My first time in a taxicab was not at all what I thought it would be. I thought the first time I would ever drive in a taxi would be in New York city or Philly or some other cool place. Not in the weirdo town of Colorado Springs. Everything seems way too green here. It’s too fresh. It almost seems fake to me but I know it’s not. Nothing is fake about the situation I’m in right now.
“Almost there, darling.” The taxicab driver says. I nod in return, not really up for small talk. Especially with someone I’ll probably never see again. But that’s okay, I’ve lost too much already.
After my mom died suddenly in a car accident this past summer, my life seemed to turn upside down. And then it turned upside down again when I found out who my real birth father was and that he was alive and lives across the country. I’ve never met him before because my mom told me he died when I was a baby. I’ve never seen pictures or have even known his name until a couple days ago when my lawyer told me I’d be living with him seeing as I have no other family. They tried to get in contact with him but there was no luck. He either missed the calls or avoided them. Since I don’t have anywhere else to go, I was put on the earliest flight to Colorado Springs with the little amount of belongings I had and here I am in a taxi cab on my way to his house.
As we pull into a subdivision I notice the houses are huge. My mom and I lived in a small two bedroom apartment in New Jersey. I’d never known what it’s like to live in a house because none of my friends did. Everyone I knew lived in apartments, so seeing a house this big overwhelms me. I don’t realize my hands are shaking and my heart is pounding until the taxicab driver speaks.
“We’re here.” He says. I feel like I’m frozen in place. A million thoughts are running through my head. And while most of them are about my mom and how much I miss her, a good portion are of who I’m about to meet. I know he has a family. He has a wife and a daughter. How am I gonna feel meeting them? Are they going to like me or hate that I probably just ruined their perfect little life. “I’ll help you get your bags.” He says.
The driver opens my door and I step out into the crisp and slightly cold Colorado air. On wobbly legs I force myself to take hold of my two suitcases. I pay the driver and watch as he slowly drives off, leaving me to my new life. Turning back towards the vast house in front of me, I take my suitcases and approach the door. I wipe my sweaty hands on my ripped jeans and brace myself before I ring the doorbell.
Moments later, a woman, probably in her late thirties opens the door. She has long blonde hair and big smile on her face. That’s before her eyes land on the suitcases.
“Hi, can I help you?” She asks, her voice level.
I swallow around the lump in my throat. She’s beautiful. While she’s probably forty she looks like she’s twenty. “Hi, um, does Austin West live here?” I ask.
“Yes he does. Hold on a moment, let me get him.” The lady says. She closes the door slightly and returns a few moments later with Austin. Holy shit, yeah that’s my father. Tall, dark brown hair like mine, hazel eyes like mine and much more.
“Hi, can we help you?” He says.
“Yeah. Well I guess there’s no easy way to say this.” I start, figuring I don’t need to prolong this and should rip the bandaid off. I look between who I assume to be his wife and my father. “I’m your daughter.” As if on cue both of their eyes widen and their mouths drop. “Yeah I’m just as surprised as you guys are.” I say, seeing as they’re not saying anything.
“Um, why don’t you come in, honey.” The lady says. Hmm, she’s taking this rather well. I expected her to either freak out or yell at me and not let me stay. “Austin, help her with her bags.” She says.
Austin, or my dad, takes one of my suitcases while his wife holds the door open. Wow, the house is even more beautiful on the inside. Polished hardwood floors, high ceilings, the works. It’s all very nice and looks expensive. Note to self: don’t break anything.
“So, um, God, I don’t even know how to start this.” Austin says, running a hand through his hair. I do the same thing when I’m frustrated, not caring if it messes up my hair. I just shrug in return.
“Let’s just sit down in the living room and talk. Get to know each other. Okay?” His wife says, more to Austin than me. She places a hand on my shoulder, guiding me towards the living room. I fight the urge to smack her hand away. I know how to walk, lady. “You can sit anywhere…um.” She trails off.
“Sophie.” I answer.
“Sophie? That’s pretty.” She says as I take a seat on a large sofa.
“So, I’m still wrapping my mind around the fact that I have a daughter that I didn’t know about.”
“Likewise.” I state. “I thought you were dead.” Austin starts choking either on air or what I just said. Either way it’s kind of funny and he tries to cover it up by coughing it out.
“So tell us about yourself.” Austin says.
“Like why am I here?” I snap. “Because my mom died. Okay, I have nowhere else to go and since I’m not eighteen I was forced to find you guys.” I say. They both nod. “I’m sorry to just spring in on you guys like this but I have no where else to go.” I say, my voice cutting off towards the end as I try to hold back a sob. I’ve always wanted a family like this. I’ve always wanted a mother and a father that love me and love each other. I’ve always wanted to belong to something. But I’ve been denied that my entire life and ever since my mom died it just makes it all the more painful. But at seventeen years old, the possibility of having a family seems like it’s a little too late.
“Sophie, you’re more than welcome to stay here. Actually you are going to stay here, okay? We’ll take care of you.” The lady says, and Austin nods in agreement.
“Thank you.” I say. The lady comes over to me and hugs me. It’s not until then that I realize I’m shaking again. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Don’t be sorry honey.” The lady soothes. She sounds like my mom and that hurts even more.
“What’s your name?” I ask her.
She smiles. “Madelyn.” She tells me. That’s so pretty. “But you can call me whatever you want. Okay? You can make up a name for me, it doesn’t matter” She says and I nod, smiling a little bit.
“I’ll go clean out one of our spare bedrooms and you can stay there.” Austin says.
“Thank you.”
While Austin is cleaning out the spare bedroom, Madelyn shows me around their house. I absolutely love it. She tells me about how Austin let her decorate everything. She has such good taste in, well, everything. It has a very comfortable vibe. You can tell it’s not a show house but a family house. Everyone has a place here. I just hope I can find mine. Their house actually isn’t as big as I thought. Only four bedroom and three bathrooms. I’ve never had my own bathroom before, but I don’t share this. I don’t want to seem more pathetic than I already am. I stop by a picture hanging on the wall of the three of them.
“Oh, that’s our daughter, Lauren.” Madelyn says.
I nod. “She’s pretty.” I say.
“Yeah, she is. She’s at volleyball practice now but she’ll be home before dinner. You can meet her then.”
“Okay.” I say. I look back at the picture, taking in how happy they look. How could my mom tell me someone like Austin was dead? Maybe she just didn’t want anything to do with him? Maybe something happened between them and that’s how he ended up with madelyn? I don’t know. I don’t like that I’m starting to hate my mom for lying. I grab hold of the necklace around my neck. A small gold necklace with the letters S and G on it. I turn it over between my thumb and finger absentmindedly. It’s not until Madelyn speaks that I realize I’ve gone quite.
“That’s a pretty necklace.” She says.
“Thanks. Um, my mom gave it to me when I was young.” I explain, my voice going quiet towards the end.
“Let’s go see if your dad is finished with your room.” Madelyn says, changing the subject for which I’m grateful for.
We walk up the spiral flight of stairs towards the room that will be mine. It’s an enormous room.Well, if you compare it to the teeny tiny room I had in the apartment. But I have to stop comparing so much. It’s only going to make things worse.
“Wow.” I say. “I don’t need this much space.” I say. I sit down on the edge of the bed and take in the vastness.
“Well it’s yours.” Austin says, a smile on his face. “You can decorate it however you want.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll go get dinner started.” Madelyn says.
“I’m sorry again, you guys. I didn’t mean to just come here. I promise…”
“Sophie, it’s fine. We’re um...I’m glad to finally meet you.” Austin says. I give a small smile back. “We’ll let you get unpacked and settled.” Austin says before leaving.
To be honest, there’s not much to be unpacked. I have a full chest of drawers and a walk in closet. The walls are painted a cream color and all the furniture is chestnut brown. It has a nice warm feeling to it. I walk the length of the room and smile from how big it is. I can dance in here. I can see myself dancing around the whole length of this room. My mom and I used to dance all the time. We would dance while cooking dinner or cleaning or when I was frustrated with my homework she would make me stop and we would dance. She’s the one that taught me how to dance. Sometimes I just can’t stand still when there’s music on. And sometimes even when there’s not.
So, in honor of my mother, as I unpack I turn up the music on my iPod and dance. After a couple songs I start to really get into it. I lose myself in the lyrics, the beat, the movements of everything. It’s so carefree and weightless. The song My Gun by Tove Lo comes on and by that time I’m finished unpacking and completely lose myself in the music. I’m nearly sweating by the time the song reaches the bridge, my heart is drumming in my ears seemingly to the same beat as the music.
As the song nears it’s end, I do a turn and immediately stop cold when I see Austin and Madelyn watching me.
“Holy shit. Sorry. Oh my God, I didn’t know you guys were standing there.” I exclaim, all in one big sweaty and unattractive breath. I go and turn of the music, panting still.
“You dance?” Madelyn chimes like a giddy teenager, making me laugh.
“Yeah, a little.”
“That wasn’t a little. You’re amazing.” Austin says. Wow, first encouraging words from my father ever. Better write that down. It feels good to hear.
“Thanks.” I say. “Can I get some water?”
“Yeah, come on down here.” Madelyn says, ushering me with her down the stairs and towards the kitchen.
She hands me a bottle of water and I sit down at the island counter. It smells amazing in here. My stomach growls just from the smell of it.
“At first we figured the music was Lauren’s and then we’re both like, wait she isn’t here.” Austin says, helping his wife cook. He’s trying to cut up an onion but his eyes start watering so Madelyn just shoves him aside. He busies himself stirring what smells like chilli in the pot on the stove. “How’d you learn to dance like that? And can you teach my wife?” Austin jokes and I burst out laughing from the scowl she throws him.
“I can dance!” She yells, defensively.
“I learned from my mom. But yeah anytime I’ll teach you.” I say, smiling. I’m surprised at how easy it is to feel at home here. It’s almost impossible not to. “After you teach me how to make whatever you’re making, it smells so good!” I exclaim walking over towards the stove. More like the smell drew me over to it. Austin and Madelyn share a look and I force myself not to ask what that’s about. I only just met them today.
“You’ve got a deal, missy.” Madelyn says, bumping me with her hip. I open my mouth to say something when suddenly the front door rips open and slams shut all within the matter of a second.
“Lauren.” Austin yells. I hear a loud grumble before a short and petite blonde haired girl comes into the kitchen reluctantly.
“What?” She demands. I go back to my seat at the island counter, suddenly not all that excited about this introduction.
“Can you come into the kitchen, please?” Austin says and when she does her eyes land on me. I give a small smile.
“There’s someone we’d like you to meet.” Madelyn says.
“Who the hell is this?”
“Lauren.” Madelyn scolds.
“Watch yourself, young lady.” Austin says. “This is your new half sister, Sophie. Sophie, this is our daughter Lauren.”
“Hi, Lauren it’s nice to meet-”
“What?” Lauren exclaims. “Half sister? This is bullshit. She’s not my sister. Mom!” She whines. Wow, she’s got a little fight in her but at the same time she’s kind of a cry baby. It may be fun to mess with her.
“Lauren, that’s enough.” Austin says, his stern voice cutting through the hysteria about to break out. “Now, this is news to us too so it would be helpful if you acted a little nicer to Sophie.”
“Who’s screw up is she?”
“Lauren Shea!” Madelyn chastises.
“She can’t be yours mom.” Lauren says, looking straight at me with disgust written all over her. “She must be dad’s fuck up because he never could keep his dick in his pants. Right mom?”
“That’s enough!” Austin shouts. “That’s the last time you’re going over your aunt’s house. Now go to your room right now.”
“Gladly. Bye bitch.” Lauren says to me as she saunters out of the kitchen.
I just sit there, my mouth slightly agape, wondering how the hell that just happened. Maybe I shouldn’t have came here. I shouldn’t have thought that I could ever have a relationship with my dad. Hell, he was dead to me. Now I’m just ruining everything.
“I am so sorry about that, Sophie, I have no idea where that came from.” Madelyn says.
“Please forgive us.” Austin says.
“It’s okay.” I shake my head. “Maybe I should just go, I can find somewhere else to stay. I didn’t mean to come here and just ruin everything.” I say, starting to get up but Austin pushes me back down on the stool.
“You’re not going anywhere. We’ll have to talk to Lauren. Again, it’s been news to everyone. Okay?” Austin says.
“Okay.”
“Just let her calm down, babe. She’ll come down eventually for food. She won’t starve herself.” Madelyn says. And even in this seemingly hopeless and shitty situation, Madelyn can make me laugh. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.