn't hear, "After party at Kala's?"
"I doubt Kala really wants a girl she's coaching to party with her, Tara. That would be awkward!"
"I mean after you ditch the munchkins, silly! Your little sister and her friends aren't invited!"
"Oh crap! That's right," I thought. "Tara doesn't know Kelly and I are dating!"
"I understand," Kala rescued me. "This is the last homecoming night Analee will get to spend with her sister. You'll just have to come up some weekend and we'll have a real party, Tara."
Kala gave me a wink and another hug. I whispered, "Thanks," in her ear.
DJ, Shogun, and Kristy started talking to Tara, so Kala took the opportunity to say softly, "If you do need to drop someone off early, though, feel free to sneak over for a few drinks and some girl talk."
"Hopefully I'll be out a little late tonight," I said with a smirk and a wink. Kala just deadpanned for a second.
"Have fun, Analee." She didn't smile when she said it.
"Are we okay?" I asked. She gave me a small smile that looked forced.
"Yeah. We're good. Seriously, have fun." Tara was done talking, so Kala took her arm and guided her away with a small wave in my direction and a long look at Kelly, who had come up beside me.
We walked out to the cars, said our goodbyes, and divided up into our smaller groups. Before everyone got into the cars, I went over and gave Mey a big hug.
"Thanks again," I said.
"You're welcome. Thank you, Analee."
"Anytime, Meyflower."
As I walked back to the Jeep, the eyes of all the girls were on us. They knew there had always been tension between Mey and I, and now they were thoroughly confused. "That's okay," I thought. "It's good to confuse people now and again."
As I drove Pixie and Rizzy back to Rizzy's house, where Pixie was spending the night, we performed the typical high school ritual of telling each other what happened at the dance we were all just at, replaying the evening. Who made a fool out of themselves, what couples had fights, what people got together, what song should have been played but wasn't, who had an ugly dress, who dances funny... I suppose that's how we cement experiences into our collective consciousness and celebrate having lived them together.
We dropped Rizzy and Pixie off, and they both gave us a knowing smirk as they said goodbye.
"That's kind of embarrassing," said Kelly. She was blushing.
"Yes it is. Why do they just assume we're going to be fooling around?"
"Well..." Kelly said sheepishly, "I might have bragged about parking with you before."
"What? Seriously?" I was both flattered and horrified.
Kelly laughed at me. "We were talking one time, and Shogun told us she finally had sex with Peter, and-"
"Wow, I figured they would have a while ago. They've been going out for over a year."
"I know, right? Anyway, apparently I'm the only other one in the group that's gone all the way. That made me feel kind of bad, because obviously I hadn't been going out with someone for a year like Shogun. DJ tried to console me, I think, by talking about guys she's done some stuff with, and she considered them mistakes. Honestly, it sounded more like bragging than a confession, though. You know how DJ talks. Then, they started asking about you, and...come on, how could I not brag about making out with the hottest girl I've ever met?"
I glanced at her to see her expression. I thought, "She really thinks that, or she's a darn good liar."
I pulled onto a dirt road that led to a hunting camp belonging to a guy my dad used to work with. He didn't live around here anymore, so the camp was only occupied a couple weeks out of the year. I parked the Jeep in the little turn-around area the owner had carved into the woods by the gate to his driveway and turned off the engine. I left the radio playing softly, and we both unbuckled.
"So, what exactly did you tell them? I want to know how embarrassed I should be."
Kelly gave me a look of faux indignation. "Huh! And why would you be embarrassed about making out with me?"
"Because...I'm the one who's seventeen, but it's always me that stops us from going further," I said honestly. "I worry sometimes that you'll think I'm silly. Or maybe you'll think I'm not turned on by you, because, believe me, I am."
She stared at me with a soft smile for a second, then said, "Come in the back seat with me. I want to sit closer to you." We both got out of the Jeep to get in the backseat. She cuddled into me as I put my arm around her.
"Ani, I'm ready for anything as soon as you are, but I don't want you to think I'm in a hurry for stuff to happen. I mean, I can't wait for stuff to happen, but...no wait. I said that wrong. I would love for stuff to happen, but I also kind of love that stuff isn't happening. Crap! I wish I was as good with words as you are." She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "Don't you feel like, after we made it official that we were girlfriends, we both sort of calmed down and paid more attention to our relationship?"
"Yeah. I know exactly what you mean."
"I can just tell that when you love someone, it's going to be completely unconditional. Some girl is going to get your heart someday, and she's going to be the luckiest girl in the world. You're a true romantic, and you won't give up on true love, ever. I can see that in you. I know it's still really early in our relationship, but I can't help but hope that I'm going to be that girl. Every time I think about how you and I are building something together, the right way, it makes me so happy. When...other stuff, is part of our relationship, it's just going to be that much more amazing. So, move at whatever speed you want to. My grandma always says there's no need to drive fast if you're enjoying the trip."
I gave Kelly a lingering kiss on the lips. "That was amazing." Her face showed true happiness. "Speaking of your grandma, it still feels so weird thinking that I'm dating Nurse Annie's granddaughter."
Kelly crinkled her nose and bit her bottom lip. Then she proceeded to prove to me that no matter how amazing it felt to kiss her, it really could feel better every time.