"What's wrong with being a little chaotic?" He asks, his head doing a puppy tilt. "I kinda like it."
"I don't know..." I mumble and Jungkook lifts his back from the headboard and places his hands on my hips.
"I like this," he begins "what we're starting to have. I've never had this before and I want to try it with you."
"What is it that we have?"
"Something," he says, his eyes drifting away to find the right words to phrase it. "Something interesting and beautiful." His gaze finds mine and his hands caress my hips signaling me that I am that beautiful thing he's talking about.
"I like this too." I admit. "I like you and I think it's weird that I like you."
"You like me now huh?" He smirks. "Or do you like the things I do to you?"
"I do like and don't like the things you do to me." I say truthfully and he raises a questioning brow. "I like the way you treat me now and I appreciate the little things you do for me but if I'm being honest I'm kind of scared."
"Scared of what?"
I suck in a breath. "You." Then I let it out.
"I'm scared too." He says in a whisper. "I'm scared of myself too."
"Why?"
"I'm kind of fucked up in the head." He replies dryly.
"That's not an answer." I say.
"Well, it's all you're gonna get for now." Jungkook tells me and one of his hands abandon my hip and touches my cheek. "Because I want to enjoy some time with you like this."
What exactly does that even mean? "Like this?"
"With you not knowing."
"Not knowing what?" This twenty questions game is starting to irritate me. "Come on tell me! Please?"
But Jungkook shakes his head and I pout. "You're so fucking adorable when you don't get what you want."
I hit his arm. "Not funny."
"It's not a joke. Your lips look thicker when you pout and it makes me want to do this-" He says, his lips finding mine halfway. My hands snake around his neck and I pull him closer to me. His chest mashes against mine and I can feel his rapid heartbeat through his ribcage. The kiss is soft and delicate almost like he meant it as a sweet apology.
I break the kiss first and he whines. "Why won't you tell me what's going on?"
"Because I want you like this baby. Clueless and innocent."
"What do you have a sex dungeon or something?" I say jokingly and he laughs.
"You would want me to have one of those though."
I smack his arm playfully. "Shut up."
"Gladly," he smiles and then kisses me again. This time the kiss gets a little bit more daring as his tongue finds mine and he sucks on it invitingly. His hand now cups my cheek while the other roams somewhere along the small of my back. My pelvis grinds against his and he groans. "Tell me something random about you."
"Like what?" I pipe. "Define random."
"Not necessarily personal, unless you want to share."
I say the first thing that comes to mind. "I really like fries with oreo ice cream."
Jungkook chokes on his spit. "What? Are you serious?"
"Yes, it's really good! It's the best snack." I say proudly.
"Why on earth would you even combine these two foods?"
"Okay so listen up," I start. "When I was in high school, I used to work as a waitress and when I graduated I used my savings to travel to Korea with Joy."
His eyes immediately light up. "Wait, you went to Korea?"
"Yup," I say. "We went to Seoul and we did many fun things, some are embarrassing so I won't even get into them-anyways, on the way back to the airport we stopped at a McDonald's to grab a bite. Only, I don't really trust the quality of the meat, so I took fries and ice cream." Jungkook looks at me with an expression of disgust. "Don't look at me like that! It actually tastes really good."
"I find that hard to believe."
"Anyways, I was bored of plain fries and I don't like ketchup so I dipped the crispy potato in the ice cream and that's when I made this life changing discovery."
"You don't like ketchup!" He cries.
"I enjoy barbecue sauce." I say.
"Thank God."
"Your turn now." I say. "Tell me something about strange or peculiar yourself."
Jungkook tips his chin as he takes his time to think. "I enjoy filming and taking pictures." He finally says.
"Something that I don't already know." I chime. "We're both majoring in Film Studies."
"I paint sometimes." He says lowly.
He's artistic. Sexy. "Is it okay if I see one of your masterpieces?"
Jungkook looks away conspicuously. "I kind of stored them somewhere." He says quickly
"However, I've been wondering this ever since I saw you perform at the Golden Closet. You dance like a professional. The stunts you pulled on the pole made me think that you've been beating yourself up for years in order to achieve that feather light effect that's laced within your movements. When you're on stage you don't just dance or do splits on the pole-you don't dirty dance, you're like an acrobat and you captivate the crowd with your performances. You're an artist."
My eyes widen at his observation. "How many times have you seen me perform exactly?"
"It takes just one glance and a keen eye to see it."
"See what?" I ask.
"The pain." Jungkook says in a whisper. "You're not like the other dancers in the nightclub. The way you move on stage, you seem so confident, you feel powerful up there because all eyes are on you. You remind me of those street performers, the snake charmers specifically that play a certain melody to hypnotize a cobra using an instrument called pungi. Only you don't use an instrument-you use your body to charm your audience."
Eye Candy is capable of pulling stunts like that. Elena, on the other hand isn't as assertive. "The real reason why I'm so confident with myself on stage is because nobody knows who I am." Therefore I feel free to do as I please.
"However," he continues "its strange, but even though you're so alluring and a whole other person on stage, I can see past that."
"What exactly do you see?" I ask holding my breath.
"I can't really explain it, but when I saw you on stage for the first time I had this feeling like you were trying to suppress a bad memory."
I stare at him aghast. This isn't the first time that Jungkook manages to see right through me. It has been years ever since-I survived a traumatic event and I worked so hard to keep that dark memory in bay. I never talked about it with anyone and I'm not sure whether I'm ready yet.
"Who hurt you?" Jungkook asks in a whisper.
I pull away from him and sit down on the bed, not saying a word.
"Elena," he starts. "You know you can tell me anything."
"What?" I snap. "So, you're allowed to not open up about your past and I have to tell you everything?" I cross my arms and look away from him.
Jungkook only draws in closer to me instead of pushing me away. His hands cup my cheeks and lift my head up. "Look at me."
I continue to look down. Tears well in my eyes as the memory makes an appearance on my mind. I suck in a breath and close my eyes feeling the warmth of Jungkook's hands on my skin. I concentrate on that sensation and I feel safe again.
"Elena," Jungkook's voice says. "Breathe."
I open my eyes and our gazes lock. I inhale deeply and then exhale. "I'm sorry." I finally let out.
He smiles, his thumbs tracing circles on both of my cheeks. "It's okay."
"Really?"
"Yeah," he says. "I don't want to ruin our first date by arguing. Let's not fight about the past."
"I like the sound of that." I beam and his arms snake around my waist pulling me close to him.
He kisses my forehead softly yet tenderly and I can feel my heart explode into the tiniest of bits. "You can tell me about it whenever you feel ready."
"The same goes for you." I say and peck him on the lips.
"How about I tell you my secret when you tell me yours?" He suggests.
"Why do I have to be the one to reveal it first?" I ask. "You owe me one from the Golden Closet."
Jungkook laughs to himself. "Look, I'm not saying that your secret isn't as serious but mine is pretty fucked up."
"You don't even know my secret!"
"Well I'm pretty confident that mine is 'better' than yours." He makes a quotation mark gesture when he says 'better'.
"Better in what sense?" I ask.
"Better as in worse than yours." He replies.
I'm confused. "What?"
He extends his hand above the headboard and flicks off the light. Then he lays us both down on his bed and I rest my head against his chest feeling the rhythm of his soft heartbeat.
"We have early classes tomorrow." He says.
"You're avoiding the subject." I tell him and tilt my head up to look at him. Even in the dark, his black eyes shine like diamonds. We stay like this for a while, his arm embracing me while he plays with my hair with his free hand. I trace imaginary shapes on his clothed chest as I feel it heave up and down as he breathes.
"Can you promise me something?" He suddenly says breaking the peaceful silence that enveloped us.
"Hmm?"
"When I tell you my secret," Jungkook starts "promise me you won't think less of me." He adds in a whisper. I can see it in his eyes that whatever it is that stirs up this worry-this insecurity, it has to be something serious.
"I won't." I say. "I promise."
A smile appears on his beautiful round face. "Thank you."
"But you should promise me the same." I tell him. "I don't want you to think of me differently when I tell you my secret." He takes my hand in his and lifts it up to his face. His soft lips touch my skin and I gasp when he kisses it.
"I promise baby."
I'm sorry for being away so long🖤