ZANDER
The tugging in my chest won't go away.
I wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop feeling it. I didn't want to feel anything. All I could do is run. Run away from everything, just as I always did. I ran when my coven, my family, was attacked. I should have came back and fought with them instead. I ran from my responsibilities. I ran from what I was supposed to be. I'm hiding at the rooftop to run from the sight of the red stained knife. To run from everyone. I just want everything to stop. But being here only makes things worse. All the times we spent here together replays in my head.
She's still out there.
I know it.
No matter how much the voices in my head scream at me to face the possibility, I can't. This tugging feeling in my chest refuses and forces me to get out there and find her. I wanted it to stop because I'm afraid where it could lead me to.
Even before I met her, I felt something pulling me towards her. I don't know what it is, exactly. I just know that it's there and I don't know how to resist its control on me. I remembered being inside Orion's apartment, stuck as a cat, trying to sleep as he loudly watched TV. I had the strong urge to go outside, and that was when I saw her.
There was always that urge that made me want to be near her. At the beginning, I saw it only as a silly, school boy crush that I could brush off. I remembered thinking, so what if she was really pretty and smart and has adorable reactions when I drop gross pick up lines? So what if her laugh makes my heart want to cry just to hear it again? That meant absolutely nothing! I'll get over it!
And then, I didn't.
She broke my curse. I was turned back to my human form and the pull towards her became hard to ignore. She found out what I am, what I can do, and everything that I tried to escape. Instead of running, she stayed and helped me realize my true worth and capability. She'd mention how I follow her everywhere. It's not only because something forces me to, but because she makes me feel like I'm not the weak, useless boy that couldn't do anything right. I don't have to worry about getting things perfect all the time. I don't have to force myself to do things I didn't want to do. I could actually be myself and not feel bad about it. And that maybe, just maybe, I could actually have a life that I want. She made me feel like I actually mattered to someone.
Her and Orion showed me that I'm so much more than what the others said I was.
The moment I stepped a foot back in this awful place, I promised myself I would protect them. I wouldn't run away, just as I did during the attack that killed my mother. Even though she didn't care about me, I was still supposed to protect her and I failed. I can't let it happen again. I promised to become stronger for the people I care about.
And if I follow this unbearable pull and find out that I lost one of them, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
***
ORION
I had a feeling Zander would be at the rooftop. It became his and Astoria's favorite spot in the castle. They were here a couple of nights ago for another late night picnic. They said they wanted to count how many stars they'd see. For science. Obviously, that was just an excuse for them to be here alone.
Roman didn't have the stomach to eat and left dinner as soon as it started. I couldn't do it either. How could I when one of my best friends is possibly dead? We don't know if Astoria is really gone or not. Even though Zetta had obviously done something to her, it didn't mean she killed her. At least, I hoped she hadn't. Scooby said he will look for Astoria as soon as dinner is over and will report back tomorrow to let us know if she's still alive or not, depending if she's still at Queen's Garden or outside it. Nothing is certain right now. I can only hope for the best.
I found Zander sitting at a corner of the rooftop, knees against his chest. His eyes stared into nothing, though violet had been tinted with red. A lavender rose rested between his fingers as a slow, quiet breeze circles around him. The small, old radio and a wrinkled blanket they most likely used from last time remained untouched in the middle of the rooftop.
I sat down on it and faced the witch, sitting diagonally from him. His eyes flickered towards me for a second before they darted back to the rose in his hand. I remembered seeing them all over Astoria's apartment. I never would have figured out they were given by my cat. All this time, he had a crush on her. Now it makes sense why Loki liked my neighbor better than his own owner.
"Zander." He kept his gaze at his hands. "How are you feeling?" For a moment, I thought he'd snap at me for asking such a stupid question. I almost slapped myself too. Of course, he's not feeling well. Why would I even ask?
He took a minute before he replied, though not really answering my question. "Do you think Astoria's dead?"
"Hearing those words don't even sound real." I sighed, shaking my head. "I don't know, Zander. I'm hoping she isn't. It doesn't feel like she is."
"Exactly." He looked at me with darkened eyes. Even though he has shown his vulnerable side to me before, it's disheartening to see it every time. "I feel that too." To see the light of hope in the eyes of someone who loves to make people laugh and spread joy even at a place like this get dimmer with the darkness they keep to themselves. "And I don't just mean like I don't want to believe that she's gone. I really do feel like she's out there somewhere and -- " He paused, running a hand though his messy hair. "You're going to think I'm crazy. It doesn't make sense. I don't know how to explain it, but it's just, there, all the time and I don't know how to not notice it especially now."
I gave him a nod, urging for him to go on.
"There's always a pulling feeling whenever Astoria is around. Something that pulls me to her. Even before I saw her, I felt it. It's how I was able to follow her and know where she is, even as a cat. Whenever she's away, I still feel it, much stronger." He shared, eyes glaring at the lavender rose. "I still feel that pull, Orion. I don't know what it is. I'm not talking metaphorically either. I'm not talking about love or whatever. Yes, I love Astoria but this is just something else. It's like a force or -- " He then shook my head and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Orion. You don't want to hear this. I know she is like a sister to you and it isn't for you either."
While I'm not sure exactly what the pull is that he's talking about, I believed that it's there. I have noticed the strong connection that he and Astoria have, even from the start. I do remember reading about soul mates when I was doing research about sacred beings. It was specifically about werewolves and how important mates are to them. They find their mates through a special connection that only they can sense with their special senses. I wonder if maybe the soulmates thing isn't just for werewolves. Maybe it's for everyone, but it's more common with werewolves because they're the only ones who have special senses that other sacred beings don't have. It's easier for them to find their soulmates. Maybe Zander is talking about that connection. But whether if it's that or not, I didn't want to bring it up because I'm probably wrong anyway.
"So that's why you liked Astoria more than me. I thought it was just because she gives you junk food." I joked, hoping to remove the guilt on his face.
He cracked a small smile as he leaned back on the railing. "That's one of the other reasons."
"Astoria really is like a little sister I never asked for." I shared, crossing my legs for a more comfortable position. "I met her when she and her sister moved in the apartment building. She was barely starting college. We met when Hermione ran to their apartment and tried to eat their hamster."
"They had a hamster?"
"Emphasis on HAD. Hermione kind of killed it. But on her defense, the hamster had a foul smell so could you blame her?" He grinned, shaking his head. "Anyway. She knocked on my door to take back my cat and to cuss me out. She then saw my nerdy collections and forgot about the hamster until she was leaving. We eventually became friends since then. She'd come to me for any nerdy discussions since her sister wasn't interested in the same things she liked. She also found out I worked at Virgo and would always ask me where we hide the aliens and if we could turn her into a superhero. Imagine her disappointment when she started working there and find out it's not as exciting as the movies."
Zander laughed quietly, fiddling with the lavender rose.
"Since we hanged out a lot and became coworkers, I eventually grew close with her family too. Her mom is adorable and sweet, but you also don't want to get her mad. Celeste is pretty nice too. Her dad... well, let's just say Astoria and I would also bond over our discouraging dads. He's not a bad guy or anything. He's just, barely there. And he's not very supportive of Astoria's career choices, just like my own dad."
"I'd join the club if disappointed mother counts." He snorted. "Not sure about my dad. I don't really know where he is." Astoria and I have been wondering about his father. "I never really knew him. I just knew that he left Queen's Garden when I was like, two or something. Don't know what happened to him. Mom never talked about him. Sam never asked. I didn't either."
"Zander, your dad could still be out there." He shrugged his shoulders, eyes fixated on the rose. "Will you ever look for him?"
He shrugged again before answering. "Not sure. I'm not sure what'll happen after this." He sighed. "We have three days. Anything can happen." I noticed the clenching of his jaw then. "At the end, I'll either make it out of here alive, I'll die, or worse, I end up in Queen's Den with everything I tried to leave behind."
"Zander..."
"And it doesn't even matter because if Astoria really is gone, then I lose, no matter what happens."
The wind picked up with every word he let out, calmly yet coldly.
He shut his eyes and hid his face behind his knees. After a few moments, the wind calmed down and we were left in silence.
"Hey." I scooted forward to rest a hand on his arm. "You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay." He gave me a sad smile. "You said Astoria's out there, right? So, let's wait for her. And if... if she's not, then she'd want us to keep fighting. And we're going to win. We got you, we got a lot of people in the castle, witches, werewolves, vampires, angels, working together for the first time, all to form one strong team that's fighting for what and who they love. You and me are going to make sure Astoria doesn't kick our asses for losing hope. You have a bucket list to complete after this, don't you? We'll start as soon as this is all over. As long as you don't go skydiving, I'll be with you."
The witch laughed and playfully slapped my hand off his arm. "I'll make sure skydiving is the first thing we do." He took a deep breath. "Thanks, Orion. You're one of my best friends. I know I told you to leave Queen's Garden one time, but I'm really glad you're here."
I remembered when he talked to me about wanting me to leave Queen's Garden so I could be away from all the danger. Of course, I refused because I wouldn't abandon him. I was also aware that he asked the same to Astoria, and she gave him the same answer. He never suggested that the three of us leave. He was going to stay, knowing what could happen to him. I really do hope that once this all ends, Zander gets the fresh start he deserves.
"Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor..."
The two of us jumped as the radio suddenly began to play music.
"What are you doing?"
"That's not me." Zander showed me his hands and its lack of purple glow, proving that his magic isn't activated. He looks just as confused as I am.
The radio switched to another song as the volume grew a bit louder. "Ra-ra-ah-ah-ah, roma-roma-ma, Gaga, ooh la-la..." We then heard pure static noises for a few seconds until everything stopped. "God damn it I don't know how to - Now? Okay okay okay fuck! Hello? Hello?"
That voice.
There's no way.
"Can anyone hear me? Hello?" We heard a groan at the background. "Nothing! I don't think you're doing this right!"
I felt as if I've been cursed and turned into a statue. Suddenly, I am a Weeping Angel. I feel like if I move or breathe, the voice in the radio will go away.
I know I'm not going crazy because Zander could hear it too. He crawled towards the radio and fidgeted with its buttons, eyes widened and lips parted apart with shock. "Astoria?" All the noises from the device stopped, as if it was never on in the first place. "No no no no come back!" Zander cried out, hands glowing as he moved all the radio's buttons and its antenna.
"Zander?"
Holy shit.
"Oh my god! I hear my precious idiot!"
Holy matter of galaxies.
Zander gasped, looking at me. "That's me! She's talking about me! I'm her precious idiot!" He held the radio against my chest. "Astoria? I'm here!"
"I didn't think it would work! I was going to leave a message that whoever has the radio should give it to you, and pretend I'm a ghost and I'd haunt them if they don't do it! But I got lucky that it's you! That means you're at the rooftop right now right? Because that's where we left it?" I could feel my eyes getting watery just by listening. "Anyway, I hope you're not mourning."
The witch let out a laugh, displaying a 'Can you believe this woman?' expression. "No, darling. We were partying."
She returned with laughter, causing the witch to close his eyes and let out a sigh.
I still couldn't find the energy to move.
Is Astoria really talking to us right now? Through a radio?
How?
How is she doing that? How is she alive? Where in the world is she right now?
"So, I guess I have some explaining to do." I have goosebumps right now. "I'll give you the summary of it because it's a hell of a roller coaster." She paused for a second. "But basically, Zetta had one of the guards take me out of the castle while I was in my room. She wanted to get rid of me because I'm a bad influence on Roman or whatever. She ... well, she probably thinks I'm dead, outside of Queen's Garden. But spoiler alert, I'm not. Samuel found me just a few hours ago, he was coming back from McDonalds - Ow! He stole Roman's motorcycle to eat some burgers and - Stop throwing shit at me!" She screamed on the background, causing Zander and I to look at each other curiously. "Samuel found me and helped me heal. I'm at your house right now eating disgusting soup. Wait, do you drink soup or eat soup? Anyway I'm having soup with weird things in it."
Samuel.
He found her and helped her.
She's okay.
"Just to be clear," I suddenly found my voice again. "You are alive, right?"
"Yes, Cat Daddy. I'm so very much alive. Barely, but alive. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
I never thought I'd be happy to hear that nickname.
She's alive.
"You're at Queen's Garden? At our house, right now?" Zander asked softly, fingers gently running over the radio's buttons.
"I am."
Samuel must have brought her back to Queen's Garden some time after we looked for her.
"I want to see you." Zander whispered, desperation in his voice. "I need to."
Astoria stayed quiet for a while. "Zander. I'm okay. I promise. Wait until tomorrow, okay? There are guards all over right now. They're going to be training I think. It's too risky for you to go out right now. Sam told me about their assembly. Three days until she uses the transporter. So, you know what that means." She waited for a second. "We're in the Endgame now."
"I hope your soup is extra shitty." I glared at the radio as if it was Astoria herself. "For dying and then coming back alive and making that stupid reference."
In the background, we heard another voice. "Hurry up eating and then get some rest."
Astoria then tells us after a sigh, "Samwise is getting tired of using his magic so I'm going. But Orion and Zander," The two of us stared at the radio. "I love you, okay? We're going to be okay. I'll see you soon."
"I love you too." Zander replied instantly, smiling at the device. He then blinked a couple times and stiffened. "Said me and Orion!" He added quickly, face turning pink. "Stay safe. Good night! Bye!"
I suppressed a grin as we heard incoherent noises in the background.
Zander kept a glowing hand on the radio, most likely waiting until all noises stopped. Neither of us were expecting to hear Samuel's voice as it came on.
"She's a tough one, brother."
"Sam." Zander murmured, giving a few seconds of silence as he thought of a response. "Thanks for saving her. I guess." Samuel stayed quiet, giving the younger Farvale a chance to continue. "You're still an asshole though. I hope you enjoyed making out with dirt earlier."
"I knew it was you! You little fuck -- "
The communication abruptly ended then.
As soon as silence took over, Zander and I stared at each other, both in disbelief of what just happened.
He then lightly punched my shoulder before standing up and helping me do the same. Neither of us said anything to each other as we made our way to our rooms. I feel as if I just woke up from a nightmare. This whole day felt like a long one.
"I know your speech earlier about helping me with my bucket list was because we thought Astoria could be dead but even if we know that she's not," Zander kicked his door open. "I'm still taking you with me to go skydiving. First thing to do. After we win."
I could only sigh and nod.
"Wait. Who's going to tell Roman that Astoria's okay?"
The witch stuck his head out the door. "Do you have a Ouija board by any chance? Maybe we could make one. Let's play it with him tomorrow."
I already know what he's planning on doing.
"Zander, no."
"Zander, yes."
Once I made it to my room, I made sure to shove my face against a pillow and let out a good scream.
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a/n: what, you don't scream into a pillow before sleeping? pfft.