𝐈. WHITE LIES
Angela found no comfort tonight in the silk dress that stuck to her skin like a second skin, making her every move mesmerising and leaving her back nearly completely exposed. The diamond choker around her neck felt like a noose. A gift from her father, that had come soon after she'd informed him that she had managed to get around to finally going on a date with Oscar. The choker had come without a note, simply a price tag and a receipt. He didn't need to say much else.
There wasn't much else to be said.
She'd truly never imagined that she could ever dread the opportunity to dress up and look good, but she'd found herself dreading this day from the very moment that she'd made the date. Angela considered rescheduling and spending the night eating several tubs of ice cream in her very expensive dress, but she could only be sick so many times in a month before he began to question it. She would simply get to this date and get it over with.
Angela stepped in through the doors, her hand clutching a purse at her side as if her life depends on it. Her hair was pinned up neatly behind her. Standing at a table at the corner of the room with his handheld up to catch her attention was Oscar, his expression beaming. Her steps were measured and calculated.
"Hey. Wow, you look amazing." His eyes scanned over her from head to toe appreciatively, lingering on the curve of her hips in the dark dress before his eyes snapped back up to meet hers. His face appeared flushed. "You look great."
Angela found that it wasn't nearly as hard as she'd imagined finding a smile. The corners of her lips turned upwards at the compliment. She knew, of course, that she looked amazing. She hadn't spent literal hours getting ready to look anything else, but it was nice to receive a compliment as genuine as this. And if there was anything that Oscar was, it was genuine. "Thank you. You look amazing as well."
She stepped back to take a seat but before she could make a move, he was behind her, pulling her chair out with an easy motion. Her smile dropped. Angela muttered her appreciation to him under her breath. It was strange to her how quickly her attitude towards him could change. One moment she was commenting on how sweet he was and the next she couldn't stand the sight of him. Somehow the harder he tried, the more she withdrew, and she couldn't explain it.
"So what do you want to order? The duck salad looks good." Her features must have resembled something off disgust as Oscar scrambled to correct his words, visibly flustered. "Or, we don't have to have duck salad, o-of course. It's just that the last time that I was here, it was the thing that got here the fastest and I figured that you wouldn't, you know, want to wait. Unless you don't mind waiting."
Angela didn't mind waiting. Truthfully, that was the farthest thing from her mind. She didn't care about the duck salad, quite frankly. Something about this entire date simply, felt, off. There was no better way to explain it. She felt like a sleepwalker, moving numbly through this date. She was nodding where it felt appropriate and answering questions with single words. Angela didn't understand why it was so difficult for her to make a connection with him.
On paper, they worked well together. Oscar was older, by a few years and he was mature as well. He has his life together and he had a good job, which was more than she could say for herself and most people her age in fact. He was good looking. It was one of the first things that she'd noticed about him because she was superficial that way. He had soft brown eyes that often looked as if they were flecked with gold and shielded by long lashes. He was tall and lean and had a bone structure that was bound to draw eyes wherever he went. And odd as it was, he was kind and confident without being narcissistic which was the last thing she expected from somebody who looked like him.
On paper, he was very much her type. In theory, it didn't quite work that way.
But he was perfect, in every aspect. So, the problem had to be with her, didn't it?
Oscar was peering at her over his menu, his eyes searching. Only then did it dawn that she'd spaced out mid-conversation. She rearranged her features to form a smile, however, strained it might be. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Uh, I was wondering if you just wanted to start off with dessert or something instead?"
"Sure," she answered, her tone far too enthusiastic for such a simple question.
He waved a waiter over. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, he looked odd with his eyes wide open at her and his lips parted. Angela raised her brow at him, and he smiled, rearranging his features. "You know I really didn't think you'd be open to going on another date with me after the last one."
Their last date, he had accidentally spilt wine down her shirt, cutting their date in half. Angela hadn't been too upset about that seeing as it had been riddled awkward silences and stilted conversations. She nearly hadn't said yes again but then she'd remembered that when her father had set them up, he'd seemed rather hopeful that they would have a good time and very worried that she was lonely. He'd called her every day for a week straight before that because he was worried that she was isolating herself. Angela could handle another date, if only for her father.
"Honestly, I wasn't sure but then I figured, free food can never hurt." He stared at her with furrowed brows for a moment and Angela rushed to correct herself. She smiled a weak smile in his direction. "That was a joke."
Oscar laughed a little laugh that somewhere made his eyes brighter and made him even more attractive. "I know. I'm not that boring." She hoped she hadn't said that aloud. She's thought it through. "I know that'd what you were probably thinking and honestly, I don't blame you. I've been sitting here trying to think up something interesting to talk about."
"And..."
"And honestly, you're kind of intimidating." She raised her brow at him. "Okay, maybe I'm just intimidated. I mean, you're sitting there, and you look so good. Have I mentioned that you look great?"
She smiled. It was genuine, which took her by surprise.
"Because you look really great and no matter how charming whatever I come up with sounds in my head, it doesn't come out correctly. And you don't seem to like when I hold out your chair or offer to pick you up. And I'm kind of walking blind here because I feel like I know nothing about you but the less that I know, the more I want to know."
This all sounded very close to a confession of love. And it was sweet, so very syrupy sweet. Angela should have felt butterflies but all that she could find was dread, forming in the pits of her stomach and rising in a bubble to her throat.
"I'm sorry if that was a lot," he said.
Angela couldn't figure out what it was that made this so hard. It couldn't be Oscar because she was sure that at any other stage of her life, she would have been glad to meet a guy like him. Perhaps, despite the fact that she was worried about letting her dad down after he'd set them up, something about him setting her up was turning her away from him. Perhaps she wanted the freedom to date whomever she picked and not just the guy that he thought would be good for her. Perhaps it was the last lingering bits of teenage rebellion. Or maybe her father was right, and she'd closed herself off so much to the idea a relationship that she was pushing him away before he could get any closer. Whatever it was, she wasn't ready for this. Not in the slightest and she had to figure out a way to get herself out of this.
"No, it's not a lot at all. And you're great. Really great. I just, I feel like I've made a mistake." His face fell instantly. "I'm in love with somebody else."
The words left her lips without a thought. As she said them, she felt an overwhelming shock wash over her. It wasn't true. Not in the slightest. She was as single as it got, and she hadn't had a real relationship in a while. And yet, of the two evils, one being; breaking his heart for reasons that she didn't even know when he was staring at her with big eyes, innocent as he looked and the other being; telling a simple harmless lie, Angela thought that this was the lesser evil.
"I'm really sorry. I'm just, coming off a really long relationship and I thought it would be easier to move on, but I can't. I'm so sorry."
His expression was stunned. He sat frozen in his seat; his sad eyes only shocked now. Oscar blinked slowly. "Wow."
"I'm really sorry."
And just for the record, that at least was true.
"Nothing to be sorry about. You can't help your feelings, can you? And there's not really much I can do to change your mind."
Angela shook her head at him. She felt lighter somehow. It was as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders somehow. She smiled at him, although she felt guilty at having lied to him. But he didn't know that, and he didn't even have to know. No harm, no foul.
And they hadn't even gotten to the first course. She guessed she would have time for ice cream after all.