"Last year," Luca starts, his eyes dropping to look at the floor, "I went through a phase where I thought I wouldn't be happy again. From the outside, my life seemed great but it was far from it behind closed doors when everything calmed down at night. When my family, friends and security teams all went home, my life was anything but great. I fully admit to having one-night stands but they were only to fill that sense of need that I had and to fill the loneliness. They were never going to be permeant."
"Do you really want to tell me, your fiancé, about the list of women in your closet?" I raise a brow at him and he looks at me. "I know about your one night stands but do you really want to go down that route?"
"There's a point to it," he mutters, unwilling to argue my point. I'm not trying to start an argument but it sure isn't something I wish to discuss. I can tell that he doesn't really want to talk about them or why he contacted me just last year but he will. He's going to do it because it will explain a lot. "After putting Louisa to bed one night, I sat in my office overlooking New York and I started to think. I thought I'd never get to be happy like I was when we were together and that was when I was truly happy. Back then, nothing could bring me down and erase the smile from my face. I had learned to deal with the fact that I wouldn't see you again but then I started making my money. Thousands soon turned to millions, that turned into tens of millions that then escalated into billions . . . the thought occurred to me then that I could use my money and resources to check on you to see how you were doing. It was only for my peace of mind and when I got the news that you were happy, I let it be.
"I soon realised that you had a better life without me in it and despite my unhappiness with my own life, I didn't see it as fair to bring you back into my life to make it better. At that point in time, that is. I'm not saying that I planned for Carlo to hit into Allison's car back in August because I didn't. The meeting I was in had run late which had a knock-on effect with all of my other meetings so Carlo being Carlo, he did the one thing he normally does if we're running late and that is to drive quicker and take chances."
I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you admitting to Carlo being at fault for that accident?"
He shakes his head and looks up at me with a grin. "Kaylee, anyone with a brain and eyes could see that it was Carlo's fault. Carlo knew it was his fault but because I was in the back of the car and we were running late, he tried his best to get the situation dealt with as calmly and as quickly as possible."
"He underestimated Allison, then."
"That is an understatement. He's never had to deal with someone like Allison because he's never crashed a vehicle before. He was acting out of impulse because as soon as people found out who was in the back of the car, it would draw some unneeded attention and it was mean that my lawyers would be working on covering that story up as well as trying to deal with my legal documents for my company."
"Would it have killed Carlo to admit that he was in the wrong?"
"No, but you saw how Allison reacted. It was drawing more attention than there needed to be and everyone involved just wanted it dealt with so we could get on with the rest of our day."
"Not one of Allison's finest hours but you can see where she was coming from." I'll always defend my best friend in any circumstance, even if she's in the wrong. Her attitude that day was over the top but I can see why she acted the way she did. If the roles were reversed and it was my car that Carlo had hit into, I'd be going off my head at him, too.
"Anyway, that day, I had let Carlo go out and deal with the situation while I contacted both Trent and Fredrick to inform them of what happened. It wasn't until I got off the phone and got out of the car that I realised who both you and Allison were. I had only seconds to decide on what to do and how to act towards the two of you. I didn't want to come straight out and let myself be known to the two of you."
"That's why you put your sunglasses on," I murmur. He knew that as soon as I saw him without something covering his eyes, I would know who it was and he was right. As soon as I saw his eyes, I knew who he was. What threw me off – other than the fact that seeing him again hadn't crossed my mind – was the fact that he had bulked up and was wearing a suit that sat perfectly on him. I hadn't known him like that so seeing his eyes again told me who he was as soon as I saw them.
"Yes, and my plan to drag things out would have worked well if it wasn't for the gossiping that soon started after people saw who I was." He chuckles at the memory. "Anyway, back to what I was previously saying, to ease my mind of the dampening thoughts I started having of being lonely, I started looking through the photo albums I have that contain the photos of us."
"Is that the same ones you went off on one at Jade at?"
He just nods. "I just sat looking at them then I remembered about the voicemails on my old phone that you had sent me. I got each and every one of them, Kaylee, but it was my choice to not respond to any of them because I didn't want to open that can of worms that I had spent a lot of time closing. For at least once a week after I got the first one, I would check the phone to see if you had called me. That then changed to once a month and when I eventually got a new voicemail from you, I was over the moon. Just knowing that you had contacted me sparked the happiness inside of me once again and for all it only lasted a short period of time, I felt like we were together again. It felt like we were never apart."
He stops speaking and rubs his hands together, contemplating how to tell me the next part which can't be a good thing. If he's taking this long to get his wording of the next part right there must be something big that happened that I don't know about.
"Kaylee, hearing the way you spoke broke my heart. I knew you were hurting and I hated the fact that I was the cause of it. I hated being so far away from you and not being able to make things better. It infuriated me when you drunk dialled me to say that you were with someone who was better than me. I didn't know what to do other than hit the drink and if it wasn't for Fredrick hauling my ass out for an early morning run the pouring rain the following day, I know for a fact that I would've continued to drink and most likely have gotten on the first flight to London."
I laugh lightly. "I think you're being a little dramatic, Luca."
"Don't believe me, ask Fredrick yourself." He looks up at me, all serious like this conversation. "He'll tell you that I even nearly got run over that morning. A car just about caught my heal because I slowed down that much with being hungover and I fell to the ground."
"See, that's what happens when you drink so much to try and mask your feelings." I lean forward and rest my arms on the desk. I raise my brows. "I should know that more than anyone with Allison as a drinking buddy."
"I'm being serious, Kaylee." He shuffles forward in the chair. "Back then, feeling the way I did and being in that state of mind, I would have come back to you there and then regardless of my responsibilities. But I didn't and it's because I remembered that my responsibilities are greater than my needs, and that's what I wanted back then. I wanted to fulfil a need that I previously had. One I thought had left my system but it was clear that it didn't."
I frown at his words. They sound way too familiar at this point to be his words. They sound more like his mum's words than his and I'll be damned if I'm going to go through all this shit again with her. "Luca, I need to ask you this because it will drive me crazy if I don't."
He blinks and waits or me to go on.
"Did your mum help you with that?" I blurt out, not caring how it sounds. I want to know the truth and he better tell me the truth without dancing over the key points.
"She . . . both she and Fredrick helped me see sense," he admits.
"I see," I drag out. I knew his words sounded familiar and it's because it has his mum written all over them. It's what she did when we first broke up and it's what she did then. I just knew that that wasn't the Luca that I know talking. I just knew it.
"Do you?" He retaliates, sitting back. "You may have sent those voicemails to me but I had to listen to them. I know I was the one who put an end to things and I hold my hands up and admit to that. My mother even admits to helping to split us up but it doesn't mean that I was fine after it happened. I may have kept myself busy after our break up which helped me gain success and an insane amount of money, but I still felt lost. I felt alone despite being surrounded by friends and family who thought I was happy.
"I've always had the remnants of our break up stuck in my head but there was nothing I could do about it because it was done. It was over and I had to just accept that and get on with my life. I had to put my daughter first and that's exactly what I did. I went to my mother who helped me try to get over you but I never could. I only made it look like I was completely over you and that was good enough for everyone in my life including myself. Then I thought that if I could put on a brave face for that and make it look like I was fine, I could also apply that technique to work.
"I filled my days with work and father duties so my mind was always on something but that night I called you . . . that same night I just sat looking out my office window at the world that had become my life . . . the world I had created for myself and that I wouldn't give up . . . that was the same night Fredrick and I secured a contract to build a further ten new hotels across the world that we had been working on for months . . . all I could think about was how lonely it was without sharing my success and that life with the one person I loved most in the world."
I'm shocked. I'm so shocked that I have tears falling from my eyes at his brutal honesty and the raw emotion behind his words. I can go on and on about being a mess and how badly our break up affected me, but in reality, it hit Luca a lot harder than it hit me. Reading between the lines, it seems like he was nearing a mental breakdown over not having me in his life and I can see it now.
I can see why he has always been more than willing to fly back to London when he knew that I needed him even though I hadn't physically said the words. He was reaching his breaking point before Fredrick and his mum stepped in to help him, or so they thought they were helping him. He has a good poker face but if it wasn't for Fredrick, mainly, stepping in and helping him, who knows where he could be. And looking back at the conversations I've had with both Fredrick and Jane, their words make more sense to me now than they previously did.
"That's when you returned my messages," I whisper. I wipe away the tears that have fallen as Luca spoke.
"I had to do something. It was a long-shot but I gave it a go. I called you and left the voicemails and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I instantly felt less stressed. I felt Calm. Free. After telling you that I loved you and that I always will, I made a vow to myself that if I ever got a chance to see you again, I wouldn't let you go because it would be a sign that we were meant to be together. A sign that after all the pain and heartache we had both been through was enough for us to finally get our happy ending together."
"Luca . . ." I start.
"I want us to have our happy ending, Kaylee." He gets up and rounds the desk. He kneels down next to me and takes my hands in his. "I know you want that, too."
"I do want that," I agree, " and I'm sorry you went through all of that."
He presses his lips together and kisses our clasped hands. "I realise now that in order to get here, with you in my life again, I've had to go through a lot of bad things that I thought would never end."
I open my mouth to respond but he goes on, knowing exactly what I'm going to say.
"And that is coming from me and not my mother," he smiles.
I smile. "Well, in order for us to get our happy ending, I have one condition."
"Anything. Name it."
I pull a hand from his grasp and place it on the mouse, moving the cursor to open another file Allison told me about yesterday. I open it and glance back at Luca. "We use this to get Nadia sent away once and for all."
His smile grows as he looks at the screen. "Consider it done."