WARNING! this story (as a whole, not just this chapter) contains mentions of: self-injury, mental illness, foul language, sexual themes, and other mature content.
Reader will go by the name "Seo Ah"
Lets hop to it then.
~~~~~
READER POV
I groaned, rolling over in bed, eyes still tightly shut with grogginess.
My phone buzzed loudly again. Remind me why I set my phone ringer to such an obnoxious frequency? Oh right, I never did.
I flung my hand around wildly, searching for my phone in the consuming darkness and sea of blankets. I finally found it, hissing when the overly bright light from my phone reached my still tired eyes.
I was greeted by a couple notifications on my screen, the latest one being from Snapchat. I opened it up, seeing what it said.
ImmaBUrAngle added you as a friend!
Wait, who? I thought, looking closer at the screen. Did they do a typo? Is it supposed to Angel instead of Angle? Oh well.
I was about to switch off my phone, only to have it buzz again, screen lighting back up.
ImmaBUrAngle sent you a message!
I furrowed my brows, not recognizing the username. Eh, what the heck. I thought, tapping on the message to open it.
-
3:34am
ImmaBUrAngle: you know what they say
My brows stayed furrowed, still as confused as ever, ultimately deciding to respond.
4EvrAlone: uuhhh no what do they say
ImmaBUrAngle: a real doctor wouldn't put the pickle fork in the cheese drawer
4EvrAlone: okay who and why the actual fuck
ImmaBUrAngle: hEY
4EvrAlone: hELLO
4EvrAlone: WHY ARE WE YELLING
ImmaBUrAngle: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN
4EvrAlone: okay, whomst'd've and why the actual fuck?
4EvrAlone: also bold of you to assume I'm both young and a man
ImmaBUrAngle: stfu ur a whole ass three years younger than me, dick-twitch
4EvrAlone: excuse me sir, ill have you know my dick is in fact NOT twitching, mainly because I don't have one
4EvrAlone: also, who was the one who got on my ass about cussing?
ImmaBUrAngle: oh ill get on your ass, don't you worry
4EvrAlone: gross
ImmaBUrAngle: wtf is wrong with you tonight
ImmaBUrAngle: who am I kidding theres something wrong with you every night
ImmaBUrAngle: I was only messaging u to let u know that I got the stupid banana milk you asked for you ungrateful little shit
ImmaBUrAngle: also practice starts at 6am this morning sharp, don't be late again, ass-crack
4EvrAlone: hold up
4EvrAlone: idk who tf u think ur talking to but I am not going to a practice today at 6, and I sure as hell did not ask for some stanky ass banana milk
4EvrAlone: also why did you message me so late/early
4EvrAlone: oh my god
4EvrAlone: im fucking dumb
4EvrAlone: I literally just realized
4EvrAlone: who the fuck even are you
ImmaBUrAngle: kook I stg if you don't drop this wise-guy act, I will come to your room and personally butt fuck you
4EvrAlone: woah woah my butt is not getting fucked tonight
ImmaBUrAngle: oh so any other night is fine?
4EvrAlone: look, whoever you think you're texting, I'm not them, so go talk to whoever you think I am to clear all this up. happy butt fucking.
-
And with that I shut off my phone, sighing heavily. Within a matter of seconds, my heavy lidded eyes fluttered closed and I finally slipped back into a dream-free slumber.
****
Less than three hours later, I was rudely awakened again by another furious bout of buzzing from my phone. My hand slammed on top of my phone and slowly dragged it to my face, squinty eyes making out another Snapchat notification from ImmaBUrAngle.
-
6:09am
ImmaBUrAngle: uhhh so this is awkward
4EvrAlone: took ur ass long enough
ImmaBUrAngle: I mean my ass IS long, but-
ImmaBUrAngle: im sry I didn't believe you when you said you weren't him.
4EvrAlone: who did you even think I was anyways?
ImmaBUrAngle: unimportant.
4EvrAlone: again. why the actual fuck are you up so early again? did you even sleep?
4EvrAlone: btw, how was the butt fucking?
4EvrAlone: actually u know what idek why I'm sacrificing my precious few hours of sleep, I don't even know you.
ImmaBUrAngle: wAIT WAIT
4EvrAlone: hmm?
ImmaBUrAngle: u could know me if you wanted to ;)
4EvrAlone: ew gtfo
ImmaBUrAngle: cmon you know you can't resist me
4EvrAlone: actually I'm pretty sure I can
4EvrAlone: I don't even know your name or what you look like.
ImmaBUrAngle: you wanna know my name? well, you need to. how else will you be screaming my name ;)
4EvrAlone: easy, I won't be.
ImmaBUrAngle: hard to get huh?
4EvrAlone: mmm more like easy to not get at all
4EvrAlone: ever.
ImmaBUrAngle: Sunshine.
4EvrAlone: disgusting
4EvrAlone: don't call me that ever again
ImmaBUrAngle: no, thats my name. well not rly, but I want you to call me that.
ImmaBUrAngle: but there are plenty of things I could call you if you'd like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
4EvrAlone: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮
ImmaBUrAngle: is that a tiny dick or a middle finger-
⟶4EvrAlone changed ImmaBUrAngle's name to TinyBananaMilkPenis!
TinyBananaMilkPenis: RUDE
⟶TinyBananaMilkPenis changed 4EvrAlone's name to SaltyHoe!
SaltyHoe: oh, im the salty one?
TinyBananaMilkPenis: yea its ur name and everything
SaltyHoe:
TinyBananaMilkPenis: yo what is yoongi doing on ur phone
TinyBananaMilkPenis: yOU SAID YOU WERENT KOOK
TinyBananaMilkPenis: YOU LITTLE SHIT
TinyBananaMilkPenis: YOU BEST GET READY FOR THE ULTIMATE ASS WHOOPING WHEN U GET BACK FROM THE BATHROOM
SaltyHoe: wym
SaltyHoe: I'm literally at home in my bed sleeping
SaltyHoe: oh thats right
SaltyHoe: im not sleeping anymore
SaltyHoe: cuz some tiny-dicked Tumblr boy decided to message me angrily at 6 am
SaltyHoe: brilliant
TinyBananaMilkPenis: h-hey...
TinyBananaMilkPenis: i don't have a tiny penis and I quit Tumblr like a week ago so leave me tf alone
SaltyHoe: okay
TinyBananaMilkPenis: wait I was kidding-
Read At 6:16am
TinyBananaMilkPenis: come back
TinyBananaMilkPenis: ╥﹏╥
SaltyHoe: change my name to something nice and ill consider talking to you again
TinyBananaMilkPenis: but ur talking to me rn-
SaltyHoe: don't fucking test me
TinyBananaMilkPenis: okAY OKAY sorry
⟶TinyBananaMilkPenis changed SaltyHoe's name to SomethingNice-'ღ'-!
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: I said nOT TO TEST ME
TinyBananaMilkPenis: well tell me your name and ill change it to that
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: nice try creep
TinyBananaMilkPenis: im not a creep!!! ;-;
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: says the 56 year old old man stalking a 20 year old girl
TinyBananaMilkPenis: ah, so you're 20?
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: point proven
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: case closed
TinyBananaMilkPenis: jesus fuck-
TinyBananaMilkPenis: thats not what I meant and you know it
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: do I?
TinyBananaMilkPenis: yes I think you do
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: fine
SomethingNice-'ღ'-: my name is Seo Ah
TinyBananaMilkPenis: pretty...
⟶Send? [yes] [no]
⟶TinyBananaMilkPenis changed SomethingNice-'ღ'-'s name to SeoWhat!
TinyBananaMilkPenis: see what I did there
SeoWhat: ....
TinyBananaMilkPenis: ♡
SeoWhat: ew
TinyBananaMilkPenis: what do you always say ew to me showing affection for
SeoWhat: hmmm maybe its cuz I "met" you less than 8 hours ago?
TinyBananaMilkPenis: fair
TinyBananaMilkPenis: well then
TinyBananaMilkPenis: lets get to know each other so we're not strangers anymore!
SeoWhat: what like 20 questions or something?
TinyBananaMilkPenis: sure
SeoWhat: okay, you start then
TinyBananaMilkPenis: when is ur bday?
SeoWhat: July 29, you?
TinyBananaMilkPenis: February 18
SeoWhat: do you believe in the existence of aliens
TinyBananaMilkPenis: no, but I believe in the existence of you and me
SeoWhat:
TinyBananaMilkPenis: where did you get that picture of me
SeoWhat: funny
TinyBananaMilkPenis: ???
SeoWhat: u rly think you're THE Jung Hoseok??
SeoWhat: the legend
SeoWhat: the icon
SeoWhat: the inspiration
SeoWhat: the g o d
TinyBananaMilkPenis: okay so don't freak out
TinyBananaMilkPenis: highkey didn't want you to finding out so soon
TinyBananaMilkPenis: but uhhh, hey?? Jung Hoseok, at your service??
SeoWhat:
SeoWhat: I'm not in the mood to play these games
TinyBananaMilkPenis: I really am him
TinyBananaMilkPenis: wait so do you know bts cuz u have a lot of pics of us, not to mention me
SeoWhat: I live for their music, and yes, I do have a lot of pictures of Jung Hoseok, not you, whoever you may be.
TinyBananaMilkPenis: I swear to you, I am Jung Hoseok. J-hope. Hobi.
TinyBananaMilkPenis: what do I have to do to prove it to you?
SeoWhat: send a selfie
SeoWhat: plz don't be naked
SeoWhat: well if you were really him I wouldn't mind-
SeoWhat: but you're not so don't
TinyBananaMilkPenis:
SeoWhat: well done
SeoWhat: you know how to use the internet
TinyBananaMilkPenis: bUT IM HIM I PROMISEEEEE
TinyBananaMilkPenis: search everywhere you'd like, twitter, Insta, snapchat, google, pornhub, I don't give a shit, you won't find that picture anywhere except on your phone because I literally just took it
SeoWhat: again
TinyBananaMilkPenis: ???
SeoWhat: do it again
TinyBananaMilkPenis: do what
SeoWhat: send a picture of you again
TinyBananaMilkPenis: with or without closes on? ;)
SeoWhat: I don't give a fuck just send one that I can't find anywhere else
TinyBananaMilkPenis:
SeoWhat: 1) where did your headband go 2) where did they come from 3) did they know you took/sent that picture for/to me 4) where did ur jacket go
TinyBananaMilkPenis: woah woah woah
TinyBananaMilkPenis: whats with all the questions
SeoWhat: well shit
SeoWhat: idk
SeoWhat: I may or may not be talking to my favorite person on the face of this earth, so idk you tell me whats up with all the questions huh??
TinyBananaMilkPenis: ok ok geez
TinyBananaMilkPenis: 1) I took it off 2) they just came in 3) no 4) I took it off too
SeoWhat: ur kidding
SeoWhat: this has to be a joke
TinyBananaMilkPenis: the only joke here is you :)
SeoWhat: fuck off
TinyBananaMilkPenis: (◕︵◕)
SeoWhat: Unfuck off or whatever
TinyBananaMilkPenis: <(￣︶￣)>
SeoWhat: shit, its literally 7:30 in the morning
SeoWhat: do u know how fuckin early that is
SeoWhat: I need to sleep, I've got class in like two hours
SeoWhat: gn
TinyBananaMilkPenis: gn luv
⟶Send? [yes] [no]
TinyBananaMilkPenis: night
-
~~~~~~
it has been done.
love,
J-Queen