Makena's POV
As I sit here and watch him place all his clothes in a small section of the closet, and one-half of the dresser drawers, I find that I am not too fond of sharing a room with him.
As I watch him work, I started to think about everything that's going on. I wasn't sure if I could ever have feelings for him since I've hated him for so long. How can a woman love someone that has been the focus of most of her nightmares? All of that was just from high school. Now he's done much worse... He's shackled me to a table without food or water for three days and expects me to follow every damn rule he's made. I move over to the window and stare out into the darkness. I actually found myself doing it a great deal as I try to come to terms with everything he has been doing to me. I mean what else could I do as he kept me locked away for hours in this bedroom.
I heard him leave the room, not knowing when he would return I turn toward my closet to grab some PJ's, as it was getting rather late. I knew he would get upset if I wasn't ready for bed when he got back. I wondered what he does when he's not here with me, but shook the thought right out of my head as fast as I could. I didn't want to care about him, because if I cared about something so little then there was a chance that I could care a lot.
Standing in the closet, I scanned the racks where his clothes now hung; I've never shared anything with a man before. I had plans to move in with Malcolm after the wedding, but it never happened. That was actually when I ended up moving in with Suri and Jake, as I had already turned in my notice and the place had already been leased to someone else. So, I still had to move somewhere!
I selected a pair of black cotton drawstring pants paired with a black John Deere t-shirt for the top. I usually sleep in a tank top but figured that might give him the wrong idea so I had to remain covered.
I walked back into the bathroom and turned on the bath. I wanted a nice long soak in some nice warm water so I tested the temp and clogged the drain. Adding some relaxing lavender bubbles to help me unwind so I can get some sleep tonight. After all, I was going to be sleeping in the same bed as him and that thought scared me beyond words. On top of that, he was giving me no choice about it.
After about 45 minutes I was done soaking, and I got out of the bathtub, dripping water onto the mat. I grabbed a towel from the rack and dried myself off, wrapping the towel around my long hair and squeezing the water out. I put on my selected PJ clothes and walk into the room where I smack into his bare chest. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, trying to get a grip on myself, because I mean that was one amazing-looking chest. Boy, this man really took care of himself, I pulled myself away from his chiseled six-pack and gazed up in his face, where I found him smirking back at me.
"It's quite all right, I mean I should be used to you running into me by now." He spoke through a huge smile. He made me want to smack that ridiculous grin off of his face. I mean seriously, I'm not sure we're at that stage yet if we were together at all.
"Oh, yeah! No offense taken" I whisper turning to walk away, only to have his hand grip my wrist and hold me in place. This was his signature move with me.
"Where do you think you are going, my love?" He asks still talking through the smirk on his face.
"Oh well, I was just going to climb into bed, Jesse!" I had given up arguing with him about the damn nickname. He was never going to stop using it anyway.
He tugs gently on my wrist pulling me back into his grasp, wrapping his huge bulky arms around my tiny body. I stood still, letting him do what he wanted as I didn't want to piss him off by trying to get away. I could feel shivers running down my spine as he breathed hot air down my neck. "I'm really sorry, Makena! I'm truly sorry. I just want to make you mine forever." He whispered into my ear, I felt that he wouldn't be letting me go anytime soon.
He nudges my body, forcing me to turn around and face him. I placed both of my hands on his bare chest, feeling his warmth on my palms, trying to keep some distance between us. I glance up at him as he bends down and kisses my lips. I let him kiss me, I could tell it made him happy as he deepened the kiss, bringing me closer to him, his arms around my waist.
"Good night, my love! I will be right there after I take a shower!" He released me, disappearing into the bathroom. I walked over to the bed, pulled the covers back, and climbed in.
*****
Opening my eyes I flinch back on instinct, as I realized his face was mere inches away from mine. He was quietly snoring, and I could see he was dreaming because his lips curved in a small smile. I started to get up from the bed before I felt him wrap his arms around my body and pull me back so that we were spooning position. I immediately froze up as I tried to calm down my breathing and racing heartbeat.
I could feel his hardness pressing into my lower back just above my butt. This was somewhat uncomfortable for me since I hadn't really done this before, so I didn't know what to do. My breath hitches as I feel him run his finger along my bare arm softly sending goosebumps down it causing me to shiver.
"Good morning, my love," he said in a cheerful tone, and I could just imagine the smile on his face as he said the words.
"Good morning."
"So tell me, how did you sleep last night?" He asked against the back of my neck, sending his hot breath down my back. It was making me feel uneasy as I felt heat forming in certain parts of my body.
"Fine, I slept fine!" I answered him in my annoyed tone since I really needed to pee. "Um, I need to use the bathroom!"
"Hold it..."
It was more of an order than a request. I knew better than to argue back, so I let out a long sigh and stayed there in his arms trying to stop myself from peeing the bed. He probably was annoyed by the attitude I just gave him. You see, we've been sharing the room for several days now. Even though he hasn't tried to make actual love with me, he has suggested it numerous times, and I have felt his erections plenty of times. It always made me feel so much more nervous around him.
I've actually made a total fool of myself one time when he began to inch his fingers up my shirt on my bare skin as we were kissing. I let my hands do what they wanted, and they went straight for his trousers, and he put a stop to it all right there, even leaving the room for several hours, sneaking back in after I had gone to bed and was fast asleep. I wasn't pissed at all, but it did make me wonder why? I thought that was what he wanted in all of this, what he was after! I guess I was wrong, and it made me look at him differently after that.
"Okay, I guess I will let you go to the bathroom now! I actually need to go as well!" he growls out as he releases me, and he heads straight to the bathroom. I sit up in bed and notice he left the bathroom door wide open. I stand up and can hear him releasing his bladder contents into the toilet, eew gross. I go ahead and go into the closet, and I pick out a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt to wear over them. Walking out I head into the bathroom hoping he was done, I needed a shower. As I walked into the room I noticed the shower running, he was in there again? I really needed to go, so I wondered if I should risk it.
"Go ahead and use the bathroom Makena, I'll be done in a minute and then you can have a shower, I just needed to make it go down." It dawned on me at that time he was taking a cold shower to calm his body down. Licking my lips, I decided to put my clothes down on the counter and turn around to use the toilet, glad that the noise of the shower hid mine quite well. After I have finished, I stand up and pull up my PJs just in time for him to open the shower curtain.
I felt my cheeks flush bright red as I got a full-frontal view of him in his entire nakedness. Unsure of what to do, I turned around and walked out of the door trying to get the image out of my head. Oh my God, did he look good. It was so good that the first thought to enter my head was a sinful one. I was more than a little embarrassed if I am being honest.
As I looked out of the window, I heard him come out of the bathroom, but I didn't turn around in case he was still very naked. I could feel my cheeks warm up as I thought about his yummy body, sending the warming sensation straight to my womanhood and I was filled with butterflies. I noticed the reflection of his figure in the glass. He gave me a gentle tug on my shoulder, and I noticed the smug look on his face as I turned around. "What was that?" I looked down, and as my eyes traveled down his body, I was thankful he had dressed.
"What was what?" I asked innocently.
"Why did you run away like that?" He asks me, I gulp some air, still refusing to look into his eyes.
"Oh, that... I guess you could say I was embarrassed."
"Embarrassed?" He looked a little shocked, perhaps confused by my sudden announcement.
"Yes, Jesse... Embarrassed! Look I've never really been intimate with anyone before. I mean, not really. The only time I was ever intimate with a man before was a drunken evening with Malcolm. I was so drunk that I don't really remember it, so yeah, I was a bit embarrassed." I say sitting there with my head held low, feeling ashamed when he reaches down and pulls me to my feet. He cups his hand under my jaw, forcing me to look at him. His eyes are filled with a mixture of emotions I cannot describe.
"So you're telling me you've only been with one person? Only that once? And you don't even remember it?" He looked amazed.
"Yes, that's what I'm saying here!"
"Wow, so you've never really seen a man naked like that? Like ever?" He asks with wide eyes.
"Nope... I had actually decided to save myself for marriage. I figured my future husband would appreciate my choice."
He studies me, "wow, that's so cool... This is awesome!" he exclaims while grabbing my wrist and pulling me into a tight hug, I was so confused. "Well, I'm going to grab some breakfast since I am super busy today! I'm helping Curtis with grabbing his girl and will be back afterward. We will talk then, right?"
"right."
Afterward, he places a soft kiss on my forehead, then walks out the door whistling. I heard the lock click in the silence of the room and let out a breath I hadn't even realized I had been holding.