"All righty, then," said Professor Gadd once his mentee had significantly thawed out from his trek through the Secret Mine. "The final Dark Moon piece appears to be located in the Treacherous Mansion!"
"Dio," mused Luigi. "That's a name to run away from really fast."
"It's a suitable name," Gadd told him, "because I'm reading the highest levels of paranormal activity ever recorded—in the history of forever!"
"J—s," said Luigi. "They do not wanna let that Dark Moon piece go!"
Fred, Zed and Ned shook their heads, agreeing with him.
"No paranormal researcher worth their salt would go near the place," said Gadd, "but you, on the other hand—well, you don't really have a choice, do you?"
"I suppose not," said Luigi, "seeing that I'm the only one who can recover the last Dark Moon piece."
"Bingo," said Gadd. "Look on the bright side, though! You—um—you—ah—you have a very bushy mustache!"
"That's it? That's all you've got for me?"
Gadd looked sheepish.
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Gee—thanks for the motivation," he said.
"Hey—you also have the Poltergust 5000!" Fred piped up. "And it's recently been upgraded to the Super Poltergust! Don't count that out!"
"Yeah!" the other three Toad Assistants led the charge.
Luigi lanced the Professor with a glare. "The Toad Assistants give better pep talks than you," he said.
"Well—I'm no good at them," Gadd shot back, flustered.
He pulled out a green key and handed it to Luigi. "This is the front door key for the Treacherous Mansion," he said. "It'll make getting into the place a whole lot easier, so don't go losing it!"
"I won't," said Luigi as he tucked the key into one of his pockets.
"We tried to pinpoint the Dark Moon piece," said Zed, "but there's just too much paranormal interference in there."
"So—I take it I'm on my own this time around?" asked Luigi.
Gadd sighed heavily. "I wish I could lie to you, my boy."
"Oh, joy," said Luigi. "This is gonna be fun."
"Good luck," said Gadd. Under his breath, he added, "You're gonna need it..."
"What was that?" asked Luigi.
"Nothing," replied Gadd, hastily activating the Pixelator.
...
Luigi stuck a perfect landing on his feet, directly in front of an ominous-looking iron gate. He pushed it open and drank in the sight of the Treacherous Mansion—a large manor almost the size of that one, resting in the middle of a large ravine. A narrow walkway connected the mansion to the steep cliffs around it.
The wind picked up, blowing Luigi's hat away. He reached out to snatch it back, nearly losing his balance and toppling into the ravine in the process. After taking a few calming breaths, he began the perilous trip across.
Portions of the walkway collapsed as he went, leaving only pitifully thin beams. Combined with the strong winds, these beams put Luigi's sense of balance to the test. Sometimes, he had to hop from one beam to another. He blocked it out—blocked everything out except the need to cross to safety.
Just as the last of the walkway was about to collapse from under him, Luigi took a chance and leaped to the other side of the veranda, laughing hysterically as he barely made it. It didn't take long for him to pull himself together and walk up the steps to the front door.
The Polterpup playfully tackling Luigi to the floor and snatching up the front door key was practically comic relief.
"Hey!" he exclaimed as Polterpup woofed and dashed off. The man in green smacked the ground in frustration. "Bad doggie!"
He got to his feet and was about to take off after the mischievous ghost puppy when something akin to a "spider sense" went off in his brain.
Something was happening inside the Treacherous Mansion.
Swallowing, Luigi peeked into one of the windows to look—and nearly vomited at the sight before him.
Boos floated within, cackling their heads off as they crowded around another portrait of a Toad. This Toad's face and upper body were mottled with bruises, cuts, and a few burn marks—and smeared with blood. Nearby, some more Boos were holding a purple-spotted Toad, who was likewise bruised and bloodied, making him watch as their brethren leered at his imprisoned companion, their tongues licking up the canvas. Then, they carried the Toad portrait away, set down a new canvas and dragged the purple-spotted Toad before it. A familiar mad cackle sounded as a purple bolt of energy struck the Toad, a cackle which mixed with the Toad's screams of agony and horror as he was hit with a second energy bolt, forcing him into the canvas. All of the Boos laughed and cheered at the sight.
Luigi stumbled away from the window, leaned over the side of the veranda and retched into the abyss.
"Oh, God," he rasped, wiping his mouth. "Oh, God..."
He looked up and saw Polterpup gazing sympathetically at him before scampering off.
The Dual Scream rang.
"Yello?"
"Bad dog! That ghost doggie is sitting barely out of reach!"
"Yes, I know," said Luigi.
"If only he knew the trouble he's causing us," sighed Gadd. "Do you happen to have a haunted doggie treat on you? Maybe you can lure him over!"
"I have plenty of those golden bones I keep finding all over the valley," Luigi told him.
"Forgive me—I just realized how ludicrous that sounded," sighed Gadd. "I guess you're gonna need to find some other way in there."
"Guess so," echoed Luigi. "Ciao."
He hung up and headed over to a well, where he drew some Spirit Balls from a chain with a red ball attached to it. Using this chain, Luigi descended into the bottom of the well. After fending off some spiders, he broke down a weakened wall and headed into a guard tunnel, where Polterpup frolicked about, wearing a knight's helmet. Upon catching sight of Luigi, Polterpup shook off the helmet and fled, Luigi using the DLD to follow those spectral paw prints. He didn't get far before he was attacked by two Strong Greenies.
After vacuuming up the Strong Greenies, Luigi had to deal with a Strong Slammer, followed by another Strong Greenie who managed to blindside him a couple of times with a roundhouse punch. After defeating them all, Luigi collected another gold bone and resumed following Polterpup's paw print trail.
At the cliffside, Luigi opened a gate which took him into a ceremonial chamber. He saw Polterpup on the other side of the chamber, observing him, only to have the spectral pooch flee once more. Using a nearby web ball, Luigi burned away some cobwebs and lit all of the torches in the room. Just as he extinguished the web ball, a suit of armor seated upon a throne was hoisted into the chamber.
Whirling at the sound of clanking footsteps, Luigi saw another suit of armor, clutching a spear, step toward him. He dove out of the way of the armor's initial attack, and then the suit chased him around the ceremonial chamber. Noticing the carpet in the center of the room, he tricked the suit of armor into stepping on it before literally yanking the rug out from under his pursuer. The armor clattered to the floor, revealing that a Greenie had possessed it all along. That Greenie was inside the Poltergust in seconds.
The other suits of armor in the ceremonial chamber attacked Luigi one by one, armed with medieval weapons such as axes and maces. He subdued them in the same fashion—tricking them onto the rug before yanking it away, and then stunning and sucking up the Greenie possessing each suit. When all of the Greenies were defeated, Luigi sat down on the throne to rest. The throne suddenly jolted, lowering him into some haunted catacombs.
Silently, Luigi worked his way through the labyrinthine catacombs, Polterpup's paw prints providing the only sense of direction. During his search, he came across another timed red-coin challenge, which he completed with five seconds to spare. Later, he found his way into an underground lab, where he encountered two Strong Greenies acting out a scene from Frankenstein, with a suit of armor standing in for the famous monster. They abandoned the suit of armor in favor of attacking him, managing to get in a painful punch each before Luigi vacuumed away their protective goggles. A Strong Sneaker joined the fray, scaring him while he was trying to vacuum up the Strong Greenies. Five tries later, he defeated the small horde of ghosts, and then he decided to finish the Strong Greenies' little experiment out of curiosity.
Well—the suit of armor didn't come to life. But it did spit out a Boo.
"Arf, arf! Grrrrrr..." the Boo said ominously. "Better run from Boolldog!"
Boolldog had 40 HP, but it just meant that it took longer for Luigi to subdue them. After capturing Boolldog, Luigi used the suit of armor's discarded helmet to reveal a gem—and a diamond, at that!
"Who in Earth is leaving these valuable gems around?" Luigi asked no-one in particular.
He exited the underground lab and emerged back into the maze of catacombs, where he put on his music and resumed combing the area for any sign of Polterpup. Along the way, he collected more diamonds, burned away more cobwebs and turned his Poltergust on any ghost that dared to impede him. One door took him back to the cliffside, where there were more diamonds and other various treasures to collect. Eventually, however, the spectral paw prints led him to some dungeon cells, where he had to fight off some Strong Hiders before discovering some water leaking out of a barrel. Thanks to this water source and a conveniently-located bucket, he could water some plants, which spat out gold bars and dollar bills.
Luigi searched the dungeon cells top to bottom, eventually finding Polterpup hiding inside a small chest. The ghost puppy leaped out, circled Luigi's legs a few times, and then flopped onto his back. Kneeling down, Luigi gave Polterpup a few belly rubs.
"May I have the front-door key back, please?" Luigi asked when he was finished.
As if in reply, Polterpup licked Luigi's face before trying to make a run for it. Unfortunately, he didn't get far. Luigi gave the cute paranormal pup a regretful look before stunning him and finally sucking him into the Poltergust.
He scooped up the front-door key and walked out of the dungeon cells. Just when he reached the stairway, the Dual Scream rang.
"Yello?"
"Bravo, Luigi! Someone needs to put a leash on that pooch!" exclaimed Gadd. "Eh, you're pretty far from the mansion's entrance now. It'll be faster for me to bring you back here and then send you to the front door."
"Yeah—the Poltergust is getting a little full, too," said Luigi, "and I took some hits during my pursuit, as well."
"All the better reason to bring you back," said Gadd. "Hold on!"
"Ciao," said Luigi.
These creepy catacombs were starting to wear on his nerves, anyway.
...
"Nice work hunting down that front-door key," said Gadd. "That dog really took you for a walk!"
"He did," said Luigi.
"Let's hope Polterpup stays in the Vault this time around," said Fred as Luigi emptied the Poltergust.
"He will," said Gadd. "I made some adjustments to the capture mechanism so he won't escape."
Luigi looked concerned. "Just—don't hurt him, all right? That's all I ask of you."
"It's official, then," sighed Gadd. "He's grown on you."
"Can you really blame me?" asked Luigi.
"Not really. No." Gadd cleared his throat and changed the subject. "You didn't encounter as many ghosts as I thought you would."
"Most of them were enhanced," Luigi told him.
"Well—that was just the basement," said Gadd. "Who knows what the rest of the place has in store for you?"
"That—is a prospect that I don't exactly relish," Luigi said uneasily.
"The mansion looks a lot creepier than the last time I saw it," Gadd went on. "I wonder who's been redecorating...?"
Luigi decided not to tell Gadd about the unnerving scene he'd glimpsed through the Treacherous Mansion's window.
"Anyhoo, I'll adjust the Pixelator to send you to the mansion's entrance," said Gadd. "That'll provide you with a safer gateway to look for the final Dark Moon piece."
"Thanks, Professor," said Luigi.
He turned and headed back into the lounge, in dire need of another glass of sweet wine.
...
October 2011
He cruised down the freeway in his car, singing along to the tune playing on his sound system. After two weeks of freedom, he'd never felt so alive. Despite wanting to go straight to Luigi's residence and make him wish he'd never been born, he knew that good things came to those who waited. And didn't a good King discuss his plans with his constituents before enacting them?
King Boo got off the freeway and pulled into Big Boo's Burgers, a recently established fast food chain. After maneuvering his vehicle into a parking space, he climbed out, locked his doors and floated into the building.
"Welcome to Big Boo's Burgers," said the Boo manning the cash register. "We charbroil the biggest burgers for the best Boos. What can I get for you today?"
King Boo reached up and removed his shades, causing the smaller Boo's mouth to drop open in shock.
"Your Grace," gasped the Boo. "How did you...?"
"It's a long story," said King Boo. "One that I'd love to tell you over your Signature Big Boo Single Meal with a large root beer. Hold the onions and hold the mayo, if you please."
"Of course, Your Grace," said the Boo. "This meal's on the house."
"Thank you," smiled King Boo.
The Boo then turned to the other employees. "Attention, everyone—we have a very special guest here. Our King has returned!"
All of the Boos—from the cooks to the janitors to the dishwashers—swiveled around to face their King, who'd somehow escaped from his unjust confinement after ten years!
"No—way," one of them said.
"Way," said the cashier Boo. "Since this is our King we're talking about, we need to make sure that his order is perfect. We've got a Signature Big Boo Single Meal with no onions and no mayo. Let's hop to it!"
The Boo gave King Boo a cup for his root beer. After getting his drink, the King made himself comfortable in one of the booths. Two minutes later, the Boo cashier brought his meal out to him.
"Thanks," said King Boo.
In no time flat, all of the Boo employees gathered around their King, listening as he narrated his daring escape from the clutches of Professor Elvin Gadd.
"After a few words with a seemingly innocent stranger, he was ready to give up my portrait like it was nothing," he laughed. "Of course, that's what he believed..."
"So—you conjured up an illusion of a stranger to charm your captor with a silver tongue?" gasped one Boo.
"You'd better believe it," said the King, "and that was before I got ahold of this power-enhanced gem." The gem in question glowed atop the King's crown as he spoke.
"Whoa. You're a bad—s, Your Grace," mused another Boo. "Isn't he a bad—s, people?"
The other Boos cheered their assent.
"We were wise to choose you as our King," said a third Boo.
King Boo took a big bite out of his Boo Burger. "Let me ask you something," he said. "Do you like working here?"
"Well..." said a Boo. "We had to do something with our time after he humiliated you, so we opened up this nice burger joint."
"Do you like working here?"
The Boos exchanged looks.
"I cry at night," said one Boo.
"That's what I thought," said King Boo.
"We've talked about ganging up on that man in green and f—ing him up," said yet another Boo, "but we realized that it wouldn't be as satisfying without you."
"Exactly," grinned King Boo, "and I know just the way to get to him."
"Do tell," said a Boo.
"We'll instruct him on the matters of loss and pain," hissed King Boo. "We'll make him suffer—make him wish he were dead. And then we'll grant his wish."
"Conjuring up another 'mansion' won't work," said a Boo. "He'll probably see right through it."
"You won't have to do that," said King Boo. "The Professor has relocated to a place called Evershade Valley, which is chock-full of ghosts." He giggled. "When I was resting up in a hotel after my escape, I did some research on the valley. The ghosts there are super-friendly because of an artifact called the Dark Moon, hanging in the sky. But..." He giggled again. "...if something somehow happened to the Dark Moon, if it was—somehow shattered beyond repair—then the good Professor would find himself trapped in an unsafe work environment."
"Keep going," said one Boo.
"The Professor would then cry out to our good friend, Luigi, for help," King Boo went on. "We'll let the manic ghosts wear him down first—and then—we'll pounce." He cackled. "After that, we'll have all the time in the world to take our overdue revenge."
Silence. Then—
"I like it!"
"I like it, too!"
"Sounds like an excellent plan, Your Grace!"
The Boos excitedly chattered among themselves at the prospect of helping their King pay back his enemies for what they'd done.
"I hope you've still found time to—practice," said King Boo.
"We have," the Boos said in unison.
"Good," smiled King Boo, "because in order to carry this out, I'm going to need your special power. You do know the special power I'm talking about, don't you?"
The Boos nodded. Then, one by one, they merged together until they formed into one colossus of a Boo.
"Yes," said King Boo, relishing in the return of his second-in-command. "Yes!"
He cackled, and the colossal Boo cackled with him.
"Ready or not, Luigi—here we come!"