Ben looked pale.
'I lied to you, I didn't force you into this engagement to get my mom off my back or even to get Tallie out of my life. I did it to try and rid myself of Snoke once and for all.'
'So Tallie isn't the ex girlfriend from hell?' Rey asked.
'She's a piece of work and she didn't want to accept that things were over between us, but no she isn't dangerous.'
'Ben! I was ready to claw her eyes out at the party! You should have told me the truth.'
Ben looked forlorn.
'Rey, I'm so sorry. You're right. I should have told you everything from the start. No wait, what I should have done, is never have pulled you into this whole fucking mess in the first place.'
Rey was mad but she also couldn't stop her heart from going out to Ben. Her love for him refused to be silent.
Stupid heart.
'Yes well, I'm here now and we can't change that. The least you can do is make sure I know everything so I'm prepared if Snoke decides to make another move against me.' She insisted.
'I swear Rey, he won't harm you. He likes to play with people. Fuck them up in the head. He's been doing it to me for years. Now he thinks he can do the same to you, but you're so much stronger than me. The way you stood up to him right now, you were amazing. Whenever I'm around him, I just revert back to being a scared little boy.'
Rey looked at Ben sympathetically. He sat down on the sofa and put his head in his heads. Rey sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently.
'Tell me everything.' She coaxed.
'When I first met Snoke, I was fresh out of uni. I was young and naive. He offered to take me on as an apprentice of sorts. Teach me everything he knew. I was flattered by his attention and I learned so much under his tutelage, but it was after he announced that he wanted me to become his heir that things got...intense.
I always thought he saw me as the son he never had, but it's more than that. It's like I'm a possession to him, some way to continue his legacy even after his death. I never wanted his fortune, I didn't and still don't want any of it, but I was afraid to lose my position at the company. I was so scared of being a nobody again, that I just avoided the subject. Such a fucking cowardly move.
He wanted me to live with him, I refused. His compromise was he wanted to know where I was every minute of the day, he despised my family, said they were holding me back. He has constantly tried to get me to cut all ties with them. He would tell me I could be truly great but I had to learn to let go in order to achieve that. I was torn between my desire to succeed and my growing hatred of Snoke. I see my job as a prison now, an extension of the control Snoke exercises over me, that's why I hate it so much. I realised with horror that I was starting to slip away, I thought perhaps I might never be myself again and then...'
'Then what?' Rey asked, hanging on his every word.
'And then you came into my life and everything changed.' Ben said turning to look at her.
'From the moment I first met you, little pieces of the Ben I used to be flew back into place and I felt...like me again.
When you got that ring stuck on your finger, an idea burned brightly in my mind and I saw it as my chance to be free of Snoke once and for all. I thought to myself maybe if he thought I was seriously involved with someone he would back off.
I told him that same day that I was set to marry you and that you wanted me to leave the company. I handed in my notice. He objected of course, but I held my ground. I know it sounds silly but I felt stronger knowing I had in my corner, even if I had backed you into it.
When he had someone break into your flat. I couldn't believe he would stoop so low, then sending someone here to place that rose...'
Ben's hands balled into fists.
'Why didn't you just leave? Why go back to work for him?' Rey asked.
Ben looked broken.
'I have no choice. He has me under contract. I have to work my notice period or he could make life very difficult for me. He'd drag me through the courts until I was flat broke. I know now he won't release me and he won't stop torturing us.
I can see that all of this was futile, even if I do manage to keep up this pretence between me and you until the end of my notice period, he'll never stop. I need to let you go Rey. I should never have gotten you into this.'
So that's what all this was about. She was just a means of escaping a difficult relationship, just not the one she thought. But he had kissed her.
Twice.
Surely that meant something?
She needed to know if it did before she decided what her next move would be.
'Do you care about me at all Ben? Do I mean anything to you? Or was I just a means to an end?'
'No. That's not all you are at me...'
'Then tell me how you feel, because I can't work it out.'
'I told myself it was just a business arrangement. I told myself it was just until I got free of Snoke. But that was a lie. All I've done for weeks is lie to you, to my family and to myself.'
'Then tell me the truth Ben.' Rey said firmly.
'Don't you understand? Don't you see? I love you.'
Rey froze. 'What?'
Ben sat down on the edge of the sofa and rubbed his eyes with his right hand. He turned to look at her once more. His eyes were red and beseeching.
'I said I love you. I've always loved you. I've loved you since the very first moment you walked into my office with a tray full of tea and biscuits and announced you were my new PA and you'd never seen such a state of an office. I love everything about you, I love the way you don't take any of my shit. I love the way you chew your pen caps, I love the way you hum along to the radio while you type up minutes, and I love fighting with you, god, how I love fighting with you every goddamn day, I can't help it Rey. I just love you, all of you.'
'I don't understand....' Rey said.
'Of course you don't. I don't fucking understand so why would you? I'm a fucking coward Rey. Day after day I could have said something to you but I was so afraid of being rejected. So afraid you wouldn't want me that I never said a fucking word about it. Then you went and got that ring stuck on your finger, and I should have treated you with kindness. I should have helped you when you asked me to, but instead I used you for my own selfish reasons. One being my need to escape from Snoke, and the other being that I've longed to be close to you for so long, that I couldn't say no when the opportunity presented itself. I'm scum Rey and I'm sorry I did this to you.'
Rey blinked and tried to process all the information Ben had given her in a very short space of time.
'You....you've been in love with me all this time. All this time?' She asked incredulously.
Ben nodded.
'The whole time?'
'Yes.'
'What about that time you made me work the whole weekend?'
'I thought maybe if you spent some time alone with me....we could get to talking....maybe it would lead to something...' Ben shrugged.
'You barked orders at me the whole weekend!'
'I was nervous! I never knew how to act around you!' Ben bellowed as he started to pace the floor.
Rey folded her arms across her chest.
'You could stop shouting at me, that would be a pretty good start.'
'I'm sorry.' Ben said sitting back down and lowering his head.
Rey looked at him. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him. A bit.
She sat down on the sofa next to him.
'Do you want to leave?' Ben asked.
'No.' She said.
'You don't have to be afraid. You can leave if you want to.'
'I don't want to.'
'Come on Rey, no one is this fucking nice. Are you honestly telling me if that ring wasn't still stuck on your finger, you wouldn't walk out of here right now and never look back?'
Rey stood up, took the ring off her finger, then slipped it back on again. Ben stared at her.
'Don't misunderstand me Ben. I'm mad. Infact I'm livid. I honestly don't think I've ever been this angry in my life. But I also love you and because of that, I won't abandon you when you need me the most.'
'What?'
'I said I won't abandon you.'
'No, the other part.'
'I said I love you, you absolute idiot.'
Ben stood up and crushed her to his chest.
'I never thought you would feel the same way.' He murmured.
'It came on gradually at first, then it hit me like a freight train. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was afraid.' Rey confessed.
'W-when did the ring came loose?' He asked.
'That night you were blind drunk.' She smirked.
'Why didn't you tell me?'
'I don't know, I wanted to but...'
But I'm a fucking coward too. I didn't know if you would still want me and I wasn't ready to let you go.
Instead of saying that, she pulled away from Ben and placed the ring in his hand.
Ben twirled it around in his fingers.
Rey's heart sped up as she watched him play with the ring.
'So, what do we do now?' She asked.
'We find a way to rid ourselves of Snoke for good. I feel strong enough to do it now. Knowing I truly have you by my side.'
Rey smiled and nodded.
'But first, there's a question I want to ask you.'
Rey's mouth fell open as Ben dropped to one knee before her.
**********
Rey trembled as Ben took her hand in his.
'My sweet Rey, I've never been happier than when I was fake engaged to you. I want to fight with you everyday for the rest of my life. Would you please do me the great honour of agreeing to marry me? No deals, no tricks, no lies, just because I love you and you love me.'
'On one condition.' Rey replied.
'Name it.'
'I never have to tidy up after you, ever again.'
Ben laughed and stood up, hugging Rey to him and twirling her in his arms.
'You're too good for me, but I can't help it, I love you.' He said.
'And I you.'
Rey kissed him, then pressed her forehead to his. Their problems all seemed small now that she knew Ben felt the same way about her. She felt as if there was nothing they couldn't face together. Nothing they couldn't accomplish.
'Okay, now we've sorted all this out, we need to figure out what we've going to do about the asshole who won't take no for an answer.' Rey said with determination.
Ben buried his head into Rey's shoulder and she stroked his hair.
'I think I have an idea.' She murmured. 'Let's go see your mother.'
**********