"He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none." Madeline Miller
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XXIII.
"Will you tell me where you are taking me?" Eliza asked for the fifteenth time. "We have been walking for ages!"
"We have not been walking that far," rebuffed Captain Buckley.
"But your legs are twice as long as mine! I must walk farther!"
Captain Buckley had woken Eliza early. Early enough for it to still be dark out. Eliza could remember a time, very recently in fact, where she would not rise out of bed before ten in the morning.
He had told her that as the crew would be carting sugar all day, and as he wanted to steer clear of the plantation, they would be going on an adventure.
Captain Buckley had called their expedition and adventure.Eliza could have sworn that she was dreaming. But there was spirit in his dark eyes, and Eliza was determined to follow.
He had not revealed to her just why the previous day had been so poor, nor had he confided in her about why he had not laughed in twenty years, and Eliza secretly hoped that today would be the day.
Captain Buckley had led Eliza out of town on foot and into the mountainous jungle. He knew his way well and navigated the terrain with ease. But he was patient and understood that Eliza could only go as fast as her short legs would take her.
She was terribly hot and sweaty, but she put it out of her mind when she focussed on what she was doing. She was exploring mountainous Jamaica! Never in her wildest dreams could she have predicted such an incredible journey for herself. It was worth every drop of sweat.
The jungle was so alive. Everything was green and tall, and the trunks of the trees were covered in mossy life. She saw insects that she had never seen before. Mysterious fruit hung from trees. She even saw a family of monkeys swinging through the trees.
She heard their destination before they saw it. She could hear the powerful water. But nothing could compare to what she saw when they stepped out of the jungle and into the small lagoon.
A cove of rock protected the lagoon, and gush of water spilled over it, magnetically falling into the crystal-clear pool below. Eliza could see every single pebble in the lagoon. The water kept coming, cascading down as though it were a painting, or a figment of Eliza's imagination. Never had she seen such natural beauty.
The sun began to rise over the top of the cove, giving off the most beautiful golden glow. It did not seem real.
"Is it worth the trek?" asked Captain Buckley.
"It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," gushed Eliza, covering her mouth with her hands.
"I would have agreed with you a month or so ago," he murmured quietly, but Eliza had already rushed over to the edge of the pool.
Squatting down, she placed her hands in the cool, fresh water, feeling the smoothness of the stones with her palms. She was so distracted that she had not noticed the captain removing his shirt and boots and running directly into the lagoon, disturbing the water, and splashing as he ran, before reaching a depth that allowed him to swim.
Eliza noticed immediately that across his back were dozens of little drawings, tattoos, she thought they were called. She had never seen one in person before.
Captain Buckley dove underwater before rising again a moment later, rubbing the water from his face. As he bobbed in the water, she could see that his chest had several tattoos as well, though from her position, she could not discern what they were.
"Are you coming in?" he called out to her.
Standing, Eliza shouted back, "I cannot swim!"
"I will teach you. It is easy," he assured her.
Well, she could see the bottom of the pool. She would hopefully be able to stand up to a certain point. She brought her fingers to the button of her shirt before she realised that the captain was still watching her.
"Turn around!" she cried. "You ought to be a gentleman!"
"I am not a gentleman, but I will oblige a lady," he replied, though she could have sworn he sounded reluctant. He turned in the water, facing the waterfall.
Squinting, Eliza tried to make out what the pictures were on his back, but she could not quite see. What she did notice, though, was how broad his back was, and how strong his shoulders were. He looked ever so strong.
Eliza quickly unbuttoned her shirt and stepped out of her boots and breeches, standing only in her chemise that hung loosely at her knees. If her mother could see her now. Eliza stepped into the water carefully, taking another step and then another.
The sound of her entering the water prompted Captain Buckley to turn around, to which Eliza screamed. "No, don't look!" she cried, but her fright had made her miss her step, and she slipped over, landing hard on her backside. "Ow!" She had also managed to whack her still sore knuckles on a rock as well.
She heard him laugh again, once more at her expense, as he swum towards her, before walking the rest of the way.
"Are you alright?" he asked. "Anything hurt?"
"Only my pride," she retorted. "I told you not to look!"
"And I told you I was not a gentleman," he snapped back, though clearly still amused. But he extended out his hand, and nodded for her to take it.
Eliza placed his small hand in his, and he helped her to her feet. Standing at eye level with his taut chest, she could now see what had been permanently drawn upon his skin. There was an anchor tattooed directly in the centre of his chest, and two blue birds flew above it, tattooed on his collar bones. She then saw his arms were not unmarked, and he had several curious pictures added there as well.
Captain Buckley helped Eliza to walk across the pool carefully, wading with her into the deeper water, and chuckling as Eliza endeavoured to keep her skirt from floating atop the water.
When she stood waist deep in the cool water, she stopped. "This is far enough," she told him fearfully.
She was still a good thirty feet from the waterfall, and the sound of it muffled their voices a little.
"I did not bring you all the way to this waterfall for you to merely look at it," he chided playfully. "Come now, I told you I would help you. Lie back," he instructed. "You are going to float."
Eliza stared at him. "Fall back into the water? Are you mad? I will go under!" she cried.
"No, you will not. Lie back, and my hands will be there holding you up. I promise." Captain Buckley placed a hand on Eliza's back, and with the other, he guided her back into the water.
She felt such instant panic as her feet left the ground that a few tears escaped her eyes. But she could feel Captain Buckley's hands underneath her, immediately supporting her. Before she knew it, she was lying horizontally on top of the water, looking up at the orange sky above her. The natural ripples in the water from the waterfall jostled her in a soothing way.
"Hold out your arms and spread your legs a bit," he instructed.
Eliza obeyed.
"And now you are floating."
All of a sudden, he removed his arms and Eliza was bobbing on top of the water herself. Her panic immediately returned as she scrambled to find the bottom of the pool, ultimately swallowing a large gulp of water as she splashed about, trying to keep her head above the surface.
"Eliza, Eliza! Calm down! You are safe!" cried Captain Buckley as he immediately grabbed a hold of her again. Eliza clung onto him for dear life, not at all conscious of the face that she was holding onto a half-naked man.
"You said you would hold me up!" she shouted accusingly.
"You are naturally buoyant," he promised her. "You were in no danger until you started splashing around like a fish. Will you try it again?"
Eliza floated and failed and floated over and over again for a good hour, until both of them were crinkly from the water. But his patience with her meant that she eventually got up the confidence to float across the deepest part of the lagoon to reach the waterfall.
The water was like an assault, but one that was cleansing and exhilarating. They both climbed up onto the rock ledge and stood directly underneath the oncoming water. Eliza laughed gleefully as she drenched, holding out her arms and looking up at what adventure had brought her to.
Captain Buckley did the same, holding out his arms, and looking the freest she had ever seen him. He smiled at her. He really smiled, a cheerful, hopeful, peaceful, and content look that warmed her heart.
He then jumped off the ledge, diving head first under the water, and swimming up to the surface. "Jump!" he called out to her.
"No, I will go under!" she shouted back.
"Eliza, look where you are standing!" Captain Buckley gestured to the waterfall that was still hurtling down on top of her. "Jump! You have nothing to be afraid of!"
Eliza took a deep breath and blocked her nose with her hand, before she jumped off the ledge into the deep water. The minute she went under, she began to panic, and she flailed about to reach the surface. But she managed to kick her way up to the top, and she filled her lungs with air.
Captain Buckley was quickly at her side, holding her up, as she beamed up at him. But her smile slowly faded as she met his eyes. Their dark depths were focussed on her intently, droplets of water dripping from his eyelashes. She could see from the rise and fall of his chest that he was breathing quickly, his mouth agape.
Eliza's own breath caught in her throat as nerves began to flutter in her stomach. Oh, to hell with it. She thought he might have kissed her when she had fallen from the pier, but he had not. When was she ever one to shy away from doing whatever she wanted?
Eliza quickly closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his softly, but passionately. She felt his response immediately as his arms tightened around her, and she could not help but smile against him. She pulled away from him a few moments later, returning to look into his eyes.
He had never looked more handsome than with soft, tender eyes.
"Come on," he uttered, "kick your legs and we will dry off in the sun."
He helped Eliza onto her front and guided her as she kicked her legs towards the shore. As soon as the water was shallow enough, she stood up and walked out of the water. She was suddenly very aware that her chemise was practically transparent, and so she quickly covered herself with her shirt as she sat down in the sun.
Captain Buckley sat down beside her, but he did not say anything, and so Eliza began to fret. Had she just made a mistake? Had she embarrassed herself? It had felt like the right thing to do, and in that moment, she had never felt closer to him.
And to deflect her incoming embarrassment, Eliza said, "Do you know, of all the men I have kissed, you would have to rate at number seven. Well done." Her cheeks immediately flushed crimson.
Scoffing, he remarked, "Only number seven?"
"I am very sought after and desired, you know. My ineptness, my incorrigibility, and my inability to follow any rules makes me irresistible to a lot of men," Eliza continued humorously, using words that he had called her against him.
Captain Buckley laughed quietly. "Eliza, you needn't feel embarrassed. Selfishly, very selfishly, I am glad it happened."
Eliza settled herself immediately and breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, I am glad. And if we are being honest. You really rate and number four, Captain."
"You really are incorrigible," he said, shaking his head with a smile. "But I wish you would call me Tom. Captain seems a little superfluous now."
Tom. She grinned. Why did it please her so much that she could call him by his Christian name? She only knew one other man by such an informal title and that was her sister's husband.
Eliza noticed as he crossed his feet that even those were tattooed. He had a small picture of an animal on the tops of both feet. "What do your tattoos mean, Tom?" she asked curiously.
Tom frowned. "Just things I have collected over the years, sailor markers and superstitions, really." He sat up straighter as he bent one of his legs, bringing his foot closer. "A lot of sailors have exactly the same tattoos as I have. The pig and the rooster are always tattooed on the feet."
"Why?" asked Eliza.
"In a wreck, their wooden cages prevent them from going down with the ship. Often the pigs and the roosters are the only animals that survive a sinking. Sailors believe ... well, we get them to prevent drowning at sea," he explained. "The anchor," he continued, gesturing to the large tattoo in the middle of his chest. "I really qualified for this tattoo at ten, but I did not have the pain tolerance. A piece of wood between my teeth and I managed it at eleven. A sailor receives an anchor when he first crosses the Atlantic Ocean."
Eliza gasped. "Does that mean that I qualify for an anchor?"
Tom's eyes narrowed. "Your skin will be marked over my dead body," he warned. "I am happy to be a hypocrite on this occasion."
Eliza grinned teasingly. "My mother would never speak to me again, do not fret. Please, go on," she encouraged. "I find this fascinating. What do the birds mean?"
"They are blue swallows," he corrected, "and a sailor has one for every five thousand nautical miles he travels. These were tattooed on me when I was eleven. And," he said, shuffling around to show her his back. There she saw easily two dozen other smaller swallows, as though they were flying across his back. Just how far had he travelled? "I get one or two added each year depending on how far I travel. I have thirty-one swallows in total."
Eliza gasped. She could not calculate that arithmetic in her head.
"A life at sea," Tom said simply. He held up his forearm, where a turtle was drawn. "This is a shellback turtle," he explained, "and is a symbol of a sailor entering King Neptune's Court. A ceremonial tattoo for when a sailor crosses the equator for the first time."
Eliza stared at the detail in the shell and was fascinated that such an animal could represent such a significant feat. The last tattoo that she could see was the most curious. It did not look finished.
It looked to be half a star on his left shoulder. "What does that one mean? Is it unfinished?"
Tom looked down on his shoulder and nodded. "Yes, it is unfinished," he confirmed. "It is a nautical star. It is meant to help guide a sailor home."
"Why have you not finished it?"
"When I have a home, I will."
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Sharing is caring!! Wooo he's starting to open up. I hope there's nothing looming that could ... shake things up ...
One of my very favourite memories as a kid was swimming out to this waterfall and standing underneath it. The feeling of the water beating down on you was just so freeing.
But do you want to know something gross? So sailors used to tattoo each other, and they used gunpowder and urine for ink. EWWWW!!!!
Better head to sleep as I am picking my brother up from the airport tomorrow.
Side note though: I've booked all my accommodation for my big UK & Ireland trip at the end of the year. I'm heading to Derbyshire :DDD and going up to Inverness to be an Outlander nerd. Gah, so excited.
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