I'm woken up by Jake's scent wafting through my nostrils. It is a familiar scent, a hint of cigarette smoke and his woodsy cologne. He's been using the same one since he was fifteen, I know that because I gave it to him for his birthday. I remember asking for something that smelled "manly" when I went to buy it. He was going through this phase back then; his voice had finally changed, it was deeper and huskier, and the girls were noticing him more, so he kept saying he was finally a man. It was also when he had his first time.
I had this small crush on him back then, something that happened three times during the course of our friendship. The first time was back when we were twelve, which was when he had his first kiss; then, it was when we were fourteen, right when he started dating for the first time. The third time happened around the time I gave him the cologne, when he lost his virginity. Thinking about it now, all those times weren't for real. Jake was having his "firsts" and I wasn't, so I was feeling left behind. I wanted to experience that too and, him being the only boy I trusted, my mind tricked me into thinking it had to be him.
I haven't thought about these crushes for a long time, but they all come back when his smell causes me to shiver. It takes me a couple of seconds to understand why I'm waking up to his fragrance, however, it all makes sense when flashes of last night shoot through my head. Jake is lying on his back and I'm glued to his side, head on his shoulder, my right hand flat against his chest. He looks peaceful in his sleep, angelic even, but looking at him all my thoughts turn sinful.
I scan his figure, covered only by the black fabric of his underwear. When my eyes begin to wander below his abdomen, an urge to scratch my nails down his torso and grab his bulge takes over me. I let out a heavy sigh and close my eyes, trying to shake the thoughts away as I feel a rush of wetness pooling between my legs.
"Good morning." The soft voice comes from behind me and it startles me a little, making me feel guilty, as if its owner had heard the things going through my head. It's only then that I notice the arms around my waist, the blue fingernails moving slightly as Cassie caresses me.
"Good morning." I whisper back, taking a last look at Jake's face before turning to face her. "Did you sleep well?"
"Very well." she says, pulling me closer. "You're warm and cozy."
A thrill spreads through my body when she buries her face on my neck, taking a deep breath there before letting out a quiet, breathy moan. My hand finds her ass and I hold it tight, trying to get closer - even though our bodies are already glued together - while she trails open mouthed kisses along my neck.
I move my hands to her waist and pin her down on the bed, getting on top of her. Her nails scratch me under the shirt I'm wearing, Jake's shirt. It smells like him. Cassie is about to slide down my underwear when I realize what is going on. I stop it suddenly, moving her hands away and climbing off her body, knowing full well what's going to happen if Jake wakes up. I don't need that to happen again, I need to forget that ever happened.
"Do you want some breakfast?" I ask, getting off the bed. Cassie's confusion is clear on her face, but she gets up anyway, following me to the kitchen. She is wearing another one of Jake's shirt, his smell lingering on both of us making me uncomfortable. "Toast?"
"Sounds good." Cassie replies, taking a seat behind the counter where she watches me intently as a brew us coffee and make the toast. She has one elbow on top of the counter, hand cradling her cheek; the whisper of a smile curves her lips the slightest and her gaze is so intense I feel like she's burning holes on my skin.
"What?" I ask shyly. Cassie sits up straight and lets the smile finally light her face.
"Nothing. You're just very pretty." I feel myself blushing, a small, shy smile forms on my lips and I look down to the floor, incapable of saying anything. "So, how long have you and Jake known each other?" she asks, breaking the silence.
"We met in kindergarten. We were five, so we've known each other for more than fifteen years now."
"Wow. Were you in the same class, then?"
"Not really." I say, bringing the coffee and toasts to the table. "Jake has a twin brother, Josh, and I was in his class. I used to see Jake around, I knew who he was, but I didn't know his name, so I used to refer to him as 'the other Josh'. Once he found that out he came to me and said 'Hey, my name is Jake!' He used this very harsh tone, but my five year old ass thought he was only introducing himself, so I said 'Hey, I'm Elizabeth, wanna see my stone collection?'"
Cassie laughs, taking a seat in front of me, her eyes still intense, watching my every movement. "So your friendship started because of a misunderstanding and some stones?"
"It was a pretty bitchin collection." I froze at the sound of his voice. Jake walks to the table and deposits a peck on my cheek like he does every morning before sitting down at his usual spot. This morning though, I don't smile, I just look down, body tense, my skin tingling where his lips touched.
Breakfast is eaten in absolute silence, the most uncomfortable situation I've ever experienced. I feel Jake's gaze on me, but I can't bring myself to look at him, and being in the same room with him is making me anxious. "I'm gonna go take a shower." I announce, standing abruptly. "I promised Dave to get lunch with him today." Jake slightly nods and I can only hear Cassie whispering "Who's Dave?" before closing my bedroom door.
-
"I told him it was a bad idea," I tell Dave, "but he said it wouldn't be weird if we didn't touch each other, that we could just make everything about her."
I needed to tell someone about my current situation and Dave seemed like the best option for a couple of reasons. First of all, besides Jake, Dave is pretty much my only friend here; second, Jake is sort of what brought us together. There was this small get together at my coworker's place during my first week at the office. We were allowed to bring a plus one, so I took Jake with me. The following Monday, Dave spent the entire lunch break with me, talking unstoppably about how hot my best friend was.
"What happened then? And please, don't spare the details." Dave adjusts himself on the couch, getting closer to me, his face contorting in excitement like it always does when he's about to hear some gossip.
"Well, first of all, I saw him naked, hard and swollen in front of me, his body was dripping sweat, his eyes were blown with lust." I close my eyes, the clear image of Jake in my head sending shots of electricity through my whole body. "I get aroused just thinking about it. My mouth literally waters, Dave."
"I get you, girl." he says, giggling. "That man does the same to me and I haven't even seen that perfect image you described. I told you this was gonna happen someday, you can't live with a man like that and feel nothing. What else happened?"
I scan his face for a second, he looks creepily excited. His blue eyes stare at me expectantly, his blond hair is a mess, the polar opposite to how it usually looks. "I rode his face." I admit. I feel embarrassed saying it out loud, but I came here, I asked for this.
"You did what?!" Dave's eyes widen, his mouth draws into an O shape. "How did that happen?"
"She was on top of him and his face was... God, Dave. His face was contorted in pure pleasure and I was touching myself to that, I was literally getting off to my best friend's sex face. His eyes found me at one point and he saw what I was doing, so he moved my hand away and said 'come sit on my face' and, at that moment, I finally understood what you keep saying about his voice."
"It's the sexiest, isn't it? My dream is him whispering dirty things in my ear." Dave lets out in a dreamy tone. I laugh a little, but my mind is somewhere else. I can't stop thinking about how I'm gonna look at my best friend again. "Was he good?"
"He was amazing. I'd never ridden someone's face before, it was the most heavenly experience of my entire life. And he made me cum, Dave. I'd never cum with someone else before, remember I've only gone to bed with selfish assholes?"
"He's a keeper, Lizzy. Are you in love with him now?" Dave asks.
"I'm not in love with him, Jesus. I can't be in love with Jake, we're talking about the guy who used to send me audio messages of his farts."
"He used to what?" Dave laughs.
"Well, I used to snapchat him pictures of me pooping, so it's fine."
"You straight people are weird." Dave states, rolling his eyes and faking disgust.
"I'm not straight, show a little respect, please." I reply.
"Ok, so if you're not in love, then you have a crush on him."
"I wouldn't call it a crush, I just wanna sit on his dick." I finally admit it out loud.
"Then sit on his dick." Dave states, like it's obvious. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't say no."
I know for sure he wouldn't say no. Not because of me, though; Jake is just not the type who says no to a girl wanting to fuck him. But it's definitely not a good idea. The threesome wasn't either, but my mind was clouded by Cassie and the alcohol then. I'm seeing things clear now; I can't put my friendship at risk like that.
"It's not that simple." I say, my voice getting softer, the playful atmosphere from mere seconds before turning into a more serious one. "I can't throw away fifteen years of friendship just because I'm horny."
"You won't be throwing it away, you'll just be spicing it up a little bit."
"I know myself, Dave. I get attached too easily, I would ruin everything."
"What if he ends up getting attached too?" He questions.
"Not happening, I'm not Jake's type. I know his type, definitely not me. Cassie is though, they're probably doing it right now." I let out, remembering I left both of them alone to come here. "Anyways, I'm not fucking him, he's my best friend, it's not a good idea." I say, more for me than Dave, really.
"What are you gonna do then?"
"Swallow it, I guess. It's a way stronger feeling now, but this happened before and it passed, and it's going to pass again." I voice, trying to convince myself.
As requested, Dave doesn't bring the subject up anymore during the rest of the day. Instead, we talk about the new guy he's seeing, bake cookies and watch a movie together. This makes me forget about the whole Jake situation, or at least helps me to not think about it, but when the time to go home comes, it is the only thing in my head.
I take a deep breath before opening the door to my shared apartment, plucking up the courage to look at my roommate and act like everything is normal. He's on the couch when I finally come in, a documentary playing on TV as he absently looks at something on his phone, not even bothering to look at me.
"Learning about lions?" I ask, crossing my arms around his shoulders from behind. Jake brings his eyes to the TV and huffs a laugh, before letting go of his phone to hold my wrists.
"It's quite interesting," he says. "Did you know a lion's roar can be heard up to eight kilometers away?"
"I certainly did not." I circle the couch and sit at the edge, facing Jake. We're way too close, his scent sends electricity through my body again. "I'm sorry I was acting weird this morning."
"Don't be, after what happened last night it was only natural." It is natural to be uncomfortable, but in Jake's head it is happening because I'm embarrassed with what happened last night, not because I can't look at him without getting horny. "We're okay though, right?" He asks.
"I can't imagine us ever not being okay, Jake."
He smiles, it's a sweet one, but it quickly turns into a smirk. "Cassie likes you.", he says. I raise one eyebrow at him. "She told me that after you were gone. Said it would be nice if you went out with her."
"Oh my God.", I breathe, bring my hands to cover my face.
"I gave her your number, I hope that's alright."
"What about you?" I ask, uncovering my eyes to look at him. "You were so into her."
"I just found her attractive, Lizzy. I wanted one night with her, that's all. I think you should give her a chance, you keep saying how men suck and how bad you want to find a nice girl. She seems pretty nice to me."
"I'll think about it." I say, getting up and heading to my room. I stop after a few steps though, and turn to him. "I wasn't faking last night by the way." I say. Jake knows what I mean, he's very aware of all the disappointing sexual experiences I've had. I blush immediately after saying it, still not quite sure why I did it in the first place.
"Good to know."
We keep staring at each other for a moment, Jake on the couch, me standing in the middle of the living room. The sexual tension is palpable, it seems like we're gonna jump at each other's arms at any second. I'm the one who breaks eye contact, heading hurriedly to my room so I can muffle a frustrated yell on my pillow.