Donghae’s POV
The Super Junior and I continued what was planned for the day. Together we went to the zoo, made memories, took lots of pictures, and had a good time. It was really a good day, guess it was because it started great…
I can’t believe it’s Dara who woke me up today. I have dreams of it happening but I didn’t expect that it really would. And soon.
It was perfect. I really felt happy and my heart was completely at ease. Now I really want to wake up to that scene every morning for the rest of my life.
I want the moment when I opened my eyes, I saw her looking fondly at me. And that it’s only me she’s seeing. I want that moment when she swept her hands to my hair, how it drove my heart crazy. I felt like pulling her in and embrace her tightly and lay there forever.
Last night, together with my difficulty in sleeping came my troubles about Dara’s crying. I admit, I thought about it a lot. Technically my friend mode was just a cover up, I was acting fine but deep inside I was greatly hurt.
And I know she has sensed that, that’s why she’s apologizing earlier. But I’m not really upset about the fact that she still cries about him, I was just wondering why she still does. And what will it take for her to stop thinking about him or how will my selfish wish be able to come true.
With that, I couldn't help not to think of a number of what if’s again.
What if she never moves on?
What if until the end, it’s GD all along?
What if this week is just a gift from the heaven as my final week with her?
What if my New Year’s wish is long done?
I only did just wish that this year I wish I’d get a chance with her…
Maybe that chance was just about becoming a close friend, and not more than that.
No… I’m just being pessimistic. I will not give up. I will not let her go.
UGGGHHH
Sometimes I really hate myself for thinking too much. For worrying too much. And for discouraging myself.
I'm beginning to get tired of it really.
Together with everything that's going on... I admit I'm a little exhausted…
The angst is slowly draining all of my energy
I want it to end soon.
But how? And when?
“I know what’s the problem…“
“Huh?” I woke up back to my senses and looks at the person who said those words.
“I know the problem why your relationship with Dara isn’t working well” Siwon says, taking a sip of his champagne and a seat near me.
We’re now on the cruise. The others are fishing, having a karaoke time and doing a photoshoot; Leaving Eunhyuk, Siwon and I alone in the lounge, enjoying some snacks and champagne.
“You’re too much of a nice guy…” He continued. “Doesn’t she always say she tends to fall in love with bad guys more?”
Well, yeah I read about that a couple of times in articles. And I somewhat believe it, it’s not that I’m saying GD is a bad guy, but look at how the things that happened between them, despite their quarrels, problems, Kiko… she still yearns for him.
I fear if that’s really what’s holding her back. Is it because I’m a nice guy? Is that it makes her see that I’m only a friend type? Does that what make me less attractive to her?
“So what do you suggest me of doing?”
“Try giving her a cold shoulder… Ignore her” Siwon continues. “She might woo you…”
“Ah mwoya, why would I do that?” it’s ridiculous. Why would I be mad at her? I thought. It would only make her feel bad and guilty, and it will eventually make me feel worse aswell.
“Try it! You never know!” they encouraged. “Act as if you’re mad at her, don’t you think she would be curious why then chase you around?”
“No. I won’t do that to trick her” I said. “Look. Dara and I are fine… You just don’t see it because it’s embarrassing when you’re all watching. But we’re doing well, I assure you.”
“Are you telling us that you two are doing great if it’s just the two of you?” Eunhyuk asks.
“Somehow yeah” I revealed.
“Then why don’t you guys go on a little trip together? Just the two of you?” Eunhyuk suggested, eating a platter of fruits. “Like in a remote island. That way it’s away from us, away from worries etc. It’s only you and her”
“Yeah right. Like that would ever happen…”
“Why not? All you have to do is ask for our help”
Help? What do they have in mind? Are they thinking of something like bringing us in a remote island alone?
I shook my head and waved my hands in disapproval, It’s too troublesome and risky. And what are the chances that CL would approve? And our manager. And Dara…
The two hisses in disappointment and sighs. “No wonder why your relationship doesn’t progress, you’re too safe”
“For once be a little intense, bold, and greedy please, and you’ll be surprise things are better”
I felt frustrated by their words. Indeed. If there's anyone who I can blame right now, it's me... Because it's me who chooses not to make a move. It's me who's letting the chances pass by without grabbing it. It's me who chooses to be and act as a friend.
It's me who's a scaredy cat, and was too safe.
The time that our trip finished and went back to the resort was around dinner time, we already had our meal on the cruise. And when we arrived, we heard that 2NE1 was having dinner in one of the cobanna restaurants near the beach side.
Despite having brunch with them earlier, these guys still won’t stop on wanting to spend time with them. Now I come to realize how much they really want to be close with them, well it’s the only time they get the chance to anyway after that number of years of being idols and promoting together.
Upon going there, the girls are having deserts ( ice cream ) to which made the guys crave for some too. They went to the table of desserts to grab their own, while I stayed at 2NE1’s table. Siwon sits next to Bom and starts a conversation with her.
“Aren’t you going to get your ice cream, oppa?” CL asks me.
“Nahh… I’m good thank you” I smiled with my hand resting on my stomach, indicating how I’ve already eaten a lot.
I tapped my hand on Minzy next and asks Dara’s where abouts.
Apparently, she wasn’t here.
“She’s at the back, getting some fresh air”
With CL looking at me I wore a crooked smile.
And excused myself.
* * * *
Normal POV
“Hmmm… You’re thinking again” Donghae said once he has reached the wooden deck where Dara is at. He walks quietly towards her.
“Bet I can guess what it’s about”
“If you’re going to say Jiyong, then you’re wrong” Dara says, still looking down to the water below.
“Jiyong??? Ani...” he says – but yes he thinks it’s about GD – then he sighs. “My guess was you’re thinking how cold the water might be”
Dara looks at him weirdly while he stands and leans on the rails, meters apart from her.
“Liar” she says.
He grins in guilt. “Mian…”
Behind the place where they’re having dinner, there’s a dock people can walk over. A great place to get fresh air; Although there are no torches or lights near, the place is still well lit because of the bright moon and the stars above.... plus add the sound of the quiet waves rushing. It was very calming.
There are railings around the deck, except for the end of it (it's where people can dive/jump to the water from)
“How was your day?” Dara says, still looking down below.
“It was a little hot… But it was fun” Donghae says stretching his arms. “I suppose I have to thank you for waking me up, I could’ve missed that trip”
“Tch” she clicks her tongue but was smiling. “If you stop worrying and thinking about stuffs too much then you could’ve slept early and woke up easily”
“Yeah I guess so…” He sighs looking away. “But sometimes I can’t help it…”
“Because you’re stubborn…”
“Like you're not?” he smiles a little.
A few minutes after, he turns his head at her, his eyes turned big and in surprise.
“Ya… you might fall” He warned as he sees her sit on the narrow railing.
“No I won’t”… She smiles. “And even if I did, you would be there to catch me, right?”
“Yes” he says in reply with a bit of strain. “But it doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to sit around like that”
“Why? It’s not like I’ll really fa---whaaaa!!!” She wents out of balance and almost fell over backwards.
Fortunately Donghae was swift to pull her back and hold her to his arms.
“Aish chincha, what did I tell you…” He says, with his arms wrapped around her waist. He was standing between her thighs, and leaning close to her. She was still sitting on the rail, with his hands supporting her back. "See... you're so stubborn too..."
Her arms were resting on his shoulders and her head bowed down. “He he he” she laughs awkwardly but truthfully, she really got scared.
“Tch. You got scared didn’t you?” Donghae asked, lifting his head up to see her face, wearing a mischievous smirk.
She nodded, and forces a smile. “A little…”
“But somehow I knew you’d catch me…”
“Pshh… What if I didn’t?”
“I will punch you” Dara mumbled with a little pout, pressing her curled fist softly to his face (like punching him).
Donghae smiled taking her hand down and placing it back to the back of his neck. “No need for that. Of course I will…”
“Always…”
Dara’s heart throbs hearing those sweet words all soothing and cheesy. And by the fact that they’re in this situation. They’re so close with hands and arms on each other. Donghae was feeling the same.
How did they come to this really? Earlier they were acting differently... and now it escalated to this.
Dara takes a huge gulp on her throat.
"Sure?...” she says lowly and her voice shaking.
He nodded slowly.
Dara’s smile faded and she took a deep breath. “Then how about now?”
Now? Donghae looks at her in wondering of what she meant.
No words were said in those few minutes. Their gazes are just locked at each other.
He stares at Dara’s deep round and bright eyes that just melts him inside.
While she looks at Donghae’s cute and gentle-looking eyes that whenever she stares at them feels like she’s out of breath.
He felt her hands sweep to caress his face. At the same time, his body responded to wrapping his arms over her a little tighter and leaning more closely to her.
She closes her eyes then leans down to his face, planting a kiss on his lips.
Chu~*
She stayed like that for 5 seconds or more then pulls back and rested her forehead to his, leaving their faces only inches apart.
Donghae was stunned, his lips left open, breath was out of rhythm, he kept staring at her, waiting for her to say a word. His brain is slowly processing what just happened. He’s confused. He didn’t know what to say. But his heart sure is insane.
Still with her eyes closed, she whispers.
“I’m falling for you, Hae…”
Donghae’s ears ringed as he heard those words coming from her. Such powerful and magical words that made everything around them all disappear. It made him swallow a huge one and his breathing was on hold.
“So please don’t think I only think about Ji…”
She mumbled.
“Please don’t think I don’t think about you…”
“I do… All the time…”
“So please don’t feel hurt because of me…”
“Please don’t worry too much…”
“And please don’t ever get tired of me…Please...”
One side of Donghae's face twitched upward as he chuckles and he takes another itsy bitsy step closer to her, and tightens his embrace.
“Silly girl… why will I get tired?” he whispered softly. “I love you…”
He grabs on her lips once again.
“…so much”
Just like the first time they kissed, the same warmth was felt.
If that time Dara wasn’t able to retun the fervor, now she was giving it her all.
Donghae was slightly surprised how good she is at it, how slightly aggressive she is. But he equally puts his heart and soul in every kisses he takes on her.
One of his hand crawled from her waist up to her face, cupping it as he deepens his kiss.
There was nothing else going inside their minds at that time except for the thought of how much they love each other.
And how this moment feels so passionate.
Their heads moves on their own. Mouths opening and closing at will. Both hearts on fire.
They can’t say it’s the first time they have kissed someone deeply like this, for they’ve been both in good relationship with others before, but the overwhelming feeling was definitely a first.
It’s like finally getting what they wanted to get for a very long time.
They felt a bit of desperation. A thirst.
Hae, stop, stop… Control yourself. Donghae thinks to himself. He wants to make things right, he wants to take things slow, he fears that it offends or scares her. But he can’t. He can’t stop. If his feelings are expressed through these kisses then he will never stop.
With such intense moment, one can’t help not to be a little touchy. Donghae’s hand that was holding her back was starting to get inside her shirt, he sweeps his hand on her side then to her back again, taking a feel of her soft skin.
However it was Dara who was taking the lead on lifting Donghae’s shirt up.
Their hands left each others bodies for a while, and so was their kissing has been on pause… as Donghae’s shirt was to be taken off over his head.
As Dara pulls it, “KYAAAAAAK!!!!” a scream and sound of water splashing came after.
“Dara!!!!!!!!!”
Donghae yelled, and jumped over to the water after.
He swam to save her, knowing she’s not much of a swimmer. Dara clings to him, gasping for air. She pulled the shirt too strongly that got her a little off balance from her place and falls over backward down to the water below.
“Are you okay?” He says, holding on to her tight. She nodded several times. “Eh~ you’re so clumsy” He says with his face leaning on one side of hers.
“I’m sorry…” she laughs, while brushing his hair up with her hands to clear out his bangs that are blocking his sight.
“Told you I’d catch you” he says also sweeping her hair to back of her ears.
Dara looks at him lovingly. “Yes you did…”
They had a moment of stares again. Dara places her hand on his chin, guiding his face to go closer to her face.
Their mouths parted open and was about to kiss again when 2NE1 and Super Junior has appeared on the deck to check on them.
“What happened?” CL asks in worry. Dara brings down her hand quickly and moves her head farther.
“Guys, it’s 9pm, how can you still go out and swim” Yesung scolded.
“Uhm…ahhh… Ani… Dara just slipped and fell over” Donghae tries to explain, he was stuttering and his eyes shifing all over the place, with Dara still wrapped in his arms.
“Heol~ How clumsy can you be?” Bom commented.
“Dara, get up here before you catch a cold” the fierce leader commanded. They both swam to the shore. The guys quickly wrapped towels over them. “We better go back to the cabin and dry you up quick”
“Excuse us for a while” Minzy says, still thinking about the dinner they’re having.
“I think it’s better if we call it a night. So you can all rest now” Leeteuk suggested. “We’ll just see you guys tomorrow”
CL agreed and signalled the girls to go.
But the two still has no plans to be separated. Not now. She just confessed to him, remember? Dara gazes shyly at Donghae with her heart still pounding loudly on her chest.
“You’ll still get to see him in the morning, noona. Don’t worry” Eunhyuk says, wrapping his arm over his dripping wet friend.
The two groups greeted each other goodnight.
“I’ll call you later” Donghae mouthed silently before she turns her back and walks away. Donghae brings a part of the towel to his lips, as her lips’ softness and warmth still lingers on it.
“I’m just wondering one thing, Hae” Leeteuk opens up, his hands crossed over his chest.
Donghae looks at him, and so were the others.
“Why are you naked?”
Oh crap indeed. He realizes. It’s with Dara… Fortunately the guys didn’t notice it.
“Don’t tell me you were talking with her like that!” Shindong says with a laughter. “Daebak!”
“A..Aniyo” Donghae’s face starts to blush and gets shy.
“Oh… why are you blushing?” Eunhyuk asks after noticing his face.
"Nothing!!!" He exclaims defensively.
He hurries on walking away from his members, with the excuse that he’s feeling cold and need to go on ahead.
"Is there something you're hiding from us????"
“Ya!!! Come back!! Hae!!!”