It's early in the morning and Billie huffs around the house, carrying boxes and boxes to the back of her car.
I've been awake for a while, lying in bed with Cora in my arms, listening to Billie's steps outside my room.
I've got my laptop on my lap, as if I were about to watch some random show on Netflix, but my mind keeps driving me crazy by trying to listen as closely as possible to the hustle going on in the corridor.
Suddenly, there's a knock on my door.
"Yeah?"
With the answer, the door is opened and Billie is standing there, looking tired and frustrated.
Her eyes drop at me and she speaks up, "I know you don't wanna see me or talk to me right now, and I'm still really annoyed about that", she sighs, "But I'm leaving now."
"Okay", I squeak, trying not to look at her.
When she doesn't move, I panic, grabbing Cora's paw and waving it at her, making a voice, "See ya", I sing out, an awkward smile on my face, while Billie furrows her eyebrows at me, "See yaa!"
The awkward silence is still there and so I slowly drop Cora's paw back down. Billie stares down at me once more and then, finally, turns around and walks away.
I quietly watch her, waiting for the front door of the house to shut, before hugging Cora closer and whispering into her furry ears, "That was a weird choice."
After Billie and all of her things are gone, I procede to spend the rest of the day feeling miserable.
Get up from bed at two in the afternoon, grill a sad looking fish for lunch, sit on the floor of Billie's empty old room by myself for an hour, make fried chicken, eat the fried chicken by myself, go back to Billie's empty old room's floor, and it goes on.
It is now 8pm and I decided to try and force some cheerfulness into me. Turn on some happy music and make some mac and cheese.
Flipping wooden spoons around in my hands and tapping my feet to the beat, I pour the pasta into the boiling water before going back to stirring the sauce in the pan.
I dance around the kitchen checking everything I've got to add into my dinner. After taking the garlic and the ham out, I freeze in position, my eyes set on the abandoned truffle oil in the back of the cabinet.
Staring at the glass recipient, longingly, I sigh. I had honestly forgotten about it, it's been here for just so long.
Throwing all of my thoughts way back in my mind, I grab the oil, quickly taking the lid off and pouring it onto the frying pan.
After it's all done, I mix everything together and just as I'm serving myself I go back to feeling grey, staring at the now empty oil bottle on top of the sink.
Turning off the happy music, I grab myself a glass and a wine bottle from the fridge. Smelling the food, Cora comes running into the kitchen, climbing on the chair beside me and sitting down as I serve some truffled macaroni and cheese on a smaller plate for her.
We dine side by side, making each other company, my dog and I.
It is late at night when Normani gets out of her room, stumbling in the corridor, feeling very high, and walks into the kitchen.
I am fast asleep by now, but Normani? Normani is up and awake, eying the fridge for some late night munchies snack.
When her eyes meet my truffled macaroni and cheese, her curiosity spikes, and she takes the whole pot full of it, tasting a bit before taking it out along with her.
Some time between 23pm and midnight, Cora jumps onto my bed, waking me up. I shift a bit, holding her close as I try to drift back off to sleep.
Half an hour passes and I'm still in bed, wide awake, staring at the ceiling, Cora fast asleep in my arms.
When the boredom hits me, I manage to get up and leave my room, walking into the living room as I rub my eyes.
Normani is lying on the couch with headphones on and her laptop on her lap, a lighten joint between her fingers.
I approach her, looking at her laptop screen, "What are you watching?"
She presses pause on her computer, removing her headphones and looking up at me, "The Muppet Show", she chuckles.
I snort and nod, "While smoking weed?"
"Yeah", she laughs.
I lightly laugh along with her, "Do you feel motivated?"
"Uh, it motivated me to get food", she points at the center table.
I glance in her finger's direction and gasp as I see the now empty pot that early on carried a massive amount of macaroni and cheese.
"Wha- Mani, did you eat all my truffled mac and cheese?", I inquire.
She looks back at the pot, "Oh. I didn't know it had truffle in it."
"Oh, come on. You didn't even notice the truffle?"
"How do you afford truffle?", Normani furrows her eyebrows in curiosity as I frustratedly sigh.
"I don't. It's truffle oil", I pause and close my eyes before explaining, "Billie bought it for me."
Normani laughs, teasingly, "Oooh, Billie!"
I groan before huffing back at her, "No, it's not because of that, okay? It's because it's expensive."
"Well, I was hungry. I didn't realise it was special mac and cheese, I'm very sorry."
I shake my head looking down at her as I calmly say, "You will rue the day you ate my truffled macaroni and cheese."
Normani quietly watches me as I turn around and walk back into my room, gears grinding inside my head. When she hears my door close shut, her eyes calmly wander back to her laptop screen, putting her headphones back on and pressing play on Gonzo's face.
It is the morning after when Mani tiredly rubs her eyes, dragging herself off her bed. She checks her bedside clock for the time before putting it back on the nightstand and slowly walking towards her bedroom door. As she pulls it open she is face to face with a huge pile of furniture blocking her way out.
She lets out a sigh as she eyes the barricade, before hesitantly placing her hands on it and trying to push. After a couple of failed attempts which end up leaving her on the floor with her back against the furniture, Normani reluctantly gets up and calls out.
"Y/N?"
I had just finished brushing my teeth when I hear my name getting called out from Mani's room. I smirk to the bathroom mirror before walking up to her door.
"Yes, Normani?"
"Did you build a barricade outside my door?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
With that, I turn around and head back to the living to finish grabbing my stuff.
There's a moment of silence.
"Y/N?", I hear Mani's voice call out once more.
I walk back up to the barricade, "Yeah, babe?"
"Did you turn off the Wi-Fi?"
"Yes."
"Y/N, no! Come on!"
That's when Ally casually wanders off into the living room, quickly widening her eyes and making her way over to my side as the big furniture pile comes into view.
"Oh, wow", she exclaims eyeing the barricade up and down as I turn my face to look at her.
"She ate all my truffle macaroni and cheese."
"Oh."
"So, here we are."
"Ally, let me out", Mani's voice is heard from the inside of her room.
I watch Ally as she hesitates before getting closer to me, "Um, how long are you planning on locking her in there for?"
"I haven't decided."
"Hmm."
"Ally?", Normani pleads, "Can you please let me out?"
Ally quickly shakes her head at the barricade, even though the other flatmate can't actually see her, "No, I'm not getting involved."
We hear Normani groan, "It's just letting Y/N win! Come on!"
"No, it's not! It's nothing! I'm Switzerland", the short blonde states, fighting back her smile as I giggle at her.
A few seconds go by before we see the barricade start bouncing and shaking right before us. The multiple chairs and benches on top of the drawers and tables, all wavering by the door.
"Mani, by the way", I quickly speak up trying to get her to stop pushing it, "Yesterday you left your phone in the living room, and then I took it and I placed it on top of the barricade, so that if you keep shaking it like that, maybe the phone would fall off and smash."
That quickly does the deal. We hear a deep sigh as all the furniture goes still while I add in,
"And then you wouldn't have a phone. To call all of the people you don't have in your life. Just FYI."
Another groan.
"Ally, can you at least just pass me my phone?"
The blonde shakes her head once again, "No! I said I'm not getting involved."
And another long sigh.
"Okay!", I announce, "I gotta go."
I'm already back in the living room grabbing my keys as I hear Normani's protest, "You can't go!"
"Yeah, I can. I'm free to go", I walk back up to the barricade getting the front door open with a cheeky grin on my face, "Maybe you can use this time to think about what you've done. You know? Reflect."
I see Ally muffle in a light giggle before I head out, shutting the door behind me.
I'm already far out, getting into my mom's car, when Ally's smile is slowly replaced by a confused frown.
"How does she afford truffle?", she wonders out loud.
"Billie bought it."
Ally's eyebrows go up in realisation as she nods, "Ah, so you ate the last of Billie's affection."
One last sigh, "Yeah."
"Mom? Babe?"
I'm trying to glue all the four corners of the 'visitor' sticker onto my shirt as I approach mom.
She's wearing a plain yellow shirt and gym shorts, her foot on a bench as she finishes tying her laces.
"Oh, hi, sweetie", she responds as she turns her head to smile at me.
I wave at Harry, who is lied down on the grass, before turning back to mom and furrowing my eyebrows, "Why are you dressed like that?"
"I'm going for a jog. It's good for the brain. Do you want to come?"
I shake my head, "Can't."
"Why?"
"Uh, it just sounds shit."
Mom gasps and chuckles in response, getting back to her shoe laces.
"Harold? What about you?"
"No, I can't jog. My outer shell is not snug to my skeletal system."
I chuckle as mom huffs out in response.
Harry shrugs before adding in, "Independent flesh is the enemy of speed."
"Come on, Harry!", mom pleads.
"Nah."
"Can you motivate him, Y/N?"
I nod, "Sure. Uh, Harry, believe in yourself and you can do anything."
"Can I believe in not going for a run?"
"Yes", I chuckle before patting mom on the shoulder, "I gotta go, okay? I gotta look for a job."
Mom's eyebrows go high up as fast as I manage to shove my hands inside my pockets.
"Oh! Okay", she exclaims in surprise before grabbing my arms, "Give me a hug."
"Okay, later, Harry", I wave at him before briefly kissing mom's cheek.
"Kisses", I hear Harry say.
I wheeze, "Kisses?"
After walking back into the internal bit of the hospital, I rush into the halls, quickly making turns in corridors and speeding through doors.
I pause for a second as I reach my destination, hesitantly peeking my head into the open door.
"Hey", I open a tiny awkward smile.
Shoving both my hands deep into my pockets, I watch as Lauren is quick to close the book on her lap and sit up on her bed.
"Oh, um, hi, Y/N", she stammers, surprised, "I didn't... I didn't realise you were coming to visit. You should've told me you were coming to visit."
She had awkwardly gotten up from her bed when I flop down onto it, sitting on my knees.
I lightly chuckle at her commotion before speaking up, "What are you doing?"
"I was, um... I was reading."
At that, she places her book on the bed and I reach over to grab it, "Okay, yeah."
I start fiddling with the pages as Lauren eyes me, still standing up.
"How was the hike?", she asks.
"Just so much walking", I respond, "Just, like, a lot of walking, you know what I mean?"
I look up at her to see her nodding while looking down at the floor.
She seems a bit awkward, maybe, a bit nervous? But then again, so am I, only I think I'm doing a better job at hiding it. I start thinking back to the day at the zoo, the aquarium, and the kiss, and quickly I need to force my eyes to look back down at the book in my hands in an attempt to hide my blush.
I brush those thoughts aside as I take into consideration all of the events from that day.
"How are you feeling about Ginger?", I manage to speak out after a moment of silence.
Lauren looks at me for a second before finally sitting back down on the bed, "Um... I get kind of sad every now and then."
I awkwardly nod, looking down at my lap and forcing out a stammered 'yeah'.
Before I have any time to add in anything else, though, I feel a hand on my upper arm and a pair of lips on my own.
I hold in a light gasp as I impulsively kiss her back. It's a short kiss, though, as we both kind of pause and Lauren backs away.
"I'm sorry, was that weird? I..."
I awkwardly chuckle in response as Lauren sits back down, "No-"
"I am sorry about Ginger, I'm just kind of sick of talking about it", the brunette quickly tries to explains herself.
I wheeze, forcing my eyes back down at Lauren's book, fidgeting with it, "No, it's alright. No worries! It's just...", I trail off.
Growing quiet, I flip through the pages as I feel Lauren's eyes on me.
"Are you alright?"
I immediately nod, "Yeah."
Both of us stay quiet for a minute. My eyes never leave the book and Lauren's eyes never leave me.
Sighing, I speak up, "Uh, Billie moved out yesterday."
Lauren grows awkward at my statement, looking down at her lap, "Right. How was that?"
I shrug, "Fine."
I've reached a point in which I feel like I got to the prime of my awkwardness. I'm glancing up from the book to quickly cast a few look at Lauren and I'm thinking to myself, 'What did she see in me'.
I'm afraid to say anything else since everything I say apparently is not the right choice in the conversation.
My hands continue to flip through pages and pages of Lauren's book, my eyes staring blankly at it, until Lauren herself reaches over snatching the book away.
"Um...", she nervously sets the book aside, "Do you not like me?"
I freeze before stammering, "Um... Well, no. I- I like you."
"Okay, but do you not see me as, like, a person because I'm in a psychiatric hospital?"
I pause, "No, I...", sigh, "I guess... I guess I just... I don't know, we kissed before Ginger died..."
"Is she relevant to this? I just- I don't think she's relevant to this."
"Yeah..."
We go quiet. I scrunch up my face looking away from Lauren as I speak back up, already cringing at myself, "I think I just thought maybe, like, you weren't allowed to date?"
"What?", her head immediately snaps up at me, "Of course I'm allowed!"
I awkwardly nod, "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay. Uh...", I let out an awkward chuckle before mechanically asking, "Do you want to go on a date?"
I watch Lauren and giggle as she sighs and slightly shakes her head, "Honestly, this conversation has been so awful for me, I can't remember what I like-"
I don't let her finish as I glue my lips back on hers, grabbing her shoulders by her sweater. The only thing I feel before she starts kissing me back is a tiny smile against my lips.
"How are you?"
Harry turns his head to look up at mom, who's crouched down on the grass beside his lying body.
"Ginger?"
Mom nods, "Yeah."
Harry sighs.
He looks back up at the sky, "Do you know she stole my good socks?"
"What, the diamond ones?"
"Argyle", he corrects, "Yeah."
Mom frowns, "Well, that little bitch! Did you get them back?"
"Yeah, she left them at the front desk."
A tiny smile makes its way to mom's lips as she looks around the patio, "Well, that's pretty sweet."
Harry shrugs, "They weren't clean."
Meanwhile, at home, Normani lightly frowns to herself before turning her head to look up at Ally through the one narrow hole on the barricade.
"How do the communists decide who gets to be a farmer and who gets to be, like, a poet if the pay is the same?"
Ally swallows the peanuts in her mouth just as Mani reaches to grab some from their shared bowl herself.
"Nobody gets to be a poet", Ally responds, "They're all farmers."
Mani chews on a couple peanuts before sighing, "I'd make a terrible farmer."
"Yeah, well, you'd make a pretty terrible poet too."
"I really hope we don't become communists, because then everyone's a team and I'd feel like I was letting the team down. I don't have enough to offer."
Ally shrugs, "Well, that's why capitalism works. Kinda. If you don't do anything, then you won't get paid."
Mani hums, "Hmm. Maybe I do prefer communism", she reaches out of the barricade for more peanuts.
Ally nods, laughingly.
That's when I open the front door, smiling down at Ally before turning to the big barricade.
"Hey!", I smile, "Hey, sunshine!"
Ally smiles back, "Hello!", she sings out.
Still smiling, I bend down to look at Normani through the narrow hole into her bedroom,
"Hey, Mani! Hey, buddy!"
Normani stares blankly at me for a second, "Hello."
"Hi!"
Ally chuckles as I retreat to the kitchen, putting my house keys away and grabbing my laptop.
"Ally says this is a fire risk", I hear Normani mumble from her room.
"Um, can I give Mani her phone back now?", the tiny blonde perks up.
"Nah."
She slops back down, "Okay."
Walking back into the hall, I sit down on the floor, my back against the barricade, and open up my laptop on my lap.
"I have to finish my resume", I groan.
"I can't imagine what you've written so far", Ally comments.
Just as my home screen pops onto the screen, I type in a couple words into the document before pausing and looking back at the barricade, "Mani, can you write me a cover letter? If you do a good job, I'll let you out."
A second goes by and I hear Normani's voice, "Well, you'll have to plug the internet back in so I can send it to you."
I consider it for a quick minute before setting my laptop aside in order to prop myself up and set the modem on, "Okay. I'm doing it, I'm doing it."
I hear her getting up from her room as I flop back down onto the floor, "It's done. Go."
Normani turns her computer on and Ally chews on some more peanuts as I type in on my resume. The house is quiet for a quick while before I pause and lean my head back, announcing,
"I'm going on a date with Lauren."
I see Ally nod as she speaks up, "So, you forgot about Billie, then?"
"You're going on a date with a mental?", Normani voices as I giggle.
"Mmm, that seems crass, doesn't it, Mani", I retort, "to describe her like that?"
Ally nods once again, before perking up and turning to me, "Mani wishes she was a communist", she comments.
I groan, eyes on my screen, "She's always going on about communism."
"What do the communists do with mentals?", I hear Normani's voice.
"I think they kill them."
I snort, "They don't kill the mentals!"
Normani shrugs before speaking, "Well, I really hope we don't become communist now, otherwise Y/N will never find love."
I hold my wheeze in as Ally's laughter echoes around the house.
"Did your mom ever come to visit you?", mom questions over to Harry, poking around the food on her plate, "Back when you were institutionalized?"
Harry cringes at the memory for a second, before shoving it all back in and shrugging slightly, "Not really."
"Yeah, I didn't think so, I don't remember her much", mom comments just as Harry shrugs once more.
I, myself, don't even remember much from back then. His stay hadn't really lasted long and it was a couple years back, right in the beginning of college years. I remember him dealing quite well with it actually, with me bringing him milkshakes every week; I remember the nurses back there used to call me the Golden Star Girlfriend and that nickname had made me quite cocky for quite some time.
"How come?", mom asks.
"She didn't need to know I was there."
Mom's head immediately turns to face Harry, "She doesn't know about it? Harry, you gotta let her know."
Harry takes one big gulp from his apple juice, shaking his head, "Nah, she wouldn't understand mental illness, and I don't understand it enough to explain it to her."
Mom nods before shrugging, looking back down at her lunch, "Well, I think you're probably underestimating her."
"Her only cure for any illness is Vicks VapoRub."
"Hmm, I used to use that all the time with Y/N when she was a kid", mom swallows her food, "when she had a cold."
"Yeah, it's good for that", Harry nods along, "Not so good for sunburn."
Mom snorts, and then chuckles, "Ouch."
"Mhm", he nods once again, "I never told her when I got a urinary tract infection."
At that, mom wheezes, lightly spitting out her juice.
She breaths in, setting her glass down, and turns to Harry, "You're funny", another laugh.
Harry beams back at mom, gesturing to himself, "Comedic genius."
At home, I heavily sigh, frustrated, as I try a couple more slams down on my keyboard, Ally's head peeking down at the screen from her spot on the floor.
"What? No, I don't have any ink. How am I out of ink?", I complain.
Ally lets out a loud snort as I hear Normani's voice through the barricade, "Ha!"
I groan, "Ink is so expensive! I genuinely can't afford to print the document to get me a job so I can afford things like print documents!"
"Well, why don't you just ask your dad?"
I hold back another groan, "I mean, I guess I have to, don't I?", I turn to glance at Ally, "He's gonna be so annoyed, so tedious about it.. Ugh... He'll be happy, he'll be happy, right? He'll be... I did my resume! Yeah?"
Ally shrugs, "I don't know."
Dad's mobile phone starts ringing from inside his pocket. Mae briefly glances up from her magazine, shrugging to herself and looking back down.
Dad casts one curious look at his screen before shutting his laptop close on his lap and picking up the phone.
"Hi, Y/N. This is dad."
I sigh, "Yeah, I know."
"Glad you called", he speaks up as Mae turns to look up at him again, "We've been talking it over. I am gonna help you out."
"That is great news, okay, because I've done my resume, okay?", I state over the phone, proudly, "Thank you. No worries. You're welcome. But, I don't have any money to print it, and I need you to give me money. I need money for ink, please, dad. I love you."
Dad is quick to shake his head, "No, no, no, not with money."
"No, just enough to buy ink to print my resume-"
"No, no, no, Y/N, I am gonna help you. I have a plan, but I still don't trust you with money."
I groan, as Ally watches me curiously.
"Sorry", dad goes on, "You know, I just don't want you going off and spending it on something extravagant like caviar."
Mae clicks her tongue and lightly slaps dad on his back as I sigh over the phone, "Okay. I understand", another sigh, "Although I have to say I think it would be quite odd if I called you to swindle some caviar all of a sudden."
Dad shakes his head dismissively, "Okay, let's not bicker about caviar. I have a surprise for you. I'm coming over."
I tiredly rub my face, "Okay. Bye."
As I drop my cellphone down on my lap, leaning my head back onto the barricade, Ally's curious eyes on me, I hear Normani announce, "Sending!"
"Okay", I look back down at my laptop, opening up my email and muttering to myself, "What has she done?"
Ally chuckles by my side as I open up Normani's file, "Here it is..."
I spare a quick glance over to Ally before starting to read the letter aloud, "'Dear Sir or Madam.' Good, yeah, that's good. 'My name is Y/N. I believe I am the perfect candidate for the advertised position of plus-size model.'"
I quickly deflate as Ally snorts loudly, and I just know Normani is very smugly smirking to herself inside her room.
"Mani, you're gonna be in there forever", Ally comments as I try hard to fight against a smile.
"I'm not fat anymore, okay, Mani?", and I hear both Ally and Normani laughing in accord as I mumble to myself, "Not funny. I'm sensitive about that."
And just as Ally is almost recovering her breath, I look back down at the email and go on, "'I believe many people will find my buxom thighs a refreshing change from the impossible standard set by Hollywood.'"
Ally wheezes loudly, bringing both her hands up to cover her face. I glance at her, holding back a laugh, before getting back to the letter, "It goes on. 'My major skills include baking cupcakes that are a bit dry,' Wha-", I sigh, "'..., bullying, and taking sexual advantage of mentally disabled people. Kind regards, Y/N.'"
I conclude the letter, sighing loudly and trying to contain my smile, as Ally keeps on chuckling.
I scroll down to the bottom of the email, seeing there is a media file attached at the end, and so I click on it. I barely have time to process what is going on in that image when Ally lets out a loud gasp over my shoulder, covering her mouth with her hands.
"And then you attached a picture of me as a voluptuous woman", I state after a couple seconds.
Ally's eyes are still wide as she gapes at the laptop, "Mani, that is a very detailed sketch."
"I don't take advantage, okay? I'm nice!", I complain, "If anything she's taking advantage of my niceness! She's a predator."
"Did you just draw this?"
"Yes", we hear Normani's voice.
At that, I shake my head rapidly, meticulously eyeing the drawing, "I mean, you just didn't... Did you? Like, it's beautiful."
"Well, what else am I supposed to do in here? I have nothing!"
I slowly shake my head, smiling down at the email before shrugging, "Well, I'm sorry, Mani. I mean, we gave you a chance. Ally, can you please turn off the internet?"
Ally sighs and shrugs at Normani's protests, propping herself up and reaching over to the modem.
"No! It wasn't always gonna be you! It was gonna have a girl's head! I only added you just now!", her cries echo around the hall.
Mom and Harry have been in deep silence for quite some time. After lunch, they got a couple clean towels to lie down on and took off to the open patio. Now, lying side by side, they stare up at the trees and the sky, birds chipping.
That's until the door to the patio loudly opens, getting mom's attention, who, then, struggles to hide her smile.
"Nice day for staring at the tree", Stuart smiles down at mom before looking up at the tall branches.
Mom smiles, "Hi, Stuart."
His eyes never leaving the tree, Harry speaks up, "Hey."
Stuart nods down once at Harry, "Mind if I join you?"
Mom smiles more, "Sure."
Without needing another second, Stuart gets down on his knees, shuffling around the grass a bit, and in no time his head is lying on mom's lap.
Mom tries to fight back a blush, stiffing a laugh and diverting her eyes up to the sky.
Harry quietly frowns to himself before speaking up, "Is Stuart's head on your thigh?"
Mom laughs and nods, "Yes."
Harry shakes his head before muttering, "Nah, I'm done with this tree. I'm gonna go home and look at a plant."
And up he goes, almost but not quite missing Stuart's loud farewell, "See ya, Harold!"
"I'm hungry", Normani states, breaking the silence.
Ally looks up from her mobile phone to look at me as I look up from my computer to speak up to the barricade, "Oh! Would you like some macaroni and cheese? I made some macaroni and cheese! It's delicious, it has special truffle oil in it!"
We hear Normani groan, "Sorry, okay? I didn't know!"
"Maybe get a pizza. Me and Ally might get a pizza. Do you want a pizza, Ally?"
"Yeah, I'd like a pizza."
"Will I be allowed pizza?", Normani mopes.
"Nope."
Ally looks back up at me, setting her phone aside, "Can we get Mexican pizza?"
I shake my head, "No. Mexican pizzas are stupid. It does not make sense."
"I love Mexican pizza", Normani sighs.
"Oh, well, then maybe we should get a delicious Mexican pizza!", I giggle as Normani groans.
"Nobody likes you."
Ally squints her eyes at me, motioning to the barricade with a tilt of her head, "I think that we should probably give Mani some pizza."
I scrunch up my face at the thought.
I look up at the ceiling, considering my options, before opening up a sly smile and announcing, "Okay, Mani, uh, you can have some pizza, but what you have to do is you have to order it, and when you order it, you have to ask for extra jalapenos, except instead of saying 'jalapenos' you have to say 'jalla-penos'."
As Ally snorts, I already have the number dialed up on my phone.
"That's the stupidest middle-class dare I've ever heard", Normani laughs out as I hold the cellphone up for her to speak into.
"Yes. Brilliant. Well, it will not be an issue."
"No, I'm not doing that!"
I look up at her, "Can you get me a Hawaiian?"
"Hi. Pete's Pizza", we all hear through the speaker.
Normani is quiet, holding in her laughter, as Ally and I both eye her expectantly.
"Hi", she starts hesitantly, "I'd like to order two pizzas, please."
She scrunches up her face in shame when the phone operator mumbles a quick 'Yep', Ally and I already having trouble staying quiet.
Normani draws in a deep breath, fighting off her smile, "Could I please get a Mexican pizza and a Hawaiian pizza?"
"Okay, pick-up or delivery?"
Normani stiffs in a snort as I raise my eyebrows at her, "Normani?"
We watch as she reluctantly shakes her head to herself before turning back to the phone in my hand.
"Hey...", Ally and I are already fully laughing as Normani closes her eyes, "...can I please get that Mexican pizza... with, uh, extra 'jalla-penos'?"
Ally snorts loudly.
"Jalapenos", the operator says.
"Yeah", Normani repeats, "Jalla-penos!"
We all wheeze.
It's about an hour and a bit later when my dad shows up knocking on the front door.
At this point Harry's gotten home and the four of are lounging around the hall (except for Normani), slouching on the floor, nibbling on pizza, around what would be a couple slices too many by now.
I get up from the floor and walk up to the entrance, dodging opened pizza boxes on the way.
"Hey, dad!", I smile.
"Y/N, good day!"
I greet Mae and turn to little Gracie, shaking her tiny hand, "Mae, hello. Hey, little lady!"
Ally waves and smiles from the floor as I let them in, Harry opens a pizza-full mouthed grin.
"Hey, Y/NN, I got a surprise for you", dad smiles excitedly at me, closing the door behind him, and suddenly his smile falls.
He eyes the big barricade up and down, "What's going on here?"
"Uh, Mani ate all my macaroni and cheese, so I built a fort to get vengeance."
Mae giggles, carefully taking little Grace back from my arms, as dad gapes at all the piled furniture, "I thought... I thought you said you were working on your resume."
"Yeah, I have worked on my resume! I've finished it!"
I reach for long forgotten laptop from its place a couple levels up on the barricade, only managing to get dad's attention back by swiping it open towards his face.
"Here!", I announce, watching his glance finally move from all the pilled up furniture to the screen just as it lightens back up, "Beautiful."
I watch as dad's eyebrows furrow for a second and then go high up, "This is a drawing of you as a fat woman", he states.
I wheeze as Ally speaks up, "Mani did it."
"Very... Very talented, Normani", he mumbles dismissively.
"Thank you, Alan."
Dad hands back the laptop just as he takes notice of the pizza boxes lying around.
He groans, looking back at me and motioning with his hands, "Y/N, Pete's Pizza? This is...", frustrated sigh, "This is a premium product. Where'd you get the money for that?"
I sigh, briefly closing my eyes and leaning back against the wall, maintaining an airy smile, "Dad, what's the surprise?"
At the mention of the topic, dad perks back up again, "While you've been here playing Dungeons and Dragons, Y/N, I have solved all your problems."
Harry immediately raises his eyebrows, "All of them? You've had a busy day."
Ally snorts as Mae lets out a low giggle, having already settled on a corner on the floor, holding Gracie with one arm and reaching for a pizza slice with the other.
Dad, on the other hand, laughs loudly, "Well, obviously not all of them!", he pats me on the back.
I just nod as the laughter dies down, "Yeah, okay. Alright. Alright."
He straightens up again and looks me in the eye, "I got you a job."
I react immediately, "Oh, no."
"I'm gonna hire you."
"No!"
"Negative... Always so negative", he shakes his head looking around at Ally and Harry and The Barricade, before turning back to me, "I bought you a coffee cart."
He is looking straight at me with a glee in his eyes, expectantly.
I sigh, squinting my eyes, "You did what?"
"I bought you a coffee cart!"
I scrunch up my face and doubt and reluctance, but that doesn't affect dad's mood.
My glance meets Mae's, who's also scrunching her eyebrows up at me, pizza in her mouth, baby in her arms.
"A coffee cart, and I'm gonna lease it to you, and you'll pay me a percentage of the profits until you pay it off. It's perfect!"
I pause in silence for a bit as dad looks around again, nodding at people, excitedly.
"What if there are no profits? What happens if there's no profits?", I pan out.
Dad sighs, "Y/N, do you how much people charge for a cup of coffee these days? $2.50, that's how much."
I sigh once more as Ally looks up at me, thinkingly speaking up, "Yeah, I think this is actually good."
Dad points at the blonde, nodding along, "Thanks. Thanks, Ally."
I frown, "$2.50?"
"Yeah."
"How many coffees would I sell in an hour... Like, ten?"
Dad shrugs as I look around, questioning, "Make $25 an hour?"
He nods, "Yeah."
"Is that good?"
I frown looking down at Mae, to find her frowning right back up at me, "No. It's not good."
Dad sighs, "Well, it's more than you'll earn sitting around here on your fat ass, Y/N."
"Alan!", Mae reprimands as I let out a groan mixed with a chuckle.
"You gotta bring my ass into this?"
"Oh, come on, Y/N! Just be grateful!"
He sends me another long expectant look as I let out a deep sigh and lower my glance to the floor.
After some thoughtful seconds I speak up in a mumble, "Can I, like, make adorable sweets and sell the adorable sweets on the cart?"
Dad smiles big, pats my back and claps excitedly, "Yes, yes!"
"I can do that?"
"Excellent idea, that's it! Well done!"
I quietly chuckle, "Okay."
And just like that, his face gets neutral again as he bends down to nudge Mae.
"We've gotta go. Sweetheart?"
Mae shifts, "Wait..."
"See you, Ally. Harry", dad carries on to the door, picking up their bags.
Ally smiles, "Bye-bye."
"See you, Normani!"
"Oh, bye Alan!"
It's all very rushed as Mae groans, "Going already? Can we just sit here for a bit?"
"No, no no no. No, Gracie's been out too long. She won't cope."
"That's not her thing", Mae lets out but dad's already by the door.
A few more goodbyes and a couple of seconds in, and they're gone.
Ally and Harry look up at me just as my mind settles. We can hear their car starting when Harry shrugs.
"I think that's really quite good news", he tries as Ally nods.
I sigh, "It's not bad, is it?", both shake their heads, smiling up a bit, "It's taking a while for it to sink in that it's just not horrible."
I slide down till I'm slouched back on the floor, Cora nestling her head on my lap.
"I think it sounds pretty good", Normani's voice comments.
"Fuck off, Mani."
Time goes by.
Mom and Stuart watch as the clouds are blown around in the sky and the sun changes positions; his head is on her thigh, her hand is on his hair.
At home, I'd only be able to tell by the angle difference in the sunlight peeking in. I don't, though, as my eyes have been fixed on the ceiling for quite some time, and my mind is all over the place.
Cora is napping by my side and the entrance hall is covered with pillows and rugs. My head is resting against a pillow I put up by the foot of the door, Harry's head by my feet, Ally's head against the barricade, and Normani on the other side.
Harry and Ally both have their phones on and resting on their chests, occasionally reaching for the tiny bowl of peanuts on top of the now empty pizza boxes. Normani is doing god knows what; I hear her humming the Desperate Housewives theme song from time to time.
My phone, on the other hand, has been abandoned by my side for a while. My head has been half empty half packed since the four of us settled down into this scenario.
There's airy flashes of Billie rushing through my thoughts, a couple of Lauren. I think back to kiss from earlier today, bringing me back to the one at the aquarium.
My mind goes further back; I think of the drunken moments over at that empty high school basketball court, followed by a couple of other nice ones in my bed. Followed by some not so nice ones the next morning.
When my brain drifts over to the afternoon in the traffic, in my car (before that one smelly incident), I close my eyes shut, sighing.
"Why do we all suck at relationships?", I break the silence streak.
Harry's head turns over to face me, Ally's eyes, though, never leave her phone.
"I don't know", she mumbles back.
"Do we suck?", we hear Normani's voice, "Are we worse than most people?"
Harry chuckles as I immediately nod, "Yes. And you're the worst."
A quick silence follows that, before we hear her voice comment from her room, "Ally and Harry are not that bad at relationships."
That makes Ally drop her phone.
"Yes, they are!"
"Yes, we are!", Harry snorts.
"They've only ever dated, like, two people, added up, right? Both of them were their best friends. Harry's one was gay, Ally's one is you", both of them wheeze as I go on, "Who, on top of being you, is best friends with their other best friend!"
Just as their laughter die down, we hear Normani mumble, "You're not my best friend."
I wheeze, "Yeah, okay, well, then who is your best friend, Mani?"
"No one."
"There has to be someone, okay? It's the best friend you have. They don't have to be good, it's just the best you got."
Ally grabs her phone back, commenting, "I could be your best friend again."
"Oh!", I laugh, as Ally smirks, "All of Mani's dreams are coming true! Best friends!"
"Thank you, Ally", Mani announces, "I'm looking forward to telling you all my secrets."
Harry and I share a laugh while Ally shrugs in response, "I already know all of your secrets. Besides, it wasn't just you two. Harry dated that Louis for a while and I also dated that german guy."
At that, Normani perks up, "What?"
I also scrunch up my eyebrows in confusion, "You were dating him?"
"What german guy?"
Harry shares my confusion, "I thought you were just sexing him."
"Why don't I know about this german guy?"
Harry and I look at each other, giggling at Normani's desperation, before lightly shrugging.
"She's very weird about it", Harry teases, getting the short blonde to snap back in defense.
"No, I'm not! I don't care."
"She'd never let me meet him, she wouldn't talk about it."
I nudge her with my foot, chuckling, "You're weird."
"I can talk about it- No, I'm not", she laughs dismissively before turning back to her phone.
"Do you have a picture?", Normani is the one who asks, because of course she is.
Almost immediately, Ally hugs her cellphone close to her chest and sends me a look.
"Uh, she's making a face that says, 'Yes, I have a picture, but, no, I'm not gonna show it to you'."
"I don't know why you need to see a picture!"
"Why, what's wrong with him?", I question.
Harry follows up, "Is he disfigured?"
She wheezes.
"Germany has a lot of goths", Normani points out from her room, "Did you sex a goth, Ally?"
We all laugh, Ally aggressively shaking her head.
"No! Oh, fine. Just wait", she starts swiping up and down on her cellphone, "I just don't..."
Harry and I both sit up, crouching together on the floor onto a corner. Harry grabs Ally's phone from her hand as she groans, laughingly, squinting her eyes shut.
We press our heads together side by side, both eyeing the screen closely with curiosity.
As the image focuses before my eyes, I exclaim a giggly 'Oh!' as Harry just scrunches up his face.
We hear Normani's eager tone from the barricade, "What does he look like?"
Ally turns back to us, smiling and shrugging, as I shrug once as well, "Fine, he's just..."
"So old...", Harry completes.
The two of us laugh along as Ally frowns and reaches for her cellphone back.
"No, he isn't!", she settles down on her back, eyeing said picture once more and stating, "He's a DILF."
"Let me see."
"I mean, he's pretty good", Harry wheezes, "But, like, in a daddy complex thing."
"Show me!", Normani pleads.
Ally quickly clutches to her phone, looking at Harry and I and quietly shaking her head.
"No, Mani, you don't get phone privileges today."
The blonde giggles as Harry settles back down, lying against a wall.
I reach for a peanut, "Hey, Harry, Ally, I was thinking after we let Mani out, we can move your stuff to Billie's room."
Harry stops his nod half way through when Ally says, "Y/N, I can't."
I frown, "Why?"
She props herself up on her elbows and looks at me, "Y/N, I'm not staying! I told you that. You know that", she nudges Harry, who's still seeming a bit confused.
I try to mask my uncertain emotions as I reach for another peanut while Ally sits up, still looking at me.
"I'm going back to Germany next week."
"Oh."
The way she said, as if it were obvious, it got quite a silent response.
Harry is still eyeing Ally, as if she had more to say, I'm slowly chewing on a peanut, my gaze on the floor, and we hear nothing coming from the barricade.
"I didn't realize that was locked in", I speak up, never meeting her eyes, "I thought that was just, like, an option. I thought that was up for discussion."
"No!"
Mani's voice comes through, "What are you gonna do there?"
I watch as Ally shrugs.
"More forest sustaining?", I question.
"You don't have a job", Normani states, "Why go back?"
She shrugs again, dismissively, "Because! That's where I live now. I have friends there and-"
I squint at her, "What friends? Who are these friends? You had Harry, Harry's staying."
"Alright, fine, maybe I don't have any friends yet."
I let myself fall back down to the cushions on the floor, eyes quickly finding the ceiling as I try to make my tone sound jokingly, "You're going back there for nothing. You're leaving us for nothing."
Ally follows suit, shrugging again and lying back down, "I'm sure I'm gonna find something", she mumbles.
What follows is a good 20 minutes of silence. Defensive silence and disappointment silence. Mostly a broken expectation silence.
As I start to get a bit jumpy, I squeak a 'Who wants some tea', knowing that I was gonna leave to make tea even if the answer is no one, getting up in a flash and seeing as Harry does the same, muttering something about a bathroom and vanishing into another direction.
The hot water is steaming in the pan and Im reaching up to get my favorite teapot from the high cupboard, the dalmation themed one. Making room for all four cups on the tray and turning off the stove, I reach for my cellphone in my back pocket, barely giving it any time to ring at all.
And even though the scrunching on my eyebrows has vanished a couple minutes ago, seeing the name on the display is what invites the light grin onto my face.
"Laauriee!",
She smiles onto the phone, fidgeting with the drawer by her bed, "Yeah, hi. Is this an okay time?"
I nod, "Yeah, of course. Always time for Laaaaaaurie!"
I hear her laugh softly, "Um... I just wanted to let you know that... I'm getting let out."
"Oh, that's good", I lean onto the counter, looking out the window.
"Now you don't have to go on a date with a person on a psychiatric hospital."
"Cool."
"I have other news."
"Yeah?"
"Um... My psychiatrist wants to meet you", she announces in a nervously cheery tone.
"Oh."
I pause for a second, squinting my eyes at the ceiling in doubt, "Is that a normal thing? For a psychiatrist to want to do?"
Lauren shrugs from her bed, "I don't know, I've been seeing her since I was 14. She thinks we have some kind of bond."
"Okay. Is she gonna tell me about all your weird secret... Secret weird things?", I joke, a smile tugging at my lips.
She grins at her phone, "I did think it would be better for you to hear about my dungeon fantasies from her..."
I hum in response, "Yeah, I don't... I don't have a dungeon. I have a carport. Does that work?"
"Of course, YYYYYY/NN!"
"Laaureeeeeeeenn!"
I'm sure my singing and yelling into the cellphone could be heard from the hall, if only Normani's thoughts weren't so loud.
"We weren't a bad couple."
That statement gets Ally to look up from her own phone and glance back to the barricade, slightly frowning.
"Yeah, but, Mani, we weren't great either", she sets the phone aside, sitting up against the furniture, "We just sat around."
From her spot on the floor, Ally shoots me a careful look as I approach the hall carrying the tea tray, making me slow down and quiet down my steps.
"I like sitting around", Normani comments, "We were cute."
Ally softly rolls her eyes, "Okay, yeah, fine. We were cute", she looks at me and silently shakes her head at that, mouthing me a 'no' before turning back to the barricade.
"Do you think it would have worked if you didn't leave?", Normani's voice comes in very quietly.
Ally and I share a wary look. We hear a sigh coming from the locked room as I pour myself some tea and Ally leans her head back against the furniture.
"Mani", she sighs, "I moved to Germany because I wanted to give you space so that we could be friends again. I moved to Germany because we don't work."
I carefully slide down to the floor with my back against the wall, quietly sipping my tea, my eyes never leaving the two.
"We're still best friends, though, right?", Ally tries.
It's quiet for a bit, until we hear Normani mutter, "But I don't understand. You got so jealous of Jenny."
Ally scoffs, "No, I didn't!"
I snort, "Oh, come on, you were so jealous of Jenny!"
"What the fuck? How long has Y/N been there?"
Ally and I stiff a quiet laugh.
"I didn't get jealous", the blonde goes on, "I was just really annoyed that I am now part of the same group as Arin and a high school student."
I laugh into my teacup.
"Y/N, can you please leave?"
I look at Ally and she shrugs.
"Okay."
I don't make a move as another short bit of quiet sets down.
"But it was different with you. I actually liked you", Normani's voice comes out quietly and I watch as Ally's face immediately softens.
She looks at me as I just sip my tea, and sighs, "Well, Mani, of course you liked me. I'm the only grown up female you've ever been with."
When we hear no response, Ally's eyes travel back to me, and this time I just look right back at her. After a moment there's the sounds of sheets flapping and a bit of pacing.
"Mani?", Ally tries.
Nothing.
"Mani..."
And that's when I hear some rattling sounds and some shuffling. In no more than a couple seconds there's a shifting on the front door and Normani's head peeks in.
"I need to pee."
I swallow my tea and furrow my eyebrows in exasperation, "She can get out?"
"Yeah, she can get out through the window", Ally mutters.
"Y/N, just go into your room, okay?", Normani says monotonously, "We did a prank earlier and it was going to be really funny, but it's not funny anymore, so, sorry for wasting all of your ink."
I slightly frown in confusion, the smallest hint of a smile on my face, "Okay?"
With no more than that, Normani walks out. Ally's glance follows her sadly, before turning to face and shrugging lightly. In no time we hear the bathroom door closing and music starts playing.
When I open the door to my bedroom with Ally close behind me, there is nothing that could've prepared me for what I found all over my wall. A smile forces its way into my face as I take in the three huge poster wide pictures displayed beside my bed, formed by a huge amount of paper glued together.
"And that's my truffle oil on your boobs", I pan out, staring at the pictures.
There were three big images printed out; Normani, Ally and Cora, each of them sexily posing with the empty truffle oil bottle in each of their photos.
Ally nods, giggly, "Yeah, well, this is how you were supposed to find out that Normani wasn't locked in her room."
I eye each picture with a grin, before stepping up to Cora's one, in which she lied down on her sleeping cushion, belly up, tongue out, and the truffle oil placed in between her lower legs.
"I mean, not Cora!", I laugh, "Cora can't consent to this!"
"Don't worry, the lid was on tight", Ally comments defensively.
And just then, Harry reappears by the door, snorting and widening his eyes at the odd sight.
"Oh, wow. Okay, now what did I miss?"
We turn around to face him and I vaguely gesture to the bathroom's direction, "Mani's listening to her sad music in the bath again."
Harry nods, "I heard."
I eye Ally carefully as she sighs, turning back to the images, "I know. I fucked up."
"Fucked up", I sigh.
Harry steps into the room, eyeing the wall up and down.
"I mean, this would've been good", I chuckle at the pictures again before turning to Ally, "Would've been good."
She sighs.
The sun is almost setting when Normani creeps back into her room through the window. I'm halfway dismantling the barricade when I see the flash of wet dark hair move around.
I'm on top of a chair looking down into the room from above the reminiscence of furniture pile. I knock twice onto the table on top, grinning once Normani looks up.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, I'm, uh...", I push the table a bit to the side so I manage to climb inside the room, dropping in and looking at her, "I'm sorry you're sad about Ally."
"I'm okay", she mumbles meeting my eye.
"Yeah, well, you know it's okay not to be okay, right?", I beam over at her, perkily winking and giving a thumbs up as she quietly eyes me.
"I'm sorry that you're sad about Billie", she comments, "Even though you seem to have moved on very quickly."
I grin and nod, "Thank you."
We both pause for a bit. I look at her up and down before hesitantly and a bit weirdly opening up my arms.
"Do you wanna... Do you wanna hug?"
She simply eyes me, "No."
I open up another smile, "Yeah? Come on."
I wrap my arms around her as she stays very still. I chuckle.
"Don't touch me."
"Come here."
"Please, don't touch me."
"Oh", I hum, squeezing her softly.
"Please, stop touching me."
"It's good, yeah?", I grab her arms, lifting them up around my body, "Just put your arms..."
"No, not-"
"Just... Mmm. Yeah, it's okay", I feel her slowly holding my torso back, keeping my own arms around her neck, "It's alright. Feels nice."
"Ooh!", we hear Harry's voice from the doorway, followed by some knocking.
I turn us around to be able to look at the door from above Normani's shoulder, smiling up at Ally's and Harry's head peeking into the room.
"What have we interrupted?", Ally grins.
"Oh, no, no interrupting. Please join us."
The two of them climb onto the furniture, jumping into the room. Soon enough they're skipping towards Mani and I as I open up our hug, extending our arms.
"Come, come", I usher us all together.
Harry hums resting his head in between our bodies as Ally looks up at Normani, who's just started trying to fight back a smile.
I grin, "It's nice, isn't it?"
"No-"
"Hey, buddy?", I whisper into her ear teasingly as Ally nods against our chests.
I see Normani's lips tugging into a smile, as she stubbornly mumbles, "It's alright."
"It's good, yeah?"
"It's alright."
"It's alright?"
I grip onto their shoulders, jumping and wrapping my legs around the group. Ally shrieks and Normani smiles, Harry yelps as he tries to keep the group up.
"Is that good?"
I'm hanging from Mani's neck as I bring us all down, falling onto the bed with big smiles on our faces.
And Normani laughs.