Type Of Story: 1D
Author: Donteatmyfood1D
Story Rating: PG-13
Reads: 15,483
Votes: 309
Comments: 33
Description:
/ The look on her face changes from happy to sad in the space of seconds, i wonder if thats because of me? /
- in the process of editing -
SEQUEL 'Something Great' story/19226759-something-great-sequel-to-%27stole-my-heart%27
© Phoebe [donteatmyfood1D] 2013
Suggested If: you like makeup/breakup fanfics
My Review: The plot is cliche and was honestly super repetitive, like I got tired of Phoebe and Niall breaking/making up every hour. It almost reminded of the -shudders- train wreck known as After. Like, I knoe Niall didn't rape her or physically abuse her constantly, but it had the repetitiveness and the emotional/mental abuse that After has and it was almost like Niall was forcan't Phoebe to be with him. However, I DO like the fact that Phoebe was a ballerina-that was kinda cute xD. I like all of your varying chapter lengths, however, I do think you should combine all of the chapters that had "part two" to them. The part two thing just made some chapters feel choppy. Your grammar and spelling definitely isn't the worst in the world, but there are some things that could use some work-especially the capitalization of I and the mixup of your/you're and there/their/they're. I do love how descriptive you are with things though. Overall it's definitely not the best fanfic ever, BUT it was just your first fanfic and every story has potential! Besides, you completed it with a whooper 67 chapters! THAT takes dedication!
Note to Author: Do NOT feel discouraged by this review. I even feel like this review was a little harsh because the more chapters a story has, the easier it is to judge it, you know? But I do NOT want you to read this review and think that your writing and ideas are crappy. They are NOT, I just believe you need to develop them some more. Everyone has potential and NOBODY'S first fanfic is gonna be that great. Hell, I could link my first fanfic for you if you want xD it took me 4 or 5 tries to get a story I was actually proud of and it might take you more or less tries, who knows? Keep writing because you WILL get better eventually (:
Rating (1-5): 1.5
Other Notes: I'm sorry this review took so long, it's not every day I get asked to review a story that has nearly 70 chaters xD