It was time for us to go and we all knew it but the men after us wasn't about to let that happen. Soldiers stormed into the building from places I didn't even know they could get in.
We traveled up the stairs and to higher ground hoping to just sneak away but all it resulted in was giving us a view of Tess' lifeless body.
I couldn't help but think of the first time I saw one, really saw one up close and personal.
It's been two weeks since the mysterious Joel came into my life. He talks about moving on more and more but I always got this feeling in my stomach telling me I didn't want him to leave. He left an hour ago calming to get food but we both knew he wouldn't be back. But who could blame him he spoke as if he had a plan. Something I did not.
I was standing in the room upstairs when I heard the footsteps.
"Joel is that you?" I call out pulling my shirt on.
I roll my eyes when I don't get an answer Joel not very much into talking.
"Did you find anything out there?" I ask standing up and making my way into the hallway.
I walk down the steps but stop when I see a man I've never met before digging threw my stuff.
"What are you doing?" I ask making him spin around to face me.
The blood on his sleeve caught my eye first but the bite was what worried me.
"You need to leave." I say taking a step back, hoping to get to a knife in the kitchen.
I didn't know if he was dangerous or not.
He doesn't say anything only starts walking towards me. As soon as I make a move for the blade on the counter he charges me knocking me to the floor.
"Get off me!" I yell trying to push him off as he claws at me but it was no use.
He might have been bitten but his eyes were still human he knew what he was doing. When the front door bangs against the wall I jump looking to see Joel there. The man turns his attention on Joel him getting up to throw a punch.
Both men fell to the floor swinging at one another.
"Stop it!" I yell watching the man's fist slam into Joel's face.
It giving him the upperhand to start pounding on Joel.
I hear his pistol slid across the floor and I even hear it go off but I don't ever remember picking it up.
When the bang rings in my ears I watch as the man falls to the floor, blood pouring from his neck as he chokes and gags.
Realization of what I did hitting me like a load of bricks.
"I told him to stop." I say looking Joel his gaze falling on me.
"Why didn't he just stop?" I say my whole body shaking.
I jump when Joel lays his jacket over me covering my ripped shirt.
"You didn't have a choice." He says grabbing the gun in my hand it suddenly feeling like it weighs a ton.
"I didn't mean to." I said feeling hot tears running down my face as the gun is placed on the floor.
"Yeah I know." Joel says wiping my cheeks.
Shaking I sit in the same spot as Joel moves around the house collecting anything useful, him helping me to my feet and out the front door us leaving in a matter of minutes.
I push down that memory and follow Joel, Ellie right behind me. We slowly weave threw the building, taking out who we needed to. Which each body I got that nagging flicker of a memory in the back of my mind, it makes me not say a word until we were safe outside. That didn't last long us having to make a break for it to the subway nearby
"Spores." I say seeing the green cloud coming from up ahead.
Putting on my gas mask I step into the tainted air, Ellie pulling me down behind turned over vending machine.
"There's a soldier over there." She whispers his voice bouncing off the concrete walls.
"How the hell are you breathin' in this stuff?" Joel asks making me realize that Ellie wasn't wearing a mask and seemed fine.
A little winded from running but other then that she was fine.
"I wasn't lying to you." She says softly.
"Damn she's got my vote." I say Joel turning to look at me.
I couldn't see the glare because of the spores but I felt it. I shrug as a response.
"Let's go." He says starting his way through the subway.
We weaved our way through the rubble of the subway until we reached a large body of water.
"Hey umm can't swim remember." Ellie says making me look over at her.
"Well we don't have time to teach ya." Joel says our masks off the air clear here.
Joel lets out a deep sigh running his hand over his face.
"We'll figure something out." He says moving to get into the water and swim off into the darkness.
"Be careful." I say after him.
"Uh hu." He says a response.
He returns a short time later with a floating wooden pallet.
"Get on." He says gruffly.
"Umm is that gonna work?" She asks looking up at me.
"It should you don't weigh that much." I say smiling at her and helping her step on it.
"I gotcha." Joel says looking at her, then up at me.
"You coming?"
"Right behind you." I say sitting down on the edge of the turned over subway train and easing myself into the water.
It was deep, very deep. My legs only feeling emptiness under me. I tried not to think about what could be under us in the darkness as I followed Joel to the other side of the room. The water was cold and musty from sitting still for so long. I was just happy it wasn't slimy.
Ellie climbs off the pallet and onto the ledge it a bit to high or us to climb up to.
"I'll find something." She says quickly running off.
"Ellie!" I call after her worried she would get hurt.
"I'm okay, just grabbing-." She lets out a grunt then the sound of something dragging fills the air.
I tread water knowing I couldn't do it for long. I wasn't the best at swimming.
"Here ya go." Ellie says pushing the end of a medal ladder over the edge of the wall.
I push myself back along with Joel while she pushes it into the water it being over twelve feet. Lucky for us we were given a few feet sticking out of the water.
"I'll hold it." Ellie says holding the top of the ladder as we climbed out Joel waiting until I go first.
I shiver a bit when I get out of the water, it dark and cool in the subway station.
"Alright now where?" Ellie asks looking over at me.
"Find a way out, don't run into anyone." I say peeling off my flannel to ring it out leaving me in just a black tank top.
"Let's get outta here." Joel says his eyes meeting mine.
"After you." I say letting him lead the way.
The way out only being just around the corner light shining threw from the exit at the top of the steps.
I take in a deep breath once we reach the top and step out into the sunlight. Joel letting out a soft cough as he moves to sit down on a broken off piece of building.
"Hey, look.. About Tess... I um." Ellie starts making me turn to look at her.
I smile softly meeting her eyes.
"I don't even know where to-."
"Here's how this things gonna play out." Joel says interrupting her.
"You don't bring up Tess - Ever. Matter of fact let's just keep our past to yourselves."
"Joel-." I start.
"Secondly, don't tell anyone about your... condition." He says cutting me off, his eyes still on Ellie.
"They'll think your crazy or try to kill you and lastly you do what I say when I say it."
"We clear?" He asks, making me feel like I was back in school getting scolded and I wasn't even the one he was talking to.
"Sure." Ellie says looking down her hands on her hips.
"Repeat it." He barks out.
"What you say goes." Ellie says sighing her looking up at him.
"Good." He says pushing himself up.
"Now there's a town a few miles north of here. There's a fella there that owes me some favours... Good chance he could get us are car."
"Okay." Ellie says nodding.
"Let's getta move on." He says looking back at us and waving us along before he starts walking.
I follow behind him, walking next to Ellie I bumped her shoulder with mine.
"That was sweet, don't mind the grumpy bear." I say smiling at her.
"Thanks." She says smiling back.
"You're welcome." I say winking at her.
We walk on for a few hours me and Ellie chatting back and forth, about simple things. Her asking me what things were or us just point out shapes in the clouds. We ran into a couple of infected but nothing too hard to handle.
When it started to get dark Joel lead us to an abandoned house.
"This place should have an attic we'll be safe in there." He says going inside.
There was a runner in the kitchen it quickly rushing at me. Pulling the pan off the stove I swing at it knocking it to the floor. Jumping on it I stab it in the head.
"Whoa." Ellie says looking at me.
"All in the reflexes." I say smiling and standing up.
"That's a runner right?" She asks trying to learn what we call everything.
"Yes ma'am it is. So that means he hasn't been infected long so, we might find something if he was staying here." I say moving go threw the cabinets.
"You alright?" Joel asks coming into the kitchen blood on his face.
"Peachy." I say notting his tone. He was still mad.
"Speaking of look, peaches." Ellie says holding up two cans of them.
"Good job Ellie." I say smiling.
Joel lets out a huff and turns towards the steps.
"He's really mad at me huh?"
"He's grieving he'll get better." I say patting her shoulder and going after him.
"Joel." I call him, him pulling the ladder out of the roof in the upstairs hallway.
"What?" He asks not looking at me.
"Are you gonna treat her like that forever?" I ask him as he starts to climb.
"She's not gonna be with us forever, so no." He says opening the trap door.
Sighing I follow after him.
"She's fourteen, Joel she was just trying to help." I say pulling myself up into the attic behind him.
"Not you too." He mumbles turning on his flashlight.
I turn on mine letting us see that the place was full of junk but free of infected or humans.
"I'm not asking you to vent, I'm asking you to be nice, not treat-."
"Trish I don't wanna hear it." He says spinning to face me, making me jump.
"Your lucky you didn't get bit and here you are yapping at me about some kid I don't even want to deal with."
"Joel I get your upset but-."
"No you don't get anything! You never do, you go thru life with your head in the clouds like everything is cupcakes and rainbows and it aint! It's dangerous, your gonna get one of us killed."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask softly scared of the answer.
"Nothin'." He says moving deeper into the attic.
"No tell me." I say following after him.
"Do you blame me for Tess?" I ask touching his arm.
I feel my eyes water when he jerks away from me. Him never doing that before.
"You do don't you?"
"You should have stayed with them, with her. I would have been fine." He says clenching his jaw.
"I don't understand." I say a tear running down my cheek.
"Yeah, you never do. Now leave me alone." He says bending down and opening the chest at his feet.
Feeling like I was punched in the stomach I take a step and turn to head back down the ladder.
"I'm sorry." I looking at him, him not looking back.
I climb back down to see Ellie standing in the hallway a handful of cans. I feel guilt wash over me as I realize I left her alone. With nothing to defend herself with. Maybe Joel was right, I was dangerous.
"Are you okay?" She asks softly. Most likely scared I would snap at her.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm going to go block up the door." I say the first thing that comes to mind so I can go down stairs.
I take my time checking everything. It's not that I didn't think Ellie could find anything I just needed not to think about anything. I needed to stay busy.
There wasn't much to find, or rather nothing to find. Opening up the closet under the stairs I realize that someone must have been living here at some point.
There was some blankets and clothes. A lantern sat on the shelf. I turned it on seeing a backpack in the corner.
I crawled inside barely taking note of the door closing behind me. Sitting down I pulled the backpack to me and started digging through it.
I was right about the infected living here. I found a bottle of water, some bandages, rope and a can of food and some military rations.
Pulling a journal out of the bag I almost tossed it to the side but stopped. I didn't want to think about Joel or the disappointment he felt towards me or the loss of Tess or anything.
Leaning against the wall I opened it to the first page. I was shocked by the date it before the infected started rising.
The pages were full of talk of collage and his life. A girl who meant something to him, it finding the line of his friend or maybe more. I never found out though.
The pages turning into his day to day life in the new world. The got smaller as if he was trying to save room. I realized it was his way of keeping track of the days.
Them all turning into the same thing. Just two words.
I'm alive.
Pages of that but not the last one.
My felt my heart clench as I read the last page.
I got bit.
Even with just those three words, it's like I could feel the hopelessness he must have felt. Years of writing I'm alive to writing down that your not. That your gonna die. I feel tears run down my cheeks, thinking that's what Tess must have felt like. In the end she knew she was gonna die.
I jump when the door is jerked open Joel holding it.
"Joel you scared me!" I say holding my chest.
"Better than an infected why-." He cuts himself off and looks me up and down.
"What?" I ask reaching up to quickly brush the wetness of my cheeks.
"You need to come up stairs where it's safe." He says softly.
I nod and shove everything back in the backpack except the journal. I didn't want to read that again.
I crawl out of the closet, bringing the lantern with me as we both headed back upstairs. Neither one of us spoke as we made our way to the attic.
"Hey where did you go?" Ellie asks as Joel closes the door behind us.
"Just looking for stuff." I say joining her on the floor.
"Find anything good?"
"Take a look." I say handing her the backpack.
"We need to go to bed, so turn that off." Joel says walking past me.
He for once wasn't wearing his own pack. He strips off his outer flannel a T-shirt on under it. It already warm up here. It was gonna be a long night.
"Yes sir." Ellie says sarcastically, moving to her own little pallet in up against the wall.
Looking for my stuff I quickly spot it a few feet from Joel. My sleeping bag already rolled out for me.
Wondering who did it I move to sit on it. Joel was already laying down he's eyes closed. I barely think about pulling my T-shirt off leaving me in a tank top.
"Woah." Ellie says as I do it.
"Sorry, I can put it back on."
"No it's not that, what happened to your back?"
I glance over my shoulder an X branded into my left shoulder blade.
"That's not really bedtime story material." I say smiling at her hoping she got I didn't want to talk about it.
"Oh, okay. Sorry I asked."
"S'kay I'll tell you another time."
"Okay. Goodnight." She says laying down.
"Night kiddo." I say doing the same.
I close my eyes and try not to think, lucky for me I fell asleep quickly.