Chapter Twenty:
With My Dying Breath, I Love Thee
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
It had gotten worse. Mabel had gotten so much worse so quickly.
The doctors said she had around a fifty percent chance of living and a fifty percent chance of dying. Mabel shut down completely for hours when she heard those odds.
She wouldn't talk to anyone. She wouldn't talk to her brother, her sister, her parents, her friends. She wouldn't even talk to Anne.
Her not talking to Anne was the most worrisome of them all. Anne didn't know what to do when she walked into her bedroom to see Mabel.
Her skin was pale, paler than the whiteness that coated the ground outside her home. Her rosy cheeks seemed to flush bright red against her skin. Her hair flared out against the pillow. Her lips were cracked and and it looked like a spider was crawling out of her scar.
Infection.
She prayed to God above that Mabel would survive this. That it wasn't sepsis.
Even in her worse state, Anne still thought Mabel was the most beautiful thing she'd ever laid eyes on.
"Wh-What are you looking at?" Mabel's voice was weak and croaky from the lack of use as she stared up at Anne.
Anne sat on the edge of her bed, her legs crossed and a book open in her lap.
"Just.. Just you." Anne said tearfully, a sad smile painted across her freckled face.
Mabel cracked a smile as her eyes fluttered, "But-"
She cut herself off with a violent cough as she lurched forward, covering her mouth with her arm as she struggled to breathe.
Anne watched in horror as she slowly leaned back to rest against the pillow, "So-Sorry, Anne.. Why were you looking at m-me?"
Anne cleared her throat, looking down at the book silently for a moment before looking back up at Mabel. "Because.. You're just so nice to look at."
Mabel smiled faintly, her eyes fluttering shut. "Thank you."
~~
Anne left shortly after Mabel had fallen asleep, only leaving when she was sure, one hundred percent sure, that Mabel was only sleeping.
Once the Barnes's front door had shut behind her, the emotions flooded from Anne. They poured out like a dam breaking in the summertime.
Her chest heaved up and down as she slid down against a tree, her bare hand digging into the snow as she sobbed.
Anne couldn't imagine losing Mabel. Mabel was her closest friend, her confidant, her shoulder to cry on, her listening ear, her everything. Mabel meant absolutely everything to Anne. Anne loved Mabel. She loved Mabel dearly.
A world without Mabel is a world Anne didn't want to live in. Her days would certainly be much, much darker. Mother earth wouldn't be nearly as beautiful without Mabel. The bright colors of fall and spring would be duller.
Anne couldn't, and certainly didn't want to, imagine going the rest of her days without Mabel by her side.
Anne loved Mabel. She loved her. She loved Mabel so dearly, so purely, so deeply.
Anne loved Mabel more than she loved anything else in the world. Anne loved Mabel.
~~
The sun had fallen behind the trees hours ago. Mabel sat in her bed, her back pressed against the pillow as she held the pencil in her shaky hand.
Mabel didn't know if she would survive this. The doctor said that the following few days would be crucial in if she survived or not.
What she did know, however, is that she couldn't bare to leave the earth without telling Anne how she felt.
Dear Anne,
The girl with fire for hair,
I don't know if I'm going to live through this week. I certainly hope I do, solely so I may be blessed enough to see your face once more. But if you're reading this, it means I'm no longer walking the Earth. If this is the case, I want you to know one thing for sure.
I love you, Anne. I love you so incredibly much that it hurts. I love you, I've loved you, and I'll love you. I'll love you until the day I die, even if that is sooner than I hoped.
I have hidden several other letters throughout my room. You have my permission to search for them.
Anne, if I pass, I want you to smile. I don't want you to cry over me, I want you to smile in remembrance. I want you to laugh, I want you to love, I want you to find joy in the little things.
I want you to find a wife for my dear brother Edward. I can't bare to think about him living alone for the rest of his life.
I want you to move on. I want you to be happy with Gilbert, or whoever has the key to your heart.
Even if I long for it to be me, it isn't. I don't want you to feel bad for not loving me as I love you. It isn't your fault, Anne. We love who we love, I can't help that I fell in love with someone that I cannot have.
It was inevitable, really. Anyone who has the pleasure of knowing you has fallen in love with you. None as much as I, of course. I love you so deeply, Anne. I love you so purely.
If I must pass in the following days, I can only hope I die dreaming of you.
With my dying breath, I love thee.
Love, Mabel
The girl who longs for
the one with flames for
hair
By the time Mabel had finished the letter, hot tears were streaming down her face. Her fingers brushed along the edges of the paper as she folded it.
She lifted the letter up to her lips, pressing a kiss against it. "I-I hope it finds you well."
"Who is that for?" Edward's voice startled her as she looked over.
"N-No.. No one, Ed.." Mabel slowly shook her head, holding the paper close to her chest.
"It's for Anne, isn't it?" He said slowly, pushing himself off of the wall and taking steps toward Mabel.
Mabel breathed heavily as she stared up at him. "N-N- I-"
Edward laughed, though Mabel could hear a saddness in the undertone of it. "I'm not dense, you know."
Mabel furrowed her eyebrows, "B-But, I-"
Edward raised his hand, "Please. Don't try to argue with me.. Save your strength. I see the way you look at her. It's alright, Mabel. I won't tell mother or father. I won't tell anyone."
Mabel furrowed her eyebrows, unable to find any words to say to him. She shakily raised her hand, placing the letter against his chest. "If I.. If I die.. Please.. gi-give it to her."
Edward frowned, looking down at her hand. "Okay."
"Th-Thank you."
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
{ Word Count: 1172 }
{ A/n: *loud angry and annoyed screams* that is all. thanks for coming to my ted talk. }
{ Edited: No }