one month.
i've counted the days since I first saw ashton. thirty-one days, two hours, and eighteen minutes.
I don't know what it is about him that intrigues me so much. he just seems mysterious, an enigma I feel the need to figure out. I wish we could be friends.
yet I still can't even say hi to him.
________
never did I think I'd be this nervous next to him.
our science teacher gave us a partnered assignment to complete within the next two days. a presentation about mental disorders.
I chose to work with ashton. our teacher was nice enough to let us choose partners and immediately ashton came into mind.
walking over to him, I could feel a weight in my chest. not just a four-pound weight though, I felt an entire elephant sitting on my chest. I was beyond nervous and I didn't even know why.
to say ashton was surprised when I walked up to him was an understatement. his eyes went wide and his lips parted slightly in awe as I towered over him.
"do you want to, uh, work together?" I mumbled. his beautiful hazel eyes scanned my icy blue ones. he gave me a skeptical look and the bottomless pit in my stomach grew, sucking everything inside me leaving nothing behind.
"it's fine if you don't I mean you don't even know me and it would be strange if-" ashton cut me off by placing his hand on mine. he nodded with a calmer face than i've ever seen him have, but it soon went back to his usual blank look. still not talking, I see.
it was a small gesture, yet it made my heart do a backflip.
seeing as we probably wouldn't get much work done, I asked him if we could go over to his house after school.
it took some convincing, but he agreed in the end.
+
i'm feeling really depressed right now tbh