Eight years later
"Miss Manoban, they don't need you in Thailand anymore tomorrow." Myomy, Lisa her assistant said as she checked all the recent notes she took.
"The stocks have also increased with one point zero-three percent in the last month. Don't forget that your project with Hong Kong's prime minister needs to be finished in three weeks.
Lisa sighed and nodded while trailing over the rim of her mug with her pointer finger. "Thank you Myomy..."
There was a silence for a second before she spoke up again. 'Anything else?"
"No Miss Manoban. Nothing else is planned for the afternoon." Her assistant said as she scanned the schedule just in case.
Lisa nodded and cleared her throat.
"Alright then. Let's call it quits for the day. Go spend some time with your husband Myomy. And tell little Yeyi that I miss her presence at the office." Myomy smilled and bowed gratefully.
"Thank you miss. You are always so kind. I will greet her for you."
Lisa hummed and send her a last small smile before pressing onto her small announcement pad. She had installed it when she took over the office on everyone their desk. It was in the corner of everyone their desk so they could read everything when Lisa wanted to tell them something. She also used it so she could tell them what to do or which new things were going on. She really loved that she as able to pull that off as if spared her a lot of work.
'Everyone is off for the rest of the day. Do something good for yourself this afternoon. The Hong Kong deadline is coming closer and I want everyone to be in their best state of mind. If something is bothering you I'm still in my office for ten minutes. Other wise enjoy. -Manoban'
She pressed send onto her message and quickly pulled up the security system. A big smile appeared on her face when she saw how her employees reacted to her message. A lot already started to pack their bags, huge smiles on their faces as they talked to each other. She continued to flick through the security footage before her attention got brought to soft knocking on the door. She clicked away from the cameras and announced that they could enter.
A young Indian girl stepped inside which she soon recognized as Nirka, one of her newer employees.
"Good afternoon Miss Manoban... I am very apologetic for... coming here." She sighed and Lisa hummed and gestured for the chair on the other side of her desk, indicating that she could take a seat.
"What brought you here Nirka?" She questioned nicely, making the nervous employee usher to the seat before quickly sitting down. She was really anxious and fiddled with her hands.
"I... I am having problems. My Korean is not good still. I try ma'am. I really try but the language is hard and I not have good enough skills to learn it fast." She tried to explain in her slightly off Korean.
Lisa seemed to analyze the problem but couldn't really figure it out yet.
"Okay... So? What can I do on that matter?"
"I don't know ma'am..." She nervously stated and glanced up for a second before biting her lip. "I don't want you to get rid of me. I am in desperate... I need this job. One of my co workers told that you will... You won't want me here anymore because I made some spelling mistakes. I am deeply sorry ma'am I am doing my best." She sadly said and her shoulder hung low.
Lisa smiled a bit and leaned over, grabbing the attention of the young woman. "It's okay Nirka. You am doing an amazing job. I didn't hire you so you could write every word perfectly. I hired you because I see potential in your skills. You are wonderful in what you do and your ability to not speak Korean fluently to that level won't make me fire you. Don't worry about it. Keep on learning. You are doing an amazing job. Now go home alright?"
Relieve washed over her employees face and nodded rapidly and got up before bowing a few times. "Thank you ma'am thank you. May Vishnu bless you. Thank you ma'am" She said before disappearing out of the room.
Lisa chuckled a bit and shook her head at the cuteness of the woman.
When she realized that probably everyone had left already she rose to her feet, grabbed her belongings and made her way to the elevator.
She couldn't wait to get home. She had missed her baby. She had been sick for a few months now and just wanted to hold her again. She knew that time with her was limited and wanted to spend every last minute together.
***
Lisa entered her mansion and quickly grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. She was thirsty and hungry, but the food could wait. She first had to go check up on her sick baby.
She walked upstairs, past her fathers empty bedroom, before going into her room. Her heart sunk when the woman saw the state that she was in.
"Lilly..." Lisa sadly whispered and quickly made her way to the cat laying on top of her bed. She gently stroked the cats fur making the animal lift her head a bit. The cat's eyes were tired and Lisa could just feel the pain radiating from them.
"You really are in pain... Aren't you Lilly?" She sighed and laid her head down next to the felines body. She saw how her cat was slowly breathing, trying to avoid it hurting too much.
"Would you like for mommy to bring you out of your suffering?" She whispered and gently scratched the cat's head. Lilly opened her eyes a bit and with a lot of effort bumped the woman's side with her paw. It was as if she was telling Lisa that she wanted that. Lisa held back her tears and nodded.
She continued laying there for a bit more before getting up. She needed to do this. She couldn't be selfish anymore.
But Lilly was the last one that she had left with her.
Why did everyone and everything leave her?
With a lot of care and effort she put her cat into the carrying box. She was sure to put in her favorite blanket and toy, just so she wouldn't be too stressed out during the drive.
It was a good half hour ride, and she did it all in silence. Her thoughts were racing and she didn't know how to feel anymore.
As she arrived at the veterinarian's office. She put on her sunglasses and carefully picked up her cat's box, before making her way inside. She turned a lot of heads while walking in.
Practically everyone knew who she was. Her black heels, grey suite and pitch black straightened hair made her even more recognizable. You didn't see a woman dressed like that every day.
She walked up to the desk and after the receptionist and Lisa shared a few words she led Lisa to another room.
"You can sit there ma'am. Our newest vet will be there with you soon."
Lisa nodded and thanked her before taking a seat and put up her sunglasses. She took off the top lid so she could pet her sick cat. Her heart ached at the feeling. In less than an hour the last thing she had close to her heart would get taken away from her. She didn't know how to cope. She kept on a brave face and whispered loving words to the cat.
She looked up when the door opened and a woman completely covered in a blue gown, scrubs onto her feet, gloves onto her hands, a mask in front of her face and a cap on her head, walked in. Lisa released a breath as the woman reached out her hand.
"Nice to meet you Ma'am. If you'd be so kind to follow me." She spoke. Lisa shook it and nodded, a bit taken back by the voice. It sounded really pleasant to her ears.
She followed her into another room with her cat and put it onto the floor before reaching in it and gently picked her up.
"You can place her on the table there ma'am..." The vet spoke. Lisa landed one last kiss onto the pet's head before carefully putting her down on the soft ad cozy blanket.
"So her name is... Lilly and you are coming to euthanize her?" She said, her voice wavering a bit at the cat's name. Lisa quickly blinked, trying to keep in her tears and nodded.
"Then please sign these forms Miss..." She said and handed her a clipboard. Lisa quickly put her autographs beneath every one of them before handing them back.
"You came here alone?" The vet asked as she started to prepare her medicine. Lisa gently stroked her cat's head and let out a strangled "yes."
"Most people come with someone to support them... This can be a really tough thing to handle on your own."
Lisa felt a tear roll down her cheek and wiped it away as fast as possible.
"I... I know... But I am used to handling things on my own." She said and straightened her back a bit. She couldn't let her emotions take control of her. Not now.
She could break down later.
When Lilly's eyes met hers, however, she suddenly started to cry.
"Are you sure that it is her?" The owner of the animal shelter questioned. "You know that we have way better kittens than this grey one right? No one really want's her. And what would teenagers as rich as you want with this half bred cat?"
Lisa furrowed her eyebrows and Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. "Yes we are sure. We want this cat. Who cares if she doesn't have a specific breed? A cat is a cat. We want a cat and we will adopt this cat. Thank you very much sir."
The owner held up his hands and shrugged. "Alright. Whatever you want girls."
Soon the papers were signed and the two girls walked outside with their new cat.
"Can we call her Lilly like you suggested?" Lisa asked in the car making Rosé hum. "Of course Lis. I love that name. Now we are the perfect little family. Aren't we? 18, attending college, our own apartment, filled with the two of us and this small and cute fluff ball."
Lisa grinned and hummed as she they drove home.
Home. She had a home filled with love.
She couldn't be happier.
"I... I don't think I can do this. But I have to." She sniffled and tried to suck in her tears.
"I love you Lilly..." She whispered and took a few deep breaths. "I hope that you felt that in the past years. I love you so much... I will miss you baby... Mommy will miss you..." Lisa sniffled and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands. "If there is such a thing as cat heaven, please enjoy it there. Take care of my heart when you take it with you please. I love you..." She sniffled and nodded for the doctor that she was ready.
With a blurred vision she saw how her cat got injected by the medicine. She saw that the vet's hand was a bit shaking, but blamed it on the tears.
Her cat released one last soft meow before she saw how the breathing stopped.
She let her tears flow freely and sat down on a bench in the corner. She took a big plushy, that she realized was probably for the owners if they needed something to cling onto, and hugged it tightly against herself.
This was probably one of the hardest things she had done in her life.
"Would you like to talk about her? Sometimes that helps a bit..."
Lisa nodded and started to speak with a shaky voice.
"I... This cat... Lilly... She was from me and my ex girlfriend..." Lisa clung tighter onto the stuffed animal.
"I loved her so much... We both loved each other a lot... But... I had too may personal issues. She couldn't deal with them... We ended up splitting up... She left Lilly with me as she moved to Australia to become a gynecologist... She... She told me that she would love me and continue to love me through Lilly." Lisa chocked back a sob and looked as the doctor started to preserve the dead cat's body.
"She told me that if we were meant to be we would find our way back to each other... And that her love would last as long as Lilly staid alive. She said that if fate didn't bring us together again before Lilly died that we weren't meant to be and that her love for me had died too..."
Lisa tried to control her breathing and her knuckles turned white as she was gripping the stuffed toy tightly.
"I always hoped... I loved her so much... I love her so much. I still love her so much but I guess that we weren't meant to be. I just... I miss her so much..."
Lisa shook her head and sighed. "I'm sorry for-"
"It is no problem. I will be busy for a while so feel free to continue talking. Whatever will make you feel better Miss Manoban." The vet spoke up gently.
Lisa nodded and let out a slight and saddened laugh. "I love her so much you know. She was with me through so much... And I tried to be there for her too, but I wasn't enough. Not because of her standards. I just... She deserved better than me. And if she is with someone better than me I will he happy. All I want is for her to be happy. I just... I wish I could see her again... We cut off contact and I never heard from her again. I know that she is doing good. But that's all..."
She paused for a second before continuing. "It's difficult to know that your mutual friends still talk but they don't disclose any information to you. We were this friend group in highschool..." Lisa smiled sadly at the thought. "Actually there were five of us... But one moved to the Philippines, and one moved to Busan with her husband..."
Lisa thought of the day that she had to say goodbye to Luna and her god daughter, Elkie, as they were getting called to board the plane. It had been a heartbreaking moment and Lisa missed them a lot. Her busy schedule only having allowed her to visit them, for more than a day, twice in the past three years.
"My cat was the only thing... Only she cared about me anymore. From the people that were nearby. And now... Now I have no one anymore." Lisa sighed and closed her eyes as she leaned back a bit.
"How do people cope with losing their pet?" Lisa questioned the vet.
"They all cope differently. A lot will bury them in their garden... They usually get strength from each other. Going through a loss alone is quite difficult. Especially if the pet was really close to your heart..." She spoke up. "Don't you have anyone to go to and deal with the loss?"
Lisa shook her head. "No... I do... I do have one friend... But she is so busy and we had a fight a while back... We haven't been on great therms recently."
"My apologies Miss..." The vet said before she finished prepping Lilly. "Would you like to bring her with you to bury her? In your back yard? Maybe it will do you a bit better..."
Lisa nodded and got up. She felt a bit unsteady and excused herself to the restroom.
She washed her face to remove her smeared eyeliner and mascara, and leaned over the sink for a while.
She hadn't eaten since breakfast but this loss didn't make her any bit hungry. It only made her feel sick to her stomach.
How was she supposed to deal with all of this?
***
It was five in the morning and Lisa sat at her big kitchen table. She stared at her coffee as her phone laid on the counter. It was completely silent around her. It felt even more empty now. Since her father had died from a second and fatal stroke, a little over two years ago, she lived alone in the the massive mansion with her cat. It was lonely but the soft purring and cuddles of Lilly made everything a bit more bearable.
Only now that she was gone too, the real emptiness and loneliness of the massive place really caught onto her.
What is having all of this when there is no one you love to share it with?
An alert on her phone caught her attention. Apparently a package had arrived at her doorstep. She furrowed her eyebrows as it was really early but went to pick it up. It was a large taped up box and a bag that felt soft by touch.
She placed the items on the table and took a sip of her coffee before starting on the bag. Her eyes widened when she saw the stuffed animal from the vet's place. A note was attached to it saying 'She will be there for you. Her name is Anne. I hope that you feel better soon Miss Manoban. - Dr P.'
Her heart swells and tears started to build up again. This gesture hit her harder than expected. She felt as if someone cared about her and she didn't have to go through it alone.
She peeled off the tape off the box and let out a surprised laugh. It was filled with chocolates, cookies and a few of her favorite snacks.
"What kind of madness is this..." She chuckled and shook her head full of shock.
"What the fuck man..."
She reached in the box and took out a pack of cookies before opening it and eating one. The taste made her smile and she quickly munched the whole box down.
She felt better and suddenly not everything seemed as somber as before.
This small act made her feel like there was hope. She didn't know why the vet had done this for her. But she sure was an angel. She decided on stopping by when she had time.
Which ended up being never. She just gave her assistant the task to send a short email to the vet to thank her.
***
Lisa waited nervously in her office for the email. She had to receive one telling her if the massive project they had been working on for months with Hong Kong's prime minister was a success. Her fingers were crossed as she was pacing around. A pling was heard, notifying her of a new email. She ran as fast as her heels could carry her to her laptop and clicked onto it.
She let out a scream when she saw that it had been approved and was perfect.
Quickly she typed in the announcement tab.
'WE DID IT!!! GO CELEBRATE AT HOME! -Manoban'
She quickly pressed send and let herself completely fall back against her chair.
She picked up her phone and saw that Jennie had texted her half an hour ago.
'Hey Lisa... I'm really sorry for this. Please just do it I will explain afterwards I promise. But a friend of mine had been begging me to go out on a blind date with you... and I said yes. I didn't want to disappoint her. It's tonight at seven at Jyoti. Just say yes.'
Lisa furrowed her eyebrows. They hadn't talked for months and suddenly she texts her this. She picked up her phone and quickly pressed call. Jennie picked up after a few rings.
"Lisa I-"
"We haven't spoken for months Jennie what the fuck? Why would you do this? We aren't even on good therms yet." She grumbled annoyed.
"I know Lisa... I'm sorry... You can come to my place afterwards alright. We'll talk it out. Just please go..."
The younger woman sighed and clenched her fist. "Fine Jennie. But don't you dare to do this again."
"Thank you Lisa. It means a lot." Jennie replied.
"Sure." She mumbled and hung up.
There goes her evening of doing nothing.
***
Lisa smoothed out her dress and stepped out of the car. Her purse was in her hand she send one last nod to her driver before walking inside. She sighed. She wasn't in the mood for this date at all.
She didn't even know if it was going to be a man or woman, but judging by the name that she was supposed to give up, it was a woman.
"Anne? Right this way." The waiter smiled politely and brought her to a secluded era. The table was nicely put with candles and all on it. The waiter excused himself, leaving Lisa alone in the room.
She glanced at her watch and realized that her date was probably late. When she saw down at the table, she noticed a small box with her name on it. She opened it and a blindfold and short note fell out.
"Please put this on. I promise nothing bad will happen. Just put it on. Please. And don't take it off until I tell you to."
Lisa glanced around the room and let out a slightly groan and sighed deeply. This was one of the strangest requests she ever got and she felt this whole blind date working on her nerves already. She wanted to be home. Why couldn't the person just hurry up so that she could get it over with. She put on the blindfold and crossed her arms. Waiting in silence.
Suddenly she heard soft strumming and her ears perked up.
Was someone playing the guitar in this room?
Chills went down her spine when she heard the first few words of the song.
"Day breaks and when I turn
You're not on my pillow"
The voice of the person sounded raw, it sounded full of emotions, and it sounded weirdly familiar. But she couldn't wrap her finger around it at all.
"My head shakes and then the penny drops
Still your t-shirt on my chair
Pencilled hearts on paper
I try not to think but I can't stop"
Suddenly Lisa her breath hitched. She wasn't...
"And doubt sets in like a storm
I could feel it coming
And words echo out yesterday"
Oh my god.
"Time pushed me to the edge
The jump was my decision
I've only got myself to blame"
Lisa felt her throat go dry and the desire to rip off her blindfold was close, but she refrained. Mostly because she was frozen in her place. Was she tripping?
"'Cause I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay"
Lisa crossed her fingers. She had to be imagining this. No way that this was her. It had to be someone else... But no one would sing a song like this for someone on their first date. No one could sound like her.
"And I have no right to need you
When I knew what my heart was gonna lose"
The voice wavered a bit and the strumming slowed down a bit.
"I have no right to love you
But I do, I still do
Yeah, I still do..."
It went dead silent. Lisa was frozen in her place. She didn't move a single muscle.
'Please let this be a dream' she thought.
She heard some shuffling and suddenly felt a presence close to her. Her breath hitched when their fingers came into contact with her exposed shoulders. It felt as if a slight electric shock went through her body.
She felt the person fiddle with the blindfold before they took it off of her. Lisa opened her eyes but stared right in front of her. Not daring to look back.
She didn't know if she wanted this to be real or it be another girl. She didn't know which one would be worse.
The moment their eyes locked Lisa her entire world froze. Time stood still. Her heart slowed down. Her brain got blank. Her eyes held some sort of magic power and Lisa got caught by it immediately.
"Chaeyoung?" Lisa whispered out in shock. The older woman smiled a bit and took a seat across from Lisa.
"Yes that's me... Nice to meet you." She smiled and held out her hand. Lisa was confused but accepted the woman's hand and shook it. Shivers went down her spine, and by the slight spasm that Rosé showed she felt it too.
"Uh... I guess, um, nice to meet you too?"
"Thank you so much for accepting to go on this blind date with me... My friend Jennie told me about you and I got interested."
Lisa opened her mouth to say something, but when she looked into her ex-girlfriends eyes she saw a certain plea, and decided to go against it. They hadn't spoken for years but it seemed as if Lisa could still read the woman's emotions. She was slightly tense and nervous. Still being taken by shock she just nodded and muttered a "That's great..."
There was a slight tense silence for a while. Chaeyoung nervously fiddled with her fingers and hung her head low. This was a stupid idea. Why did she ever think that this would be a smart thing to do?
"So, uh, what made you want to go on a blind date for? Why not just... Use a dating app?" Lisa asked. Rosé bit back a smile and looked up, gazing into Lisa's eyes for a split second before replying. "It seemed more mysterious and cool..."
"Oh so you like mysterious and cool?" Lisa smiled a bit. Rosé nodded and smiled back. Her heart made a big leap. She had been able to convince herself that she had moved on from Lisa and wanted to have this date to prove it to herself, but that all had flown out of the window right away. She was still head over heels with the woman in front of her. The way the she played along, while they hadn't seen each other for years, and their relationship didn't end that well, was heart warming.
"I do... I recently have been into this new series that launched recently... It's called the Witcher... Did you see it?" Chaeyoung questioned making Lisa her eyes widen and she nodded rapidly.
"I did! I watched all the episodes already. I love it so much!" She grinned.
Rosé her heart fluttered. God Lisa was going to be her death.
***
"So what kind of work do you do?" Lisa smiled at the woman. She was curious to know what she had been up to. The older woman send her a small smile and twirled some spaghetti around on her fork.
"I'm a vet."
Lisa hummed and locked eyes with the woman before her brain started to piece the puzzle together in record speed. But she didn't want to end whatever roleplay they had going on so she kept silent.
"I wanted to become a doctor... But after I moved to Australia I left the two things that I loved most behind. And by becoming a vet I had the feeling that I could at least be more connected to one of the things that I left behind..."
Lisa swallowed before nodding and staid silent.
"So... What about you Lisa? What kind of work do you do?"
Lisa told her about running her fathers business and what it all consists out of.
"So basically I go to all meetings, travel a lot, just... I make sure that the companies keep afloat and doing what they are supposed to do.
"Isn't that tiring?" Chaeyoung asked worried. Lisa hummed and nodded "It is... It can be really exhausting. They are spread over a few countries which makes running it even harder. But that is alright by me. It keeps me busy. It distracts me from feeling lonely or sad."
The older woman her heart clenched and she nodded. "I understand that..."
As the end of dinner rolled around Chaeyoung paid for the meals and they walked outside in silence.
"So..." Rosé started and played with a ring that was around her finger, "I really enjoyed this date..."
Lisa nodded and bit her bottom lip. Rosé saw the internal struggle the woman was having and felt her hope levels drop. She realized that what she had done was really risky. She knew how Lisa was a very closed off person. She never liked to talk about her feelings. Lisa opening up to you was something to feel honored for.
And she had done it. In the past. But that was before their breakup. The second they split up Lisa avoided voicing her feelings in any way. Before Chae moved to Australia around two months later, she had tried to get the girl to open up to her, but she refused to do so. Even though they still lived in the same apartment it was as if Rosé was living with a ghost. She tried to be there for a friend as Lisa, but she realized that the younger girl had shut her out completely.
Even though it was a mutual break up, insinuated by Chaeyoung, Lisa had turned cold. And it was difficult for Chaeyoung to see her like that. The younger girl started to be less at their apartment and went back home to stay there more often. There were days where she'd get back with bruises scattering her body, and it didn't matter how much Rosé tried for Lisa to stay or to open up, she refused.
When Chaeyoung left Lisa moved back in with her father, seeing no reason as to stay on her own in the place that reminded her of her ex girlfriend.
Lisa glanced at Chaeyoung and released a breath. "I did too."
"So... How are you going home?" Chaeyoung asked her date. Lisa smiled a bit and fished her phone out of her pocket. "I need to message my driver that he can pick me up... What about you?"
Rosé chuckled and pulled out her car keys. "I'm my own driver..." she hesitated for a second before tilting her head slightly "I can drop you off if you won't mind... I mean it will take some time for your driver to get here... right?"
Lisa bit back a smile and nodded. "I suppose that you're correct... I... Alright."
Chaeyoung did a small victory dance in her head and led Lisa to her car. They slid inside and Rosé started the engine before driving off. Lisa send a quick text to her driver telling him that he could go home and rest before she put her phone down onto her lap.
"You still live at your dad's?" Chaeyoung asked making Lisa nod a bit.
"Yeah... But since he passed it's mine I guess."
Chaeyoung hummed and chewed on her bottom lip. Thousand of questions were running around in her head and she wanted to ask them all. But she was scared that she would make Lisa close off completely. She had no privilege to ask about anything that had happened to Lisa in the past five and a half years. But she strongly wanted to.
"How long have you been back?" Lisa asked as she stared outside, the trees passing by at high speed.
"A little over five months..." Rosé answered and tapped her nails against her steering wheel, waiting for the light to turn green.
"Why did you come back again? I thought you wanted to stay in Melbourne..." Lisa questioned and Chaeyoung shrugged and pressed onto her gas pedal, "Not sure. I loved it there... I always will, but it felt... Lonely there. I don't know how to explain it. It didn't feel like I could settle down there and call it my home for the rest of my life. It just didn't feel right."
Lisa nodded and handed Chaeyoung her key card, so she could slide it through the security system that was installed at the entrance of the gated community.
"So where are you staying now?" Lisa asked the woman making Chaeyoung chuckle, "I am staying with my parents... I know... A twenty six year old living with her parents again"
Lisa smiled and they drove onto the path that was leading up to the big mansion. "That's cute I guess. You should have missed them while being away."
Chaeyoung nodded and stopped her car. "So, you're home safe" She smiled. Lisa hummed and thanked the woman before getting out. She hesitated for a second before inviting the woman inside for a drink, which she gladly accepted.
"Wow you really changed up the place..." Rosé said in amazement as she admired everything. Lisa hummed and grabbed two wine glasses before pulling out a bottle and led the woman to the living room where she placed the items on the glass table that was surrounded by couches.
"After my father died I wanted to re do everything. I wanted to make the place onto my own. I tried to give it a more homey feel..." Lisa poured in some wine into both of their glasses and handed one to her ex, who gladly accepted it.
"I'm still sorry about your dad... Even though he was... Um..." Rosé stammered making a small smile graze Lisa's lip.
"Abusive? It's alright... I mean he was my appa you know, I felt horrible when he passed... I cried but it was alright. After you left I moved back in with him. I mean he still hit me and... And he let some of his colleagues have their way with me and all... But when I was twenty two he got a stroke and became paralyzed from the waist down. I just finished my degree and took over the company immediately. But anyways, after he got paralyzed from the waist down something changed in him and he... Well, let's just say, he started to treat me okay again. We got along I guess. I put it behind me... I realized that holding a grudge wouldn't make me happier so I forgave him." Lisa explained.
Chaeyoung was taken back by Lisa's calmness and willingness to talk about the topic so openly. Did Lisa still feel comfortable enough to share everything with her?
But that would be impossible... They hadn't been in contact for over a sold six years. Yet here was Lisa opening up to her as if they hadn't parted ways at all.
Lisa sipped her wine and looked as she saw how Rosé was taking in everything.
"I went to therapy for a few years."
The older woman looked up with surprise and raised her eyebrows.
"I realized that what you had said was right... I needed to go talk about it. And it helped me. A lot. I just wish..." Lisa sighed and a sad smile appeared on her lips as she stared at the bit of wine left in her glass.
"You just wish what Lisa?"
"I just wished that I had listened to you when we were together... That could have saved our relationship. It would have saved you from the misery I put you through. If I only had gone like you suggested..." Lisa chuckled bitterly and shook her head before downing the rest of the wine and poured more for herself.
Rosé sighed as she thought back to the endless fights and arguments they started to have.
"You can't just fucking do that!" Chaeyoung yelled with tears in her eyes and shoved Lisa to the side before she rushed towards their bathroom and locked the door. Lisa quickly followed and knocked on the door. "Rosie please let me in... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." Lisa sniffled and felt tears streaming down her face.
Inside the bathroom Chaeyoung was examining her cheek and noticed that the hand print was clearly visible. She hung her head low and let her tears fall freely. She knew that Lisa was hurting but that was no excuse. And Rosé knew that.
"You were in a bad mental place... Accepting help isn't always easy" Chaeyoung sighed and finished her wine.
"But still... I was such a dumb teenager. You were so smart. I'm honestly glad that we broke up." Lisa voiced and looked at Chaeyoung.
"I loved you a lot... More than anything, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Rosé... I did. But... I-I wasn't good for you. I had to deal with myself first and figure myself out first. And you loved me so much that you let me get away with it at first... I don't want to know how we would have ended up..." Lisa shook her head and had a painful look in her eyes.
"You want to know how I feel, don't you Chaeyoung?!" Lisa yelled as she stared at her girlfriend in pure anger.
"No I never said that Lisa! I'm just saying that you should try! You aren't even trying!" The older girl shouted back, also in pure rage.
"Shut the fuck up! I am trying!" Lisa yelled back and narrowed her eyes at the girl.
"You aren't Lisa! You haven't been trying! You never went to those sessions!"
"Because I couldn't fucking go! You don't know how hard this is for me!" Lisa screamed and wiped angry tears away.
"Bullshit Lisa! You just-" She let out a yelp and buckled over, clutching her stomach painfully as she started to feel the need to throw up from the pain. Before she could fully recover she fell to the floor as Lisa had punched her again, this time in the face, hard.
"Now you fucking know you bitch! Now you fucking know! Now you go tell people about this! I hope you feel what I feel when my father hit me! I bet that you won't want to talk about this to anyone!" Lisa yelled and had to keep herself from kicking the girl before storming off.
She was angry and mad. She had no clue what gotten over her but she tried not to question it too much. In the back of her mind she knew that she had just crossed a horrible line and there was no turning back. But her head screamed at her that her girlfriend had deserved it. She had asked for it. Right?
"I still feel bad for everything I did to you when all you did was try to be there for me you know... I was a terrible girlfriend to be honest." Lisa whispered the last part and stared in the distance before sighing and getting up.
"Are you in the mood for some balcony?" She questioned making Rosé smile and nod, "Sure Lisa...".
Soon enough they were making their way up to the top floor and walked out, the cool late summer breeze was flowing throughout their hair.
Chaeyoung sucked in a breath at how beautiful the view looked and walked closer to the edge.
"I won't ever get tired of this view... Seoul in the distance... And all the beautiful stars in the sky..."
Lisa smiled a bit and hummed before hanging over the railing and looking down. A short silence was there before Lisa spoke up.
"It was you who put Lilly to sleep... wasn't it?"
Rosé nodded and sat down on a bench that Lisa had installed. "Yes I did... When the assistant told me your name I was taken back for a second... I wasn't... I hadn't imagined seeing you this soon you know?"
Lisa walked over to the bench and sat down across from her ex.
"You planned on seeing me?"
Chaeyoung nodded again and moved some hair, that was being blown by the wind in her face, behind her ear. "Yeah... I just didn't know the right time. Jennie refused to talk about you to me just like she refused to talk about me to you. So I had no clue how you were really doing... I didn't randomly want to walk back into your life when you were happy and bring back all those... memories."
She took a deep breath and sighed. "All those years in Melbourne... I missed you so much Lisa... and I prayed and hoped for some way that we would end up back together, but time passed by and I lost hope. I even thought that I was finally over you. That I had moved on but when I saw you in person I just... My heart. It doesn't lie. And it jumped. As if it had been revived after years... I- I don't know how to explain Lisa..."
The younger woman nodded and swallowed slightly.
"So you still... You still have feelings for me? After everything I did? After all these years?" Lisa questioned, making Chaeyoung bite her lip and slight nod. "I think so... I mean... I don't know if am still in love with you, but I know that... I care about you more than I expected myself to care about you..."
Both woman looked at the full moon that was in the sky, illuminating the sky. It looked magical. There were little to no clouds in the sky so the moon and stars were on full display.
"I sometimes came here... Staring at the moon at night. It made my heart ache a little less when I knew that you were at least underneath the same moon as me. And deep in my heart I wished you'd stare at it too..." Lisa admited and looked back at her ex.
Her pale skin was reflecting the light in an angelic way. Lisa felt her heart beating faster.
"You look... beautiful." Lisa whispered after a while, a sad smile spreading across her face. Life did you good Chaeyoung."
The older woman felt a slight blush creep onto her skin and bit her lip. "Thank you Lisa... You yourself look good too... Even though I saw you a lot."
Lisa raised her eyebrows a bit. "You did?"
Rosé chuckled and send her a look that screamed 'really girl...'.
"You forget that you are one of the richest women in the world? Your face was on so many news sites though out the years and you appeared on television a lot. Still do."
Lisa nibbled on her bottom lip. "Fuck... I didn't think about that... That must have been horrible for you." She furrowed her eyebrows in realization and hung her head low.
"You couldn't even escape the face of your ex... You couldn't escape the face of your abuser..." She sniffled and bit back her tears. She looked up and her eyes glistered in the moonlight, indicating that she was close to tears. "I'm sorry... I never realized that..."
Chaeyoung noticed how close the woman was to tears and her heart ached. When she saw her cry after all those years, the day that she had to put Lilly, their cat, down, had been enough already. She had to keep herself this close from crying and the moment the younger woman had left the room she broke down crying.
She wanted to hold Lisa in her arms again.
And now she saw her chance.
She carefully slipped off the bench and moved to sit besides Lisa. Lisa eyed her with curious eyes. When she saw that the older woman was holding her arms a bit spread and looked at her hopefully, she realized what the woman wanted.
When Chaeyoung saw the hesitation in Lisa's features she made grabby motions with her hands and tilted her head a bit to the side, indicating that it was alright.
Lisa slowly moved to the the woman before allowing herself to get pulled closer. The second she felt the woman's arms around her, felt her heat, smelled her smell, she realized that she hadn't felt such comfort in over six years.
As she had learned at therapy, it wasn't good to hold in emotions too long, and when it wasn't needed, so she let her tears freely flow. She whimpered and let out heart broken mewls, her tears wetting the older woman's dress. Rosé felt a piece wash over her that she hadn't felt in such a long time that she almost forgot what it felt like. She herself let loose of her tears, her mind getting overwhelmed by everything.
"It's okay Lisa. I have forgiven you a long time ago..." Chaeyoung whispered.
They stayed like that for a while, both softly crying and holding onto each other.
They hadn't imagined anything going like this.
Suddenly Chaeyoung got pushed away. Her stomach dropped. Was Lisa going to shut her out again? Everything was too good to be true up until now. Everything had gone too smoothly. Now it was going to end.
She gasped when the younger woman's legs suddenly swung over her and placed both knees next to her hips. Her dress rid up revealing a black string. Before she could really take in everything lips were pressed against her.
Chaeyoung was quick to kiss back and moved her hands over her ex's sides.
She surely had to be dreaming.
After a heated make out session Lisa got up, her eyes were dark and her breathing was unsteady.
"Bedroom?" She whispered a bit unsure, she didn't know how far the woman wanted to go and how far she wanted to go. She realized that she didn't want to think too much and just go with the flow. Analyzing the situation could be left for tomorrow.
Chaeyoung got up and nodded, still breathless. Lisa grabbed the woman's hand and pulled her with her.
Both felt like teenagers again. They couldn't wait to ravish each other. They hadn't touched each other for a long time and their desperation was noticeable.
Inside Lisa's room she quickly stripped out of her dress and string, revealing that she had been bra-less the whole evening.
Chaeyoung licked her lips before taking off her own dress and bra, pushed the woman down on the bed, and kissed her harshly. Lisa groaned into the kiss as she felt the wetness of the older woman grinding on her thigh.
"Ruined your panties... Such a dirty whore..." Lisa mumbled making Chaeyoung release a strangled moan and bucked her hips against the woman. Those words had shot a wave of arousal right to her center.
Lisa smirked as she saw the effect it had on her ex and sat up, starting to place kisses around the woman's nipples and helped her grind onto her thigh.
"After all these years it still turns you on? Getting called a whore?" Lisa whispered. The older woman nodded and pushed herself off, quickly removing her panties, before getting back to grinding onto Lisa.
"Fuck... Lisa..." She whimpered and gripped the younger woman's hair in between her fingers before pulling her towards her right nipple. Lisa got the message and quickly wrapped her lips around the bud, sucking harshly, making the woman release soft cries of pleasure.
Lisa cupped the other breast in her hand and softly kneaded it.
"Fuck they've gotten bigger..." She mumbled and switched breast. Chaeyoung released a loud moan when Lisa landed a smack on her behind before she practically threw her onto the bed.
Lisa hovered over her before kissing the woman for a while.
"Your lips... They are still so perfect." Lisa whispered before she started to move down. Chaeyoung, however, stopped her and pulled her up by her hair again.
"Sixty-nine, please..."
Lisa chuckled and turned around, positioning her dripping center on her ex's face and lowered herself. She bend over and started to ravish the woman's pussy immediately. Chaeyoung harshly pulled Lisa down all the way and started to eat her out with the same speed.
Their almost identical heights made it work perfectly.
When Lisa sped up, so did Chaeyoung. If Chaeyoung let out moans in her ex's pussy, so did Lisa. They were in perfect sync with each other. Something they hadn't felt with any other person they had slept with in the mean time.
Soon enough Lisa grew closed and started to grind her face down harder onto the older woman's face. Rosé wrapped her legs around Lisa's neck and pulled her closer. She herself was close too and her orgasm started to creep onto her.
When Lisa plunged in two of her long fingers, Chaeyoung her orgasm came crashing over her. Because of the amount she was moaning and mewling, all the vibrations went to Lisa's clit who came soon after her ex.
Lisa rolled of the older woman, panting and coming down from her orgasm while Rosé already laid half asleep on the bed.
It had been a long day for the both of them so another round was out of the question.
Soon enough Lisa re-positioned herself and pulled the covers over her and Chaeyoung who was half asleep already. She admired the naked woman's side profile for a while. She had grown even more beautiful than Lisa could remember.
More beautiful than she deserved.
***
Rosé groaned and pulled the blankets higher over herself, covering her face. Why the fuck was there light illuminating the room. She had put dark and heavy curtains for a reason. So that she wouldn't get woken up by the sun when she wanted to sleep in. It was her free day after all.
"Fucking bullshit." She muttered and started to plan on how to sue the company for portraying false information. They promised that they wouldn't move when exposed to wind. Her mother must have left her window open the previous night.
What did she even do the previous night that her mother had to come up into her room?
Wait a minute.
She pealed the blankets from her eyes and peaked over them, her eyes squinting as the sun was blinding her. She could make out a big and fancy ceiling lamp. She didn't remember having one. She rubbed her eyes and sat up before opening her eyes again.
Brown sheets, blue carpet, big glass window on her left side, naked breasts beneath her.
Her eyes widened when she realized that she was naked. Suddenly everything came rushing back.
Date, wine, crying, sex.
Holy fuck. It hadn't been an amazing dream.
She really did sleep with her ex.
She threw the covers off of her and jumped up before starting to squeal and jumped up and down.
"I can't believe it!" She squealed and did a few fist punch into the air.
This could mean that there was still hope for her dream.
Lisa hadn't shut her out. She had let her in.
Maybe there could still blossom something between the two of them. It didn't matter if it was only friends or something way better.
All that mattered was that Lisa still wasn't done with her. She was sure of that.
Unless... She was.
Chaeyoung felt her energy slowly disappear as that thought popped into her mind. Maybe Lisa realized how big of a mistake she made.
Was that the reason that she didn't wake her up? To avoid awkwardness?
She swallowed when she saw a folded paper laying on the night stand, sticking out from underneath a lamp.
'Chaeyoung' was written onto it.
She sat down and slowly opened the note.
'I hope that you had a great night rest. You were sleeping really peaceful and I didn't want to wake you up. I put out clothes for you. Shower is still in the same place. I put breakfast for you in a warming tray on the kitchen table... I don't know what else to say.
I don't know what we are and what we will be. I don't know. I don't think I will know for a while. I don't know what you want. But I am happy that you're in my life again. I still can't believe it.
I am at work so feel free to let yourself out whenever you want.
Greetings. Lisa.'
Rosé her lips curled up into a big smile and she let herself fall back onto her bed.
It had moved fast. Way faster than she expected. But she wasn't complaining at all. Knowing that Lisa wanted her in her life the same way she wanted that too was enough to make her entire year.
She took a shower and put on the clothes that Lisa had put out for her, before making her way down. She examined everything that Lisa had re-decorated. There were more pictures and paintings on the wall. The whole interior got changed. There were a lot more windows and everything felt even more spacious. It was beautiful.
As written, there was breakfast for her on the table. She dug in and decided to open up her messages. She needed to update both Jennie and Jisoo on the news.
***
Lisa was chewing on the back of her pen. There seemed to be something wrong with the company it's branch located in Germany yet she couldn't figure out what it was.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Myomy, her assistant entered the room while holding a paper bag in her hand and a cup of coffee.
Lisa raised her eyebrows. "You brought me lunch?"
Her assistant chuckled and shook her head. I only had to deliver this. I hope you enjoy it.
Lisa hummed and thanked the woman before inspecting the bag. There was a note attached to it by tape, so she peeled it off carefully.
'Hey Lisa
I hope that everything is going alright at work. Thank you for being so considerate. The breakfast was delicious.
When I looked into your fridge I couldn't contain myself and made you a sandwich. I know. Pretty basic. But I still hope that you enjoy it. It reminded me of our highschool and good college days. When I made you lunch... I hope I am not overstepping a boundary. And I hope that you don't hate it when I do this, like you told me that one time that you hated it that I made your sandwiches and brought them to your class when I was free.
That's why I dropped them off at your assistant... Um okay. I don't want to bring back bad memories I'm sorry I'm just writing and it came out.
But...
I also don't know what will be next. I have no clue. But I'm glad to know that you feel the same way as I do.
I'm going to end this short note here.
I hope you enjoy.
-Chaeyoung
ps my phone number is at the other side of the note.'
Lisa grinned and quickly started to eat the sandwich. She had missed Rose's sandwiches a lot. They were the best. She didn't understand why almost twenty year old her had gone off to Chaeyoung about the sandwiches. She didn't understand why she had suddenly started to nitpick everything her ex did.
Her therapist had told her that she was so angry with her father and didn't know how to deal with everything as she got older. She had started to put out all the negative energy she had build up in the past years onto her girlfriend.
It was horrible and after she realized that she hadn't been better than the man that she hated yet loved. She had become just like that to the love of her life. She had become that horrible person.
And she hated it.
Endless hours of therapy sessions slowly started to turn her around and change her for the better. She knew that she wasn't perfect. But at least she was trying to improve herself.
She picked up her phone and quickly put the woman's number in her phone before opening the camera app and and snapped a picture of her eating the sandwich.
'I missed your sandwiches. Thank you. And I'm sorry for saying that I hated them when I was younger. I was horrible. I treated you badly. I really appreciate that you still made this for me. It's delicious.'
She pressed send and put her phone to the side, focusing on the problem again. She felt more optimistic and had new energy to figure it out.
***
"Jisoo! Jora!" Jennie yelled excitedly and engulfed her friend into her arms. She pulled away after a while and pulled the older woman's husband into a hug.
"I can't believe that it has been seven months since last seeing you already. I'm so happy that it's close to Christmas. I really missed you guys." Jennie pouted making the couple laugh and followed Jennie back into her house.
"We missed you too. I sometimes regret moving so far away from my best friend too. But I really love it down there too..."
Jennie smiled and nodded, understanding it and led them to the dining room where Chaeyoung and Layla where sitting.
"CHAEYOUNGIE!" Jisoo yelled making the woman jump up startled. When she realized who it was, however, she ran over and tackled the older woman into a hug.
"Chu! I missed you!" she squeaked out and pulled the woman closer. "You stayed way too short with my three months ago." Jisoo pouted making Chaeyoung chukle and nod. "I know but work Chu."
Layla was talking to uncle Jora about a certain book that she had found and wanted to know if he had read it too. The girl was fourteen already and had come to visit her sister for the vacation.
She had turned out to be a book lover, just like Jisoo, and couldn't keep herself away from series, just like her sister.
"Lets start with dinner guys" Jennie said as she took a seat at the table, the others that were still standing, following her.
"Lisa unnie isn't joining?" She asked a bit confused as the woman still hadn't appeared. Eventhough she didn't see Lisa that often anymore she was still attached to the woman. It was she was her favorite, even more than Chaeyoung or Jisoo was, and sadness washed over her.
"No sorry Layla... She texted me saying that there was an emergency in Bangkok, and she had to leave immediately."
They nodded and soon enough dinner started.
Chaeyoung was quite disappointed that the woman hadn't been able to make it. In the past few months they had grown pretty close again. Both knew that there was still something there, but neither wanted to act on it. Too scared that it would ruin anything or it would be too soon.
Halfway through dinner the door suddenly flung open. Everyone jumped a bit, completely startled by the sudden noise.
At the door Lisa stood with a huge smirk on her face.
"Hey there... "
Before they could even say something they let out squeals as they noticed two figures appearing from behind Lisa.
"LUNA!"
"ELKIE!"
"LISA!"
They yelled all over the place. The food was abandoned and they were quick to engulf the others into a tight hug.
"Oh my god what a surprise!" Jisoo laughed happily and hugged Luna again who grinned widely.
"I am so happy to be back I missed you all so much!"
Layla had her arms tightly wrapped around Elkie who was clinging onto her.
"Layla unnie! I missed you! You have purple hair! Wow!" She squealed and wrapped her arms around the girl.
Layla giggled and nodded. "I do. Your hair is way longer too! I missed you little one." She pouted before hugging the young girl again.
Lisa smiled at the sight before greeting everyone too.
Soon enough dinner continued and happy chater was heard throughout the room.
They had so much to catch up on.
***
Lisa and Chaeyoung were walking along the half frozen lake with their hands stuffed into their warm pockets. They had thick scarfs wrapped around their necks and woolen beanies were on their face.
"The lake is beautiful..." Chaeyoung mumbled and Lisa hummed in agreement. "Indeed, it is... You are beautiful too."
A blush spread across the older woman's face, making Lisa smirk a bit.
They continued to walk in silence however. It wasn't completely awkward, just slightly weird.
Neither really knew what to say or do.
"I'm scared Rosie..." Lisa suddenly whispered, making Chaeyoung whip her head around.
"Of what?"
"Of fucking up again... I really... I still have feelings for you Chae, and they have been growing with the day. I know that you have feelings too, to a certain extend... And that makes me happy... But I'm just so fucking scared Chae..."
She looked up at the older woman with her big brown eyes and bit her lip.
"I'm scared that I will end up hurting you again. Or that I will end up losing you, completely. I know that I went to therapy and that things have changed in me... But I can't be scared of fucking up. What if I happen to not be fully healed? I still get nightmares sometimes. Or panic attacks. I still shut down sometimes. Eventhough I do try to open up now. But- but what if one day I get mad at you and I will yell at you? What if you get scared of me again? What If I end up treating you like shit again? I don't want that. I love you too much for that and I'm scared that I will lose you once we try again." She mumbled sadly.
Rosé pulled the younger woman closer to her. She looked so vulnerable. Nothing like the twenty six year old CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world.
"We aren't perfect Lisa... We won't ever be perfect. I will still push your buttons. I will still get frustrated with you... We will still have fights... But the difference is is that you are actually trying now. You made the effort to work on your mistakes. And I have seen that change in you. I am scared too. But not because I'm scared that you will hurt me again. I am scared that you will realize that after all these years I'm not the best for you..."
Rosé chewed on her bottom lip, trying to come up with something to say. Her mind was racing and she didn't seem to find the right words. Suddenly a song that she had written while being in Australia popped up and she started to softy sing it.
"When you say
You love the way I make you feel
Everything becomes so real
Don't be scared, no, don't be scared
'Cause you're all I need"
She pulled away from Lisa and took the younger woman's hand in hers.
"And you still look perfect as days go by
Even the worst ones, you make me smile
I'd stop the world if it gave us time"
She twirled Lisa around making the woman squeal as it was slightly slippery because of the snow.
"'Cause when you love someone
You open up your heart
When you love someone
You make room"
Lisa her heart was beating rapidly and a smile had formed onto her lips.
"If you love someone
And you're not afraid to lose 'em
You probably never loved someone like I do
You probably never loved someone like I do"
Lisa giggled as Chaeyoung was dramatically singing the lyrics, not caring that they were in a public place.
"All my life
I thought it'd be hard to find
The one 'til I found you
And I find it bittersweet
'Cause you gave me something to lose..."
Chaeyoung walked closer to Lisa and placed her arms onto the woman's shoulder, pulling her closer to her.
"But when you love someone
You open up your heart
When you love someone
You make room..."
They stared into each others eyes and Rosé continued to softly sing the lyrics.
"If you love someone
And you're not afraid to lose 'em
You probably never loved someone like I do
You probably never loved someone like I do"
She moved in closer for a kiss and whispered the last sentence, "You probably never loved someone like I do..." before their lips came into contact with each other.
The kiss was filled with emotions, and it was then that they realized that it would be worth it.
The years apart had made them grow as individual people so they could become their own person, before they started to lose themselves even more into each other.
They had matured and somehow life had decided that they were meant for each other.
They had passed their difficult times, and had the privilege to end up with each other again.
"Do you want to be my girlfriend Chaeyoung? I promise I will do a better job..."
Rosé felt tears prickling in her eyes and nodded.
"I do Lisa... and I will do a better job too..."
They knew that life still wouldn't be perfect. They they were way more sure of themselves. If their love had gone through so much, and was still standing. It had to mean something.
"Is it too soon to say that still love you?" Chaeyoung chuckled after they held each other for a while.
Lisa shook her head.
"I love you too... I always have my angel"
Chayoung grinned.
She felt in her soul that they would make it work this time.
"Now let's get some hot chocolate... I'm freezing." Lisa chuckled.
"Hot coco it is baby."
And so they went their way.
Together.
I can't say that the rest of their lives were a smooth sea, but they were skilled enough to sail on the waves.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////
And this is it my dear friends. I hope you guys enjoyed this. I am sorry for probably giving you guys a heart attack at the start.
I love you all. Stay tuned for other books.
In the upcoming week I am publishing a conversion of my own short story named "Color" which was a fifth harmony story but I found it cute and wanted to make a blackpink version too.
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
I HOPE THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT
this was a bit over 11000 words for you guys soooo
Ima head out.
And cry.
Bye babies.