It was a humid summer night, and even with the swamp cooler and the fan blowing you were drenched in sweat, mostly from his body on top of yours.
It didn’t take much effort on your part, he hardly noticed you were even there anymore, so you had all but given up on trying to make sex any better.
It was nice when you and Jun first started dating, even good sometimes, but now 3 years in and it was more like a chore. You would get into bed at night, once maybe twice a week, he would press himself against your back, lazily sprinkle a few kisses on your neck, then roll you over and get on top of you. Sometimes he didn’t even bother taking his clothes off.
After he was done (which thankfully didn’t take long most of the time) he would roll back into his spot and close his eyes. You used to cuddle up next to him, press yourself against his side and stroke his chest, wondering if he would possibly let you have some fun, too. He would always sigh, and tell you he was tired and maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow never came.
Now, you didn’t even ask for that, you just went to the bathroom to clean up. The first couple times it happened you cried, but after awhile you got over it. You told yourself this is what happens in long term relationships, it wasn’t a big deal, at least you had his companionship.
Although that was starting to suffer now, too. You worked, and when you came home he was there already eating a pack of noodles or a frozen meal, not having thought to make you any. You talked about the mundane aspects of your day, sometimes you watched TV together before bed.
“This is what being in a relationship is all about” You told yourself again and again. “This is normal, it can’t be exciting all the time.”
This is what ran through your mind on that hot, sticky night, so lost in it that you almost forgot where you were until the groan in your ear brought you back. As always, he rolled away onto his back and caught his breath.
“Can I ask you something?” You spoke into the quiet bedroom, and he rolled his head toward you and half-opened his eyes.
“I’m too tired tonight, maybe t-”
You stopped him. “Not that.”
He opened his eyes more and blinked at you, waiting.
“Are you happy?”
He laughed.”What do you mean?”
You shrugged and stared at the ceiling. “I mean just in general, with how things are.”
He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your temple, but it made you feel uneasy.
“You think too much.”
You dropped the subject and got up to head for the shower.
The next day you sat at work, the only interesting part of your life. Technically a desk job, but a desk job at a top tier music company that saw a lot of talent. You organized meetings, made arrangements for talent, fielded phone calls between the company and other big time brands, and got to interact with interesting people. These days, you preferred being at your job than at home.
And through this job, you had made friends in the industry, not only with other behind-the-scenes types, but the musicians themselves, and you were grateful for their company and their loyalty. They appreciated the work you put in to make their jobs easier, and you had forged great connections in the process.
Today, your favorite group of boys were returning from a short vacation after having gone on tour, and it had been 3 months since they had come in. They were gearing up for more recording and comebacks, and you were going to be seeing a lot of them again, and sadly it was the most exciting part of your life right now.
When they shuffled in the door, they all greeted you warmly, and hung around the front receptionist area you worked at to chat and catch up. They looked well-rested, and you were relieved.
“I hope you got a lot of sleep.” You said, and they murmured in the affirmative. Suddenly a voice from down the hall in the practice room called out to them, and you knew they had to get to work.
As they all idled away, Minhyuk hung back for a moment, leaning over your desk and placing a small square box down.
“What’s this?” You asked, picking it up.
“A souvenir” He grinned.
“You guys didn’t have to bring me anything.” You laughed,
“It’s not from them,” He said, shaking his head, “It’s from me.”
You suddenly felt heat in your cheeks and lowered your head in an attempt to conceal it.
“Minhyuk, hurry up!” someone called from the back.
“I hope you like it.” He smiled as he walked backward away from the desk before turning and hopping away.
You stared at the box and felt excitement, though not wanting to get too worked up. It was just a simple gesture, from someone sweet like Minhyuk who had always been that way. In fact, out of all the boys he’d been the most attentive toward you. If he wasn’t busy, he’d come by your desk just to chat. On company outings he always wanted to sit by you at dinner. On more than one occasion, when the choreography had started coming together, he would pull you away from your work and insist you watch “to get a female perspective” on certain moves.
You lifted the lid off the tiny box and there, on a bed of soft cotton, lay a seashell necklace, white with sandy pink across the edge. You took it in your hands and felt it was real, and your stomach did something strange at the sight of it.
You admired it for longer than you’d like to admit, and finally pushed it into a safe spot so you could get some work done, though it had drastically improved your mood for the day.
Just before you left for the day, Minhyuk reappeared, more disheveled than when he’d gotten there as he’d obviously been practicing, but he glowed with warmth and energy.
“Do you like it?” He asked, practically beaming.
You pulled the box out and smiled back at him. “I love it, thank you so much.”
“I found it in a little shop on the beach in Jeju. It reminded me of you.”
You could feel the blush creeping up your neck again. “That’s very sweet of you.”
“Do you want me to help you put it on?” He asked, and before you could reply he was coming around your desk. He picked the necklace up and, standing behind you, brought it around to the back of your neck, clasping it and leaving it to lie perfectly on your upper chest.
“It looks really nice.”
He was dangerously close to your ear and you shivered despite yourself.
You stood abruptly and started to gather your things. “Yeah, it’s beautiful. Thanks again.”
Minhyuk told you goodbye, and insisted on walking you at least to the door, waving enthusiastically through the glass as you made your way to the train station.
When you got home, Jun was predictably perched on the couch eating out of a bowl, and only made a noise of acknowledgment as you entered, not looking away from the TV.
You removed your coat and went into the kitchen to scrounge up something for yourself, and when you turned around he was in the kitchen now, putting his dish in the sink.
“What’s that.” He said, pointing at you with his chin.
You looked down, having almost forgot about the necklace.
“Oh, nothing.” You shrugged as you moved past him to set a pot on the stove, ready to make instant noodles for the 2nd time that week.
“You weren’t wearing it when you left this morning.”
You were surprised he’d even noticed.
“It was a gift.”
“From who?”
You sighed and turned around. “The boys came back from tour today, they brought me something, that’s all.”
You decided to leave out the part about it being from Minhyuk specifically, especially with the way he was acting.
“The boys,” He sneered. “You talk about them like they’re your friends or something.”
“They appreciate me at work,” You started, not able to sound anything but defensive, “Unlike around here.”
You had mumbled the last part as you turned back to the stove.
“What was that?” Jun asked, even though you were sure he had heard you. You could tell he was getting annoyed.
“Can I make my dinner in peace, please?” You snapped, not turning around. He said something under his breath and left the kitchen, back to the couch.
You spent another boring night inside, heading to bed early to forget about the bad mood Jun had put you into with his prying. When he finally came in, you were surprised he had the gall to try and feel up on you in the dark. You quickly pushed his hands away.
“Not tonight.”
You heard him huff and roll over.
The rest of your week got better, if only because you got to interact with your favorite group of guys again. When things got slow at your desk, you would sit in the practice room and do your paperwork there. It was something you had started doing a year ago, on a rainy afternoon when Changkyun felt bad about you sitting at your desk all alone and said you could come watch if you wanted. Since you had grown closer to them, they had gotten accustomed to you being there in the corner at your table. You even helped out by restarting the music at the stereo next to you, or going to fetch them fresh waters and towels when they were too exhausted to stand.
Minhyuk was in especially high spirits today, a ball of energy even when the others grew tired. A few times when you looked up to watch, he’d smile at you through the mirror. Once, he’d even winked at you, which prompted Jooheon to shove him and tell him to stop showing off. You laughed and lowered your head, touching your necklace now and then.
Toward the end of your day, he came to sit with you, tossing a towel over his shoulder and trying to calm his panting breath.
“Are you coming this weekend?” He asked, and you furrowed your brow at him.
“The big dinner, the whole company is going to be there.”
“Oh God,” You said, frantically searching through your pile of papers, trying to fish out your day planner. Usually it was you who scheduled these events, and you wondered if one had slipped through the cracks.
“No, no.” Minhyuk laid a hand over your paperwork, laughing. “The company isn’t hosting us, some other big conglomerate is, we’re just invited.”
You closed your eyes for a moment and let out a shaky breath. “Oh.”
“They’re working you too hard,” Minhyuk shook his head, “So that means you definitely have to come.”
“This weekend?” You repeated, and he nodded.
“I’ll have to look at my schedule.” You said, knowing full and well you had nothing going on that weekend. You used to go out often, whether taking in the nightlife with friends or going to daytime events, but in the last year that had all steadily fallen away. Now you just spent all your time at work or staring at your TV next to your lifeless boyfriend.
“I really hope you can make it.” He said, so earnestly that it made your chest ache for a moment.
The closer the weekend got, the more you thought about backing out. You had gone to lots of work events in the past, but you were feeling less inclined to go out these days. One of the reasons being it seemed like Jun always picked a fight with you when you got home, finding that exact moment the perfect time to argue with you about random, miscellaneous pet-peeves he had been holding in. He made it seem so spur of the moment, but you were convinced he was doing it on purpose now. Instead of ignoring him like you should have, you always fell into the trap of letting him upset you, and preventing you from going out again.
Yet, when you recalled those memories you got angry, the kind of angry you should have been at the time but wouldn’t let yourself be in an attempt to keep peace. It was obvious he was going to do it either way, so you might as well go out and enjoy yourself.
Despite it being an event put together by some CEOs, it was remarkably casual, a dinner at a restaurant followed by drinks and mingling at a hotel bar downtown.
When you came to dinner, they were glad to see you, not just the boys but your fellow friends and co-workers who all gushed about not having you around as much anymore and expressing surprise that you had actually shown up. It wasn’t until that moment you realized it really had been a long time.
As usual, Minhyuk had saved you a seat next to him. He was chatty, also as usual, piling food onto your plate for you and pouring you a drink. It was all customary, you were older, but you still felt like he might’ve been paying extra attention to you. It felt nice.
Halfway through eating, he looked down at you, nodding in approval. “The necklace” He grinned, “It looks pretty on you tonight.”
Even if he hadn’t really said you were pretty, it sure felt that way.
A bottle of soju later and you were feeling better than you had in months, laughing like old times and catching up with old friends. The whole atmosphere in the restaurant was cozy, and every now and then you would catch Minhyuk’s eye and felt a strange swimming sensation in your head from the way he looked at you. You didn’t know if it was the booze playing tricks on you or not, but he kind of lowered his eyes and let the corner of his mouth turn up in a way that felt distinctly like flirting. It had been so long since you’d been on the receiving end of that kind of attention, you decided it was just wishful thinking.
After dinner you walked in a group to the hotel bar, which was only a block away. Minhyuk placed a protective arm around your back and guided you down the sidewalk, commenting about not letting you get lost in the fray of the busy streets.
You knew you should probably slow down, but you had another drink once at the hotel, and enjoyed the numbness it provided. It was muting out all kinds of intrusive thoughts and anxieties and you had forgotten what it was like to live without them. Truthfully, you had not been happy in quite some time.
You sat on a sofa and talked with a female acquaintance, and she was trying to convince you to come out with her and her friends next weekend. You were resistant, but she kept waving her hand, just as drunk as you, and saying you were going whether you liked it or not.
When it started to feel a little too stuffy indoors, you decided to take a breather on the balcony, becoming increasingly aware that maybe you had put down a little too much.
You got lost staring at the city lights, watching the orbs expand and blur together, thinking about how there was an entire world out there you had yet to see, but feeling trapped all the same.
The sound of the door behind you startled you out of these thoughts, and you glanced over at Minhyuk.
He draped his jacket over your shoulders. “You’re going to freeze out here.” He said, and you could tell by his voice that he was a little drunk, too.
“Why are you so good to me?” You asked in a drawl as he came to stand next to you at the balcony.
He laughed and shrugged. “I thought I was just being nice.”
“You are.” You nodded, swaying ever so slightly toward him. “But that niceness is the best thing I’ve had lately.”
He gave you a confused look. “Did you break up with Jun?” He asked, and you laughed for some reason.
“No, he’s still around.” You waved a hand dismissively.
“You don’t sound very happy about that.”
“I’m miserable.” You said honestly, but you smiled as you said it.
“Is it that bad?” He asked, coming closer. “Or are you just upset with him right now?”
“Honestly, I’ve been unhappy for awhile.” You started, knowing you were about to spill your guts but unable to stop yourself. “Everything is so different now, you know? He’s nothing like he was when we first met.”
Minhyuk shrugged, “Relationships change after you’ve been together awhile,” He said, and you could tell even in your state that he was trying to cobble together a positive thought for you.
“Yeah, but do you just stop talking altogether? Stop laughing and having fun? He hasn’t given me an orgasm in months-”
You heard the words coming out of your mouth and snapped your lips shut, gripping the edge of the balcony, as if that would give you some control. When you looked up at Minhyuk, he had a funny array of emotions across his face. He was surprised and amused, but also…something else.
“Sorry, TMI.”
He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, it’s okay. I’m glad you feel like you can confide in me.”
There was silence for a moment, but you swore you felt him get closer.
“It’s too bad, you know.” He said, and his voice was lower. “You deserve a lot better than that.”
“Do I?” You found yourself asking, looking up at him with dewy, desperate eyes. You could feel it welling up inside you, you craved even more of his attention. Not just his kindness and his friendship, but so much more.
“Of course.” He said, and you could feel his breath now, like his mouth was closing in on yours. “You deserve to be happy, and to,” He swallowed, his eyes searching yours, “Feel good.”
The heat between you was palpable, and the way he lingered there and spoke so gently was driving you crazy. Unfortunately for you, your body had other ideas in mind, namely getting whatever horrible liquids you had ingested out of your system.
“I think I’m-” You started to say, but you couldn’t finish, rushing back inside to find the nearest bathroom. Luckily you were tucked away from the rest of the party, and after you had expelled everything in your stomach, you splashed cold water on your face and tried to exit the bathroom with as much dignity as possible.
You were shocked to find Minhyuk there, waiting in the hall, lounging against the wall. When he saw you, he stood up straight and approached you.
“Are you okay?” He asked, concern painted over his features.
“Yeah, I’m-” Your head pounded as you spoke and you groaned. “Actually, no.”
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
You said goodbye to your co-workers, who could tell you weren’t feeling well but didn’t seem to have any idea you had just wasted their very expensive dinner and drinks in the nearest bathroom. Minhyuk let them know he’d be seeing you home, which you thought meant sticking you into a taxi, but actually meant riding with you all the way back to your apartment.
You were utterly spent, mentally and physically, and you still felt sick to your stomach.. You lulled your aching head to one side as you closed your eyes and found yourself resting on Minhyuk’s shoulder, but he didn’t flinch. In fact, he moved closer to you.
You must have dozed off because suddenly the nearly 25 minute ride was over in a flash, with Minhyuk gently coaxing you awake and helping you out. He told the taxi to wait for him as he brought you upstairs.
You were vaguely aware of Jun opening the door and exchanging words with Minhyuk. Jun sounded agitated, and you pat him on the chest and mumbled at him to “chill out”. He started to bring you inside and you reached out for Minhyuk, trying to tell him goodbye. He said something about contacting him tomorrow, but Jun shut the door in his face.
“You’re so rude.” You grumbled as you stumbled into the bedroom. Jun followed you.
“Look at you,” He said in a loud, disgusted tone. “You go out one time and you act like this?”
You sat on the bed and pulled your shoes off, pausing to sigh. “Jun, shut up.”
He was clearly taken aback by your words, and made a big fuss as he gathered up a blanket and made his way to the living room, saying something about not wanting to sleep next to someone in your “state”. You silently praised him for this, because at least you would get the bed to yourself. You pulled off as much of your clothing as you could and promptly passed out.
The next day, sometime in the late morning, you sat on the bathroom floor, resting your head against the sink cabinet, having expended your insides once more. Jun stood in the doorway, looking down at you disapprovingly.
“You feel good about yourself?” He asked, and you tried to turn around to face him but your whole body felt the repercussions of the sudden movement, especially your skull.
“Jesus Christ, I got drunk, it’s not like I killed someone.”
“You got drunk at a work party and got brought home at 3 AM by some guy.” He said, clearly upset.
“It wasn’t some guy, it was Minhyuk. I know him, we’re friends.”
“I know who he is.” Jun scoffed. “And he’s not your friend. You really think just because you work at that company they care about you?”
You leaned over the cold tile and grabbed the bottom of the bathroom door, swinging it with all your strength and watching it slam shut in Jun’s face.
After a long hot shower and change of clothes you finally left the bathroom to find Jun had gone out, and felt relieved as you collapsed back into bed. You spent the rest of your Sunday afternoon binge-watching 80’s movies and sipping ginger ale. At around 2, your phone buzzed. You thought it might be Jun checking on you, but instead it was Minhyuk. You had forgotten he even had your number.
Minhyuk: I hope you’re feeling okay, just wanted to let you know you left your purse in the taxi.
You hadn’t even realized it was gone until then, glancing over at a chair in the corner and seeing his jacket.
You: I feel like hell, but thanks for asking. Looks like I kept your jacket, so we’re even.
Minhyuk: I can swing by and bring your stuff, if you’d like?
You smiled at your phone.
You: That’s not necessary, I can get it from you tomorrow at work. Also, I’m way too embarrassed to let anyone see me like this
Minhyuk: Too late, I’m outside
You: Uh, what?”
Minhyuk: Look out the window.
You pulled your heavy bones out of bed and to the window, looking down at Minhyuk standing on the sidewalk. When he saw you, he grinned and waved your purse with one hand, a grocery bag in the other.
Minhyuk: I was already nearby.
You: Well I guess now I have to let you up, huh?
A minute later, you were buzzing him in and opening the front door for him. You had thrown on an over sized hoodie and attempted to wash some of the smudged mascara from your under-eyes.
“Thanks,” You said bashfully as you took the purse from him, then invited him to sit in the living room.
“Oh, I also got this.” He said, setting the grocery bag on the coffee table. He pushed the handles open and brought out a plastic container of clear soup and a candy bar.
“I was walking by this cafe I used to eat at all the time, and I remembered they had this really great soup. Anyway, hopefully you can have some when you’re feeling better. Oh, and chocolate because …well, who doesn’t like chocolate?” He was rambling a little bit, and you watched him carefully, taken aback by the gesture.
“Thank you,” You said sincerely, “Again, you’re really too much.”
Minhyuk looked as if he was a little shy about it, and that made you even more melty inside. He glanced around the apartment then.
“Where’s Jun?”
You shrugged, grabbing the candy bar and unwrapping it. “Beats me.”
“You don’t know? Shouldn’t he be here taking care of you?”
You laughed. “Jun isn’t really a caregiver type.”
Minhyuk scowled. “He’s your boyfriend.” He stated matter-of-factly, as if the two concepts should have gone together without thought.
“Yeah, well,” You shrugged halfheartedly, not sure what else to say. You couldn’t defend it, either.
“I’ve only met him a few times, but I think last night was the most he’s ever said to me.” Minhyuk explained, and you tried to recall that part of the night but realized it was all quite blurry by then.
“What did he say?”
Minhyuk looked unsure of himself, eyes darting around the living room. “Not much.”
“You can tell me.”
He let out a sigh. “He was just really mad, started accusing me of stuff.”
“Like what?” You asked, getting more serious as you placed the uneaten candy bar back down.
“I don’t know, none of it made any sense. Saying it was my fault you were so drunk, and telling me to stay away from you.”
You rolled your eyes, “Like he has any right to be jealous.”
“Does he always treat you like that?” Minhyuk asked, voice getting a little quieter. You gave him an inquisitive look.
“It’s just…the stuff you were telling me last night about being unhappy, and I could hear him yelling at you when he shut the door.” Minhyuk looked down at his hands tapping on his knees. “It doesn’t seem like he treats you very well at all.”
You felt your throat go dry, and tried to swallow back the stinging feeling that his last set of words had caused behind your eyes. He was right.
You cleared your throat and went to stand. “Let me get your jacket.” You said, quickly leaving the room.
You took a moment to gather yourself once you were in the bedroom, wiping away stray tears before grabbing the jacket and leaving the bedroom. When you came back, Minhyuk was standing and he looked concerned.
“Here you go, luckily I didn’t throw up on it.” You forced a laughed, but he didn’t respond or smile, just stared down at you.
He reached up and you flinched a little, until you felt his warm palm against your cheek. He stroked his thumb under your eye. “Are you crying?” He asked quietly.
Before you could answer, the front door swung open and Jun came in, stopping short when he saw the two of you. You backed away from Minhyuk, whose hand still hung in the air where you once were.
Jun didn’t say anything, just put his keys down and shut the door behind himself and went wordlessly into the bedroom.
“You should go now,” You told Minhyuk, pushing the jacket into his hands and ushering him toward the door.
“Are you sure? Are you going to be okay?” He asked as he went. He stopped himself once outside the door and looked down at you intently, demanding a response before he walked any further.
“It’s fine, I’ll text you later.” You nodded, though he could tell it wasn’t fine.
“Call me if you need me, please?” He asked with a worried look in his eyes, and you nodded again, going to shut the door.
“I promise. Thanks for the soup, I really appreciate it.”
With that, the door closed. Unbeknownst to you, Minhyuk laid his forehead against it and sighed, waiting to see if he could hear anything. A long few minutes passed and he thought maybe he was overreacting, so he reluctantly left.
Inside, you paced the living, knowing that what Jun had seen looked bad. You expected him to come out here any moment and start yelling, but more and more time passed and there wasn’t a peep from him. You finally sat down, starting to relax a little, but still a bundle of nerves, too afraid to go in there.
Instead, you took the soup and the spoon packed with it and started to eat. The clear, warm liquid did help, but soon enough either your hangover or your anxiety started to make you feel sick and you put the container down.
It was almost 2 hours later when Jun finally emerged from the bedroom. You stared up at him with wide, expectant eyes, watching as he sat down in a chair near the couch.
“So,” He said, almost too casually. “When were you going to tell me?”
You were quiet, unsure of what he meant. You opened your mouth to ask, and he cut you off.
“When were you going to tell me you were cheating on me?”
You let out a humorless laugh, you couldn’t help it, because the accusation was absurd.
“I’m not cheating on you,”
“Bullshit.” He spat harshly, and it made you clench your jaw.
“I’m telling the truth,” You started firmly, “When would I have ever had time to do that? I’m at work all day and I come straight home every night. I don’t even have a chance to breathe by myself, much less find time to cheat on you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, his voice dripping in disdain.
“What do you think it means? My life has been a hellhole for the past year, in no small part thanks to you.” You said, and maybe it was going too far to lay all the blame on him. You had let yourself get to this point, let him have all the control and made yourself smaller and easier to manipulate.
“A hellhole? Me paying half of your rent, being here for you when you act like a fool, putting up with all your mood swings and-”
His voice had started to fade out in your ears, becoming totally detached the more he spoke and the angrier he got. Typically in an argument you get upset because you care, but you didn’t care. You had no more room for anger and resentment, because there was nothing here worth saving. You stood up and went to the bedroom.
“Where are you going?” He yelled after you, and you ignored him. You changed your clothes, threw some extras in a tote bag along with your phone and wallet, and headed for the door.
He called after you once more, even getting up to follow you, but you quickly made your way down the apartment stairs as he yelled at you from the top.
As you found your way outside, you realized the sun was setting, and you felt like you could breathe for the first time.
You wandered for a while, mind racing, thinking about what you’d just done. In the past, you would have never walked out on him like that, too afraid he would never take you back. Now, you hoped that he wouldn’t.
You didn’t know where you were going to go, all you knew is that you couldn’t stay there, at least not for tonight. You pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts. You didn’t want to bother any of your friends on a night before work, and you really didn’t want to explain any of this to your family. You stopped on Minhyuk’s name, and before you could decide if it was a good idea or not, you hit “call”.
He picked up almost immediately.
“What is it? Are you okay?” He asked frantically, expecting the worst.
“I’m fine, we just got in a fight and I needed some fresh air. But, I don’t really have anywhere to go now.” You laughed at yourself.
“Tell me where you are and I’ll send a taxi.”
20 minutes later you were at the dorms. You hadn’t ever actually been here before, only meeting with the boys at the studio or on outings. Apparently Minhyuk had filled them in about your arrival, and they assured you you could stay there as long as you needed. Technically, being there could get you fired, but they intended to keep quiet about it.
Their dorm was comfy and homey, much more so than your cramped, cluttered, loveless apartment. You sat on the couch with your legs pulled up, curling into one side, watching TV with Hyungwon and Kihyun, while Minhyuk did something in the kitchen.
When he emerged, he carried a bowl of popcorn and plopped down next to you, offering you some with a smile. You took a handful, finally getting your appetite back from before, and put your attention back to the show.
You tried to focus on the screen, and you did have a sense of warm contentment being surrounded by lively people who actually wanted you around. Every now and then your mind wandered to Jun, to the argument, to what you were going to do, but you’d quickly push it out. There was nothing you could do about it right now, so why dwell?
Dinner was ordered in, and conversation was kept light. You didn’t feel pressured or judged for the first time in so long, just enjoying company and having your company enjoyed. Afterward, you watched a movie, and as it got later into the night, each person filtered out of the room, back to their own quarters.
Finally, you were alone with Minhyuk.
“Thank you for letting me stay.” You said, curling your legs up under you.
“Don’t mention it,” He waved a hand, looking back at the TV. You swore you saw the hint of a pink tinge across his cheeks.
“Do you know what you’re going to do yet?” He asked.
You took a moment to answer, letting yourself slip into those thoughts you had been trying to avoid. You didn’t have all the details worked out, but all you did know was that the last few weeks confirmed to you that you deserved better, and you couldn’t stand being with Jun another second. This thought scared you.
“I have to break up with him,” You said quietly, almost to just yourself. Minhyuk let out a breath that sounded like relief.
“Honestly, I’m glad. I mean, I know you’re probably hurting,” He met your eyes, “But I think it’s the right choice.”
You nodded. “It’s just going to be weird, this is the longest relationship I’ve ever had.”
“That alone makes a lot of people want to stay, the familiarity. Not that I’d know.” He laughed. You didn’t know a lot about his past, but you could guess. He’d been in the industry from a young age, he probably didn’t have the time to date anyone long-term.
“You’re not wrong, though. I probably would have left sooner if I knew better.” You said, and he waited with a curious look for you to continue.
“It’s been bad for awhile, but I just thought,” You shrugged, sitting up “that’s how things were supposed to be.”
Minhyuk scoot closer to you, his knee touching your legs. “It’s never supposed to be bad,” He shook his head, “Not perfect, but not bad either.”
You laughed, feeling a little embarrassed about it, how you could stay and put up with it for so long?
“I guess it’s more than that. The way he always talked to me made me feel like he was the only person who was ever going to love me.”
Minhyuk’s eyes narrowed, “You know that’s not true, right?”
You looked down and picked at stray lint on your pants. “It’s going to take me awhile to believe it, but this is a start.”
He shuffled, and you felt him getting closer. When you peered up, he was leaning into you, eyelids drawn down and lips slightly parted. You took in a sharp breath.
“You deserve so much better.” He said so quiet it came out more as a gentle breath. His hand came up and his fingertips touched just under your chin, tilting your head up so your mouth was level with his. He searched your eyes for confirmation and you nodded once before he kissed you.
You had been kissed by the same man for 3 years, that alone made this strange for you. Add to the fact that Minhyuk’s plush lips and tender motions made butterflies explode in your stomach, their beating wings like that of your quickening heartbeat.
The hand under your chin moved to cup your jaw and pull you forward, his tongue pressing your mouth open, sliding across your inner lips. The haze and the shock of it wore off and you became active, pushing into him and laying a hand on his shoulder.
Both of his hands fell down to your hips, tugging on them. It took you a minute to figure out what he wanted, you were out of practice, but eventually you let yourself be pulled into his lap, his mouth detaching from yours momentarily.
“I want to make you feel good.” He whispered against your mouth, “I just-”
He couldn’t finish, you were kissing him again, fervently at that, taking his head in both your hands and ravishing his mouth, which he eagerly received. Hearing his words spurred something in you, thinking back to every kind, caring thing he’d done for you lately or at all. You were overwhelmed by it, you believed him. He wanted you to feel good, in every possible way. You hadn’t felt good in too long.
He slipped his fingers under the hem of your shirt, pushing up inside them toward your chest, taking each mound into his palms and kneading them through the flimsy fabric of your bra. Soon, he was pulling the top over your head and taking in the sight of you in the darkened living room, the only light coming from the TV. It cast colorful tints over his face and his dark eyes practically sparkled as he raked his vision over your body to your face.
“You’re so pretty,” He sighed, and you bit your lip as heat swept over you, curling yourself forward and burying your face into his neck. He laughed low, and it vibrated through you as he turned his head and spoke into your eat.
“Don’t be shy,” He said, and you could hear his smile. “Let me take care of you.”
With that, he laid you back on the couch, pressing a chaste kiss into the center of your chest as he pulled your pants down your legs. You were left in your underwear, suddenly aware of how exposed you were, and how anyone could walk in and see. You forgot all about this when his hand brushed over your core, the pads of his fingertips finding just the right spot through the thin fabric. The fingers moved in gentle, slow circles, and you mewled in response, eyes threatening to close. You were aware of how aroused you were, from months without a proper touch, from the jolt of the situation, from the fact it was him doing it.
You were wet within a minute, his fingers pressing into you harder and feeling it coat his digits, and he made a happy noise.
“Do you like that?” He asked, and when you looked at him he grinned in that cute, devious way of his. “Do you want more?”
You pulled your arms to your chest and nodded, and without another second wasted he was tugging the garment off.
Your eyes fell shut as you anticipated his fingers again, but instead there was a moment of movement and his mouth coming into contact with your delicate skin. You gasped, eyes popping back open as you glanced down to see the top of his head between your legs, his eyes gleaming up at you. He let his tongue lap over the expanse of your arousal, from bottom to top, stopping at the sensitive nub and pressing the tip of his tongue into it, flicking over it.
One of your hands grabbed onto the edge of the couch, sucking in a lungful of air and holding it, not trusting yourself to release it without being too loud. Instead, you pursed your lips and hummed deep in your chest, his mouth now fixed over you, tongue working you into a frenzy. The more you suppressed your moans, the more he tried to draw them out of you.
As if it couldn’t be any better, you felt his middle digit just outside your entrance, stroking over it up and down while his mouth continued at the top. The teasing was getting to be too much, and you reached down to push your hands through his hair.
“Please.” You whined as quietly as you could, and he tortured you for a second longer before pressing it inside you, your hands tightening in his hair a little more with each inch. He waited for a second longer, rolling his tongue over your clit before adding another. His knuckles curled upward and he found that spot inside you, thrusting his fingers into you as he lavished you with his entire mouth.
Your back arched up off the couch, holding his head in place, and he moaned in response, his eyes falling shut as he enjoyed every second of tasting and fucking you. He couldn’t get enough of your scent and your juices on his tongue, and he wasn’t going to quit until you gave it all to him.
Your chest heaved as you teetered on the edge, fighting between keeping it down but too lost to control your labored breaths and tiny whimpers. He encased you in his mouth and sucked, tongue assaulting you in the right spot as his fingers worked you harder. You tumbled, pulling in a high-pitched gasp only to release one hand from his hair so that you could moan into your fist, coming hard against his tongue.
He lapped at you, kitten-like as you came down from your high. You twitched every time and finally broke into a fit of giggles, pushing away the over-stimulation. He pulled himself up and over your body, looking down at you with eyes alight and lips moist.
He pushed some hair away from your forehead and kissed you between your eyes. “Was that okay?”
You could still feel your thighs trembling, and nodded, unable to speak just yet, instead taking him by the mouth and tasting yourself on him.
Despite him having given you more pleasure then you’d had in probably all 3 years of your miserable relationship, it didn’t satisfy your needs. You craved him more, and now had your hands pushed down between you, undoing the front of his pants. He looked down, then back up at you. “Are you sure?”
“I need you,” You said as you looked up at him with pleading eyes, and he couldn’t deny that.
He shimmied out of his pants and pulled his shirt over his head, bringing his knees down on the couch between your legs so he could situate himself. As he leaned over you, you wrapped your arms around him and sprinkled kisses down his neck, sighing as you felt him nudging at your entrance.
Then he pressed, and bit by bit he entered you, still wet and pulsing from your orgasm. He pushed until his hips met the back of your thighs, filled to the hilt and oh so perfect. He let out a soft “ah” sound, closing his eyes for a moment and holding on to the arm of the couch. When he opened them again, he gave you a look that was a mixture of lust and contentment, like he was exactly where he was meant to be.
He rocked his hips forward and back, increasing the pace slowly but surely. Your muscles clenched him from base to tip, the fullness bowing out every time he pressed in, feeling him in the pit of your stomach, causing your fingernails to dig into his shoulder.
“Ah, you feel-” He hissed, “So good.”
You swallowed back a moan, feeling your face get hot. Every time he gazed at you through those half-lidded, lustful eyes you burned all over. You hadn’t felt this desired, this wanted, maybe ever.
His little groans of pleasure increased, eyes squeezing shut as he gripped the couch harder and his thrusts got more insistent. He was close, you could feel how he pulsed with every sinking motion into you, and you pulled him closer, hips rising to meet him.
“I’m close,” He strained, struggling to open his eyes as he spoke. “Where do y-”
“Come inside me.” You begged, clawing at his arms. “Please?”
His eyes pressed closed again as a loud moan fell out of him beyond his control. Your sounds, your touch, everything about you was driving him crazy.
Finally, he shuddered hard, falling forward and whining out his release into your neck to muffle the sounds he couldn’t keep in. His thrusts stilted until he simply rocked himself inside you as he panted, his heart pounding hard through his chest into yours.
You wrapped your arms around him, cradling his head and petting his hair until you both calmed down. His body was warm and you wanted to lay wrapped up in him like that all night, but you knew that wouldn’t look very good to the others in the morning.
When he finally peeled himself way, you let out a small whine of disagreement, and he giggled. As he stood, he presented a hand to pull you up off the couch. You gathered your clothing and he nodding toward the hall, where you tiptoed toward the bathroom.
He made sure the temperature in the shower was just right, after you told him you liked it hot. Under the spray of water, his hands found you once more, smoothing over your skin, more so just to feel you than anything else.
His face looked different though, his eyes turned down, lost in thought. You reached up and touched his face.
“Are you going to go back to him?” He asked, before you could speak. You blinked and were quiet for a moment.
“No,”
He was still not looking at you. “Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to start believing something, and then have you tell me you came to your senses.”
The hand stroking his cheek made him look at you. “Leaving that apartment was me coming to my senses. Deciding to call you was me coming to my senses.”
You spoke firmly, and it took a moment but he seemed to start to believe it, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you to his chest.
You finished washing up and changed clothes, Minhyuk opting to stay on the couch with you that night, draping an old throw blanket over your bodies and cuddling up to your side in the dark. You spoke quietly to one another, about your situation, what you wanted, what he wanted, and even topics beyond that. The sun was beginning to break from the horizon in an orange glow by the time you both finally drifted to sleep, uncertain but okay for now. More than okay.
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