I think what freaked me out the most about last night's night terror, was the fact I haven't had a nightmare since the second(?) grade.
Even back then my nightmares had a consistent theme, and I can only remember two from that time. I really only can think of those past two, and this recent on when trying to remember my nightmares.
The dreams I can recall share a consistent theme too. In the fact I'm aware that I'm in a dream, but I can't control what happens. I am only aware for a few minutes, and the dream just drops off when I wake up.
In second grade you'd think I wouldn't have much to fear, but looking back, my nightmares were rather wild. They were always triggered by a specific event.
Now, these dreams may seem silly to people, but let's remember I was in the second grade. I didn't fucking know what war was, or anything that's actually frightening I know of now.
I say that, but these dreams are still fucking riddled with anxieties I didn't know I had. The first one I'm going to talk about it's the longer one, and it's fucking wacky.
Can we remember I was in the second grade for a moment. This isn't something that happened recently, though the fear of the main things I still have.
Alright, so, this was a dream about a fucking worm invasion. It's probably the stupidest basis for this nightmare, but this bitch had a fucking second showing.
It started because, you guessed it, I found a worm on my shoulder while on a bike and completely freaked. I don't think I'd actually registered the fact these things were everywhere, and when my dad told me, I guess that's where the sort of fear started.
For some reason they infected people into "worm-people" by having them eat "worm donuts." To sum up the dream, I watched my family forced to eat them. Turn into worms. Losing my family. Then being forced to do so myself. Dying in the process.
This dream happened again, like, a few years after for no reason. Completely unprompted for I no longer had the weird fear of worms. I just found them creepy.
The anxieties, or whatever you want to refer to it as, I could pick up on now are: losing my family, infection, death and the obvious fear of worms/bugs. Pretty on the nose, but the weirdest thing for a second grader to worry about, or even have nightmares about.
This second dream I only remember a few minutes of. It'd lasted a few hours though, I think. It was caused when a rather large arachnid ran underneath a couch I'd been sitting on.
Now, I'm not really sure this happened in the second grade. It might've been later in my elementary school years, but I'm not sure. I'd need my little brother to fact check, and he's not awake.
This one was simple. I was paralyzed in my bed, eyes glued up. A spider as long as probably half of an average room wall coming down slowly. The dream ended by me being suffocated and eaten.
The entire dream the only thing I really remember was the paralyzing fear I had when I woke up. I remember being unable to scream, or move. I think what freaked me out the most, was the fact I was completely alone.
The entire room had been thrown into a pitch blackness. I could've been watching the spider descend on my body for hours, and it'd only seemed like minutes to me.
The fears are, once again, obvious. Death, arachnids, the dark, what lies in the dark and being alone.
All in all: second grade me was fucking wild.