it's acad break so I'm back. hello.
YOU
"Feelingero! Akala mo kung sino!" Sumalampak ako sa sofa at pinakulam sa isip ko si Ansel.
Naya laughed. She looked so amused. Habang ako rito ay sasabog na sa inis.
"Oh my gosh, Iana. I think that guy really likes you," she covered her mouth, looking so entertained.
Gagang 'to! Kinagagalak ba naman ang pagkamiserable ko!
"Are you for real?!" I glared at her. "Look, Naya. He just claimed me as the payment for my family's debt. Married me for what? He could have all the women in the city but he chose to settle with me? I don't know what game he's playing but I'm so full of him already."
"Yes, he married you. He chose you. And I can't blame him, Iana. You are a very beautiful woman. Madami kang manliligaw pero ni isa wala ka lang sinagot dahil diba... si Arco gusto mo?" Ngumiwi siya.
I covered my face. "Now he has the guts to order me around and tell me to not entertain any man while he is allowed to?!"
"Gaga ka! Kasasabi mo lang kanina na pinayagan mo siya na mambabae dahil wala kang pakialam tapos magrereklamo ka?! You could have told him na bawal rin siya!" Gigil na binato sa akin ni Naya ang unan na nadampot niya.
I groaned stressfully. "You know what, I don't care anymore! Bahala na siya sa buhay niya!" Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.
"Ang importante, hindi kayo kasal sa mata ng mga tao?" Naya raised a brow at me.
"Oo," matigas kong sagot. Tama naman diba? At least hindi ako pag-iinitan ng mga babaeng kinama niya at gusto siya. And I can hang out with Arco without paparazzis.
Hinatid niya ako kahapon. Nagmatigas ako pero hindi siya natinag. Siya pa 'yung galit akalain mo 'yun! Wala, edi sumama na ako. Parehas lang din naman kaming uuwi sa mansion niya. Labag man sa kalooban, sumabay na lang ako.
Napatingin ako sa phone ko nang tumunog 'yon.
From: Mr. Monterro
I'm not coming home tonight.
Dama ko ang pagbilis ng tibok ng kung anong organ sa dibdib ko. Huminga ako ng malalim at pinakalma ko ang sarili ko. Mapait akong ngumisi at nag-reply.
To: Mr. Monterro
Because you're sleeping with your woman? Noted, Mr. Monterro.
Akala ko ay hindi na siya magrereply pero nagulat ako nang makareceive ng sagot niya. My heartbeat doubled.
From: Mr. Monterro
I'm going France to meet a business associate, Iana. I'll be back tomorrow. Stop concluding things.
Nahigit ko ang hininga ko. He texted me again.
From: Mr. Monterro
Hindi ako mambababae kung 'yon ang nasa isip mo.
I swallowed hard. Pumikit ako at minura ang puso ko dahil sa mabilis na pagpintig nito. My feelings aren't going the right direction.
"You liar. Of course I wouldn't know if you're really going to france to meet a business associate. Baka babae mo pa 'yan," I huffed. Yes, Iana. Huwag kang magpapaniwala sa taong iyan.
"Sino 'yan?" Tanong ni Naya na kakapasok ng sala. She was cooking for lunch. I'm at her apartment right now.
"Nobody," napalunok ako at mabilis tinago ang phone ko.
Naya narrowed her eyes at me but she shrugged. "By the way, papunta si Arco dito. I told him that you're here."
Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko. Naya raised a brow at me when she noticed the excitement in my eyes. "Girl, you got it bad for your boy bestfriend," iling niya.
"Am I being too obvious?" Tumikhim ako.
Naya laughed and nodded, making me feel embarrassed. "Pigilan mo kepay mo, Miss."
It didn't take thay long when the doorbell rang. Sakto, kakatapos lang magluto ni Naya. I stood up and opened it since Naya is still showering in her bathroom.
Bumungad sa paningin ko si Arco na ngumiti. "Hey," he entered and I almost melted in his arms when he hugged me.
"Babs," yumakap ako pabalik. I closed my eyes when I felt him kiss my head.
"How are you?"
Lumayo ako sa kanya kahit ayoko. I showed him my practiced smile. "Eto, kinasal."
Nakita ko ang panlalamig sa mga mata niya. "Hindi ka naman sinasaktan ng gagong 'yun?"
"Makagago naman 'to sa tao," Naya came out and raised a brow at Arco. Tapos na siyang mag-shower. May towel pa siya sa ulo niya.
"He forced her into that relationship. Ginawa siyang pambayad sa utang ng mga magulang niya. Isn't that enough to call him an asshole?" Sumbat ni Arco pero napairap lang si Naya sa kanya.
"Ang sabihin mo–"
"I am concerned for Iana, okay? As a friend," he cut her off.
As a friend. As a friend? I looked away from him to hide the sudden pain in my eyes. Mapait akong ngumiti ng palihim. Hanggang kaibigan na lang talaga ang turing niya sa akin.
Huminga ako ng malalim. I smiled. "No, Babs. Ansel never layed a finger on me. Nothing to worry about."
Napatingin sa akin si Arco at natahimik. I just tried to drift the topic while we were eating. Naya nudged me when Arco's phone kept ringing.
"Bro, sagutin mo na 'yan. Nakakairita sa tenga. Kanina pa yan nagriring. Just excuse yourself from the table and anwer the call," ngumuso si Naya at imuwinestra ang phone ni Arco na nakalapag sa mesa.
Arco looked at me. Nakitaan ko ng guilt at kakaibang ekspresyon ang mga mata niya. He gulped. "Hindi naman importante."
"Bakit sino ba 'yan?" I curiously asked.
Pansin kong kinabahan siya sa tanong ko. He cleared his throat. "Ah..w-wala. Sa trabaho lang."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "O, trabaho pala. Bakit hindi mo sagutin?"
"True. Sagutin mo ma. Baka importante, bro," Naya shrugged.
Arco cleared his throat before excusing himself. Lumayo siya ng husto sa amin. He went to the living room. Siguro nga...masyadong importante?
Pagbalik niya ay huli ko ang pagkabalisa niya. But when he saw me staring at him, he smiled at me. Okay?
"Are you going somewhere tonight, Naya?" Arco asked her while we're watching a movie.
Pinapagitnaan nila ako ni Naya. He's seated on my left while Naya sits on my left. Nagluto rin si Naya ng popcorns.
"Oo, may nagyayang lumabas. Libre pa. Sayang kung hihindi, diba?" Humalakhak siya na parang demonyo.
Nailing ako. "So may ka-date ka?" Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata.
She gasped and held her chest. "'Yung tono mo naman parang masama makipagdate! Kung gusto mo, lumabas rin kayo ni Arco!"
"Yeah, that's the plan," Arco nodded.
My eyes widened a little and I felt my cheeks burn. Ano raw?! Tama ba ako ng narinig?! Pinandilatan ako ni Naya na para bang sinasabi na kalmahan ko kepay ko. Edi fine!
"Anong klaseng date 'yan aber?! Date ng magkaibigan or magka-ibigan?" Tinaasan kami ni Naya ng kilay.
I made a face. "Lalabas lang at kakain." Baka mabulilyaso pa lihim ko dahil sa kadaldalan ni Naya.
"Hoy Arco ha! Huwag mong nilalandi itong si Iana kasi kasal na siya! May ASAWA NA! Rinig mo?" Minsan ang sarap na lang pakainin si Naya ng buong pandesal nang matahimik siya.
"Arranged marriage," iling ko.
"But still.. MARRIED," Naya snapped at me. "And I know how much you respect the sanctity of marriage Iana."
Right.
Lahat ng atensyon ko, nakatuon sa pinapanood namin. We're watching a movie here in the cinema. And I couldn't help but think about my life now. How my peace was ruined with just a snap of a finger. How I woke up and just found out that I was married. That I was forced into a marriage with a man I never knew.
"Iana," Arco spoked softly.
Napaawang ang labi ko nang maramdaman ang marahang pagpunas niya sa pisngi ko. That's when I realized that I'm already silently crying. I shook my head and wiped my tears.
I forced a chuckle. "A-ah sorry! Nakakaiyak kasi 'yung panood."
"We're watching a comedy movie, Babs," Arco looked concern.
Tumulo ulit ang mga luha ko. Fuck these tears! I just feel so helpless knowing that I was treated as a daughter by my parents into a nobody now. Sino ang magulang na kayang ipambayad ang sariling anak sa taong hindi naman niya kilala ng husto?!
"Do you want me to take you away from here?" Sumeryoso ang boses ni Arco at napa-angat ang tingin ko sa kanya nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko. "Let's run away."
That is so tempting. Gusto ko. Gusto ko ba?
I faked a smile. "Ansel Monterro is a powerful man, Babs. At may atraso ang mga magulang ko sa kanya. I was the payment for their arrears. And if I run away, I don't know what could Ansel do to them. He is known to be ruthless. Baka mapahamak pa ang mga magulang ko kung aalis ako."
"Hayop na 'yon. Bakit kasi kailangang ikaw pa ang hingin niyang pambayad?!" Arco muttered a curse.
"Your offer is tempting but I cannot forsake my parents.." I gave him a sad smile.
Pag-uwi ko ay namataan ko ang tatlong guwardiya na nakabantay sa malaking gate ni Ansel. They half-bowed when they saw me inside Arco's car. I smiled at them when they opened the gate.
"Will you be okay in staying here?" Arco asked.
"Oo. Hindi naman ako pisikal na sinasaktan ni Ansel. Tsaka mababait ang mga staffs niya rito," I told him the truth to lessen his worry.
Parang may humaplos sa puso ko dahil sa pag-aalala niya. Oh, if only all these mess aren't happening, I would have confessed my feelings to you, Arco.
Tumungo agad ako sa kuwarto. But I gasped because I wasn't expecting someone to be here!
"Ansel!" I gasped his name in surprise. Bakit andito na siya?!
His eyes bore to mine and I noticed the coldness in them. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin. He loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his polo while never taking his eyes off of me. I felt a shover run down my spine while looking at his rough hands.
"Why are you here? Akala ko ba nasa France ka?" I tried to sound casual. "You said you're not coming home tonight."
His jaw clenched. "That's why you went out with that guy. What time is it, Iana?"
Napatingin ako sa orasan sa bedside table. It's already close to midnight. Hindi ko napansin na ganun na pala ka-late! Nagmarites lang naman kami ni Arco!
Pero ano ba ang pakialam niya?!
I crossed my hands over my chest. "Akala ko ba walang pakialamanan? I'm minding my own business. Mind yours."
"Goddamn, you are my business!" He threw his necktie on the bed and turned all his attention on me.
"No I am not!" My system is reacting badly and I don't even know why! "And I am still waiting for you to tell the public that we are not wedded."
Umigting ang bagang niya. Ansel chuckled dryly. "Yeah, so you can be with that guy. Ano ba meron sa lalaking 'yon? Hindi naman gwapo."
I gasped because of his audacity to say that. I felt offended. "How dare you say that! Arco is a good looking man! And he's better than you because he is not a manwhore!"
"And you consider me as one?"
"Yes!" Halos pasigaw kong sagot.
Silence suddenly filled us. His jaw clenched but he did not comment.
Kumunot ang noo niya. "If you want to flirt, flirt with me. Sa akin lang," mataman niyang saad kapagkuwaan.
"I am not flirting with a manwhore like you!"
Umiling siya at hindi na pinatulan ang sinabi ko. Napakurap ako nang tanggalin niya ng tuluyan ang pagkakabutones ng polo niya at naghubad siya sa harap ko. My eyes looked at his defined abs.
"Mr. Monterro!" Galit kong sabi.
Ansel looked at me. "Yes, Mrs. Monterro?"
I groaned before leaving him there. Lumabas ako ng kuwarto at saktong pagbabako ay nakita ko si Helena. Nakaka-stress talaga ang lalaking 'yun!
"Ay, hello po, Ma'am! Buti at nakauwi na kayo. Kanina pa kayo inaantay ni Sir," she beamed.
"Inantay niya ako?" Gulat kong tanong.
"Oho. Dito ho sa sala na nagtambay, inantay kayo. Tumaas lang siya nung narinig niya 'yung kotse na naghatid sa'yo."
What? "Anong oras siyang umuwi?"
"Nung six pa po siya umuwi galing opisina. Sa katunayan, inantay niya po kayo para sana sabay kayong kumain pero–" ngumiwi siya.
Napaawang ang labi ko. Is he for real?
"Sabi niya pupunta siyang France at hindi uuwi. I didn't know that he'd be here waiting for me!" Ako pa tuloy naguilty! E bakit kailangang antayin niya ako para sabay kaming kumain?! He can eat alone!
Helena shrugged pero may kakaiba sa tingin niya.
I bit my lip and sighed. "Hayaan mo na. Painitin ko na lang mga pagkain," baka gutom 'yon. Kasi naman!
Helena covered her mouth and giggled. "Yiee. Okay po, Ma'am. Sinabihan ko na po si Sir na kumain pero umayaw po. Baka kapag kayo po nagtawag, kakain siya."
Pumunta ako sa kusina ni Ansel na napakalawak. I started reheating the food that Helena cooked. I don't know how to cook. Hindi ako pang wife material pagdating sa kusina.
I bit my lip when I accidentally burned myself while preparing the food. Nang matapos kong painitin ang mga pagkain ay tumungo ako sa taas para tawagin si Ansel. Naabutan ko siyang may katawag sa phone at nakatalikod sa akin. He was talking about business.
"Ansel," I called.
Lumingon agad siya pagkarinig sa boses ko. I swallowed hard to calm myself. Mabait naman talaga ako! Minsan lang hindi halata! I shouldn't feel guilty pero sabi kasi ni Helena nag-antay 'yung tao para kasabay ako kumain. Baka nagugutom na siya!
Oo 'yun yon.
Ansel was still on the phone. He gave me a questioning look while still listening on the person in the line.
"Baba ka. Pinainit ko mga pagkain. You have to eat," I told him.
Pansin kong natigilan siya. He licked his lower lip and looked away from me. Bago pa man siya makapagsalita ay umalis na ako roon at bumalik sa baba.
Matapang ka, Iana! But why did you sound nervous when talking to him?! Nakakabawas poise!
Hindi nagtagal ay napaayos ako ng upo nang mamataan ko si Ansel na pumasok ng kusina. Buti naman at bumaba siya! Nakita ko si Helena na sumilip sa may hamba. Tumikhim siya at parang kinikilig na umalis. What's with her?
Amoy ko agad ang mabangong shower gel niya. It's so manly. Ang natural. Hindi masakit sa ilong. And the scent is so attractive. Pero hindi ako na-aatract, duh.
Nahuli niya ang tingin ko. Neither of us smiled. He sat near me.
"A-ano, dun ka sa may harap ko," umusog ako palayo.
Ansel 'tss-ed' before standing up, sitting in the chair in front of me. Automatikong gumalaw ang mga kamay ko at nilagyan ng kanin ang pinggan niya. When I realized what I did, binalot ako ng hiya. What the heck am I doing?!
Pagtingin ko kay Ansel, kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. He was stifling an emotion. Hindi ko an lang pinansin 'yon at kumuha ng mangkok. Naglagay ako ng ulam niya. Tumayo rin ako para magsalin ng tubig sa baso niya.
Ansel watched me. Every move, he was keenly observing me. Inirapan ko siya nang magtama ang tingin namin.
"Kain na," supladang sabi ko matapos maupo ulit.
Tumaas ang sulok ng labi niya. "Pack some of your things. We're leaving for France tomorrow."
Napaawang ang labi ko sa gulat at tinignan siya. "Why would I go with you?"
"So you wouldn't accuse me of seeing another woman," he said seriously. "Come with me and I'll prove it's only you."
•••••
:)