Anyone who has come in contact with Leaf Coneybear for more than 5 minutes could probably tell you that he was a weird kid. He ran around with a bike helmet and a cape attached to him, he practically lived on apple juice and gummy worms, and he just wouldn't shut up about how he was raised by the wolves (his house was situated near the woods in Putnam County, so seeing wolves was not an uncommon occurrence). He didn't mind being thought of that way. In fact, he quite enjoyed it. It made him memorable, so people wouldn't easily forget about him.
But these eccentric qualities got in the way at times, mostly because of how "old" he would act. The thing people would say to him most was that he needed to "grow up", and "start acting his age". He didn't understand what was so wrong about being a bit more carefree than other kids, or why he had to be in such a hurry to start acting like an adult. Physically he was 12, but mentally he was around 8 or 9, and he didn't see anything wrong with that.
But sometimes, when things got really bad, he'd start to feel a lot younger than that. It was usually when he found himself in really stressful situations. Things like loud noises, big crowds, and scary experiences sent him spiraling into overstimulation. He would feel like the world was rapidly growing all around him, everything towering over him like he was 5 inches tall. His fight or flight response would kick in, shutting down all reasoning and leaving him paralyzed. He would want to curl up into a ball, suck his thumb, and just wait it out until everything went away. It wouldn't normally get that bad, but sometimes it just happened, especially with things like arguing and scary movies. And thunderstorms. He hated thunderstorms.
Leaf had made a lot of new friends at the Putnam County spelling bee. He felt like he connected with all the kids he met there, but especially Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre. They were practically inseparable since the moment they met, and stayed the best of friends well after the bee. They would hang out almost every day, and you could say that Leaf was basically living at Logainne's, with how much he would sleep over at her house. It was a nice break from being around six siblings all the time, and Logainne's moms were always so nice and welcoming towards him.
It was a chilly April night. The sun had been blocked out by clouds the whole day, and a gentle rain had been steady for most of it. But as the night dragged on, the rain got heavier and the clouds got darker. Soon enough a loud crack could be heard throughout the neighborhood.
Leaf awoke with a start. His shaky breath could barely be heard over the howling wind outside. He bit his lip, frantically taking in his surroundings. He was in Logainne's room, in a sleeping bag, under 5 different layers of covers (he got cold very easily, and he needed something weighted on him to sleep).
Being in this familiar environment somewhat put him at ease, but his relief was replaced with fear as a bright flash of lightning, which lit up the whole room, was followed by another loud crack of thunder. He dove under the covers, shutting his eyes as tight as they could go. His body was shaking now, and the tears were getting choked up in his throat. It was happening again, he was getting smaller and smaller.
A third crack came, this one almost deafening. He couldn't help but release soft sobs, trying his hardest not to wake Logainne.
It didn't work, however, as the fourth wave of thunder came. It was the last straw, forcing Leaf to let it all out and sob quite loudly. This, consequently, woke Logainne from a very deep sleep.
"Wha- Leaf?" She mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, but quickly perked up once she realized he was crying.
"What's going on? Are you okay?!" She asked, concern prominent in her voice. She rushed to him, clambering off her bed and kneeling down to his sleeping bag.
"I-It's the thunder." She heard him murmur from under the covers.
"Oh, you're scared of the thunder, huh?" She repeated in an understanding tone. She gently gripped the covers and pulled them back, revealing a wide, teary eyed, thumb sucking Leaf. "Hey, it's okay, it's gonna be okay." She assured, softly stroking his back over the covers.
Another loud crash came from outside. Leaf squeaked, yanking the covers back over himself and burrowing further into his blanket pile.
"Leaf, hey, come on up to the bed with me, it's okay." Logainne suggested, not wanting him to be alone. A quiet "Mm-mm." came from the covers. She sighed, taking the hint. "Can I at least come under there and hold you?"
Leaf took a minute to think about it, but soon he let out a positive "Mhmm.", because frankly, he didn't want to be alone either.
Logainne smiled, gently lifting the covers and climbing underneath, immediately moving closer to be with Leaf. "Come here." She said, pulling him into a hug. Leaf fell into the embrace, gripping tight to her pajamas as if he was holding on for dear life.
"Ya know, there's a way to tell if a storm is getting closer or further away." Logainne said as she continued to stroke his back.
"Yeah?" He sniffed, starting to calm down a little. But he just got all riled up again as another loud crash was heard. More sobs came out, and he buried his face in the crook of Logainne's neck.
"Yeah." She continued, staying level headed. "You know how there's a flash of light before every clap of thunder?"
Leaf nodded his head. It seemed to get worse and worse at each loud clap, and now he could barely register his own thoughts. He just wanted it to be over.
"Well, if you count the seconds in between seeing the lightning and hearing the thunder, you can tell how close the storm is. If the seconds are getting longer, it's getting further away." She finished explaining, rocking Leaf back and forth gently. "We'll count on one-mississippi, two-mississippi, k?"
Leaf nodded his head reluctantly, dreading having to open his eyes.
"Here, let's watch for the flash." She suggested, peeling the covers back only so far to get a glimpse into the room. Soon enough the entire room lit up for a second, and Logainne pulled the covers back over them. "Okay, we're gonna count now." She stated, making sure to keep eye contact with Leaf. "One-mississippi, two-mississippi..."
"Three-mississippi, four-mississippi-" Leaf joined in, but was cut off as the loudest crash of thunder came yet. He shut his eyes and latched harder onto Logainne, who held him back as tight as she could.
"It's okay, you're doing great." She reassured. "Let's see if we can catch another flash, k?"
Leaf nodded, still shaking a bit. He and Logainne peeked over the covers again, and dove right back under them once the flash came.
"One-mississippi, two-mississippi, three-mississippi, four-mississippi, five-mississippi-" They chanted in unison, getting cut off one second later than before. "See? Four versus five, it's getting better, it's going away." She continued to trace circles on the small of Leaf's back.
He nodded along, drinking in the comfort Logainne's voice gave to him. He was still sucking his thumb, but he could no longer feel himself vibrating. Even as they witnessed another flash, just being in Logainne's company started to make him feel kind of alright.
It stayed like that for a while. A white hot flash would light up the room, they'd start to count the seconds, and a clap of thunder would interrupt them. Leaf would tense up every time, but Logainne always managed to ground him and bring him back to reality.
It seemed like forever, but after awhile the flashes stopped, along with the loud crashes. The rain was still pelting down, though much more gently than before.
"See, it's all gone now. It's over, we're okay." Logainne comforted, seeing Leaf's wide, glassy eyes through the darkness. Leaf nodded, relief suddenly washing over him. It was a warm, welcoming feeling.
"And yah know, I betcha it's all gonna clear up tomorrow and there's not gonna be a single cloud in the sky." She stated, trying to get him to smile.
"But I want there to be clouds in the sky." Leaf pouted, his speech becoming more slurred.
"Well then, there's probably gonna be one or two clouds that stayed behind, just for you." She booped his nose, grinning from ear to ear as she heard Leaf break out into a giggle. Even though it was pitch black, Leaf's smile seemed to light up the whole room.
He pulled her into another embrace. "Thank you, thank you so much Logainne." He sniffed, still stuffed up from the crying before.
"Of course!" She responded. "That's what best friends are for, right?"
He nodded. "I'm sorry I'm such a crybaby." He giggled sadly, almost putting his thumb back in his mouth, but stopping himself before he could do so. Logainne noticed this and gently grabbed his hand.
"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to apologize for that." She consoled. "Yah know, a lot of adults cry."
"Really?" He sniffed
"Yeah, all the time! One time Carla mom broke down in front of me because her work got her so stressed out."
Leaf thought about it for a moment. The idea of adults crying was certainly new to him, as neither his mom or his dad really showed him any emotions other than, well, disappointment as of late. He wasn't sure if this new information made him feel better or worse.
"Yah know, I bet the president cries." Logainne stated with a smirk on her face. "I bet he sits in his stupid chair in the stupid white house, and cries over how much of a big jerk-face he is!"
That made Leaf break out into laughter once again. She smiled, starting to laugh with him. His laugh was so contagious, it crept up on you and held you tight and never let you go.
He didn't necessarily understand all of Logainne's political antics, but seeing her being so passionate about something she cared about made him unbelievably happy.
"Logainne," He started, not exactly sure how to word it.
"Yeah, Leaf?"
"I feel, really small."
Logainne's brows furrowed. Something about that statement didn't seem to be clicking. "Small? Like, size-wise? In what context?"
"No, I just-" He hesitated. He'd never told anyone about this particular tick before, and he wasn't even sure what it was. How was he going to word this to someone who was like, 5 times his grade level?
"I feel, young." He finally stated, putting a finalizing emphasis on the last word that made him feel satisfied.
Logainne, however, was still a bit confused. "How young?" She asked hesitantly, picking up that this was a very sensitive subject for Leaf.
He thought for a bit, biting his lip. It was hard to pinpoint an exact age, but by how long the thunderstorm lasted, and how violent it was, he couldn't have been older than 3. He held up 3 fingers, hiding his face in the pillows.
"Oh. Oh, Leaf..." Logainne sighed. It wasn't an angry sigh, or disappointed sigh, it was a concerned sigh. She had no idea what this meant. "I-Is this a good, or a bad thing?" She asked, trying her best to be gentle about getting answers.
"I don't know, it happens when I get really scared." He explained. It's not exactly how he said it, since his speech was becoming more slurred, but that's how Logainne translated it in her head.
"Well, does it help you feel not so scared?" She asked. She didn't usually like talking down to him, mostly because she felt it was disrespectful and he was a lot smarter than a lot of people gave him credit for. But she suspected that she'd have to keep things simple for him now, at least in this context.
Leaf was unsure, but nodded his head anyway. "Helps it go away." He murmured. He moved to put his thumb back in his mouth again, out of habit, but stopped himself again.
Logainne sighed, gently taking his hand. "If it helps you feel better, then it helps you feel better. There's nothing wrong with that."
"But it's weird!" He protested, getting himself worked up again
"Leaf, all of us are weird! My two dads are weird. Olive's obsession with the dictionary is weird. Barfee's magic foot is weird. Marcy being crazy good at everything she does is weird. Chip's boner was DEFINITELY weird-"
Leaf broke into a fit of laughter at that. His whole aura was so warm, and happy, and kind. He'd walk in and the whole area would light up, leaving trails of comfort behind him. He was like a literal walking ray of sunshine. It hurt to see him hurting like this, which made the fact that she could make him laugh that much more special.
"But see? We're ALL a little weird, it's what makes us special. Can you even imagine what a world where no one was weird would be like? If we were all the same? Like, how boring would that be?" She finished, looking at him earnestly. "So, if being, younger, helps you feel better, then you should feel comfortable doing it."
"But, but my family always says to 'grow up', and start 'acting my age'. I don't even know what that means." He whined, starting to feel choked up again.
"Leaf, can I tell you something?"
"Yeah?"
"Your family kinda sucks." She stated, very matter-of-factly. "I mean, your siblings REALLY suck, but your parents kinda suck too."
"No they don't! They don't mean it! They just..." He trailed off, running out of excuses to give them. He didn't like to admit to himself how badly they really mistreated him. He wasn't sure if it was just because he was tired or not, but it was getting harder and harder to lie to himself. The tears started to fall again, and he buried his face back into the pillows.
"Hey, come on, I didn't mean to make you upset." Logainne sighed, starting to stroke his back again. She peeled back the covers to take a look at her alarm clock at the head of her bed. It read 11:42 pm. "Look, let's talk about this in the morning, okay? It's almost midnight, you need your rest."
Leaf sniffled, getting composure of himself. He nodded, finally allowing himself to put his thumb back in his mouth. His breathing became slower as his eyes fluttered closed.
Logainne smiled, melting at his cuteness. "Come on, let's get you off the floor." She said, gently shaking him before moving to get up. He gave her a negative "hmph" in response, pulling her back down to the floor with him.
"Come on, I don't want you sleeping on the floor! It's alright to come out now, the storm's over."
He didn't respond, hoping that if he ignored her she would drop it and sleep there with him. She sighed. "Can I at least carry you?"
"Can you?" he murmured, opening one eye.
"I can try." She pulled back the covers, put one arm around his back, and the other under his legs, and hoisted him up, carrying him to the bed and laying him down gently. She pulled the new covers over both of them, making sure Leaf was nice and warm and comfortable.
"You okay?" She checked in, able to get a clearer shot of his face. He seemed to be a lot calmer now, struggling to keep his eyes open and his breathing evening out. He nodded, his head sinking into the pillow.
She smiled. "Night Leaf."
"Ni' Logainne, love you." He murmured as he draped an arm over her, finally falling asleep with his thumb still in his mouth.
Logainne's heart melted. She moved forward and their foreheads touched. "Love you too." She whispered, before slowly drifting off to sleep herself.