Candlelight flickered deviously across the walls of the cavernous anti chamber as Susan, submerged deep within an underground cave, breathed in the warm wet air and did her best to get the crowd under control.
Blinking through the singular spotlight, she took a long drink of water from behind the podium, she was well into the second hour of her speech and they were right where she wanted them.
'JUSTICE, JUSTICE, JUSTICE,' they chanted.
'Thank you, thank you, please settle down,'
Susan wiped the sweat and wet hair from her forehead as another wave of body heat generated from the thousand people in attendance consumed her - the smell of damp cave and sweat penetrated everything.
Alan swooped above the masses urging her to continue.
'I'd like to end, if I may, with a story that was told to me by our one true Creator.'
'JUSTICE, JUSTICE, JUSTICE,' the crowd bayed.
'There were once two accountants working at the same firm who went for the same promotion. They were each equal in every way and both had equally loving partners, who cared for them, loved them and just did nice little things for them from time to time - like create oxygen and an intricate respiratory system so you can breathe.'
The chanting died down to a low, confused murmur.
'One accountant would go home each night and cook their partner a delicious meal, rub their feet and worship them with blood sacrifices. The other accountant just walked around like they owned the place, never giving one solitary bean for all the hard work and sacrifice their partner made, as if the Heaven and Earth just made itself - they didn't even offer to clean up afterwards.'
Silence.
'Finally, when judgement was passed at work, the worshipful accountant was showered with riches and a nice corner office, possibly with membership to a nice gym and spa with big fluffy towels to relax with after work. The selfish accountant died painfully of syphilis. Amen.'
A single cough broke the silence.
'And, um, that's why we will never rest until Abaddon is behind bars and there is JUSTICE FOR EARTH!'
The crowd erupted in cheer.
'Thank you, please also give offerings in the name of Alan, thank you, thank you!'
'JUSTICE, JUSTICE, JUSTICE,'
Susan left the stage to rapturous applause, saluting the baying crowd as she disappeared from their sight.
She took a moment to catch her breath as Kali handed her a towel and cold bottle of water.
'That felt like it went well,' said Susan. 'I always liked Germany.'
'We're in Belarus,' said Kali wearily.
'Oh my,' said Susan
'Then tomorrow it's Lithuania, then Latvia and Estonia before we head over to Finland and start the Scandinavian part of the tour.'
'Oh my,' said Susan exhausted.
Since meeting Pembo it had all been a bit of a whirlwind. She had accepted her offer with absolutely no idea on how she could deliver on her promise, but Susan had fully committed to the responsibility of being Alan's apostle and saving humanity, so she accepted that wouldn't be without it's challenges.
Naturally, Justice for Earth wanted proof that she could deliver, so she bought herself a couple of days grace and rushed home to Alan.
'He did what?' Squawked Alan.
'He took credit for your miracle, my Creator, he places himself above all others on this planet. Quite frankly he really is a bit of a shit.'
'I bet it was the fault of that loathsome, untrustworthy atheist. You humans will pay dearly for this betrayal,' he flapped in rage.
'But my Creator, there is still a way of defeating him and getting you the worshippers you deserve,' pleaded Susan.
Alan ruffled his feathers, 'Go on...'
'My Creator,' she knelt down beside him. 'I have gathered some powerful followers, whom...'
'No you haven't,' interrupted Alan.
'I, excuse me?'
'If you had gathered some powerful followers then they would have already worshipped in my name, and no worship has been registered, so they can't be powerful followers.'
Susan paused for a second, caught in her lie.
'Well, no I suppose not then, I guess they are yet to be converted but they could be powerful allies and can make starting your religion so much quicker, I just need to ask one small favour.' She said, hopeful.
Alan let out a frustrated coo as he paced the Ming Imperial table.
'I've explained this to you, Susan the Unworthy. I cannot just show myself to your kind to prove my existence and as much as I would like, I can not kill this Abaddon for you. You must find another way.'
'No, no, no nothing like that, I just need to prove that I know where Abaddon will be next Tuesday at four pm.'
'Oh,' said Alan relieved. 'Okay give me a second.'
Darwin hopped about the table, confused to find himself out of his cage, but before he could take advantage of his newfound freedom, it was cruelly taken away from him.
'Abaddon will be visiting the site of his private presidential shuttle near Fort Dodge, Iowa next Tuesday at four pm.' Said Alan breezily.
'My word,' gasped Susan. 'You can see into the future?'
'What? No, I looked at his private secretary's calendar.'
'Oh,' said Susan, disappointed. 'Of course.'
After that, all Susan had to do was duly notify Pembo of Abaddon's movements, wait for her information to be confirmed accurate and she was welcomed in as an honorary member of Justice for Earth. She packed her things and joined them the very next day.
To begin with, she just shadowed Pembo, watching and learning how she took control of the crowd. She found Pembo harsh and regimented in her teaching. Deep down she knew she wasn't doing this because she believed in Alan or the plight of humanity, she just wanted the information on Abaddon, but she was upholding her end of the bargain and if Susan was going to succeed in her noble task then she would have to learn to be a lot more like Pembo.
Before she knew it she was being invited on stage to address her first baying bloodthirsty crowd.
Confused was probably the best way to describe their reaction to her teachings. The word of Alan wasn't exactly the reason all those people had turned up, which would explain their mixed response, but with Pembo by her side and under the banner of Justice for Earth she was given the time and attention she desperately needed to get her message across.
Before going on stage she would replay Pembo's advice over and over again in her head.
'Remember why they are in front of you, they're angry, they demand justice and above all they hate Abaddon, if you can't weave your new message into those key pillars, you'll lose them'
'Keep building the momentum, learn to get them to a fever pitch before you bring in a new concept and if you start to lose them, bring it back round to Abaddon.'
That was easier said than done when Alan was insistent on having at least one of his parables recited each night, yet somehow it was working, with well over two months remaining, she was converting followers each week and each week Alan's registered worship grew a little more.
As her confidence in front of a crowd grew, she started to take on more of what Pembo had taught her, she adjusted and changed her message as the crowd reacted.
Pembo had predicted a downturn in support once training for the evacuation had begun and she was rarely wrong. Numbers dwindled in the weeks that followed, but they were still far greater than anything Susan could have hoped to achieve on her own, so she rolled up her sleeves and made the best of the opportunity.
She did her very best to convert Kali, Pembo and the other members of Justice for Earth to Alanism and they humoured her to a point, but she could see in their eyes they were just keeping her happy because of what they wanted later on down the line. A thought Susan pushed deep to the back of her mind; a bridge she was in no rush to cross.
Susan closed the curtain of a smaller cave that acted as her dressing room and finally sat down. The cold damp stone providing a cooling antidote to the sauna of the stage.
'The numbers are in and it's working!' Squawked Alan, 'it's actually working! Keep going, Susan the Unworthy, you do your species proud.'
He fluttered over to the rock opposite her.
'Worship is being registered in my name, so build on this momentum and bring in my flock,' he chuckled, fluttering up into the air.
'I will gladly give you the full diary of this Abaddon if it means this continues.'
Alan twirled and danced in the air as Susan watched him with a nagging sense of doubt.
'My creator,' she said hesitantly. 'Can the killing of someone ever be justified?'
Alan perched himself on the rock and took a moment to think. If he played this right it would be one of those moments that would appear in the glorious retelling of his saving of humanity. Possibly the very foundation on how these idiots would live their lives; the beginnings of his own Ten Commandments, so he'd better make it something noble - noble but vague.
'My dear Susan, tis easier to tell a child what to do, than to teach it the value of right and wrong. For what price the mortal soul?'
Alan watched as Susan pondered his words. 'Nailed it,' he thought.
'Save your people, Susan,' he continued, 'save their mortal souls!'
He had no idea where this was coming from but it was pure gold!
Susan sat against the cold stone and contemplated her part in the demise of President Abaddon.
'What price the mortal soul?'