A thick crack runs from the top corner of the window to the center where it's cut off suddenly. There's specs of dirt and hardened mud splattered over the glass along with other stains from years of enduring Mother Nature. The leather seats are torn, yellowing foam puffing out from the rips, but with the amount of times Eddie has slid himself over the seats he's might as well of smoothed the foam to its opening.
He's been sitting inside that car for almost an hour now. He doesn't need to look at the crack or the mud to know it's there. It's imprinted in his mind, there to stick and stay for as long as he climbs into the front of the car. He doesn't mind the image being there, though. It's nice to conjure up when he's not there, something to daydream about when nothing else is around him to bring him comfort.
Even Eddie himself doesn't understand why he finds comfort sitting inside an old, abandoned car. He doesn't know it's previous owner, or why it's been sitting at the base of a junk pile at the edge of Derry's train yard.. all he does know is that it's there for free use. And use is what he puts it to.
There's about 100 other places Eddie could go to in Derry, 100 other places that's not the front seat of this dingy, rusted, abandoned car. He could go to those places but no, he choses this one. Because unlike those others, it gives him the same sense of warmth and soothing comfort he's been searching for. When he was younger, he thought he found it in the palm of his mother's hand. But now all he sees are pills. Pills and the white paper bag with his inhaler medication.
Just under two hours ago, Eddie arrived home from the library. He didn't get a chance to escape to his room before Sonia stopped him in the entry hallway. He stood in the middle of his kitchen, head bowed and jaw set as Sonia slammed a bottle of pills against the counter and continued to yell.
She's been like this for a while, always on edge and upset. It may be because Eddie's forgetting to take his pills more often, and if that's the case, he partly blames himself for his mother's behavior. But that also doesn't mean she has to yell at him. What happened to the soft, motherly-concerned tone of her voice? What happened to the comfort? The safety of a mother's open arms?
Eddie sighs, his breath hot inside the increasingly stuffy car. He would crack open the drivers seat door and let the sharply cold air sweep in, but he's finally found a comfortable position and doesn't want to move. Paper Towns by John Green is propped up in his lap, his reddening fingers holding down the corners of the pages. He's halfway through, getting to the part where Q and his two friends are breaking into an abandoned minimall.
Eddie may break into abandoned cars, but breaking into an abandoned building is something he'd never do. He shifts the book in his lap and flips the page. He focuses his eyes on the inked words, yet after a moment they seem to blend in with the paper as his mind takes off.
He wonders when he'll go home. How mad his mother would be. She doesn't work, instead living off Eddie's late grandparents money she inherited, so sneaking in when she's gone is close to impossible. But there is a bright side to this whole situation. Saturday nights are Eddie, Stanley, and Bill's movie nights. They stay up as late as possible, watching up to 2-3 movies until one of them passes out.
But it wasn't always those three. Well, it was three, but not those specific three. First it was Bill, Stanley, and Georgie who huddled in the Denbrough's living room with the lights off and cups full of hot chocolate. Georgie would hog the popcorn and Bill would argue to get it back. But, when the unskippable previews finished and the movie started up, they all quieted.
Then, one October came. Movie nights were always quiet after that.
Months after, March to be exact, Eddie moved to Derry and the rowdiness of movie nights slowly seeped back into the Denbrough's living room.
Eddie, focus
He breaths in deeply and blinks, returning the focus to his vision and to the page. It's cold outside, Eddie feels it on his scalp every time he leans his head against the window, but inside the car is warm. He's content, comfortable, and goes back to reading. His mother slips from his mind, and his pills, inhaler, and homework all go with her. It's just him, the emptiness of the abandoned car, and the words under his fingers.
~~~
A blanket gets tossed Stanley's way, smacking into the cushions beside him. "Get better aim," he says as Bill stands up from the pile of extra blankets.
"M..Move a little to the ruh-right and maybe I won't.. miss." Stan shakes his head a little and grabs the blanket. He attempts to flap it out over his legs but he struggles, the thin fabric getting tangled with his feet and refusing to unfold itself.
"Did you get the popcorn?" Eddie asks, glancing up from the CD player as it sucks in the movie.
"Yeah," Bill responds and looks to the kitchen. "I can go p..put it in the m-muh-microwave now while the previews stuh-start."
Stanley breaths out and irritated breath and balls up his blanket. "I'll come with," he says as he stands off the couch and leads Bill to the kitchen.
Eddie plays with the buttons of the remote, listening to the robotic whirl of the CD player working and sputtering. The screen fades into blue before flashing into green, bold white letters of warnings appearing. Eddie shuffles to his usual spot on the couch. He can hear the microwave beep loudly as Bill inputs the cooking time.
It takes a few minutes of watching previews before Stanley and Bill come back. Stan carries three mugs of both water and hot chocolate while Bill sets the popcorn down on the floor, a few feet away to avoid accidental spills.
"What movies are we watching?" Stanley asks, watching the TV and holding his cup up over his lap.
"I just put in Call Me By Your Name," Eddie says, "and Bill picked out two other movies. I think they were.." he trails off as he tried to remember and Bill takes his break to correct him.
"Three movies, ah-actually. This one," he says and motions to the screen, "Luh-Love, Rosie, um.. the Joker b-because I know S..Stanley wanted to see it, and The Christmas Cruh-Chronicles."
"Well that's a variety of movies," Stanley says and Eddie nods, silently agreeing.
"Yeah.. I, I wanted to get a fuh-few different ones because last time they were ah-all scary ones," Bill explains, his eyes flickering from the TV to his two friends.
"I hated that movie night," Eddie says as he crosses his arms. He will watch horror movies, but three of them in a row was something he did not enjoy very much.
With nothing more to continue the conversation, the three fall silent and snuggle into the couch. Bill had picked up the popcorn bowl when he got situated and sat it in his lap as he was in the middle.
The only noise in the room is a preview for an already released movie until Stanley adds more. "Isn't.. Call Me By Your Name about two.. gay guys?" He asks, his head turning to face his friends.
Bill nods and Eddie looks over, too. "I've heard th..the ending is sah-sad, though." Stanley only nods and returns his attention to the screen. Eddie's eyes fall to the floor, studying it before settling into the couch once more. "Is th-that okay?" Bill asks suddenly. "The.. gay part, I muh-mean."
Stan nods, his eyes narrowing in defense. "Yeah, it's okay. I was just wondering." Bill nods and says a quiet, "Okay."
Eddie sips on his water, his eyes diverted as he thinks. He's never watched a movie revolving around gay people. Love, Simon piqued his interest when it first came out and he brought the idea up to his mom, who in return went to do her research. She came back to Eddie and outright forbid him to see it. She'd freak if she knew what Eddie was about to see.
The three didn't get around to watching The Christmas Chronicles. Bill passed out sometime during Love, Rosie and the other two let him have the couch, moving to the ground with their blankets pooling around their waists.
Eddie turned the TV off when they realized Bill had fallen asleep. Yellowing light emitting from the street lamps barely casts enough to light up the living room, turning into tiny fireworks through the windows. Stanley's head leans up against the couch, inches away from Bill's foot.
"Do you know when we have to leave in the morning?" Eddie asks, his dried out eyes staring into the nothingness that fills the doorway of what would be the kitchen.
"He said around noon," Stanley's tired voice responds. "Why?"
Eddie shrugs. "I got into another fight with my mom. I don't want to go home, but I know I have to sometime."
He hears Stanley sigh. It's not an annoyed sigh, more like an apologetic one. "You could come over to my house tomorrow," he suggests but Eddie shakes his head.
"It's better not to piss her off more. She's already upset with me enough."
"Eddie, it's not your fault," he says. Something shifts from within the darkness and Eddie looks to where Stanley is supposed to be sitting. "I know you guys fight about your medicine, but if that were me, I wouldn't want to take all that either."
"It's not just that, Stan," Eddie sighs and lets his head hit the wall he's leaning on. "She's been on me about where I am, what I'm doing.. Like, she even took my phone one night and went through it! With no warning, too!"
"Shush, Eddie. You're gonna wake Bill up."
"Sorry.."
Eddie closes his eyes, them stinging slightly from how dry they are. It's not even that late, just a little past midnight and Eddie's stayed up a lot later before.
"Why do you think she's being that way?" Stanley asks and Eddie lifts his head.
"How am I supposed to know?" He shoots back.
Stanley sighs again, softly, before saying, "Fair."
Eddie looks down at his hands, guilt punching him hard in the gut. His lips part, an apology pushing at his tongue to get out. He doesn't mean to be so rude, truly. As tall, usually nice Stanley says: short people find it hard to keep their emotions in with such little space. "C-cluh-closer to Hell, actually," Bill always adds.
"Do you think we should invite Richie to our next movie night?"
Eddie looks up, but there's nothing to look at in the expanding darkness. "How come?" He asks and he can hear Stanley shrug.
"We can invite Beverly, too. For Bill." He goes quiet for a second before adding, "I think he might like her."
Eddie snorts softly, a small smile on his face. "Bill likes Beverly?"
"I said maybe, Eddie."
"Yeah, sure," he says as he nods. "Why invite them, though?" Stanley doesn't say anything for a moment and Eddie lets him think. He trains his eyes on the outline of his feet as he waits. His eyes strain, them hurting as he forces his eyes to focus on what he might think be the corner of his blanket.
"He seems cool. Richie," Stan finally says.
Eddie blinks, trying to his best to rid of the dull ache that sits behind his eyes. "Richie? Cool? We must be thinking about two different people here," Eddie says and he hears Stanley shake his head.
"I'm being serious! They already sit at our lunch table, why not invite them over next weekend?" Eddie inhales deeply, looking away as he thought it over.
"I dunno, maybe," he says. "I know Bill won't mind, but it's still his house. You can ask him in the morning."
"Me?" Stanley repeats.
"Yes! You're the one who wants to invite them," Eddie says and Stanley shakes his head.
"Fine. I'll ask him when he wakes up."
"I'm aul-already awake."
He shifts from the couch and a moment later, a soft light from the lamp flickers on. Stanley cringes away, shielding his eyes as Eddie only blinks.
"Morning," Eddie says and Bill smiles lightly, shaking his head. His hair is ruffled and unkempt, his usual bed head Stan and Eddie see every morning. "How long have you been awake?" Eddie asks and Bill's eyes flicker to him.
"N-not long. I've been awake luh-long enough to listen to y-you shit on Rich.."
Stanley laughs softly and Eddie's eyes sharpen to a glare. "I was not shitting on him!" He defends. "I was just saying, Bill, that if Richie were to join our movie night..." He falters, his lips parted as he thought.
"Were to what?" Stanley asks and Eddie looks away, mouth closing in defeat.
"Like I've been saying!" Stanley says and looks behind him to the slumped over Bill, "Eddie doesn't really hate Richie."
"Shut up, Stanley!"