Chapter 15: Broken
Walking out of the lunchroom was nerve wrecking. Everyone was staring at me as I went to put away my tray and leave. Sheesh, tough crowd. Guess no one has ever really shouted at a teacher before. Even if she was my mother, I had no right to disrespect her like that. I humiliated her in front of everyone. Sure, people would assume otherwise that I just got myself in trouble. But could I really when she's my mother? It's kind of our normal as sad as it sounds.
And the weird part was that I had missed her when she wasn't home. Now it's just. . . Back to how they were. Usually people would think mothers and daughters would get along, especially if they were royalty. Truth is that wasn't true at all. At least not in my case. I do love her honestly, but our relationship is most likely long gone and out the rabbit hole.
Leaving the castleteria with Alistair we departed our ways so he could head to his next class and I went off to go find someone to find some answers. I needed to know the truth. If what I was told was honest and real, then I had to know for myself.
I went straight to the library knowing that's where he'd usually be about. It took a while to finally find it because of my awful tour guide didn't show me around at all. I still don't really know where some of my classes are. At least not straight away. It's very confusing. Wonderland was much easier than this. There was a riddle for everything. Topsy turvy rooms and different ways of travel and the exciting personalities that surround all of Wonderland was fascinating. This place was a bit boring.
Upon finding the library, I opened the large doors which slammed open loudly causing the ugly stepsisters to hiss at me telling me to be quiet. I rolled my eyes ignoring them as I scanned the library. It was pretty average in size. I missed mine at home. All the little crooks and nannies were full of enjoyment with their mysterious words of wonder and fun. I wonder if there's any similarity to that in here.
At first sight, I found Vic Jabbers sitting at a desk with a couple of books in front of him with one propped up on the others to hold it in place. That's smart. Considering he was the only person I knew in the library I decided to make my way to him. He hadn't noticed my presence until I sat across from him. His bright, dangerous eyes glanced up at me before looking back down at the pages presented in front of him.
I decided to break the silence. "What's up, Vic?"
"Reading. Can't you tell?" Vic said slightly annoyed that I was bothering him.
"Sorry, no need to get your fangs twisted." I said as he rolled his eyes at my commentary. "I just wanted to know if you've seen Dexter."
"Who? Your boyfriend?" Vic said in a sassy manner. He took a strand of my hair and twirled it while slyly smirking at me in a taunting way. "I thought August was your boyfriend? Or perhaps, Alistair? There's a lot of A's on your list, but darling, go alphabetical at least."
"Vic, come on." I said pulling my hair away from him. "They're not my boyfriends. August is my friend and Alistair is my best friend, got it? Dexter is my boy—"
"-friend, got it," said Vic with an eye roll. "Which doesn't make sense to me. Wouldn't you go for someone you already know well enough and not with a practical stranger for only thirty minutes a day which you hardly know?"
"It isn't like that, I —"
"-Love them, I get it. It's in every fantasy girl's reality. Particularly in this realm, is it not? Becoming more like them, aren't you?" He was taunting me making me blush. It was all over his smug face. He was enjoying humiliating me.
"Vic, stop it." I frowned at him having enough of his little game. "Have you seen Dexter or not?"
Vic sighed ceasing his torment. "Perhaps. What's in it for me?"
"Vic!"
"Shhh!" The ugly step sisters silenced me as I slightly cowered by their abruptness.
"Fine." Vic finally caved in. "I saw him upstairs talking to someone about five minutes ago. But don't hold your breath. He could be long gone by now."
I got up and sprinted to the stairway in the library as I went up a couple steps at a time. Reaching the second floor I already felt out of breath. Man, I need to get in shape!
And there I saw him. Dexter Charming with his gelled dark hair and his cute clumsy self talking casually with who seemed to be a friend of his. They were talking quietly, communicating in whispers at the table between them.
Dexter hadn't noticed my presence. That was until I had walked up to them and taking a seat beside him that interrupted their conversation.
"Oh, hey, Izzy, what's up?" Dexter asked with a cute smile.
"Can. . . Can I talk to you? Alone?" I asked him referring to his friend who instantly stood up to his feet and giving him a wink before walking away leaving us alone together.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked me. I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond. Quite frankly, I didn't know myself.
"No, no I don't think so." I said while scooting my chair closer to the table and coincidentally towards him.
"So what's up?" said Dexter nonchalantly.
I sighed, taking a deep breath to get this over with. "I found out you used to like Raven. Is that true? Do you still have feelings for her?"
He blushed, his cheeks turning pink while looking down a bit with a nervous grin. He scratched the back of his head not sure of how to respond.
"Yeah, I did. I still kinda do still. But with you I can finally move on and try and forget about it. That. . . Probably didn't come out the best way."
"Look, I like you. I think you're cute and funny and really something." I said but I bit my tongue not wanting to say the rest but my mouth continued to blab before I could catch onto my words. "However, I think you should reconsider. Raven likes you. She told me herself. I-I don't want to be some rebound so you can get your feelings over from someone else especially when you don't need to. It isn't healthy. It isn't right. I'm sorry, Dexter. I like you, but you still really like her. You and I are just not meant to be it seems. And I'll be okay with that. Eventually. . . But you deserve to be happy with someone who you'll get to love. And I believe that isn't me. Thanks for everything for what was."
I kissed his cheek as a last goodbye before getting up and running to the stairs before he could say another word. I dashed down the stairway and scurried our the library into the hallway.
I let out a shaky breath as I felt my lips tremble. My hands went to my face to cover the tears that already began to flow. I felt heartbroken. Yet, I was the one who broke his heart. Why does it feel like mine is shattered? I thought I found someone who actually might've cared and wanted to get to know me for who I was and wanted me for that alone. Even if it was only for a short amount of time I thought what I felt was a connection. I'm not ever going to be enough for anybody. I just wanted love. Some romance. Somebody to love me. I wanted my mom. . .
But she doesn't care. She's more about her herself than me. She puts more attention in her role as Queen rather than as my mother. Maybe that's why I have so many problems with myself. It would appear to explain a lot.
A mirrorpad was suddenly in front of me as I glanced up to see Blondie Locks. I quickly rubbed away my tears so she wouldn't notice but I think the camera already captured it.
"So Isabella White, tell me, what was that fight about earlier with your mother the White Queen?" asked Blondie Locks with a giggle with her rosy cheeks so cheerful and charismatic. "It was so not right to see a mother and daughter fight! What was all that juicy gossip about?"
"Butt out," I said pushing her mirrorpad out of my face as she gasped from beside me. "That's totally not your business and an invasion of my boundaries. I don't need the whole school knowing my dysfunctional relationship with my mom. Got it?"
"Right! Or so not right!" I facepalmed walking away from her to get someplace else. Instead, she continued to follow me with her mirrorpad still in my face. "Then why were you crying when you left the library? Did you read a devastating romance novel? From the look on your face it appears as a sad love story. What was it? Drama? Heartbreak? Death?"
"Blondie, enough!" I said pushing her mirrorpad once again away from my face. I could feel myself redden in humiliation. "Give it a rest. It's not your business."
"But we all want to know! We want to see what made Isabella White so vulnerable and teary-eyed."
"That's just you, Blondie." I sighed having enough of this. I could feel my energy depleting. I needed a cup of tea. And my friends. "Just chill out, okay? You may get the intel about everybody else but I don't like myself sprawled all over to be broadcasted on your platform. I'm a background character after all. I like it that way. Out of sight out of mind. Okay?"
"If it's okay to you then it's just right to me!" she beamed into a grin. She sure has a way of being optimistic.
I walked away from the conversation and especially away from her. She knows nothing about boundaries. She's so pushy. I just hope not too many people saw me like that.
I decided to avoid all people after that confrontation. When people went out to do their hobbies and hang out with everyone and do their own thing with parties and chilling out, I escaped to my room and hid in my bed. Mainly so I could feel bad about myself. I wanted to mope and be left alone in my own thoughts or dwell on all the negative. My relationship with my mother is terrible. My short lasting relationship with Dexter is now completely over. I have nothing going for me. And I miss my home. I wanted it back. I want all my friends to be together again and not be stuck on this weird foreign land where their logic doesn't really make sense to me. Perhaps being locked in a prison for years will do that to a person.
Hi! Just a reminder to don't forget to vote! Thank you for all your love and support! ❤️