"That's not real. That can't be real." My dad looked over to me, then back at George who was still holding up the sonogram.
"Sadie look me in the eyes and tell me that isn't real!"
I looked down to my belly and placed my hand upon it. As soon as I made contact with the area my little girl gave me a reassuring kick, giving me the confidence to answer him.
"She's real, dad." I murmured with tears rolling down my cheeks.
My dad shook his head, and he still seemed as if he was in disbelief. My mother was silent, staring at the ground as she bit her nails down to the flesh. She hadn't looked up once, and I knew she was reeling.
"Stupid girl...you fall in love with a married man and then you get yourself knocked up in the process?" Dad seethed, pacing around the room in fury. "I expected so much more out of you."
"I- I guess I deserve that." I bowed my head down and sighed.
"You deserve a hell of a lot more than that, Sadie! What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I don't know daddy!" My voice was cracking.
"I know that falling in love with George was wrong but there's nothing I can do about it now! I love him with all of my heart!" My breathing was getting heavy, and I felt like a panic attack was brewing.
"And the feeling is mutual, Mr. and Mrs. Brooks." George agreed.
"E-excuse me." My mother startled us all by speaking. "Could I please have some time alone with my daughter? Please?" She pleaded, speaking calm and rationally.
My father had no problem bolting out of the door, slamming it on his way out. George and I shot a glance at each other, and I whispered that I was fine. He pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead and gave my stomach one as well, and went on his way.
When the door shut it felt as if a bomb went off in my heart, triggering all of my nerves and emotions and bringing them to the forefront. Tears streamed down like rivers and for the first time since today, my mother's eyes met my own.
"How far along?" She asked, disappointment evident in her voice.
"Fifteen weeks."
"And you're sure the baby belongs to George?"
"Yes, mum."
She shook her head and tilted it down again, playing with the strap of her purse while she mulled over her thoughts.
"Why, Sadie? Why did you do this?"
Her question broke me, and I began sobbing hard. I didn't know what to tell her because I truly didn't know the answer.
"I don't know, mum." I wiped my tears away. "He was just so kind to me."
"But he's a married man, Sadie."
"I know that! That fact has been haunting me since our very first kiss!" I yelled a little louder than I meant to. "But you can't help who you fall in love with and I am madly in love with George."
"Sadie I just don't get it! You're so young, bright, and beautiful, You could have any man you want and you choose him?"
"I know, it seems ridiculous!
"It is ridiculous!"
"Hear me out, please!"
She leaned back and nodded, listening intently.
"Mum, George was the first person who ever truly loved me for me! I've never had that from anybody before, especially not from you and dad!"
"Sadie... I-is that how you really feel?" Now her voice was breaking.
"God yes, mum! Do you not see that you and dad have been placing unrealistic expectations on me for my whole entire life? You have always expected me to go above and beyond in school, at home, in my social life, and it's all too much! You've always provided me with the best of everything, schooling, cars, nannies and all that, and I appreciate it. I really do! But all I ever really wanted- all I ever needed was genuine love and support! A mum and dad who actually took time off of work to be with me!"
"Sadie-"
"Oh Don't you dare try to deny it! It's all true and you know it!" I cried.
"Sadie you're my daughter and I care about you! I have always cared about you!"
"Believe it or not I don't doubt your love. I just know my place. I know that your job and your reputation mean much more to you than I do."
She was speechless. What could she say?
"Just admit it. You're not concerned about me. You're more concerned about your perfect little life falling apart at the seams because of your disappointing slut of a daughter." I couldn't believe I was actually saying all of this out loud.
"Do you remember when we were looking at houses? When you found out that George and Olivia would be our neighbors?"
She shook her head.
"Cause I remember! I remember you mentioning how wonderful it'll be to be part of a former Beatle's social circle. I remember you mentioning how it'll be a great bragging right at your fancy parties...."
"I...I suppose I-"
"Funny to think about now, isn't it? I bet when you said all of that you never would have thought that you'd end up being the grandmother of George's child." I chuckled.
"Oh, and another thing! If your friends question you about the newspaper headline, you can go ahead and tell them that I fucked John Lennon too."
"Sadie!"
"Just want to make sure you have your facts straight."
"I've heard enough." She scoffed, throwing her purse down onto the floor. The contents of it clattered around the tile, making a loud enough noise to make me flinch in fear.
"It's clear that you harbor a lot of resentment towards your father and I." She spoke with glassy eyes, her voice shaky and meek.
"Perhaps we could have done better job raising you, but we we're only doing what we thought was right."
"Well clearly it was wrong." I mumbled.
"I see that, thank you." She almost cracked a smile.
I looked over to her and saw the sadness in her eyes. I could also see the slightest hint of guilt.
"I'm sorry, Sadie. I'm sorry we weren't there for you more."
"Thank you for that." I retorted. "But it's okay. I have George now..."
She half-smiled and took a deep breath.
"Do you really love him?"
"I do."
"Then why did you go to New York? Why did you um... you know... with John?"
"Well... you remember the night of the Christmas party, right? After I was admitted to the hospital....when George came to see me..."
"Yes, I remember." She cringed at the thought.
"He told me it was over between he and Olivia. He said that he loved me and wanted to be with me."
She looked down again. "I see."
"I just felt so overwhelmed by it all. I didn't know why at the time but I guess it was due to the pregnancy hormones..."
"After he left I just felt trapped. I knew in the morning he'd most likely come back, and that you and dad would ask me all kinds of questions about the affair. So I panicked and called John."
Mum shook her head confused.
"Sadie, how do you even know John?"
"Remember that trip I took to the states back in September?"
"Yes, the one for school. Washington D.C. was it?
"I-it wasn't for school. I went to New York with George."
"Oh for fucks sake!" She huffed angrily.
"I know, I know." I agreed.
"I went to New York with George and I met John. He and I ended up connecting on the trip and..."
"And what?"
"And... we made love."
"So that's when it happened... alright go on." She was tense, but I knew she needed to hear the whole story.
"We agreed that it was just a one time thing and that we'd remain friends. He said he'd fly me out there if I ever needed to escape."
"Right..." she was taking all of this better than I expected her to. "So he flew you you out there... that's where those pictures came from..."
"Yes... I don't know what I was thinking honestly."
"You weren't thinking, Sadie! You don't seem to do much of that nowadays!"
I gave her a scowl and sighed angrily.
"Sorry... so then what happened?"
"So... I went to New York and John let me stay with him."
"And nothing sexually happened between you two again?"
My silence said everything.
"Jesus Sadie! How can you possibly think you're in love with George when you keep sleeping with John?"
"It was only twice and that's done, I swear! After everything George and I went through last night I couldn't imagine ever betraying him again!"
"What happened last night?" Her eyes widened in fear.
My heart felt tight as I relived the horror, and I clutched onto my stomach to rub it gently.
"I almost lost her, mum." I whispered through tears.
"Oh Sadie..."
"There was so much blood, mum! And the pain was awful! Like knives twisting in my sides...I..." I could barely speak through the crying, feeling both terrified by the memory and also relieved that everything turned out to be fine.
My mother rushed to my side and took me into her arms, kissing the top of my head reassuringly. I could feel a dampness on my scalp, which told me that she was crying too.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"It's alright mum, George was by my side the whole time."
She wouldn't let go of me. It's as if she was trying to hold me together with her arms.
Our tender moment was interrupted by the squeak of the door handle turning. George had returned and I saw him smile as soon as he saw my mother and I locked in an embrace.
"Hello George." My mum said as soon as she saw him.
"Mrs. Brooks." He nodded.
Mum reluctantly let me out of her arms and patted me on the back, then got up to pick up the items that had fallen out of her purse.
"I'd better get going." She muttered with a trembling voice.
"Mrs. Brooks, let me do that for you." George offered, kneeling down to clean up. Mum smiled.
"Thank you."
It warmed me to see them interact cordially, even if it was only for a second.
"There you are." George smiled as he handed her her purse. She slipped it over her shoulder and mustered a grin towards him.
"Did you happen to see where my husband went?" She asked him.
"Yes, he went to go wait in the car."
She nodded.
"Well, okay then." She turned to me. "I'll see you two around I suppose."
"Yes, mum." I said.
"Sure thing, Mrs. Brooks."
My mum turned to George and suddenly pulled him into a tight, uncomfortable hug. He furrowed his brows together in confusion but quickly wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back.
"Take care of my girls, okay?" She said in a threatening way, making George chuckle.
"I'm serious!" She growled.
"I'm planning on it, Mrs. Brooks. I promise you, your daughter and granddaughter are my number one priority now and forever."
She smiled and let him go, then patted him on the chest.
After that she was gone, and it was just the three of us once again.