"Yes, it's okay," Aura whispered into her husband's mouth, as she struggled with the buttons on his crisp white shirt. The wedding started mellow, and ended on a high note, with everyone becoming aware of the Smiths expecting a child. Their colleague and friend, Sherridan Davos, had played a beautiful song at the piano, for the couple's first dance. Erwin had used all the opportunities he could, to tell his bride how much he loved her and to hold her close to himself.
By the end of the reception, he was drunk and drooling over his wife, repeating time and again as to how lucky he was to have her. It was funny for the Cadets to watch their Commander sky-high and dancing with his wife.
"You're so smart," they overheard him complimenting her in the middle of the party, "you designed a way to get my arm to grow back. I just.. Aura, I just wish my arm grows back in time for me to hold our baby. That way, you wouldn't have to do all the work by yourself."
"I just don't want to hurt you," Erwin said, with a pout as Aura continued with her quest for sex. They were in the Commander's chamber at the Palace. "You wouldn't.." she stopped midway, as he looked up at her, his eyes filled with lust.
"I need you," was all that he had to say to get Aura to start working on his clothes again. He stank of alcohol as he spoke to her, with his head buried in her neck. But, Aura was too eager to consummate the marriage, if that is how she had to put it. She had sat herself across his legs on a chair and started to dress him out of his wedding suit.
"You looked absolutely numbing today," he whispered softly, breathing in her scent, "I couldn't take my eyes off you. Neither could I look at you directly without blushing. Oh, look at me! I'm still blushing. What are you doing to me? Is this one of the romantic novels you read? Are we the protagonists?"
"Okay," Aura laughed out, holding his face up, "you're very, very drunk, aren't you? Let's go, sleep." She stood up and pulled him by his hand. He stood up too, still very dizzy and latched onto his wife's shoulder. "I love you, baby girl," he whispered as she walked him to the bedroom, "I can't imagine my life without you. I don't ever want to be away from you. Ever, okay?"
"Yes, of course." Aura put him down on the bed and was about to leave to change her clothes. But, he pulled her back to the bed with him. "Mmm.." he moaned into her mouth, as he kissed her, his fingers in her hair.
"Did you think you can take that dress off by yourself? Don't you want your husband to see how beautiful you looked without it?"He put his lips back on hers without waiting for an answer. The reciprocating lust in her eyes was enough answer for him.
His hand explored behind her, trying to find the zipper of her wedding dress. When he did, he used all his strength to pull it down, freeing her body from the tight dress she had been in the entire day.
"Lie down," he patted the bed beside him as she discarded the fabric. She complied and he bent over her to kiss her lips. "Now, remember," he squeezed in some words in between smooches, "if you ever feel like I'm hurting you, you just have to tell me. I'll stop." "Why are you sounding exactly like the first time we slept together?" she asked, blushing. "This is the first time we're sleeping together," he replied, smiling, "as Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
He heaved down on her again, sinking his teeth in her bottom lip. "Mmmm.." she moaned, as he took his lips to trail down to her neck. Taking just a little bit of her flesh in between his teeth, he sucked at the skin, wishing to leave a mark behind. He remembered her speaking against it, but did not know how to stop.
When she did not forbid him, he continued. He soon left the skin at her neck, leaving the mark he had desired to see on her, and trailed down to her breasts. Her breath hitched as he rolled his wet tongue over one of her nipples and went around it, trailing a circle with it. "Oh, Erwin," she moaned, breathing his name out in a soft murmur. He took it as a cue and shifted to her other breast, without taking his tongue off her, even for once.
"Oh my God," she cried out as he dragged down to between her legs and kissed on her there. His tongue played around with her clitoris, as she kept purring his name out. "Er..wi...nn.. baby, baby," she kept whimpering, with a fistful of his hair in her hand, as he devoured her with all his vigor, until she was royally scattered on the bed.
"Oh, baby," she acknowledged him as he came up beside her, plopping herself on her arm, "you were so good to me." She smiled. Wishing to return the favor, she slowly trailed her fingers southwards on his chest.
"No," he stopped her midway, "I'm very, very tired right now. We can do me tomorrow, okay? Come here, let's go to sleep." "Are you sure?" she asked, letting her hand rest where it was. "Yes," he replied, curling up to her and shut his eyes. Aura followed suite.
The next thing Aura saw was an empty room. The sunlight pierced through the window on her left, forming shadows on the floor with the flapping curtain. Dust particles floated in the light that shined through the glass.
She rolled over to the other side, thinking about the events post-Shiganshina. Erwin had already expressed his desires to move to a city inside Wall Sina and have a house of their own. She smiled at the thought of it. A house of their own, and a beautiful family with a beautiful man. She did not get the chance to ever plan a family before.
Erwin's ruthlessness in the battle for humanity had always barred her from expecting a family with him. But, now, everything seemed so perfect. Everything would be perfect, at least for the next eight to nine years. Up until she starts forgetting everything, like her father did.
She sighed, sitting up on the bed. Where was Erwin? She cracked her knuckles as the duvet fell off her, reminding her of the beautiful night they had. The marks of love-making had remained on her skin; she had not let them heal. She craved to see him, return the last night's favor if he was up for it.
She took up his shirt from the chair and put it on. She found him as soon as she came out of the bedroom. Desolate, he stood near a window with a cigarette burning out in between two of his fingers. "Erwin?" she called out to him, eager to know why he was smoking.
"Oh," he quickly put it away when he noticed her, "I'm so sorry. I didn't notice you were awake." He waved through the smoke, attempting very hard to send it out.
"What's up?" she asked, walking towards him.
"Nothing. It's nothing. I have a very important meeting in a couple of hours. I was just a little anxious."
"Getting back to work the day after the wedding, huh, Commander? Look at you, so busy." She sank into his chest as he met her midway.
"No, more like putting an end to going back to work."
He smiled down at her, as she looked up at him confused. "What do you mean?" she asked, smiling.
He sighed. "I'm retiring.. effective today."
Aura broke out of the embrace. "What do you mean effective today? What about Shiganshina?"
"I'm handing it over to Hange. She'll know what to do."
Aura took a few steps backward, trying to understand what was going on. "But.. why?"
"I have a family to look out for now. I can't go around risking my life anymore. And, if I was able-bodied, I wouldn't have considered it. But with one arm missing, how much probability do I have to survive? I can't take such a huge risk, Aura."
"What about the soldiers? Will they be motivated in your absence?"
"Of course they will be. They'll have Hange."
"But.. but.. Erwin.. this is so unlike you. You're always the one leading the soldiers, demise or not. And.. and.. what about your dream? Jaeger's basement? You want to go there, don't you?"
"Well.." he sighed, "you got to make some compromises for your family, right? This is my compromise."
"No.." Aura almost screamed, "I can't let you do that, okay? I can't be the one holding you back."
She had tears in her eyes. She had feared this very moment ever since Levi disclosed her pregnancy in front of everyone.
"You're not.. you've never held me back. It takes a lot of guts to encourage the person you love to risk their lives in pursuit of a long-lost dream. You love me, don't you?"
"Of course I do." Aura's tears had brimmed, knowing no bounds.
"Then, let me retire. I want to protect my family. I want to be able to live long enough to see my child. I don't want to leave you alone, while I'm away in Shiganshina. Aura? You understand, right?"
Aura kept quiet for a while. Her heartbeat pounded on the inside of her chest as she quickly made a decision. "Aura?" Erwin's voice brought her attention back, "you understand, right?"
"Erwin.." she rubbed her tears off, determined to finally set all her secrets free, "what if I come with you?"
"Where?"
"To Shiganshina. For the expedition."
Erwin chuckled. "You choose the weirdest times to make a joke, honey. Although, if it was to lift my mood.."
"I'm serious, Erwin."
Erwin's expressions changed. He looked at her with angst, not knowing how to respond. "I don't understand. Why would you?"
"I can be of use on the field."
"You don't even know how to use the ODM gear!"
"I'll learn. How hard could it be?"
"You are kidding me, right? I mean.. why do you need to go in the first..? I don't understand the point of this conversation, Aura." His tone sounded vexed, while his eyes tried to search answers on her face.
Aura took a huge gulp of thin air, her throat drying up.
The knot at the base of her throat was so palpable, she felt like throwing up. And she knew it was not just her morning sickness. If guilt had a characteristic odour, she would have been reeking of it.
"Can you prepone your meeting? There's something everyone should know." She told him, her fingernails clenching into her palms.
"Can I know first?" He asked solemnly, still trying to figure it out.
"You wouldn't believe until I show you."
The sound of her voice was coarse, making her cough up. Erwin rushed back to the table to get her a glass of water, that she drank gratefully.
"Thank you," she could not even look up to meet Erwin's eyes anymore.
Erwin ended up preponing the meeting. The Section Commanders and Captains gathered in the Palace grounds, along with the Commanders Pixis and Zacharly. The Queen was requested to join too.
Levi had come rushing when he heard of the assembly requested by Aura. "What are you doing?" he asked, shoving her by the elbow. He pulled her into a corner to question her.
She looked at him dismally, "I'm going to let out my secret. I'm going to tell everyone about my Shifter ability."
"Damn it, Aura," the Captain kicked at the wall beside her legs, "the main reason I decided to step on your boundaries yesterday and tell everyone about your pregnancy was to stop Erwin to come to Shiganshina. I thought if he didn't come, you wouldn't either. God, Aura! What happened?"
"Well.." she smiled at the freshly mowed grass, "your plan had worked. He was going to retire when he called the first meeting. But, I had.."
"You had to change his mind, didn't you? Tsk, Aura! I'm tired of you right now. Why can't you just be happy with what you have?"
"Levi, is that what Erwin taught you all these years? To give up on the fight for humanity whenever convenient? And.. if not now, a few years later, my abilities would manifest by themselves. He would have noticed scars and marks going missing in a couple of hours, broken limbs getting healed quickly. When I start losing my mind like my father did, I may even shift unknowingly. What about then? What if nobody believes him when he claims to have known nothing about it? I can't have him labelled as a traitor. And to not use my powers for the.."
"Aura?" Hange's voice startled her to a pause, "I think they're ready for whatever you have to say."
Aura had never felt so nude in all her life. Everyone's piercing eyes held questions that'd still be questions, after she showed them her true nature. She still could not meet Erwin's eyes, as he stood in front of the formation, facing her directly. He had a cool demeanor, and she knew that hidden underneath it, was a heart full of anguish.
"Umm.." she hesitated, "thank you, all, for coming here. Before I say what I'm about to say, I just want everyone to consider my association with the Survey Corps for the last ten years. And.. oh God.. I also want to clarify that, nobody in the Survey Corps knew about this before now. Nobody! Not even my husband." Tears emerged in her eyes again, as she continued, "please.. don't see me as a traitor. Because I'm not. I had to hide this because.. it wasn't my secret to tell.. not until recent times. And I'm revealing it now because.. I want to be of use in the upcoming battle."
Aura finally looked up at Erwin, her face the same kind of wet as the day before. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this," her voice was only a mere whisper, as her flexor muscles involuntarily pulled her wrist up to her mouth. Closing her eyes, she sank her teeth into it.
A lighting bolt shot into the sky, as Aura's petite body transformed into the mammoth Titan, that was her family heirloom. In front of Erwin's eyes, she finally revealed the secret that had the power to single-handedly ruin their marriage, his position in the SC, his reputation as a loyal soldier, and everything else around them. The audience she had invited, stood dumbfounded, as she grew to her full potential, with a head full of black hair, a stitched mouth and a colossal hammer, that looked like it was made out of her own skin.
"Erwin," Commander Pixis was the first to address him in the face of newfound knowledge, "I gather that you had no knowledge of this, am I right?" He only nodded. Erwin had not shifted his eyes for even a split second from the giant that stood in front of him.
Somehow, he had to convince himself that it was his wife. And, he did not know how to do that. This changed everything. Everything that he knew and believed about Aura, and their relationship, was all washed down the drain.
She may have not been a traitor to the cause of humanity, that was left for the higher officials to decide. But he couldn't stop thinking about how she betrayed him for all these years. Erwin felt like crying his heart out, but the arms he wanted to go to, would never be the same again.
The Commander in him took center stage, when he spoke back to Pixis. "I could develop a new formation with her," he said, his heart heavy with grief. "Erwin," the old man patted his shoulder, "take your time, okay? This shouldn't have to happen, but it looks like this is how it is. Don't make rash decisions. Think it through, talk to her. Talk to your subordinates. Talk to us. Don't make a decision out of sorrow."
Erwin nodded again, and left the old man standing to go talk to Levi and Hange. Before he could even reach them, a flock of Military Police appeared out of nowhere in the air. With their blades drawn out of their ODM gear, they charged straight at Aura's Titan. "No, stop," Erwin's command was just a little late to reach them, as they flew from the Palace walls towards the Titan's shoulders. "Aura," he screamed again, "cover your nape."
She obliged. Her hammer fell with a thud on the grass, and her hands raised to cover the back of her neck. In a couple of seconds, she changed her mind. When the officers stood on her shoulders, waiting for an instruction to kill, she drew her hands out from the back of her head and, raised them up in the air.
"I don't want to kill," she thought to herself, "I don't even want to save myself from you, if ever you decide to execute me. I just want to show you that I'm on your side. So, I'm surrendering. I'm going to let you all decide my fate hereafter."
"What are you doing?" Erwin questioned in a whisper. Levi and Hange had walked up to him in the midst of the mess. The fallen hammer had already started to evaporate, like any Titan skin would. "Erwin," Levi addressed him, "your orders?"
The tall man looked down at him, and for a whole minute, he just stared blankly at the Lance Corporal. "I don't know," he finally said.
"You should talk to her," Hange spoke, "we should talk to her. Erwin, there's another Titan on our side. Our chances.."
"She's my pregnant wife, Hange," Erwin interrupted.
"So.. your orders?" Levi asked again.
He stayed quiet for a while, looking up at the stitched mouth of the War Hammer Titan. His gaze slowly shifted to the MPs sitting perched on her shoulders, and the arms she had raised. Was that a white flag, he wondered.
"Get away from her," he screamed at the MPs, "she's harmless." When they obliged, he waved his working hand at her again, "come out of that shell. We'll need to speak with you."
"Hange," he spoke to his supposed successor, "when she comes out, I need you to isolate her in a room, away from the soldiers and.. myself. I need you to interrogate her with whatever questions you deem fit. Captain Levi, you may accompany Section Commander Hange, if you wish to.."
He was intervened by the sudden loud thud that emerged from the huge body of the Titan falling on the ground, as Aura appeared at the nape, covered in blood and gore.
Hange and Levi rushed to pull her out. When they did, the blood vessels and sinews tore off from underneath her eyes, leaving their marks there. As she opened her eyes, the steam rising from her fallen shell blocked her view of the man she loved. She stood up with the help of her friends only to fall back down again.
Her stomach rumbled inside her body, making her throw up the previous night's dinner. She clutched at her chest, emptying her guts out into the space she came out from. "Hot! Hot! Hot!" Hange screamed as the heat from the Titan hurt her feet, "come on, Aura."
When she got back down on the grass, she threw up again. Sherridan and Mrs. Tubrey, who had come down to join the audience, rushed to her aid. "Child," her mother addressed her, "why did you think this was a good idea?"
"Soldiers!" They heard Erwin's commanding voice, "get back to your chambers and prepare to return to the Urvud camp. We'll return as soon as we can."
He walked up to where everyone had gathered around Aura, and spoke in general, "we need to leave as soon as we can. So, everyone should be getting ready. I plan on leaving early tomorrow morning. So, everyone should be packed and ready to go by tonight."
"Erwin," Aura stopped him as he started to walk away. Sherridan gave her a hand as she had difficulty standing straight up. "The order applies to you too," he said, without looking directly at her, and was about to walk away. But her next words stopped him again, "why are you speaking to me like I'm.. someone else?"
He looked up at her finally, and in a melancholic voice, asked, "aren't you?" And left.
"Hey," Sherridan spoke with Aura, as she packed her stuff. Erwin had informed that he would be out for an hour, and had allotted that time for Aura to finish packing up in the room they had spent their wedding night in. "It was a very brave decision, Aura," she said, "and very generous. It makes me mad that you decided to spoil everything for yourself by doing this, but you're doing everyone a huge favor. And, don't worry, Erwin will come around. You're the love of his life."
"It's totally fair for him to never want to speak to me again," Aura said, wiping the tears that had not stopped falling ever since Connie had given her Erwin's message, "I mean.. I kept him in the shadow for 10 years. His work could have progressed so much only if I had told him about my family. He would have ensured the safety of my mother and me, before taking action against my father. Only if I had the courage before!"
She sat down on the floor, wiping her runny nose with a piece of cloth. Sherridan joined her, and rubbed her shoulders, "it's okay, honey. You were only protecting your mother and yourself. And even Erwin, to a huge extent. He just doesn't see it now. He'll soon come to terms with this."
Hange had stayed with Aura in the room where she had been isolated. She was thoroughly shocked by the revelation of the day and had very few words, if none at all, to describe her surprise. Being a close friend of Aura, she had always seen her as an over-sharing person. Aura even accepted that as one of her flaws that she wished to change. How such a girl could keep a secret this big, surprised Hange to her bones. She could not even figure out what all she had to ask her friend, to get more information about her situation.
"So.." she started with that many times, and then left without asking anything at all. "Sit down," Aura finally replied, "I'll tell you everything." When she did, Hange finally realized how many clues she dropped over the years, and how nobody picked them up. She could not believe how Erwin never suspected over the years. Maybe he was just so blinded by his love for Aura, that he could never imagine her lying to him about anything.
"Hange," she spoke calmly, over the knot at the base of her throat, "the only reason I couldn't tell anybody when my father possessed the power, was because I wanted to protect my mother and myself. I saw how Aaron plummeted to his demise, and then to death because of how my father treated him day in, day out. My mom was mistreated on a daily basis, she lived in fear every day. Until my father finally lost his memories, which, as far as I know, comes along as a side-effect of having this power. And then, when I took it up, I couldn't bring myself to tell Erwin that I'd be around only for 13 years. And.. I still can't. I guess wanting to marry him was a very selfish decision. I should have gone far far away from him. I wanted to, you know. But.. I just.. I wanted to see him so bad."
They left the Capital the next morning. Commander Erwin Smith led his army back to Orvud. The gale of the wedding had died with the appearance of the War Hammer Titan, and the soldiers had all donned their green capes that fluttered with the wind, as their horses galloped back to their camp.
Captain Levi Ackerman, Hange Zöe and the other Section Commanders led their squads, as they followed Erwin. And Aura Tubrey Smith sat inside a covered carriage, like a captive, with Sherridan Davos on watch. With three weeks left before the Battle of Shiganshina, and an unexpected ace up their sleeve, the Survey Corps breathed new enthusiasm.