You ever thought about doing something wrong, yet the thought felt right? Those have been a collection of my thoughts for the past week, pacing back and forth mentally to try and justify my sneaky and morally questioning behavior. Let me start from the beginning, my boyfriend and I have been off and on for the past 5 years, I'm so in love, blah blah blah. The thing is, I don't know when it happened, but the spark has dissipated into thin air. I love him so much, but also everything he does annoys me /so/ much, I don't even know how to begin to explain it. One night, my girlfriend and I were having a 'much needed girls' night in', I like to call them 'adult rejuvenation' to still maintain my dignity as a grown up.
While sipping on wine and dishing out the statuses of our current relationships, jobs, and overall wellbeing, my bestie since high school, Amanda, mentioned a few dating sites she'd been experimenting on, shock was written all over my face as my jaws dropped. "What?" Her words rolled off her tongue in a 'I feel judged' kind of way. "Don't act like you've never thought about skimming through your options. There are like a million hot guys on that site." She went on to add. "Pft. Me? A dating site?" I roll my eyes to emphasize how ridiculous her assumption sounded. "I prefer to meet people the old-fashioned way, you know that." I bring my glass to my mouth to collect a sip of it's contents, but her words were marinating in my head and I hated that.
Why am I actually contemplating this silly idea? /I/ have a boyfriend, which I know my friends and family aren't too fond of, but even considering all factors of our relationship, I could never hurt someone in that way, let alone a man whom I've spend such a significant amount of my life with. "Anyways.." I trail off, circling fingertips around the rim of my glass, hoping to steer the conversation elsewhere. Amanda shot me a pointed look as if she could damn near read my mind, a sigh passes through her almost pursed lips. "I'm sorry, but you can do better." She states, shamelessly. "Yeah, well when you've been with a person for so long, they kind of become a part of you." And, he was a part of me, even through the tears, the pain, the anger, the fights, the confusion, I still felt incomplete when away from him, like a part of me were missing. "But, I don't expect you to understand that."
My words come off cold, I know that now that they've exited my mouth. "Mm, okay." My friend mumbles almost in defeat and I inwardly expell a sigh of relief. Thank God that's over. A few nights have passed since my friend and I hung out, I find my stare fixated on a shut laptop at the foot of my bed. Her words echoed throughout my head "Don't act like you've never thought about skimming through your options". I have. Trust me, I have, but I've never nor did I think I'd ever have the balls to actually act on it. Fingers curl around my laptop, luring the device into my lap, I search in the google engine dating sites until one that catches my eye pops up. My boyfriend works graveyard, 12-12. It gets lonely, but the time away from him isn't so bad, and it gives me time to do things that I shouldn't which is...bad. Or maybe I'm overthinking this, I don't know. Brain, please turn off. Digits click the profile of a "Brian Welks", he's tanned skin, hazel eyes, if I had to guess, I'd say about 6"2, perfectly shaped pink lips that aren't too small nor too big, just the sight of them make me wonder too many perverted things.
My palm hovers over the mouse for a few seconds before I click the message option on the site. "Hi." As the words appear as sent on the screen, I almost cringe at the awkward casual vibe of my first response. In my defense, I haven't been single for five years, what the hell do I know about flirting? I haven't flirted with my boyfriend since the beginning of our relationship, and now that I've come to that realization, it's actually quite sad. A ding rings out from my laptop, indicating a response has been typed. Green hues find the screen, reading "Hi, let's fuck". I was apalled. Is this really how guys pick up on girls nowadays? If that's the case then I'm glad to be romantically unavailable to this modern society of horn dogs. I went on to reply, "Forward. I like that." Honestly, I can't even take this site seriously, I now understand why people go on here either to cheat or have one night stands. "Send me the address?" I read over the contents of the message, teeth claiming lower lip in thought, gaze traveling over my empty bedroom.
Well, he would never know. How could he? Unless I made some rookie mistake and left his shit behind, which let's be honest only stupid people do that crap and wonder why they got caught. "Will do." I insert a smirk emoji to emphasize how serious I am, but the only person I'm truly trying to convince is myself. "Send me the address and I'll be there as soon as I can." Once my address is successfully sent, eyes scan the message and a knot of nervousness develops in my stomach. Fuck. Of course, there are a millions ways for this to blow up in my face, but the aching down below seemed to protest to my morale. I mean, people do this all of time. We live in a hook-up culture, I see it everywhere and I'd be lying if I said it never came to mind to act on it before. And, now I'm pacing back in forth in my living room, attempting to justify sneaky acts that anyone with a conscious would run far away from.
A knock is delivered to the front door and I jump, I think my heart is skipping several beats at this point as my palm curls around the doorknob, allowing myself a deep calming breath, I open the door to reveal this tall man. Muscles. Check. Nice facial structure. Check. Good looking. Oh my god, check. Wow. His skin is a light brown to match with his hazel eyes, he has a nice shiny smile which he is directing at me and I don't know if I feel like passing out from nervousness of getting caught or just pure lust. "H-Hi." I choke out after what seemed like hours of drooling over him. A hearty laugh expelled from those perfect, luscious lips that I feel like kissing now and he's yet to even enter my house.
"I thought I'd come in, but I have no problem bending you over in front of all of your neighbors." My face displays confusion, but then I catch on, and I like it, I do, good looking and a sense of humor. Holy God. I force a laugh, because it's supposed to be fucking funny. Lighten up, will you? A smile curls his lips upwards as he extends his arms to warp around my frame, guiding both of us inside my place, kicking the door closed with the heel of his foot. I can tell this isn't the first time that he's done something like this, just by the calmness that he radiates, it's a relief that he's trying to ease me back to being comfortable, due to my nerves fucking jumping. "Relax." He cooed, long digits squeezing my sides gently, leading me to my sofa, the male pushed me on the couch softly, my eyes never left his, they almost bored into him.
I sat down and observed him peel the shirt from his built and tone body, gulping harshly, because this was really happening. The taller male spread my legs apart upon kneeling down to level with them, thumb now circling my clothed center, a hushed moan fell from my lips as my head tilted back on the couch, ready to allow this sexy stranger to do whatever he desires to me. I feel strong hands begin to rid me of my jean shorts, not even bothering to unbutton nor unzip, the man was ready to get down to business, which is great, who even knows when my boyfriend will get back, if I had to guess I'd say about 5 hours, and why am I thinking about this when my underwear is literally lying God knows where.
His tongue flicked my erect clit and a surprised gasp emerges from my mouth. "Fuck!" I utter, a little louder than I had initially expected to, causing a chuckle to depart from his lips, sending a vibration on my throbbing nub, only serving to add to the pleasure I was already currently experiencing. His tongue lapped at the bundle of nerves, making me squirm underneath his mouth, both his hands clutched at my lower body to still me, and fuck, did I find that hot. Yes, restrain me, I love a man who knows how and when to take control.
His tongue probed at my entrance, I just wanted him to replace his tongue with his cock, at that point. "Yes." I purred, tongue rolling over my dry lips, shooting my arm down to rest fingers in his abundance of brown locks. "Please.." I have no idea why I whisper those words, I think it's the pleasure mixed with the desire for him to fuck the shit out of me. His head whips up so fast, it causes my eyes to lock with his immediately. "Please, what?" And, there is a demanding note to his tone, almost as if he wants me to beg him to be fucked. His eyes never linger from mine as his finger dances on my thigh momentarily before slipping into my center, delivering a few pumps to my pussy, but stopping and not moving his fingers, waiting for me to crumble.
I feel my eyes roll in the back of my head from the movements. It wasn't just the fingering that pushed me, it's his demeanor, he makes you want to submit, and I'm not sure I ever even felt that when my boyfriend and I were intimate. "Please.." I breathe out in between a few moans escaping my parted lips. I could give him what he wants, but where is the fun in that? His brow quirks up as if he is waiting on me to crumble, awaiting that one word that gives him power over me. After, a few seconds, he proceeds to pump his finger in and out of my drooling pussy, deciding to add another one to torture me further. "Oh my God.." I scream out, immediately clasping my hand over my mouth, because fuck, I don't need my neighbors hearing me, especially since this isn't even the guy they're used to seeing me leave and come back with.
My pussy clenched over his fingers so painfully, it hurt so good to be on the edge and stay there for a prolonger period of time, I savored every entrance and exit of his lithe digits, hoping to feel this the next day. My opposed hand now gripped the edge of my sofa, eyes shut on their own accord, lips pressed into thin lines in hopes to quiet my urge to express how great my pussy felt in that moment. "Say it!" This time his voice was louder, his fingers growing increasingly more relentless with each thrust. Both of my hands go to cover my face, because a shade of red now flushed over my face, in the efforts of keeping quiet and not giving in to his demand. A smirk crept over his face and I caught it as my hands moved from my face, I wanted to see exactly what he was doing to me.
Leaning down, the light-skinned male, took my throbbing nub in between his lips, suckling the hardened flesh as his fingers started to match the same rhythm as his mouth. My pussy was screaming with the need to be filled, juices dripped down his face and the sight was almost enough to make me melt underneath him. "Mmmm" He moaned out, slurpy sounds of him devouring me filled the small space of my living room. "P-l-lease." I stuttered out and it felt good to say, because I just needed him to finish me off already, but he wasn't satisfied. His head lifted in response to my plead. "Sorry, what?" He feigned a look of confusion, a smirk threatening to reveal itself.
What an asshole. His fingers showed no sign of stopping, even as he watched me stumble over my words. I swallowed before forcing the word out once again. "Please." You could hear the need and want in my voice, in traditional circumstances I'd be self-conscious on how quickly I caved, but all that mattered was now, this moment. With no other words exchanged, the male stood up, I allowed him to position me the way he wanted, which was doggy style. How predictable. The position where you couldn't see each other's face, no one can see your sex faces, actually, I like it, it's not too personable.
Silence presented itself for a few seconds and I braced myself for his entry, knowing I was just moments away to reaching climax made me anxious and relieved. His cock begin to stretch me, it shocked me, because I never could have guessed he was that big, come to think of it, I never even physically saw it. A throaty moan escaped my mouth as I felt my pussy muscles welcome his cock. He waited a few moments before moving, giving me a little time to adjust to his size, which I appreciated, my boyfriend is nowhere near the length. Then, it happened, he began to move his hips slowly at a steady pace, fingers curled around my waist to better control my movements. My fingers gripped the couch as my frame laid, slumped over the top of the couch. "You like that?" His words were grunted out as he focused on his thrusts, sinking nails into my waist. "Yes." I moaned out my words quietly, biting into my lower lip.
"Say it louder." He forced out in between groans, his hips picking up in pace, causing his thrusts to be harsher, the action distracted me, making my pussy gush with more juices, the liquid began to trickle down my thighs. "I didn't hear you.." A hand wrapped my hair and pulled me back so that our heads were levelled. Both of my arms fell to my sides as I felt my pussy being pounded, it was so hard to obey his orders and concentrate on the immense amount of pleasure I was experiencing, but he wouldn't give up. "I love how you fuck my pussy." I purred out in a seductive tone, hoping that would be enough for him to be satisfied. Sure enough, he released me to slump back over the couch. His hands now grasping my waist once again, mercilessly thrusting into my drooling core, cries and pants were now falling from my lips with no containment. I was in fucking heaven and sensory overload.
Every time I thought I hit my peak wetness, he would thrust so hard that I would lose any train of thought I had. "I'm so close." I cry out upon burying my face into the couch, clenching the cushions. "Cum for me, baby." His hand winds around me to reach my aching clit, forming circular motions around it with his thumb and pointer finger, proceeding to thrust in a fast rhythm. "I'm cumming!" And, there was no way that statement could have been quiet, it took everything in me not to be even louder than it had come out. I'm guessing the contractions of my pussy muscles pushed him over the edge right along with me, because he pulled out abruptly and all I could feel were spurts of a hot liquid fall over my back.
I became limp over the couch, eyes shut, attempting to regain control of my uneven breathing, chest heaved up and down uncontrollably. I couldn't form a word at that point, even if I tried. "Wow." He spoke in disbelief, observing the work he'd done all over my back. "I guess it'd been awhile." He simply said as he stood up and fetch his shirt to snug back around his body. "Um.." His words came out awkwardly. "Should we cuddle?" He inquired, brows raised in question as he sat beside me.
I realized in that moment, i hadn't moved since he finished. "Um.." I moved to sit up straight, bending down to put my underwear back on. "I'd prefer if we didn't?" And, awkwardly that came out as a question. "Right." He responded, but he seemed offended. That was the last thing, I wanted, but I didn't go on a dating site to find love. "It's just that, I had different intentions than most do when going on a dating site." I explained, hoping it wouldn't come out wrong. "Good." He beamed in relief. "So, we can skip the awkward depart, then?" He asked as he kept eye contact with me.
"Definitely." I stood up and he followed suit as I guided him to my front door. "I had a good time." He smiled at me and leaned down for a brief peck on my lip, I didn't reciprocate. "So did I." Was all I uttered as I opened the door. "Have a good day." He whispered upon retreating back to his car, I closed the door back and waited for the guilty feeling to set in, but it never did. To this day, my boyfriend has no idea.