Amaru Jones
-
I kept my head hung low, it's the only thing I could do while I occupied the backseat. All around me I could hear guns clicking as we prepared for war in an effort to get back Saint and Aaron.
Moses' daughters safety would be in my hands for the time being. It'd be my task to make sure she was safe and that was what I was afraid would happen.
I briefly glanced at my boyfriend, he had no idea what was about to happen. All I could do was sigh lightly and shake my head at how naive he was.
I'd protected Josh from a lot of stuff, we robbed drug dealers but things had never escalated to how far it could've gone.
Dealing with Alex in my youth I'd heard stories and seen first hand and one thing I knew for sure was that this wasn't for me.
Josh just hadn't figured that out yet for himself. The thought of all of this made me want to vomit.
Alex was dead, Aaron might be dead and I was out here alone trying to be something that I was not.
"You gonna frown the whole time? We'll be in and out - it's simple" Josh tried to assure me as he placed his arm around my neck and kissed my cheek with a sloppy kiss.
I shut my eyes tight and forced a weak smile as I gave a simple head nod.
"You're right" I replied hoarsely as he nuzzled against me a little and then sat back in his seat.
His grip on me loosened and I slowly glanced over at Kaine who held a track phone to his ear and spoke in a very low tone.
Sounded like he was preparing a giant cleanup and was trying to get everything in order.
As he ended the call he turned his head slightly and made eye contact with me for awhile. I assumed he'd speak but he didn't, he just sat back in his seat and continued to stare.
"What?" I questioned growing slightly uncomfortable and Angelo who was driving adjusted the rear view mirror to get a better look of the back.
"The next time I look at you, you probably gonna be dead" He said as he shook his head.
"Kaine!" Malik scolded but he only smiled at his older brother in return.
"You know how many people we seen die? I swore I wouldn't come back for none of this shit and here I am" he said as he shook his head like he was embarrassed.
"You left the game when you were on top. All of this could've been avoided you know that right? You had the game on lock" Josh said and Kaine glanced over at him.
"I couldn't of avoided shit. Aaron made his choice following behind Moses' dumb ass. Not everybody wanna live they life getting into shootouts and watching they people die. I chose my kids over this shit" Kaine scolded.
Moses who sat near Josh remained silent and got this real crazy look in his eye.
"You know who we should've brought?" Angelo questioned cutting in and changing the subject.
"Johan" Kaine and Malik both answered at the same time and Angelo nodded.
"I fucking miss my brother man, I hate being stuck with y'all" Angelo complained like a child. Kaine mumbled something under his breath before his eyes settled on me.
He glanced from me to Josh before he relaxed back in his seat and subtly shook his head as we went over a speed bump.
Josh attempted to touch me again but I subtly moved out of his grasp. I know it was bad to start having a wake up call during a crisis, but none of this felt right.
"I wanna get out of the car" I said causing Malik to do a double take. Everyone looked at me while the car continued to drive and so I repeated myself.
"Nigga what? We gave you time to back out, you not going nowhere" Angelo said bluntly and Kaine shifted.
"Let him out of the car. We would only be setting him up to die if his hearts not in it. Let him make this choice" Malik said as he instructed Angelo to pull over.
"Make this quick" Moses said without looking at me. A gun lay rested in his lap and he didn't bother to make eye contact.
"Keep driving, he can still be of some use even if he not going inside" Kaine replied. I didn't bother looking over at Josh when I knew the next words that would come out of my mouth.
"When this is over, I wanna be single. I don't see a future with us, I needed somebody to latch on to but now I know it's time to stand on my own and be a man" I replied bluntly.
"Nigga now?!" Josh snapped at me while everyone pretended to mind their business and ignore what was going on and yet still trying to be nosy.
I felt a sharp pain as Josh's elbow made contact with my rib cage and then he smacked me upside of the head.
"Let me out this bitch before I kill this nigga with friendly fire" He requested as I caught his arm before he could elbow me in the head.
"I'm a stop this car one fucking time and if all who wanna get out don't leave - that's they ass!" Angelo snapped before he pulled over at a gas station.
Josh glanced at me like he was expecting me to say something but I remained silent, knowing we wouldn't be friends or cool after this.
As soon as he got out he slammed the door shut and Angelo pulled off again as Kaine answered a call on his track phone.
"You just saved his life, you know that right" Malik said as I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded my head. Aaron's brother/daddy rested his hand on my shoulder for reassurance.
"It had to be done. He was annoying me anyway" I muttered feeling a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. Maybe my drug counselor was right, every now and then some of the shit he said to me stuck.
Sometimes I pretended like I wasn't listening but I was. I had to stop making excuses or I wouldn't be here in the next five years.
"I don't mean to interrupt whatever soap opera shit you got going on bruh, but we don't even have a full proof plan" Angelo said keeping his eyes on the road.
"We gonna split up and go in and grab these dumb asses and the baby. May the toughest survive" Kaine replied.
Aaron's associate Gucci who we left back at the beach house seemed to have made the wise decision to stay out of this shit. He supplied us with the guns and then headed to the beach to mind his business and pray.
"Lo, you're gonna stick with Moses and Kaine. I'll go with Amaru and we'll take it from there" Malik said with a shrug.
Once that was settled we drove the rest of the way in silence. Every few minutes I heard a gun click and the fear slowly started to shrink.
Maybe because if I had to work with Malik I wouldn't have to fear accidentally being shot in the back and maybe I'd live long enough and be able to turn my life around.
Angelo drove for what felt like forever before he pulled off and under an overpass. Before the car could stop all of the way Moses got out of the car and nearly stumbled onto the ground.
"Alright dumb ass, don't get your foot ran over" Angelo said shaking his head as the car completely stopped.
"You got one more time to call me a dumb ass, nigga!" Moses snapped out of nowhere and Angelo paused for a moment before he hopped out of the car with it still running.
"Lo" Malik said following him out of the car while Kaine and I remained where we were and watched Angelo shove Moses as hard as he could, sending him to the ground.
"I'm a keep calling you a dumb ass because this is your fault! All of this shit is your fault, because you don't listen. I thought that I was making a good choice by considering leaving my business to you, but every day you prove how ain't shit you are. None of this should be happening right now!" Angelo yelled at him.
Moses went to stand up but tumbled back down to the ground obviously a bit intoxicated from the drinking he had done earlier.
"Look at this shit! He about to fuck up some more stuff because he can't hold his fucking liquor" Angelo said throwing his hands up.
"You talk a lot of shit for a nigga with a fucked up grill" Moses said as he started to raise up again. Malik grabbed Angelo before he could run back up on Moses and Kaine and I got out of the car.
I looked down at Moses watching him struggle for awhile before he remained on his knees and stared at the ground.
"I'm gonna shoot him in the fucking head if he start crying. Somebody better get this nigga" Angelo said as Malik pushed him away from Moses, who didn't cry but remained where he was just staring.
I slowly walked over to him and extended me hand to help him up but he pretended like he didn't see it.
"I'm a kill myself if anyone dies" He said as he turned his head and looked at me being more serious than I had ever saw him.
"Nobody is gonna die. We're so close to getting them back and you doing this" I said and he looked back down.
"Because i'm selfish. I get it from my father, he wasn't as much of a punk but I took after him in more ways than I would like to think" Moses admitted.
"Moses, don't do this. Now isn't the time to fall apart - they need you. I'm dead weight and if you start acting like this somebody will die. You have to pull it together" I said before Kaine shoved me to the side and snatched him up by his shirt.
Moses adverted his gaze as Kaine threw him up against the car and look him over with complete disgust.
"I'm only here to save my brother and his friend, I don't give a fuck about nothing else going on and I promise you I don't care about saving your daughter. You need to man up or i'll let James keep her and you will never see my brother again" Kaine said through clenched teeth.
Moses scrunched his face up like he was trying to pull himself together and not cry. He began to nod his head while sniffling and Kaine let go of him.
"You got 5 minutes to get your shit together nigga and I mean it. Nobody is about to coddle you" Kaine said through clenched teeth.
I watched him walk over and began speaking with Angelo and Malik while I glanced back at Moses who was taking a few deep breaths.
"Maybe the drug game ain't for either of us" I said and he took a hard swallow and stood up straight once he heard his phone ringing from the car.
"Shut the fuck up" He replied as he yanked open the car door and I raised an eyebrow wondering what I did to deserve the hostility.
Moses looked at the phone before he answered it and cleared his throat a few time to clear the inner bitch inside of him away.
"Rowan" He said and once Malik noticed he was on the phone he began walking over toward us and snatched the phone from Moses placing it on speaker.
"Aaron's here, he's in bad shape. Saint and Sienna are okay, but I overheard my dad talking and it doesn't sound good" She said and the sound of a baby's loud cries made Moses shut his eyes.
"Just get us inside, we're close and we can handle the rest" Moses said sounding more confident than he did before.
She sounded like she was hesitant but agreed anyway and said she'd call back in a few minutes when there was a good enough opening for us.
"You trust her?" Malik questioned Moses and he shook his head no but ultimately remained quiet as he brushed at his eyes and walked off clutching his phone.
-
Fifteen minutes later, we had all split up into our groups. Malik and I took the back way of this huge ass warehouse that looked like a toy factory.
I was almost positive it was a toy factory of some sort that doubled into a drug operation so it's cover wouldn't be blown and that had to of been kinda fucked up.
Imagine you go and buy your kid an action figure and when they open it a baggie of crack falls out, because it was misplaced on accident. How you suppose to explain that shit?
"Are you focused?" Malik questioned roughly nudging me with his shoulder and I snapped out of my thoughts and stopped trying to make sense of the situation.
We both eyed a dozen guards that were loitering around the back while we did our best to stay hidden.
Malik lifted up a gun with a scope on it and I moved away from him and remained low. I plugged my ears when he pulled the trigger hitting a tall man in the neck.
blood sprayed the guy he was standing next to and everyone grew shocked as if they weren't use to this shit.
Malik quickly moved the gun and fired again shooting a woman in the back causing some of the men to turn on each other.
Malik shot four more of them before he looked over at me and extended the gun towards me wanting me to take it.
"I don't know what i'm doing. I'll accidentally shoot myself with this" I try and tell him as he armed himself with two handguns.
"Either you take this and watch my back or you run up on the remaining ones out there. We gotta get closer" Malik said sounding calm.
Before I could tell him no for the second time he'd already moved away from our hiding spot remaining low as he ran behind a parked van.
"Malik!" I whisper yelled at him but he pretended like he didn't hear me and kept looking for a good opening to the back doors.
My hands shook as I lowered my head so I could see through the scope. I tried to hover my finger over the trigger and aim but my shaking caused me to press down a little to hard on the trigger.
One of the windows was shot out in the building and an alarm went off almost immediately and I didn't bother looking over at Malik because I knew the look he was probably giving me.
He stood up coming out of his hiding place once some of the security caught on to where the shooting was coming from and he began opening fire on them.
I tried to follow with the scope but everyone kept moving and it was making it hard to pick them off.
"Drop the gun!" Malik yelled at me and I did as told remaining ducked down as I crawled over to him.
More security had come out of the building and nobody knew who was shooting or targeting at who anymore because of all of the people moving around.
"Blend in, stay away from James and you should be able to slip under the radar. He don't know who I am" Malik said bluntly as we discreetly moved into the chaos and passed it.
When we slipped inside there was a long hallway and two sets of staircases, one leading down and the other one leading up.
"How the fuck we suppose to find the baby?" I whispered and Malik roughly elbowed me in the chest as security went passed us and out the door we'd just came through.
Malik waked towards the staircase leading down and I quickly followed him struggling to keep up with the steps. The lower we got the darker it was and I couldn't help but to keep looking over my shoulder expecting the boogy man to be there.
"What y'all doing down here? The drugs are upstairs" A man said as he and a woman stood look out in front of a door at the bottom of the stairs.
"James asked us to go help the guards guarding some baby. Nobody gave clear instructions" I said quickly.
The man looked me over as he stepped closer and out of the corner of my eye I saw Malik reaching for his gun on the low.
"Must be because the alarm went off" The man said as he nodded believing my story and the woman looked unsure but I could tell since he was in charge she wouldn't question him.
She kept her eyes on us, specifically me and walked slowly while I watched her out of the corner of my eye.
I tried to subtly get Malik's attention but he was watching the man - like he was going to be more of a threat to us.
"You said they sent you down here. Who is they?" The woman questioned as the man opened up the large door leading to more of the building.
Her hand moved to her gun but I drew first and shot her in the head. Before her partner could react Malik grabbed him in a choke hold and turned him towards me so I could grab the gun hanging out of his waistband.
"Look at you being useful" Malik said to me as the man eventually stopped struggling and let sleep take over him.
Malik dropped his body and it hit the floor with a loud thud as I stepped over him. There was two sides of the hallway and I already knew he was going to do the shit dumb ass white people do in scary movies.
"We gotta split up, we can't risk somebody coming out of a room down here and catching us off guard" Malik said slapping my back before heading towards the left side.
"What if I die?" I questioned nervously and he gave a simple shrug like that wasn't gonna be his problem.
At this point it was fuck all of them, I didn't deserve this shit. All I wanted to do was be a good person and maybe suck a lil dick on the side every now and again.
I gripped the gun in my hand tightly and pushed open the first door that I saw. The room was mostly empty with a blood mattress on the ground.
The room smelled like straight up ass and rotting flesh. I had to cover my nose to keep from vomiting as I glanced over my shoulder at Malik who was looking in a different room down the hall.
I kicked another door open and a man was chained to a chair with his throat slit and a blind fold over his eyes.
"What type of saw shit is this?" I muttered under my breath. I went to open another door and heard loud baby cries coming from further down the hallway.
Malik nodded for me to keep going while he kept checking the rooms down the hallway and I took a deep breath and walked down.
I reached for the door when I realized it was locked. The cries got louder and I took a step back and shot the door knob twice before moving as someone shot through the door.
The lock broke and I nudged it open wider with my foot as Malik crept down towards me.
"There's a baby in here!" A man yelled and I carefully peeked into the room and looked seeing a woman was sitting on a mattress holding Moses' daughter who was snot nose crying while another man stood in the room with a gun.
"We just want the baby" Malik said staying out of sight and I noticed the woman squeeze Sienna tighter and her cries got even louder.
"Well she not going nowhere" The man said shooting towards where I was peeking and I quickly ducked back as the bullet hit the wall where my head once was.
"How many?" Malik questioned and I held up 2 fingers as he nodded and kicked the door open all of the way and quickly shot the man who'd shot at me in the arm.
When the gun dropped Malik went further into the room and kicked the gun away from him, while the woman holding Sienna stood up.
"This is James' granddaughter, you're as good as dead. You know that?" She questioned as she backed into a corner.
"Damn, that's crazy. Now give me the baby" I said raising the gun up and her stupid ass is gonna hold the baby up like a shield.
Moses' daughter truly deserved better, if this shit didn't make him wanna leave the game than he was a fucked up and twisted person to keep subjecting her to this.
I thought about shooting the woman but I wasn't sure if i'd be able to catch Sienna right away if she dropped her. But then again the woman wasn't that tall and Sienna might be alright.
"Just give us the baby and I won't mess with you. She's all i'm here for and you're making this shit more difficult than need be.
I looked over at Malik for assistance but he had snatched up the man he had shot and was holding him at gun point as they walked out of the room.
This wasn't the plan, this wasn't what the fuck we came here for and I wasn't good under this type of pressure at all.
I patted my pockets with my free hand and the woman watched me closely but when I didn't hear the xanax pill bottle rattle my heart dropped.
"I'm not good with pressure" I said shaking my head as I weighed my options and tried to think all the while Sienna screamed her head off.
I blinked before shooting the woman in the stomach and she stumbled backwards into the wall like an idiot.
Sienna started to slip from her grasp and I ran and grabbed the 10 month old before the woman could drop her.
The baby's diaper was soaking wet and made my hand moist just by holding her. I shot the woman again, killing her before I preceded to bounce Sienna to hush her cries.
"You gotta be quiet or they'll find us and kill me and I know you don't want me to die right?" I asked and she looked at me and screamed louder.
I frowned and slowly walked to the opening of the door and peaked out for a sign of Malik as the alarm was finally shut off.
But instead there was few men walking down the hallway with guns out and Malik was no longer in the hallway.
I glanced at Sienna and backed into the room pushing the door closed with my foot quietly and her cries began to soothe.
"Listen, I know your father hates me, but please stop crying. I'm begging you lil baby" I said moving towards the wall as I looked around the room that didn't have a window.
I covered Sienna's eyes when she started to look down at the dead lady on the ground and she rested her head on my chest, obviously tired from all the crying she'd done.
A series of gunshots began to rang out from the hallway and my heart stopped as I Sienna began crying again and pulling at her ears.
The door flew open and I lifted the gun up and shot without even looking only to realize it was Malik and he stumbled back and grabbed his shoulder.
"You fucking shot me" He said regaining his balance as he looked at the wound in shock.
"You left me alone with a crying baby! I told you I panic under pressure!" I yelled at him as he continued to stare at the wound in shock.
"I found Saint and just took care of them niggas in the hallway and you shot me" He repeated and he laughed in disbelief as he turned and went the way he came.
I quickly ran after him with Sienna and he led me to a room where Saint was handcuffed to a chair.
Somebody had handcuffed his wrist to the leg of a chair and his other wrist to a bedpost leaving his body turned awkwardly. His head hung low practically in his lap and he slowly looked up at us.
Whoever did that shit to him clearly had some type of kink, none of that looked natural and he was going to have some back pain for awhile.
"Yo, are you both gonna save me or leave me to suffer like this? " Saint questioned weakly. Malik kept holding his shoulder as he walked over to Saint.
"Put her down on that mattress over there and help me. Only got one good arm right now" Malik said shaking his head.
I looked at the dirty mattress and then at Sienna before sighing and opting to sit her on the floor instead as I went over to help Saint.
"Deejay chained me up like this, he looked out for Ron and I a little bit" Saint explained as I broke the leg of the chair freeing him a little bit so he could sit up.
"This place is packed, how the fuck we suppose to get out of here and with a baby?" Saint questioned once he noticed Sienna on the ground watching us.
Knowing my luck we was all about to die, ain't no telling where the others were at or if we should leave without them.
Moses McKinley
-
I walked ahead of Kaine and Angelo as a side door flew open and Rowan appeared. She had a look on her face like she was about to be sick.
"He's going to kill me if he finds out I did this" She said sounding scared and unsure for the first time since i'd met her.
"Well, death ain't that bad" Kaine muttered going passed her as he bumped into her shoulder roughly. Angelo silently apologized to her which shocked me as he followed behind his cousin.
A loud blaring alarm began to go off causing everyone to freeze for a moment. I looked at Rowan wondering if this was part of her distraction but her eyes only widened and she shook her head.
"I had nothing to do with that" She whispered as I hurried inside and shut the heavy door behind myself.
"Follow me!" Rowan called as she took off running down a long hallway. This place was huge and was starting to feel like a maze at this point.
"You sure we can trust her?" Lo questioned me and I found myself shrugging as I reluctantly followed Rowan.
She hadn't given me a reason to not trust her and so it was the only option there was. I glanced over my shoulder to see if Angelo and Kaine were following me but they were nowhere to be found.
"So they gonna do me like that?" I said under my breath as I caught up to Rowan who nervously looked back at me and then at the door.
"Aaron's in there" She pointed towards the door and I waited for her to open it but she remained where she was and fidgeted nervously.
I pulled one of the guns out of my waistband and pointed at her before gesturing towards the door wanting her to open it but she simply shook her head.
"Open the door Rowan" I said as I glanced over my shoulder briefly to make sure we were still alone. The loud alarms made it hard to think and made the stakes seem higher than they should've been.
"I can't" She said and I felt my heart drop. I was praying she wasn't setting me up and I wouldn't have to go in there and find out Aaron was gone.
I clicked the gun and she moved her hand to the doorknob but the door was snatched open before she could twist it.
I shot the armed man that grabbed her and he shot back at me as I stepped back and moved to the side not having anywhere for cover.
"Don't kill him yet" I heard James say as I was grabbed from behind at gunpoint. I didn't put up a fight as I stared at Rowan with cold eyes
I wasn't as angry as I should've been though, I needed to know if Aaron was in the room and if he was - I was exactly where I needed to be.
I kept my gun in my hand and James watched me closely while the four men he had in the room pointed their guns on me.
I paused when I saw one of Aaron's Adidas slides laying across the room and then I noticed Deejay squatting down over a body.
I went to move towards them but the man standing behind me pressed his gun into my lower back like that was going to scare me.
"Shoot me. I'll be able to take you with me wherever I may end up" I said boldly causing James to bust out laughing like something was so funny.
"You know, your friend tried to help you out. I'm disappointed in the both of you and the fact that one of you was suppose to take over once I stepped down, makes the fact that you're both going to die here today even worse" James said shaking his head.
I glanced at Deejay who finally looked at my and I noticed the busted lip he sported. He shifted his body revealing he was holding a rag to Aaron's face but I couldn't see where the bleeding was coming from.
"I don't care what happens to me. Just let him go and i'll take whatever you have planned for me like a man" I said through gritted teeth.
"You'd have to be a man to take something like a man in the first place. You're not a man Moses, you're a New York rat!" He yelled at me.
I blinked still feeling the gun pressed into my back as I held my head high and nodded my head in agreement.
"I fucked things up by going to the police, but this has nothing to do with Aaron. Please-" I began before I stopped myself seeing he wouldn't be changing his mind.
"I expected more from you because I knew your father was a semi legend in the game, but you clearly weren't built for this" He said as I subtly made eye contact with Deejay.
He gave me a subtle head nod signaling he had my back and that was all I really needed in this moment.
Deejay shot first, he shot the man holding me at gun point causing the gun to go off. I was able to move in enough time and the bullet only grazed me instead, ripping my shirt in the process.
If Kaine and Angelo wanted to make an appearance now would've been the perfect time but they were still nowhere to be found.
The guards formed some type of wall around James so he wouldn't be hit as I shot one of them in the chest watching as he fell back.
It was hard to even focus when I realized Aaron wasn't even moving, like he couldn't hear the shooting that was going on around us.
"Moses!" Deejay yelled at me as I caught a bullet to the chest and ducked out of the room quickly.
I slowly looked down at the wound before coughing out blood. I tried to stay on my feet and go back to help Deejay but I couldn't tell where in my chest i'd been hit.
I tried to suck up the burning sensation I felt but when I went to step forward I felt someone grab me and sling me back into the wall.
I looked over at Angelo who looked me over with disgust before I saw Kaine had Rowan at gunpoint and at least six other men that worked with Angelo with them.
Kaine kept his grip on Rowan's hair as he entered the room and Angelo kept his gun pointed out covering his cousin.
"Hold your fire!" I hear James yelled and I slowly moved from my spot and followed Angelo back inside while gripping my chest.
Deejay had taken cover behind a desk and peeked out at us. I noticed Ron had moved slightly but he was still laying in the same position on his side.
"Daddy please" Rowan cried while Kaine kept his gun to her head. Angelo nodded towards Aaron and I slowly moved across the room feeling the tension.
"You think I give a fuck whether she lives or dies? I'm not going to prison for nobody!" James yelled at Kaine.
"Moses broke street code, I know that but this ain't got shit to do with my brother" Kaine replied as I dropped down to my knees and looked at Aaron.
"You're gonna be okay Ron" I whispered and he opened his eyes and looked at me. He looked like he was done with life and was just awaiting on what came next.
"I'm in too much pain to move" He said as he spoke through his bloody lips. I touched his shoulder and he raised his hand up to my chest where i'd been shot.
I heard a gun shot go off and looked up watching Kaine drop Rowan's lifeless body on the ground. Kaine took a step back falling to the ground himself revealing that James had shot through his daughter.
Aaron slowly raised up using the last bit of his strength as Angelo and the men he'd come with began shooting wildly.
"Leave Ron" I ordered as he moved across the floor towards Kaine who was clutching his stomach and backing into the hallway.
I went to shoot once I had an opening on James but realized I the gun had jammed. Deejay noticed too and slid a gun across the floor to me as Angelo took cover near him.
I shot one of James' guards before he could shoot Kaine only giving James the opportunity to shoot me again in the chest.
My body fell forward and I dropped the gun in my hand. I coughed out more blood and instinctively grabbed my chest and gasped.
I tried to call Aaron's name but no words would come out as he finally made it over to Kaine. Angelo eventually saw what I saw and when he had an opening he was able to shoot James in the neck, but it was too late.
I watched in horror as James shot Aaron in the left side of the back of his head and he immediately stopped moving.
The shooting stopped as James fell backwards and then I could hear my daughters loud crying that pierced the room.
"What the fuck?" I heard Amaru say as I was roughly grabbed and flipped over. I looked at Deejay as he pressed down on my shirt but I could feel the blood coming out of my mouth and dripping down the side of my face.
I tried to turn my head to look at Aaron but Deejay turned my head so I couldn't see him and I couldn't make sure he was okay.
"He's good" Deejay tried to assure as he struggled to help me sit up but from Kaine's cries and Angelo calling his name over and over - I knew he was lying to me.
"Let me die...I wan- I wanna be with Ron" I gargled as Deejay turned my head to the side so I wouldn't choke to death on my own blood.
I was roughly grabbed up and judging by the dreads in my face I knew it was Saint and he and Deejay helped carried me out of the room.
My head drooped backwards a little bit and I caught a brief look at Ron noticing there was a hole and lots of blood coming from where his eye was as Malik cried and tried to tend to his head.
-
I was out of it for a week straight and drifted in and out of consciousness, it was like i'd fall asleep thinking it was a nap and wake up two days later with a nurse tending to me.
I was suppose to be lucky to be alive, but I didn't feel lucky. I didn't really feel anything, just numb and like I didn't want to be on this earth anymore.
When the tubes were removed from me and I was out of the clear, that's when things started to click and I was able to remember what had happened.
There was a knock on my hospital door and when I looked up Angelo stood in the doorway with my brother Michael.
I didn't look at either of them long before I turned back and stared straight ahead listening to my heart monitor beep.
"You lucky to be alive" Michael said as I took a hard painful swallow and still didn't bother trying to meet his gaze.
"Where is Ron, why is nobody answering my questions?" I asked feeling myself growing weak. It was like the more I asked, everyone would beat around the bush even more.
"Because we didn't know if he was okay, you needed to focus on yourself. you flat lined twice" Angelo said sternly and I turned my head further away as they both stepped into the room.
"Where is Ron? Just tell me, I can take it" I said feeling tears start to form in my eyes as I took a deep shaky breath.
"He's alive, he's on a different floor but he's not okay" Angelo said simply and I finally turned and met his gaze.
"He's not Ron anymore?" I questioned as a tear drop slipped down my cheek and Angelo pulled up a chair and sat down.
"They're going to move him to a different hospital to be treated. His eye is gone now" Angelo said bluntly and I stared at him in disbelief.
"His eye?" I repeated still not understanding fully as Michael placed his hand on my shoulder for comfort and I was tempted to pull out of his grasp.
Angelo pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of Aaron laying in a hospital bed with a bandage over his left eye while his family stood around him.
"Because of the choices he made, he gotta live with this for the rest of his life. If this don't make you wanna leave then I don't know what to tell you" Angelo tried to preach.
"Says the man who stayed in the game after watching people closest to him die for years. You should be the last person trying to preach to my about anything" I said through gritted teeth.
"Bruv, you nearly died" Michael said lowering his voice as Angelo and I continued to glare at each other.
"If you stay nobody is going to risk their life for you again. Kaine only came back for Ron and he got shot, he has a family to take care of. You couldn't even kill James - that was me" Angelo said as he stood up.
"Don't expect me to kiss your ass now, because I won't. Everybody made their choices, yeah?" I said and he looked me over before walking out of the room leaving my brother and I alone.
"Sienna is with my wife. What are you gonna do when you get out of this?" He asked and I placed my hand on my chest.
"I couldn't save her. She's better off without me - I gotta reputation as a snitch and James is dead. They're going to come after me hard" I said.
"That's why you leave. I heard Aaron's brothers talking, they moving him out of New York for good" Michael informed me.
"Aaron lost an eye, behind some shit that was meant for me. How am I suppose to look him in his face after that? I don't even wanna see him - it should've been me" I said through gritted teeth.
"I don't think I ever heard you say something so selfish. It's not about you, the man lost his eye and i'm positive he'd want you to be there for him. He was always there for you, always" Michael said.
I remained silent and Michael shook his head and left out of the hospital room in anger so we didn't argue.
Hours passed and eventually I asked my nurse if I could visit Aaron. Part of me was hoping that she would say I wasn't in the best shape and say I wasn't ready yet.
But once she was able to track down what room he was in she and a male nurse got me out of the bed. She said it'd be good for me to leave the room even if it was for a little while as I carefully sat down in a wheel chair.
They took me on an elevator and as we were getting off, one of the first people I saw was Kaine who wore a white shirt. I could see a bandage wrapped around his waist through the shirt but he still held his daughter on his hip as they headed for the elevator.
He didn't acknowledge me and I didn't think he would or even really expect him too. When they brought me to Aaron's room I struggled a bit but stood up on my own.
Malik was sitting at his bed side holding his hand and speaking to him quietly. The right side of his head was bandaged up like in the picture Angelo showed me and when I walked into his room Malik glanced at me.
"I'll be back in 20 minutes" my nurse assured as she helped me to a chair closest to his bed and gave my shoulder a rub.
I nodded and she left out and soon Malik did the same leaving us alone.
"So you're not leaving?" Aaron asked as he looked at the TV that was displaying Dragon Ball Z.
"James is dead, I gotta make shit right. I can't just walk away like this" I said and he swallowed hard.
"Look at what happened to us. My eye is fucked up and you almost died" Aaron said calmly - like he was tired.
"I'm sorry. If I could change what happened-" I began but he chuckled weakly.
"But you can't. Just like you can't have both so it's me or the drug business" Aaron said.
I stared at him for awhile and reached out to touch his hand but he pulled it back away from me.
"I don't have very much of anything Ron. I know what I did wrong and I can fix it" I said.
"I know I need mental help, but so do you. You wanna go back after this shit happened to us and you don't think there's anything wrong with that? You don't think the next time will be the last time, huh?!" Aaron yelled at me.
I sat back in my seat noticing the tear brimming in his eye and I felt like he was forcing himself not to look at me. He remained staring straight ahead and his lips were trembling showing his hurt.
"I'm leaving New York, with or without you and I promise I'm never coming back. I need a fresh start" He cried.
"I would never ask you to stay and hold me down, I'm in love with you Ron but I'm bad for you" I said as he clutched the blanket on the hospital bed.
"Give me my ring back and get out" he said subtly ending things with us.
"Aaron" I began when I felt someone touch my shoulder and I looked at Saint who had entered the room and nodded for me to go.
I peeked out of the room and gestured for my nurse who was standing in the hallway talking with another nurse.
When she saw me she came in to help me back into the wheelchair and I looked at Ron one last time.
"How you feeling one eyed willy?" Amaru questioned Aaron as he walked passed me as I was leaving out.
I was giving up everything for this, maybe it was my pride or the fact that I didn't feel like I deserved better.
But I still felt like I had something to prove and the only way I could move forward is if I did that alone, without Aaron.
I wasn't going to hold him back anymore or keep popping up into his life, when I knew I wasn't going to change or do better.
I was going to stand on my own two feet and finish what I started, and he deserved better, as did my daughter and the rest of my family.
It was like an addiction and I wouldn't give it up until I took my last breath.
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Authors Note
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I know it's been awhile! The only thing I can truly say is..mental health is sooo important honestly and everyone needs to take care of it at some point.
The epilogue is up next and I'm so excited for y'all to read book two (soooo many old faces are popping up because of the new setting). I was writing that while I was going through some stuff and it truly brought me peace.
I absolutely prefer it to this book (there's so much growth for everyone!) and a lot of healing.
Anyway, ya know the drill.. Comment & Vote!