Hey guys! This update is two chapters long! So please enjoy the long ride!
Like a moth drawn to flames.
A person who falls in love is unfortunate.
They sacrifice themselves out of love.
Love which they know, doesn't bear any fruit.
But still an idiot, they forget the truth.
Breaking their heart to pieces.
Just to aid others.
But when they're the ones who needs aiding.
They're alone, grieving.
Their wings burnt to ashes.
-Anonymous-
**********
Twirling the brush around my thumb I continued to read the memorials.
"Your Highness, it's time for lunch. Will Your Highness be dining in the study room?" Lily questioned from outside the wooden door.
"Sure. Prepare some mooncakes too." I answered, absorbed in my reading.
"Yes, Your Highness."
My eyes snapped towards the door, lingering at it for awhile... Having a glance at the bamboo scroll I picked it up and quietly stood up, heading to the bookshelf. Placing the scroll back in it's place, I stared at the shelf lost in deep thought.
"Your Highness, this servant has brought the food." Lily announced.
I snapped back to reality, "Come in."
She entered the room with a few other servants, carrying the food and setting the table with the dishes. While observing their movements, I inquired quite dazed,
"Lily, during these past two weeks, did someone visit the palace when I was out on duty?"
Lily stopped on her tracks and looked towards me. She averted her eyes, looking thoughtful. The servants immediately left the room after the preparations, meanwhile she answered prudently bowing,
"Yes Your Highness, Her Majesty, the Empress Dowager had visited twice. And Lady Xiao visited once but left soon after since Your Highness was not present... Also the Fourth Prince had come to welcome Your Highness days ago."
My eyes widened as she answered. I had been concerned about a certain matter that had been bugging me since earlier. And now I had gotten my suspicions solved.
It was too clean. The identity was too clean. Nothing out of order. But how can that be possible? How can this person be too clean? It was as if on purpose, trying to hide certain obvious facts, with the intention of misleading others.
I continued to calmly stare at Lily and lightly nodded,
"Hmm. Next time do inform if someone pays me a visit."
"Yes, Your Highness. Forgive this servant's mistake. It would not happen again... Does Your Highness need me for anything else?" She questioned, her tongue running across her plump lips with a little smile.
I smiled back, "No Lily. You've worked hard. But I lost my appetite. Take these dishes back and eat them. Share it with the other servants too. You can leave the mooncakes here."
As she left the room my smile disappeared forming a straight line. My eyes turning a shade darker, the light almost non-existent. There was also a hint of sadness in them.
So that's what it was. That's how it had always been. How could I've been stupid enough to not notice?
I placed a hand on my forehead, feeling frustrated with how things had started to unveil. Surely I wasn't expecting it but when connecting all the dots the answer was pretty much clear. But for what reason would they need to do that? And, it couldn't explain how Mother Empress was assassinated, and how mother and I ended up as traitors. It would only make things more complicated to figure out.
I guess it was my fault for refusing to open my eyes while everything had already laid right before me. If I had acted on my instincts that time, this wouldn't have happened today. I didn't even know if I was trusting and protecting the right people anymore, when from the start they had all been nothing but fake.
Now that I look back and consider, some of the people who I had grown up together with but who were also very dear to me, had turned their backs on me. This was why I truly admired the Emperor's character, who looked completely unaffected when learning about his mother's death who was burnt beyond recognition. But within he must have been hurting, because I saw the anger that flared across his eyes, though it was vague.
What if... What if he too was involved in this? The thought was like a bucket of cold water thrown at my face. I started to feel insecure. And I hated it. Just imagining that he was scheming on getting rid of me made my heart bleed and scream in agony. Even so, shouldn't I already be expecting it?
I didn't want to come to a point where we would have to swing our swords at each other. I may love him with every fiber of my being but that didn't mean I would choose to fall along with his schemes. Instead I'd want to fight him and prove him my loyalty to the Empire.
No matter what the truth was, it would still hurt, because everyone was an important part of my life. The fact that I'd have to punish them or worse kill them was truly saddening. I may be seen as heartless in the battlefield but even as humans we were prone to have at least one weakness. Feeling pity and eventually forgiving them was one of those weaknesses I possessed. But as a commander I have been told to be the opposite towards my enemy. I wasn't complaining but I wish I had a choice. People should be given a chance to correct themselves.
We were after all imperfect, wearing a mask to hide our true self just so those who believe and have faith upon us wouldn't lose hope, and continue to trust us wholeheartedly. If a leader were to be projected as "weak", then his people would lose confidence in him and treat him as a joke. They wouldn't be willing to follow in his footsteps because he couldn't give them the assurance. Being a decisive, strong, capable and hardworking leader sets a great example to the fellow soldiers. I was confident enough to say that I had taken good care of my people. The mask I wear wasn't as thick as those schemers loitering around the palace. It was a mask I wore to reassure my people.
I approached the plate of mooncakes and grabbed one, taking a small bit out of the corner. Munching softly, appreciating its taste, I strolled around the study room trying to figure out a loophole in the events that had occurred during my last birth.
Everything had started with an assassination attempt of the Emperor... Then two months later Mother Empress was killed on His Majesty's birthday. It's the perfect gift an enemy can give to him. However, if they had planted spies in the palace they would know the strained relationship of His Majesty and the Empress Dowager which meant they couldn't give him a heavy blow with this attack. So there must have been other reasons for this assassination...
Another fact was the absence of Mother Empress on His Majesty's birthday celebration. This was rare. She did inform that she felt too tired and would like to take a rest. But Mother Empress would never miss her son's birthday unless it was quite a severe case. The Imperial Physician had stated it was just fatigue but Mother Empress had always been healthy. Even if she had to get sick why on that particular day? Isn't that too much of a coincidence? Was there something she had hid from us? She had informed of her absense from the grand event at the last minute too. The assassins wouldn't have been able to kill her if she had attended the event.
During the night the security was way tighter in the Forbidden lands where the Emperor's harem and the Mother Empress resided. It was surrounded by all sorts of high tech traps for those who trespassed, because the guards weren't allowed to enter the premises. During midnight, the gates are tightly closed, no one was allowed to leave or come in through the gates. Only the Emperor can enter the premises.
Imperial Mother was assassinated three hours before midnight, an hour after the grand event had began. Her palace was set on fire but there happened to be stab wounds aimed at her vital organs which was the cause of her death. No ordinary could have had such accurate aim.
"To think you'd use your authority to kill the Empress Dowager. How courageous of you..."
I was suddenly reminded of this phrase that had confused me at the time but also the fact that His Majesty was holding onto my amulet that day. Those words made me fall into a trance now.
Someone used my amulet to get access to the forbidden lands?!
My mooncake almost dropped onto the floor due to my shock.
I had never used my amulet to enter the forbidden lands before. Moreover I had never once entrusted it to anyone, so why would the guards let...? No, it was obvious. Anyone who holds the amulet could be a trusted aid of the owner of the jade. Why would the guards need to doubt?
Was this the actual reason for stealing my amulet...?However, they were smart enough to leave it behind because they knew the disadvantage of keeping the jade. It was like a curse.
Two of the five assassins were caught, and they happened to say I was the one who ordered them to do this. The guards must have supported the statement with how the assassins had entered with the jade amulet. To further support their statement and permanently steel my fate, another important person confessed a whole deal of rubbish. Well, that was what I was told.
My eyes narrowed at the mention of them. But it was not anger this time but confusion.
[Flashback]
The back of my eyes were burning as I lay on the bed in a daze. Knowing that I would never be able to see her again devastated me. I couldn't sleep a wink the whole night. Who could dare to do this to an angel? The best I could do now was to wait for the two assassins to confess everything.
*Bang*
The door opened, as more than fifteen soldiers barged into the room along with Du Xi taking the lead.
"What's going on?" I sprang out of my bed in confusion as Shang Dong stood at the center with a scroll in his hand,
"The Emperor has issued an Imperial decree, Your Highness."
He quickly opened the scroll and read its contents, loud and clear, my heart dropping at each word he spoke,
"The Emperor, who governs with the Mandate of Heaven, declares that, according to the trials of the Justice Ministry, the First Imperial Prince, and Commander of the Xu Lin army, Wei SuYing, guilty of murdering the Empress Dowager. After four days from now, the traitor shall be disclosed to Xu Lin following his public execution at the end of the week. Proclaimed to all under the Heavens, let it be known."
"What?!" I almost screamed in disbelief feeling almost dizzy. Everything was happening too fast!
"What trials?! You have not even questioned me! What the hell's going on here?!" I shouted at Shang Dong.
"The Emperor ordered me to pass this message to you, Your Highness." He looked at me with helplessness,
"I know your stubborn and will refuse to accept your crimes even until your last breath, therefore I shall not hesitate to take the right actions to punish you."
Bloody hell, you fool! I couldn't stop the insult that was directed at His Majesty.
I wiped the sweat gathering at my forehead as Shang Dong stated,
"Please surrender Your Highness."
I looked towards Du Xi who was frowning at me as if he too was confused with the whole situation but unable to do a single thing. The other soldiers had their hands on the hilt of their swords, ready to take me down if I misbehaved.
"Go ahead," I said harshly giving into my fate.
"Wait!" A voice interrupted breathlessly.
Venerable Cheng! And closely following behind was Shang Mo.
"Don't do this! If we harm his sacred body, the Gods will be enraged! A curse will befall the nation." Venerable Cheng looked panicked and about to cry. He was desperate!
"Please don't do this! You have no idea how much this will cost to Xu Lin!" His entwined hands hit hard on his forehead as if he's praying to God.
"Venerable Cheng! Please stop! Your hurting yourself!" I grabbed onto his hands to prevent him from hitting his forehead. His eyes were glistening with tears, worry and heartache evident in them,
"My beautiful child, you never deserved this! Xu Lin never deserved this! One day, the Emperor will grieve your death! He will be at the essence of insanity by the lose of your existence."
I was beyond shocked to hear that, but Shang Dong cut in,
"We have no time to waste, Your Highness."
Ignoring him I gave a soft squeeze to Venerable Cheng's hand, "Please do not intervene in these matters High Priest. Trying to speak for a traitor will make you one too. Please."
"Amitabha, my child." Tears trickled down his wrinkled cheeks as he caressed my head gently. I soon turned to face a disheveled and a crying Shang Mo, realizing this would be the last time I'd see this boy,
"And you, don't say anything offensive towards the Emperor. Accept his decision and follow him to the end. Only this will keep me at ease after my death. Ah tell Lily to stay healthy and take care of herself."
He was unable to speak so he nodded his head vigorously while hiccuping. I patted on his shoulder, heading out of the Tianshang palace.
"They wont be hurt right? My servants?" I inquired Shang Dong.
"No, Your Highness. But your mother..." He trailed off.
I instantly stopped on my tracks and grabbed onto his clothes, jerking him towards my face,
"What happened to mother?! She has nothing to do with this!"
The surrounding soldiers drew their swords in alarm.
"S-She was brought to the Justice Ministry for questioning." He stuttered out. He looked terrified probably because I was angry and it was a rare sight to see.
I sighed in relief, letting go of him.
**********
*Splash*
I almost involuntarily let out a shout but soon swallowed it back. Like bees stinging every inch of my body the pain shot through waves as the salt water entered my cut wounds. My face crunched up in torment.
Another bucket was splashed ruthlessly across my body.
*Clink*
I roughly pulled the iron shackles that were binding my hands, twisted it around my already bloodied wrists and pulled them as hard as I can as a distraction, the edges of the shackles cutting deeper into them, causing blood to drip on the floor. The cell ground was already stained with many large and small blood patches below my body. Some of the cut wounds had started to swell and fester, but still the solider holding the metal spike whip hit the same spots again and again.
The more numb I started to feel for a weapon, another solider at the side would use salt water to induce greater pain. And they would switch to an even more pain filling weapon, the steel pole. He would poke and hit it at the festering wounds with monstrous strength that I constantly ended up fainting. But again the other would use salt water to wake me up.
This had been continuing for two days without any food or water, not a minute did they waste on torturing me with all kinds of tools and weapons. My body was covered with deep and ghastly wounds. It was simply the most disgusting and nauseating sight a person could ever witness. Not a single piece of my white skin was visible instead it was replaced by dark red diagonal cuts, and purple bruises. My robes were a bloody mess, torn and scattered, hanging pitifully around my broken body. The cuts were so deep that the white bones could almost be seen. The steel pole probably broke a few of my bones too but I wasn't really able tell through the pain alone, because not a single part of my body wasn't hurting.
The once beautiful and flawless face had turned paler than snow with the blood loss. Lips dry and wounded due to biting into them to prevent the sounds from escaping my mouth.
Right now I was experiencing hell without having to actually go there.
The prison door swing opened with a loud "squeak" sound, followed by a man who walked in. I tried to look up but I didn't have the strength to. My vision was blurry and I couldn't even make out the design of their robes.
"Good job." The Emperor praised the soldiers. My closed eyes opened at his voice. His feet approached closer and stopped three feet away from me.
"Do you know "who" is the reason you are here right now? I was thankful for how surprisingly honest they were. It only made things easier." His Majesty's neutral voice echoed in the cell, my heart drumming at the sound of it.
I didn't move nor say anything, I could only lifelessly look into the ground.
"Who?" I uttered almost inaudible. Aren't you the reason?
"Lady Xiao."
I thought I heard wrong but no he clearly said it. Mother? What nonsense was he speaking?
"Lies!" I whispered.
*Sighs*
He walked around my tattered body, each step like an arrow to my soul. My heart was filled with dread. He's telling the truth... But there has to be some mistake somewhere. Perhaps she was threatened by someone.
"Lady Xiao confessed how you wanted to take the throne and how you threatened to lock her up if she didn't do as she's told. But it seems she was actually willing to help you out considering the evidence we found at her palace... Knowing fully well how important mother was to me, you wanted her dead in the most horrible way. Indeed, it was the best gift I could receive from you. And to think you'd use your authority to murder the Empress Dowager of Xu Lin. How courageous of you..."
At this point I was already speechless just staring at my feet. What was the truth or what was the lie, I didn't know. My head was spinning like a spiral unable to absorb what was happening.
Just kill me already. I don't care anymore.
I knew my body was beyond repair and I just wanted this endless suffering to finish. It wasn't the body, but the heartache that made me give up at the moment. However, something inside me was raging like a bull that had seen red. That instant, I snapped my head towards the Emperor who stood there neither amused nor anger in his eyes,
"If I wanted Imperial Mother dead, I would have done so long time ago with one direct blow. I'm afraid, going around scheming and relying on others to obtain something is not my style, Your Majesty!"
I scoffed in mockery. I didn't care for my image anymore, I just wanted to lash out at this man's foolishness and more than that, my anger was directed at the one person I had trusted the most, my mother.
And that did him good. He picked up the spike whip, without hesitation he ruthlessly whipped it across my face. The spikes were sharp like blade and was thick. It felt like my face was ripped off. I groaned in pain unable to withstand it. He didn't stop there, he continued to aim at my face until it was beyond recognition and moved down to my legs. He did so until he vented all his pent up frustration, anger and hatred. I didn't want to imagine how scarred and ugly my face would become after this. I spit out the blood that had pooled inside my mouth. My vision starting to form black dots.
"The eyes of the avaricious are like a pitcher which will never get full." He looked disgusted as he threw the whip to the ground. But then my sight caught of something in his hand, it was the jade amulet hanging on a red string.
How did that-
"You've got what's coming to you."
I heard his distant voice but soon fell into unconsciousness.
[End of Flashback]
Cladded in a charming and smart dark blue uniform, Xu Lin's golden crest engraved as shoulder pads, and my sword hanging at my waist, I headed towards the training camp, my ten subordinates escorting me. My long, silk black hair tied into a ponytail. It swayed at every powerful step I took forward.
Across the field there was a huge tent where His Majesty was seated watching the newcomers' performance.
"Shoot." The trainer ordered.
The third batch released the arrows, their performance rather well as the forth batch got into line getting their aim at the target ahead.
I was no longer paying attention to them but to the man who sat and watched the trainees looking so majestic. Meanwhile, there was one young man struggling with his bow but eventually was able to get his aim on the target. Another trainee at the back was snickering playfully at the young man.
"Shoot!" The trainer once again ordered.
Just before the young man released the arrow, the trainee at back "accidentally" bumped into his hand,
"Ah!" The young man gave a cry. His arrow left the string and his bow jumped forward. Before he managed to blink an eye it was already too late.
*Thock*
*Honk Honk*
*Whining-squeaking*
*Thud*
The goose was already in my hands, motionless, the arrow had pierce through its neck. In surprise and in a daze I thought, what a perfect hit...No that's not it.
"How-" Before I could ask the question, the young man who shot the arrow ran to me and kowtowed hitting his head hard on the ground. There was blood on his forehead as a result. I quickly stretched my hand to his forehead,
"Stop. You're overreacting."
"You see; your aim was perfect. But if it had been in the battlefield I would be worried that you'd shoot your fellow companions instead of our enemy." I lectured him.
"Your Highness, it was me who bumped into him and so he lost his aim." Another trainee got on his knees and before he could have kowtowed I questioned him,
"I know. Friends?" I asked him.
"No... Your Highness." He answered truthfully and confused as to why I lectured the young man if I knew.
"Good. You are both forgiven. Go back to training. And you should be calling me "General". I prefer that over my royal title." I calmly stated handing the dead goose to the young man. I turned to the side to see Du Xi who was obviously amused and was trying to hide it by clearing his throat. I looked to His Majesty who was resting his elbow on the arm-rest, covering his mouth with his fingers, and his eyes were piercing right through me.
"General!" The young man called out, breaking me from my trance.
"What?" I inquired quietly.
Shaking the goose by its neck like a child that got a new toy, the young man looked enthusiastic, he was in a totally new mood now that I'd forgiven him. His big puppy eyes directed at me hitting on my soft spot just like how Baby does to me,
"Can I eat it for dinner?" He pointed at the goose.
"..."
A/N: I'm glad I could make it soon. But really this was so long I thought I'd take a few more days. Please do comment and vote if you like the chapter! The next update will probably be in a week. See you!