Umalis si Ali kagaya nang gusto ko. The wretched look on his face made me so conflicted. It almost made me chase after him and leave Atticus behind but... I couldn't. I feel responsible over Atticus.
Ali will understand. Atticus is still his brother after all. He knows I can't easily abandon Atticus. He's in a fragile state right now. Natatakot ako na maghanap na naman siya ng gulo o hindi kaya ay maaksidente na naman. Ali knows that I really didn't want him to leave. I was just worried about Atticus.
Atticus was still sitting on the ground while I was crouched beside him. His eyes were closed. Habang tumatagal ay bumibigat na siya.
Oh no. Don't tell me he passed out?
"What the fuck?"
I lifted my eyes and found Dashiel's agitated face. I looked at him with hope that he came to my rescue. "D-Dash, help me please."
He scowled and rushed his way to our direction. He crouched down and held Atticus' shoulder.
"Hoy, gago." Tinapik niya ang pisngi ni Atticus at inalog pa nang bahagya ang braso nito. Nang hindi magising ay inangat niya ang tingin sa akin. "Anong nangyari?"
"N-Nakita niya kami ni Ali," I told him.
His forehead creased. "Where is he then?"
"I made him leave," I answered in a small voice.
"Why?" Mas lalong nalukot ang mukha ni Dashiel nang itanong. Napakagat ako sa labi ko at hindi makuhang sumagot agad.
"I hope you're not compromising your happiness just for this selfish dumbass," Dashiel exclaimed. "He may be my friend but you're my cousin and you don't owe him shit."
Maybe it's the alcohol that made me too sensitive. Tears filled my eyes but it never escaped. "I feel guilty, Dashiel. I'm his friend and Ali is his brother. I don't want him hurt."
"Your fatal flaw, Hyon, is that you're too nice for your own good." He heavily sighed. "Iniiwasan mong masaktan si Atticus. How about your boyfriend then?"
I breathed in sharply. Agad na umusbong ang takot sa dibdib ko. "H-He said he's okay with it."
"Just because he said he's okay with it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." Dashiel shrugged.
The idea of hurting Ali makes me wanna hurl. Hurting him never crossed my mind because I know he'd understand. Ali will always understand... but Dashiel's right. He might understand but that doesn't mean it's not secretly hurting him.
He shook his head and placed Atticus' arm over his shoulder. "Let's bring Atticus to my car."
I sniffed and nodded. I quickly stood up to assist him in carrying Atticus because his weight is no joke.
"I fucking knew I'd babysit again," he grunted. Using one hand, he got his car key from his pocket. "Here."
I accepted the key that he handed over. Inayos niya ang pagkakaakbay kay Atticus. Umalalay naman ako para hindi siya mahirapan.
"Just text your friends and inform them that we're leaving," utos ni Dashiel habang inaayos si Atticus sa backseat.
Wala sa sariling tumango ako. I idly reached for my phone in my pocket but instead of opening the message application, I dialled Ali's number. My heart was loudly pounding against my chest. What if he's mad at me? What if he doesn't answer? I don't remember feeling this terrified before.
It took seven rings before Ali finally answered the call.
"Hello," bati ko. Hindi siya sumagot. Napahinga ako nang malalim para humugot ng lakas ng loob. "Uhm. Nasaan ka?"
Hindi pa rin nagsalita si Ali. I feel like I'm shrinking more and more as the silence prolonged. Is this called the silent treatment?
"Can I come to you?" I asked in a tiny and hesitant voice.
Ali didn't answer inmediately. It was after a few seconds when he let out a heavy sigh. "In my car. I'm just a few cars away from where your cousin parked his."
Para akong nabuhayan ng loob sa naging sagot niya. My head turned left and right, searching the cars nearby for his. I failed to see his car from here.
"Okay. I'll be there," I stated and ended the call. I brought my attention back to my cousin who just got up from fixing Atticus at the backseat. "Dashiel, hindi na ako sasabay."
He scanned me from head to toe, as if trying to thoroughly check something. As soon as he was done, he nodded. "Text me when you get home."
Isinara niya ang pinto ng backseat at umikot para sumakay sa driver's seat. I waited for him to leave first before going on to my search for Ali's car.
It wasn't hard to find. He was just six cars away from where Dashiel's car was previously parked. The windscreen was tinted that it's hard to see him from the outside. Kabisado ko ang plate number niya kaya sigurado akong sa kanya 'yon.
A bit nervous, I fixed my hair before opening the car door. He didn't glance at me as I entered his car and closed the door. One hand was tightly holding the steering wheel. His face was dark and I got a perfect view of his clamped jaw.
I cleared my throat to ease my nerves. "Atticus passed out. Si Dashiel na ang maghahatid sa kanya."
Still not a single word or sound from him. My tears brimmed my eyes once again. I bit my lip. "Are you mad at me?"
Ali breathed sharply, as if my question repulsed him. "You asked me to leave." He snapped his head towards my direction.
His jaw was taut. I could see the darkness in his unforgiving eyes. Seeing his chocolate brown eyes instantly made me want to apologize.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. Hindi pa rin siya nagsalita. I was back to shrinking. Mas malala dahil nasa harap ko siya ngayon. "Please don't ignore me."
"Hearing you say it was my personal hell, Hyon. It's like seeing my fears come into life."
Napakagat ako sa labi nang magsalita na si Ali. I can hear the hurt in his voice. It was so new to me. Ali turned his head and I saw his slightly red eyes were glistening with frustration and anguish. "Baby, how can you ask me to leave so easily?"
My heart right now felt like it's being squeezed and trapped by four walls. I breathed in. The tears that have been threatening to fall decided to roll down.
"I'm trying my best to be patient. I know I should be more understanding... but baby, I'm not a fucking saint and I'm possessive when it comes to you," Ali admitted, gazing at every in of my face. He bit his lip.
"Damn it. I can't even be completely mad at you because I know you're just doing it 'cos you care for my brother when I wish you'd only care for me."
Pakiramdam ko ay ang tagal niyang tinago ang mga ito sa dibdib niya. He bottled it up and now it exploded.
"Ali..." I called.
He looked away as if he was too ashamed to maintain eye contact with me. "Forgive me for the rants, baby. I just really have it fucking bad for you."
I bit my lip. Para akong nalulunod sa mga sinabi niya. Hindi ako makahinga. I was hurt and happy at the same time. My insides are messed up.
I licked my lips, staring intently at Ali who was looking anywhere but me. "I have it bad for you, too, Ali."
"Really?" He looked at me with a scathing look. His eyes looked harsh but his touch was soft as he held my cheek and wiped my tears with his thumb. "How can ask me to leave then? Hm?"
I sniffed and I can feel the hot tears that were replacing the ones he wiped away. His face was blurred to me because of the tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry."
He continued staring at my face. His eyes left a burning sensation on where it grazes. His eyes dropped to my mouth. His tongue swiped his lips as his thumb brushed mine.
He's just brushing my lips with his thumb and I already feel strange inside. Mas nalalasing pa ako sa ginagawa niya kaysa sa alak na ininom ko kanina. What is he doing to me? I was starting to breathe fast. What is happening to me?
I was waiting for him to lean down and kiss me but it never happened. I pouted in disappointment. Loud pounds coming from my heart were deafening to my ears as I lifted myself and took it on my own to kiss him.
Mababaw lang ang halik na 'yon dahil umatras siya nang kaonti. Konti lang naman. Magkalapit pa rin ang mga labi namin.
"I'm still mad at you," Ali huskily said.
I licked my lips. I couldn't think of anything else. My eyes were set on his mouth. I closed my eyes and raised myself to plant another kiss on his mouth again. He didn't back away this time. He just stayed still and let me kiss him.
Napangiti ako at ipagpatuloy ang paghalik sa kanya. I felt courageous and bold. Maybe it's the effect of the alcohol?
My hand flew to his shoulder and gripped on it. I angled my head so I can deepen the kiss. I confidently slipped my tongue and used it to part his lips. My blood hummed when he gave in and opened it.
I explored his mouth with my tongue. His lips were sweet. I wanted to taste more so I did. I sucked his lip and I think I sucked it too hard 'cos Ali groaned.
Surprised, I planned to pull away but Ali surprised me when his hand held the back of my head and attacked me with deeper kisses.
The movement of his lips were rough and wild. It's like something snapped within him and he stopped holding back.
His tongue plunged in my mouth and I responded by brushing my tongue with his. My body warmed when he sucked my tongue. His other hand found my hip. Bumaba rin ang kamay na nasa ulo ko.
Natagpuan ko na lang ang sarili ko na buhat ni Ali patungo sa driver's seat. I don't know how he did it. I was still too drunk from his kisses. He captured my lips again, making me forget that I was straddling him in his car.
His hand brushed the hair off my face as he kissed me senseless. His other hand went down to my chest. Ali's lips moved to my jaw and then sensually showered kisses on my neck. A small moan came out of my lips when he squeezed my breast, his thumb brushing the center. My hips rolled by reflex and another strange yet pleasurable sensation hit me.
"Fuck," Ali grunted against my neck.
Wanting to reach that feeling again, I moved my hips. My core brushed something hard underneath. I was successful and I felt what I was looking for. I mewled again. It feels so good. What is this?
"Fuck, baby... We need to slow down," Ali hissed.
"Huh? Why?" I asked, my mind was muddled.
"Shit." Ali fused our lips together again. He used his other hand to knead my breast. I rolled my hips and felt the thick bulge underneath. He grunted and broke the kiss again. He was heavily breathing. "This isn't the right place."
Gusto kong maiyak sa frustration. I don't understand myself. Pakiramdam ko ay bitin ako at hindi ko alam kung bakit. I feel like my skin is burning.
"Oh, damn. My innocent baby is..." He bit his lip and groaned. He closed his eyes as if in pain before opening it again. "Are you drunk, Hyon?"
Kumunot ang noo ko pero sa huli ay tumango sa kanya. "I'm drunk with your kisses, Ali."
Ali grunted and chuckled at the same time. His eyes were sleepy as his hand cupped my cheek and guided my face down to drown me with his kisses again.
His hands flew to my waist as he lifted me and guided me back to the passenger's seat. Parang alipin na sumunod na lang ang katawan ko. Ali was keeping me preoccupied with his kisses to even care.
His hand brushed my chest again. His lips nipped my lip before transferring to my jaw. Ali's hand travelled lower and I gasped when he slipped it inside my skort. His fingers brushed the center of my... and my knees shook at the sensation, the same blissful feeling that I had when I was straddling him.
"A-Ali..." I shakingly called as he sucked a bit of my neck.
"You want this, my baby?" Ali whispered.
I bit my lip at how... sexy he sounded. My eyes closed and I jolted when his fingers began to rub circles against me. "W-What are you doing?"
"I'm gonna make you feel good," he said and brought his mouth back to mine. The circulat motion of his fingers started to speed up.
I gasped in between our kisses but he never stopped kissing me. Instead, his kisses became more demanding and savage.
I gripped on Ali's arm as he continued playing me with his fingers. My hips were staring to buck and I felt something building up. It was too much... too good.
Something clicked and ecstacy filled my brain and body. I broke away from the kiss and a sensual moan came out of me, but it felt too good to stop myself. My nail dug on Ali's arm as he continue with his motion while I ride out the wave of pleasure that washed over me.
Tumigil na ang paggalaw ng daliri ni Ali. Inalis niya 'yon sa skort ko at matapos ay nilapatan pa ang mga labi ko ng malalalim na halik bago tumigil at pinagdikit ang mga noo namin.
"Better?" Ali asked in a heady voice.
I bit my lip. Is he referring to the frustration that I was feeling earlier? Parang iyon nga ang tinutukoy niya dahil wala na ang pagkabitin na nararamdaman ko.
Tumango ako. Ngayong tapos na ay hindi ko na mapigilan ang pagkaramdam ng hiya.
Ngumiti si Ali at matapos ay hinila ako para yakapin. He pressed a kiss on my head and breathed in. "I'm sorry. It's not the right place... but you make it so hard to resist you."
Niyakap ko siya pabalik. Hinigpitan ko pa. He smells so good. Kabisado ko na ang amoy niya pero hindi pa rin ako nagsasawa. My nerves were slowly calming down. Bumabalik na rin sa tamang wisyo ang utak ko.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," I murmured.
"It's not your fault," he assured me and pulled me closer. "Just please don't make me leave again."
Tumango ako at ngayon pa lang ay nakaramdam na ako ng pangungulila nang maisip ang pagpunta namin ng France ngayong summer. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you, too," he gravely uttered. He broke the hug, leaving us with a few inches of distance between us. His gaze nearly melted me as it cast upon my face at this proximity. "Come home to me fast."
I smiled and nodded. "I will."