The moment she laid her eyes on the little child who immediately clang and called her “mommy”, her tears rolled down her face again. She kneed down to level with the little one and gave back the hug Grace giving her.
She felt horrible. This precious one in her arms is her daughter and she felt her stomach flipped the moment she remembered the times she denied her in her face. How she insisted in her little mind that she is not her mother. That she chose to believed another man’s lie over her own daughter.
She cried harder when she heard Grace asked her worriedly. “Are you alright? Why are you crying?”
Then she answered her “Oh my gosh sweetheart. I’m really sorry.”
The little one wiggled out her embrace then looked back at her. “what are you saying sorry for, mommy?”
“um..”
She didn’t know what to say. It’s just, she felt horrible and she can’t put it in words. What she’s feeling is very complicated; too many emotions.
When she didn’t answer for a while, she heard Shine spoke.
“um. Sweetheart, you called her mommy? Right?” Shine asked Grace while helping her standing.
The little one nodded.
“You see, from now on, mommy will stay here with you.” Shine told Grace slowly and gently.
Grace’ eyes twinkled for a moment then a frown formed in her beautiful face.
“what’s wrong?” she heard her ate asked.
“She’ll live with us?”
“Yes baby.”
“hm. Is that fine, mommy?” the little one is now looking back at her again.
She frowned on Grace’ little inquiry. She wiped her tears away before answering. “of course, why?” she wanted to sound sweet, but it sounded slightly desperate.
“Hm. It’s just you’re not my mommy, right? You told me that you have to be with someone else.”
That broke her heart again. This is something she insisted in her. Her tears resurfaced. She kneed again to hug her little child.
“And that is the reason why mommy said her sorry a while ago.” Then she heard his voice; from the one who just stood before them and watched their little exchange. From the man who just stare at her.
She lifted her face to see him walking slowly to them. Her heart skipped a beat whenever he stepped forward. Then she watched him kneed before them and gently make her daughter faced him; untangling her from her embrace in the process.
She watched as he gently talked to her daughter.
“Mommy was sick when you first met her. That’s why she didn’t remember you. But you always remember her, right?”
Grace nodded.
“So.. now that mommy already remembered you, she’s going to live with you so she can take care of you.”
“really?!” the little child beamed.
“Yes. I always told you that mommy loves you.”
“I love you too mommy.” The little one beamed back to her then hugged her tightly. “I’ll take care of you too.”
“I love you” she whispered to the little child then gave her head little kisses.
If she’ll just look up, she can see Gerald wiping his tears away.
…
“what’s wrong?” he heard Shine asked him.
“She still can’t remember, can she?” he asked back.
They are now talking in the garden while Sarah and his daughter are taking their time in Sarah’s new room. She still needs to take a rest because of the ordeal she took a while ago, but that didn’t stop the two girls to bond more.
“I’m supposed to surprise your daughter but mostly you when I brought her home but it turns out I’m the one who’s surprised. You both know her already?!” Shine retort back.
He sighed.
“We met her six days ago. During ate’s company team building. She’s working there so she is with the team. There, Grace saw her, you know that Grace knows how she looks like, and that’s why she claimed that she is her mom. But of course, Sarah denied it. She can’t remember.”
“How about you?”
“What about me?”
“How did you handle it? How the hell you didn’t tell me?”
“At first, I thought I’m just imagining her, and then when I snapped, I hesitate to know her. My goodness ate, how am I supposed to react on that? My wife denied me, and claiming being the wife of another man. But then I decided that I’ll do everything to prove that she’s my wife. There, I insisted it in her, or maybe I pushed her too hard. So.. I think, we’re not in good terms right now. By the way, how the hell did you convince her that she is your sister?”
“It’s just Matt can’t tell lies anymore, or I might say suddenly.”
“Who the hell is Matt?”
“Her.. um. The husband”
“You know him?!”
“Yeah, he is her childhood friend.”
“Damn!”
“I don’t know if she believes me that’s why she came with me or she just doesn’t have any choice since I’m the only one who’s with her when she dealt with him.”
“I think that’s the latter.”
“Don’t be too hard. What’s wrong with you by the way? I expect you.. more.. excited, hyper, happy!”
“Of course I’m happy. It’s just, I promised her not to push her anymore. You do know that the moment I saw her in my front door, I wanted to hug her and will never let go. It’s just her eyes told me something. She’s still confused, lost and all. I just..”
“Hey.” Shine stopped him babbling.
He looked at Shine and wiped the tears rolled down his face without him knowing.
“It’s fine. She’s back.”
“Yeah, she is. And that’s all that matter.” He said.
…
He is standing just outside her room silently watching the two women in his life thru the open door. The two are talking animatedly. He smiles watching his Sarah smiled at their daughter’s antics. He lovingly watched as Sarah hugged Grace gently and lovingly. He knows that Sarah is feeling guilty for the past six days she spent with Grace.
He knows that it hurts her whenever she’ll remember her words before for her.
“Baby, I’m not your mom. Okay? You can call me tita.” She smilingly told Grace.
“Don’t worry baby girl, you have a lot of time now to make it up to her. Baby steps baby girl.” He gently whispered.
His musing was interrupted when someone shoved him out of the way and practically dragged him inside the room. Shine walked briskly inside while talking to someone on the phone. By the way she talked; he knows who she is talking to.
He looked up to see Sarah and Grace looking at Shine curiously and expectantly.
“I’m telling the truth, mom!” Shine excitedly told someone over the phone.
He noticed the little frown that formed on Sarah’s face. He knows she’s still confused and everything happened is too much for her to handle within just a day.
Though he wanted to give her little space, that didn’t stop him from walking to her, sit on the bed beside her and say “Hey, it’s fine.”
She looked at him the moment those words came out from his mouth. He can still see confusion but he can also decipher some fear in there.
“Mom wanted to talk to you.” Then Shine informed the woman beside him.
A bigger frown form on her face and she didn’t take the phone yet. He sighed then took the phone instead.
“Mom, it’s Gerald.” He answered.
“Is it true?! Come on, I wanted to talk to her.” He knows that the woman on the other line is already crying.
“Yes. She’s here po. It’s just..”
“Come on Gerald… Please..”
“You’ll be here tomorrow, right?”
“After this news? of course! Actually we’re planning to go right now. Can I talk to her now?”
“Oh… It’s just..” he looked up to her again to see her looking worriedly at him. He knows that she’s not ready yet. He understands that she needs time and he’ll give it. Even time from him, he’ll gladly give it.
“excuse me” he said to his co-occupants in the room. Grace and Sarah just looked at him and Shine nodded in understanding.
“Mommy, please understand..” he started once he’s out of the room. Where he knows Sarah and Grace can’t hear whatever conversation they’ll have.
“what do I have to understand? Don’t do this to us Gerald, that’s my daughter we’re talking about.”
“I know po. It’s just, many things happened to her today. I think it would be best if she’ll take it step by step.”
“What do you mean by many things happened to her?”
“It’s a long story. I promise that you can talk to her tomorrow when you got here.”
“We’ll be there maybe in 4 hours.”
“Bear me some hours more. Go here tomorrow; I’ll talk to her tonight.”
Silence.
“for Sarah.” He added.
Then he heard murmur from the other line, he can say that she’s talking to someone else; maybe talking to her husband.
He heard a sigh next.
“Fine. We’ll be there tomorrow morning.”
“Thank you mommy, daddy.”
“It’s a miracle that she’s back after all.”
“Indeed.” He whispered.
…
He walked back to her room to find the 2 adults gently tucking his Grace to bed. Tears suddenly resurfaced from the scene he’s seeing then immediately wiped it away when he heard Grace called him.
“daddy.”
He walked up to his daughter and kissed her goodnight.
“So you’re going to sleep with your mommy, princess? By the way, lola, lolo and tito Gab will be here tomorrow morning.” He excitedly informed his daughter.
“Really daddy? Yeyyy!”
He smiled and looked up to the woman sitting on the other side of the bed smiling lovingly down to Grace. Oh, how long he wished this may happen?
“Goodnight princess.” Then he heard Shine bid her goodnight as well.
“Goodnight Ge.” Then she walked to Sarah and hugged her tight. “Goodnight pot.” He heard her utter. “I missed you.”
He smiled hearing those words. He knows how close Sarah and Shine was. Sarah actually thinks of her as her best friend.
When Shine already got out of the room, and the three of them remained, an awkward silence dominated before Grace sleepily ask something.
“mommy, daddy, can we sleep together here?”
He immediately looked up to Sarah to see her eyes widening from the sudden request. He wanted to laugh at her reaction but he chose not to. He forced himself to make a serious face.
“”Um. Baby, maybe next time.. um.. I’m still..” he started.
“Of course sweetheart.” He heard her cut in. He looked up at her and she’s looking at their daughter lovingly; obviously instantly recovered from the surprised reaction she just displayed.
He knows that she’s starting to make it up to her. He knows that she’ll do everything she can for her now.
He smiled. “of course, indeed.”
…
He’s now standing on their balcony. He glanced back inside the room and smiled seeing his Grace tightly embraced by his Sarah.
My Sarah.
He can’t feel her, her Sarah to be exact since as of now, he’s giving her time. He accepted the fact that it’s not the right time for him; for his love. And he is starting to think that his love is what she needs the least.
She’s been in love with someone else and it’s like they just broke up and if he do his move, it would be like he’s a rebound, a rebound who’s taking advantage on her feelings.
Really, it’s unfair. It’s like everyone else; everything else is just an addition in her life. Like Grace, her parents, her sisters, her brother, her friends. They didn’t need to replace someone else in her life; in her two-year life because as far as she remembers, she doesn’t have any of those.
But him?
He needs to replace the husband in her life. And he knows that she can’t do that in an instant. She can’t just forget the man she learned to love for two years and maybe up to now.
Tears suddenly resurfaced when those thoughts run in his mind. His wife loving another man is really hurtful plus the fact that she doesn’t remember him.
It’s really too much for him. But he remembers telling Shine that all those didn’t matter. Because having her back is all that matters to him.
And that’s the truth.
Hurtful it may be, but he has to accept the fact. It’s not that he’s giving her up or something because that would be ridiculous, it’s just he’ll give her time, space if necessary and everything she may needs in the process.
He’ll wait for her.
His train of thoughts interrupted when someone stood beside him. He looked up to see Sarah staring just ahead of them.
“’can’t sleep?” he asked after a while.
“yeah.” She quietly answered. “you?”
“same.”
“right.”
“by the way, your parents will be here tomorrow morning.”
“yeah, I heard.”
“You want me to brief you?”
“Huh?”
“It’s just, I understand that these are too much for you. I know that what you’ve known is your parents are already dead. So.. I just thought that having them here tomorrow will shook you a little bit.. so I wanted to…” he started nonstop.
“You know…” then she cut him.
He stopped from babbling then stared at her while waiting for her to continue.
“I already know that what you’ve said is the truth.”
“what? When?” he asked surprised.
“This morning. When I woke up. I saw you in my dream. My nightmare actually, that’s how I called it.”
“We talked after that, right? Then..”
“It’s just..”
Then his heart skipped a beat. It’s not because she said something that flatters his heart but it is otherwise.
“It’s just you chose him.” He finished for her.
“You can’t expect me to believe you and abandon my everything, you know.”
“your everything? He’s not your everything!” he exclaimed, slowly losing his cool.
“He is. He is my everything. He is the only one who’s with me for two years. He is the one who’s in my life. He is my life for two years.” Answering him softly.
He scoffed. “It’s because he lied to you.”
“I know. I know that. That’s why I’m here. That’s why even though it hurts so much; I chose to be in the truth; the truth that crushing me, the truth that’s killing me.”
Hearing those words from her really hit his heart. It’s like she is hurting because of them, that she can’t do anything about it, that she just have no other choice.
That is if she has other choice, then she’ll be out of here immediately.
“Please don’t say that” he begged, looking ahead of them. He can’t bear seeing her like that; like she’s begging to let her go because he can’t do that. He’ll never do that.
“I’m sorry.” Then she cried.
He grabbed her to hug her. He can’t stand seeing her like that. “It’s fine baby girl. It’s fine.”
Then she continued crying in his arms.
Yes, he indeed dreamt her in his arms again, but not like this. He wanted her in his arms happy not like feeling helpless.
Now that his theory is right, or so he thought, that she needs his love the least, he sighed and says “Everything will be fine.”
He decided that he’ll help her taking baby steps even though if it means him as just her friend.
Tears then rolled down on his face as well.
He’s fine with her accepting only Grace in her life, for now.