These words from anonymous are dialogues and thoughts of the characters in the future of the story. Who these belong to, its up to you to figure it out. Though I won't write these in every chapter cuz that would be giving too many spoilers.
The person you love no longer exists...
Will you miss them?
Cry out of loneliness?
So unbearable, that you'd wish to die instead?
Regret not loving them enough?
Not telling them how much you love them?
Wish you'd have more time with them?
To turn back time so you could do things the right way?
But it's too late...
They're already dead.
Leaving us with endless regrets.
~Anonymous~
**********
The last of the sun's rays sheltered behind the soft grey clouds as twilight reached. The wind breeze caressed my skin as the fragrance of the garden massaged my mind with peace. A daunting star was hanging amidst the brooding darkness, sparkling and beautiful yet in isolation...
"Your Highness, His Majesty expects you." Shang Dong bows taking my attention.
I nodded, walking past him into the Imperial study. As always His Majesty was working on some official papers. The candle-lights illuminating his striking profile, adding a certain softness to his sharp features.
"What is this important matter you had wanted to report to me?" He asked continuing to do his work.
I knew what I was about to do, was me digging my own grave, but I didn't want to keep hiding things from him. It wasn't a decision I took in an impulse but one I'd thought through carefully considering the pros and cons. Despite the little doubts I had in my heart, I still trusted him a lot.
I had a duty, and no matter what outcome, I needed to do what was supposed to be done. I was holding this position with the people's trust. I needed to keep it that way as long as I remained here. I was going to get locked up, but atleast I could prevent someone from dying pointlessly. If I could tell him what I knew, he could come up with a greater plan to catch the mastermind.
Indeed, it was foolish but rather than keeping quiet about the matter and feeling guilty, I'd rather just spill out everything. I was ready to face the consequences but not without a back-up plan.
There was also a low possibility of him being involved in this mess, so I didn't have a reason to hide any of this from him. As his General, he'd be the first person I should be reporting this to. After all, this matter was not just about getting rid of Mother Empress and I, beneath this well thought plan was a dreadful motive that could alarm Xu Lin's safety in the near future.
Remembering the pain, I suffered my last birth and comparing it to the strikes I'd be receiving soon, I felt much better. Atleast I would be intact this time. No person could have suffered such torture like I did, and managed to be even conscious at his last moments.
"Your Majesty..."
He gave me a quick glance and lightly nodded me to continue.
"My Imperial Jade was stolen." I confessed watching closely as he raised his head, his eyes unreadable. I gulped unconsciously, suddenly feeling remorseful and negligent in protecting the jade.
"I'm sorry... I was irresponsible, Your Majesty." I sincerely apologized looking right into his eyes. But as always he just watched me for awhile, making me slightly frown, wondering what he was up to. Putting the brush to aside he leaned against the chair, muttering something incoherent to himself. He seemed to be contemplating on something.
"When did this happen?" He asked while getting up from his seat.
"...I just found out this morning." I answered, my gaze following his tall frame heading towards the windows. He shut them down, but before he could take another step, I helped him close the set of windows at the other end of the room.
"Anything else?" The deep voice was soothing yet cold like always. He was already seated at his desk while I had shut the windows. Moving away the paper he was currently working on, he picked up a blank sheet of paper, ready to write on it.
I couldn't help but gaze at his face, since this was not the reaction I had expected. With how severe this case was I thought he'd have a more apparent reaction. But this was way worse than Du Xi's response!
It's not like he would jump into me like an outraged wild cat whenever I made mistakes. He would only get upset, direct sarcastic remarks at my face and later give me some light punishment at most.
It's those eyes and his sharp blade-like remarks that made it unbearable for me. And wouldn't it hurt when I was the only person who'd get a negative reaction from the usually unresponsive Emperor?
Even those petty ministers weren't given as much of a glance or a word of repulsion. However, they'd be six feet underground before they even know it. Its similar to how he didn't even question me before locking me up, and sentencing me to death. I had to say that was the most reckless decision he'd ever made. While those petty ministers deserved it, I knew I didn't. This time I wouldn't let things fall out of favor for me. I had already thought of plan to escape the dungeons if I felt things didn't go as I had wanted it to.
Wearing a detached expression, his deep stare was directed at me, who felt self-conscious at the way he was looking at me. I couldn't help averting my eyes feeling a little nervous.
I was trying to focus my attention on something else, but ended up stealing a glance at His Majesty who was still scrutinizing me. My brain was already malfunctioning at this point.
"What's the matter, General?" The clueless Emperor, who had no idea about my internal struggle questioned. His large, rough hand grabbed onto the brush and dipped it's bristles into the little ink pot at the side. The black inked bristles were about to touch the paper but stopped mid-way as he did not receive my reply.
"Was not the reaction you were expecting?" He asked again, an almost invincible curve forming on his lips. His eyes were so dark, penetrating my soul.
My heart couldn't help but tremble. My lips parted lightly.
He seemed so confident right now. As if he knew exactly what was going on in my head.
"I-I..." I was flabbergasted. Since when did I learn to stutter?
"I thought you didn't trust me, Your Majesty." I managed to say it to my surprise. It was already too late when I realized I had spoken something I shouldn't have.
"Trusting and disliking someone is not the same General. While you could trust someone, you can also choose to dislike them, and vice versa." He explained, his tone grave.
"I trust you to a certain point. But at the same time, I detest you General."
My heart contracted violently at his rude remark.
I could only blankly stare at those merciless lips, completely lost for words. I was obviously perplexed right now. Since the beginning, it was clear he didn't trust me one single bit. I wouldn't be at this point if he had. Just what was he talking about, after everything I'd gone through? Isn't it already too late to say this now?
"I dont take pleasure in telling you off all the time. It's your fault that I doubt whether it's the right choice to have this little bit of trust that's left for you." He continued as he fumbled across the paper work and scrolls on the table. He threw a scroll to my hands and motioned at me to read it.
Seeing the content on the scroll my expression turned sour instantly.
"I dare not, Your Majesty!" I replied in a hurry.
His eyes like a tiger trapping its prey, observed me closely, "I know."
I froze at his immediate reply.
"If you hadn't come to me within these 24 hours I would have given up on you. As soon as the attack two weeks ago, I sent disguised people to keep an eye on the entrance and the exit to Xu Lin. I didn't want the guards "slipping up" on their duties. So I had one of my best people to observe them."
I focused on reading the content in the scroll once again.
Two nights after the attack, a man had arrived to the city. With the help of the guards he was able to get through the heavily secured entrance. The Emperor himself interrogated one of the guards, to which he confessed that I had sent someone who held my authority and also gifted them gold as a payment for helping this man and taking care of his needs. His statement was supported by the other four guards.
"You dragged these guards into the torture hall yourself and questioned them because you were suspicious they might know of something. I thought you were putting on an act, because at first they didn't spill your name when the Deputy General interrogated them."
He lightly shook his head and concentrated on writing on the paper.
"How often do you keep a check on the amulet?" He asked not bothering to look up.
"I don't..." I felt like a student being lectured by his teacher.
He sighed looking a bit tired.
"Why?"
"...I'm sorry Your Majesty. It never crossed my mind to check on it. I had been busy after the attack and had forgotten about the amulet."
In fact, I had never bothered to check on the amulet. Why do I need to constantly check on something that I only use once or twice a year. However, tending to the jade was a very important duty given to its owner.
He paused his actions and awhile later he directed a soft glare at me as if he had heard my thoughts. After finishing whatever he was writing, he used his Imperial seal on the paper. He massaged his temples before saying,
"You didn't want the guards to be executed. Didn't want their families to be interrogated. You don't keep a check on the amulet either. You even said it was stolen, right after the guards confessed the truth to me. Now tell me, isn't it natural to suspect you? But, I am going to give you a chance, since you decided to tell me about the lose of the amulet knowing the consequences you'd have to face. Considering the other aspects in this case, this person's main goal is to create a conflict within the palace and catch us unguarded at a crucial moment... Remember, this will be your last chance, General."
I bowed in respect, "Many thanks to Your Majesty. This General will not let you down again."
"I doubt that." He didn't hesitate to reply back, passing over another scroll to me. The scroll contained information on the families' interrogation.
The families had given us an important testimony. The mysterious man was very secretive and very sensitive to his surrounding. He never exposed his face during their stay at one of the guards' houses. Even our spies couldn't get closer to him but watch him from afar to make sure he doesn't know that he's been watched. A couple of days ago he disappeared the moment they took their eyes off him. The guards insisted that they had escorted the person out of the city, but the families and our watchers said something completely different. The five guards had received a letter prior to the man's disappearance, to which they had burnt it down later. The family suspects the man's disappearance must have had something to do with this letter that was probably connected to a noble, since the letter had a seal, which was only used by the upper-class citizens of Xu Lin.
Placing back the scroll in the table, I proceeded to pull up a chair and take a seat, "I don't know about the one who's behind all this. But I do know who stole the amulet. I have already assigned someone to keep an eye on them. Also, there's something else I'm suspicious about but I can't say I'm hundred percent sure about it, Your Majesty."
"Go head." He nodded ignoring the fact I had sat down without his permission.
Leaving out some of the information pieces that I had gathered from my previous life, I listed down every other suspicions I held against certain people and their activities, the doubts I had in my heart about the attack two weeks ago, including the messed up information I learnt about Mother Empress but I didn't forget to cut out the obvious parts out.
"You want the Empress Dowager to be investigated?" He questioned seeming to be drilling a hole on my head.
"I just want to confirm my doubts. Recently she had been holed up in her palace. She looked healthy at the banquet but I could tell she seemed a bit tired lately. It may not seem important but certain little things can turn out to be something very big and unexpected. If Your Majesty is against it-"
"No, you have my permission. But I too will take part in this investigation." He stated looking a bit distracted but continued,
"If you're right, we need to be cautious with every step we take and involve a minimum onto the case. Its better to do individual investigations to avoid people catching up on our activities. We should mainly focus on the one who stole the amulet and in no time we'll get a lead on the mastermind."
Standing up from his seat, he grabbed the paper that had his seal. His eyebrows furrowed looking rather displeased,
"Do you see it General? We can't trust anyone right now. Not even our own. But I am willing to trust you on this and you need to stop wavering on your decisions. Because this side of you will only put me on the edge. I don't think I need to tell you anymore."
"Yes, Your Majesty. This General understands." I stood up immediately.
He graciously walked over to the doors but before he could open them, I had done the job for him. Giving me an unimpressed glance he walked out of the room to which I gave an inaudible sigh.
"Come to my bed chambers."
*Thud*
I gently massaged my right shoulder that had hit hard on the doors. I gave a skeptical look to His Majesty, wondering if I heard him correctly.
"Our dear General had become clumsy lately." He said proceeding to head towards his sleeping quarters.
"..."
The Chief Eunuch and the guards at the door kept their heads bowed while covertly glancing between His Majesty and I. I waved my hands motioning them to follow us.
I was feeling kind of tense all the while walking behind him. His Majesty was two or three inches taller than me and he was well-built. His broad shoulders exuded strength just from the back view. By the time we had arrived at his bed chambers, I was still eyeing this fine-looking view with a smile playing on my lips. I could just keep watching him like this for hours and I'd never get tired of it.
"You can leave Shang Dong. Close the doors and make sure to not interrupt us." His Majesty ordered, taking off his outer red robe. In this cold night I started feeling rather hot and sweaty. I looked down to the wooden floor waiting for him to speak up.
Shang Dong had an incredulous expression due to the fact His Majesty had brought someone other than his partners into the bed chambers. He looked pale as he scampered out of the room, not before tightly shutting the doors.
Giving Shang Dong's departing figure a brief scan, his dark eyes caught my quivering ones. I just didn't know what to do but to stand there like a tree that had been struck by lightening.
"Come here."
"Ah?" I whispered dreamily.
"Not only are you clumsy but you're starting to become deaf too?"
I soon woke up from my day dreaming and approached him.
He handed me the paper that had his seal and spoke, "Keep this with you 24/7."
Seeing my baffled face, he explained, "The amulet is stolen. If they know about it, they'd want you arrested but I'd already written an Imperial edict to prevent that..."
He walked behind the folding screen leaving me with a chaotic mind.
He didn't want me arrested?
My eyes narrowed, where was this sudden change in attitude coming from?
There was too much to process so I could only stare at the Imperial edict on my hand as if I'd been thrown into the middle of a dessert.
After a good few minutes he appeared from behind the screen, his loose hair hanging below his waist. It wasn't as long as mine but his jet black hair looked so glossy and healthy. His muscles flexes as he moves, his abs tightly packed together. His stunning body was the result of constant training during these past years. His whole being screamed power.
Why was he only wearing his trousers?
I figured out that he was like me, who only wore trousers to bed.
"Um, this General will take his leave, Your Majesty."
I don't think I could put into words how awkward I was feeling right now. I just wanted to leave and cool off my head before it explodes from too much of heat. However, a warm but strong grip bounded my wrist, my body in it's place, unable to move further.
*Slaps*
My eyes were as round as two saucers and His Majesty's was no different. He looked as shocked as I was. His hand hung in the mid air, a red mark visible on the back of his palm.
"Oh dear god" I muttered to myself.
"I'm sorry Your Majesty. I wasn't..."
It just surprised me when he suddenly grabbed me out of nowhere.
He blinked several times to register what had just happened but soon adjusted his expression. I could clearly see the anger starting to pool in his eyes. His other hand extended towards me, a blue string hanging over his fingers.
I grabbed his amulet feeling more shocked that he's actually willing to entrust it to me. Losing the amulet was like losing the people's trust and respect, but if the Emperor was willing to lend his amulet to me, it shows that I was the most trusted acquaintance of the Emperor. With this, people won't try to cause unnecessary trouble for me.
"This-" Before I could talk, he interfered, "You'll be needing this to secure yourself."
When he finally decided to put his guard down around me and approach me so casually, I had to mess this precious opportunity by slapping his hand away. Not even by mistake would he ever want to casually touch me again.
He turned away, his back facing me, "Looking back to your achievements in the past years, you had watched over Xu Lin and tended to its safety. That's why even if I'm reluctant, I'm willing to entrust the jade to you... But you better know the consequences you'd have to face if you dare to go ahead of yourself because of this little opportunity I've given you. I'll be always watching you General. You can get out now."
And there it goes, everything ruined in just a few seconds.
"This General will keep it in mind. Please have a good rest Your Majesty." I quickly replied leaving the room. I couldn't remember how I returned back to my palace. My legs felt so weak. Shutting the door behind me, I crouched down holding the jade onto my face. Pants escaped my mouth, my heart beating in my ears. The tips of my ears were bright red from being embarrassed.
He seemed to have changed but it's not a drastic change. Since the beginning of my encounter with him in this life, he had been a little different. I chose to ignore it but now I couldn't ignore it anymore. How am I supposed to ignore when he's willing to do all this for me out of the blue? Somehow learning about his little trust in me, I didn't care about anything else. Because that's enough even if he hated me. It was all that was left before, and knowing it's still there, I was happy.
*Purring*
"Baby?" I looked at my little bunny who was at my feet. Tucking in the jade and the Imperial edict into my clothes, I picked her up. She had dust hanging over her fur probably because she was under the bed. I kissed her wiggling nose,
"Baby, you won't believe what I'm about to say. Your stubborn Papa is willing to trust me Baby and that's all I could ask for. I can't believe I got so embarrassed with just this. I can't imagine how it'd be if I had all his attention one day. I'll probably be a stuttering mess due to shock itself!"
I hugged Baby to my chest, grinning from ear to ear.
**********
Red... The hall was covered in a mess of red. The bodies were all cut up, not a single person intact. The servants at the side were trembling in fright. They didn't know who would be next. The man at the throne exuded insanity. His bloody sword was thrown to the floor with a resounding "clang".
"Wei SuYing can't be hurt. Not a single scratch. He is the most priceless treasure I could pick up from Xu Lin."
"Yes, Your Majesty." The Chief Eunuch knelt down.
The Empress down in her knees gently admitted with a soft smile, but her eyes holding a dark glint,
"That's true Your Majesty. No one could match the number one beauty of the eight kingdoms, Wei SuYing. They say his beauty can topple nations and even make the Emperors kneel before him. No man or woman can resist him. But those below him wouldn't dare to look him in the eyes because they consider it a sin. He even tends to wear a mask in the battlefield just so the enemy wouldn't get stunned by his face. To have him as..."
Her smile disappeared when she realises she had spoken too much. The Emperor gave a daunting smile that sent shivers down her spine,
"You seem to know more about him my dear? Now that's unexpected. Are you perhaps interested in him?"
"Never! My body and heart belongs to Your Majesty!" She kowtowed her head hitting the hard floor.
"Hmm as much as his beauty, there is also the fact that he's a beast when it comes to battling. I would love to tame this proud and fearless Wei SuYing. To break him with my touch. To see his formidable self submitting beneath my body. Definitely a fun sight to behold." He licked his lips feeling a surge of excitement down below.
"Ah I can't seem to calm down whenever I think about him. You!" He pointed at his Chief Eunuch,
"Have a few of my male concubines prepared for tonight."
Bonus:
The Emperor, Wei Xiang, who was lying down on his bed, staring at his hand,
For a moment, I thought I almost broke his wrist. It felt so fragile, but fragile...?
He balled his hand into a fist, "He's far from that."
A/N: Hope you enjoy! And I hope everyone's doing good. Please pay attention to everyone's health. See you next week!