Donghae’s POV
“What!? He did what!?!?!”
“Donghae confessed in front of the YG guys!? Is that for real!?!?!”
“Whoaaa… ”
How quick it is for the news to reach the members. It’s just been roughly three hours since it happened and yet they already knew about it.
I can already hear them discussing it while I’m at the door and taking my shoes off. They seem to not hear the beeping unlock of the maindoor when I entered.
“To whom did you hear this from?”
“Bom noona”
“Is this why YG called him?”
“Daebak!”
“Where is he now?”
“Do you think he’s in trouble?” Sungmin says. “2NE1 once revealed about guys being tested first before able to date them”
“I bet Hae’s being tested now” Shindong says. “Seungri’s probably dancing for him again and they’ll see how long he can keep up”
Obviously that made them all laugh, aish these guys making fun of me behind my back huh.
If Kyuhyun didn’t see my presence, I’m pretty sure they would continue and have more assumptions along those lines.
“Ya, fishy! You sneaky brat. There you are! We thought you went home with the others to rest”
“Why didn’t you tell us about being called to the YG building?”
They were all sitting on the couches while I stood in front; some are still looking lazy and sleepy with all the pillows and stuff toys they’re hugging.
“We heard you faced the YG guys. What did they do to you?”
“Is it true you told them you love Dara noona?”
You can see in their faces their curiousty and how badly they want to know what happened, but I wasn’t really in a mood for conversation. I just want to head to my room and get some rest.
“Hey.. Hey… What’s wrong?” Eunhyuk came up to me and blocks my way. “Are you alright?”
I shook my head and told them I’m just feeling tired.
“But you met with Dara noona right?” Siwon says, telling me what Bom has informed him.
I nodded my head slightly. A bit unenthusiastic.
“Ya, you’ve been like this since morning, can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you guys fighting?” My bestfriend places his hand over my shoulders, he appears very concerned.
Well, all of them are.
I shook my head. Fight? us? Of course not, but it’s true that things are complicated now.
“Bom noona also asked me to watch carefully over you two” Siwon added. “She said something about things may start to be difficult right now, why? Did something happen?”
The guys continued to ask me and forced me to talk about it. Such caring words come out from my members that eventually made me say a part of what’s going on.
“I told Dara I love her…”
They all went silent. In shock, mostly. But their expressions… they were all bright and ready to cheer. To them this is good news, why won’t it be? Imagine all the time they told me to confess already and their ‘be a man and make a move’… and now I have done it.
“OH! SH*T!!!! Seriously!?”
“Right on!” fists are raised into the air, others were even clapping.
“Waaa… Our fishy is so manly!!”
Kangin approaches and gives me a bro hug. “I knew you can do it”
I can feel they were really proud.
“Wow… You confessed your love not only to YG boys but Dara… Damn~” Heechul says in quite disbelief, but satisfied. He must be relieved to know I learned something from our dispute last time.
“Now I can see why you look drained and exhausted!” Eunhyuk says. “You better go to your room then and rest”
“Ani… Wait wait… We should know what Dara said first”
Everyone else agrees.
I’m 200% sure of what these guys are expecting to hear. It’s either a big fat yes or an I love you too. But can’t they just tell from the expression I’m wearing?
I was undecided to tell them anything at first, but it’s a given that they won’t let me go if I don’t. No suspense was needed; I just laid it out to them. “She said no…”
The claps have stopped. The smiles have turned upside down. They looked at me as if what I said was the oddest thing in the world..
“NO!?!?!?!? Why????!!?!?!?!”
“What do you mean no? No, as in N O no????”
“How can that be? Are you sure you heard it right? It’s impossible…”
I knew they would have this reaction. But after telling them that, I proceeded to my room, unminding their endless queries of whys and how come. I can’t deal with those just yet, there’s something else I have to mind.
I went over to my bed and laid there with my arm resting on my forehead, thinking back to what has happened.
I’m not sure if it’s just my imagination but I think I heard glasses crashing after hearing what she said.
Did it come from my staffs outside? or an exaggerated sound of my whole world breaking into pieces? I thought.
No? She said no?
As much as I want to remain calm and keep my breathing in rhythm. I couldn’t. I’m too flabbergasted.
She buried and hides her face in her arms. And stayed there for quite a while…
I really don’t know what to do. What to say. My smile was slowly fading away. But I kept on staring at her, trying to figure out what she meant by that short response.
Suddenly in a low voice she starts to speak up again
“…I hate you…”
“…you bad Hae…”
She kept mumbling those words that it just puts me in confusion.
Does she mean those things? Does she really hate me?
My heart’s supposed to be feeling broken and in pain, but why do I feel at ease instead. I noticed her hands curling tightly and her shoulders stiffen. It got me a little worried, so I reached out my hand to her head and caressed her.
“Hey… are you okay?”
“What do you think? You’re making me confused…” she murmurs.
“Eh? Me? Shouldn’t I be the one who’s confused? It’s you who said no to my confession… it’s you who’s acting weird now…” I said with a few chuckles of disbelief as I sit back up straight to lean my back on the chair.
“Who told you to confess all of a sudden anyway~~~” She lifts her head up, showing her red flushed face to which got me frozen on my seat.
Am I just seeing things or is Dara really blushing?
She furrowed her eyebrows cutely and looks away. “Crazy Hae…”
From Bad Hae now to Crazy Hae… Is there anything else she would call me?
The pain that I once felt has been relieved. Well the only reason why it existed is because I thought she rejected me. This may not mean that she loves me too, but it’s a much better response than receiving a straight no. Atleast this still shows a slight chance hanging by.
I slid down my hand on the table and held her hand that’s rested on it. She even willingly opened her palm too and let our fingers interlaced. But still looking away.
“I’m sorry if I confessed at a wrong time …” I said. “But you saw it coming, didn’t you?”
She nodded and told me when she asked about the kiss, she already open her mind to the possibility that I would answer that. She didn’t think that I would really though. And it made me chuckle.
She then turns her head and looks at me eye-to-eye.
“But I can’t give you an answer yet…" she says apologetically. "I’m sorry… I’m still a bit confused…”
I understand her though. She’s for sure disarrayed with all the things.
Although I admit a part of me is frantic that she may only see me as a special friend in the end, a part of me still fears something would still involve GD, and a part of me believes it would take a really long while for her to sort out things.
Still I will not pressure her, I will give her time.
“It’s okay, if you’re not ready yet, then I respect that. I’ll wait… “ I also assured her that there won’t be any differences. I can still be her good friend.
“Thank you” she smiled sweetly as she places her hand on top of our intertwined hands.
The food finally came and had a feast. Goon, Ken and Dana joined us aswell, to which lead us to many storytelling and gossips. After that, we decided to call it a day for Dara still has packing to do.
I drove her to her apartment and volunteered to help her on the box of stuffs she got from the YG building.
“Where are you guys having a vacation again?” I asked after she locks on the back trunk of her car.
“Secret…” she smiled, walking side by side with me “But it’s a nice place”
“Psh we’re going to go a nice place too, you know. And I won’t tell you either” I said in a tease. "We're just waiting for Leeteuk, he's coming back the day after tomorrow"
"Wow that's great news! guess you guys are going to behave from now on" she jokes
"We're always behave, for your information"
We walked pass by number of cars, and I noticed how most of them are luxurious and expensive cars.
Suddenly she stopped on her trails. Staring blankly on one car ahead.
I was first curious why she stopped, but then she turns to me and tried taking the box out of my hands all of a sudden.
“Why?” I asked. Not letting her get it. “I’ll help you until we get upstairs”
“Nope this is okay. You should go”
“Is someone upstairs that you don’t want me to see?”
Her eyes widen and she forced a laugh. “Y…yes Durami and mom. I don’t want to complicate things for now please”
I laughed. Indeed, if they see us together they might get the idea right away.
She said thank you for the day and then I bid farewell. I even kissed her on her cheek before I fled.
It made her smile to which I'm glad seeing. But something feels not right.
I took a cab on the way home, and googled on what seems to be bothering me.
Back to reality.
I took my hand off my forehead and sat up straight on my bed. I reached for my phone from my pocket and googled it again.
And for the 3rd, 4th, 5th time checking, the same results appeared.
Yep. That car.
Definitely GD’s.
* * * *
Dara’s POV
I took the elevator ride up to my floor. I was feeling anxious as the number up on the elevator door rises.
When the door opened, I stepped out and glances to where my apartment room is. And yep there he was, waiting, sitting by my doorway, his knees up with both his arms resting on them and his head down.
Sigh… What is this now?
I silently placed the box down on the floor and searched for my keys straight without bothering on trying to waking him up or anything. Jiyong eventually heard the keys chiming together, and lifts his head up.
“Ahh… you’re home” he muttered as he stands, dusting up his shirt and jeans. “I’ve been waiting for hours”
“What are you doing here?” I even cared to ask while I unlock my door.
“Were you with Starks all this time?” He asks, checking the time on his watch. “What did you do?”
“We just ate out”
“Where?”
“In his restaurant, in Cheongchamdong…”
“Did you go there with your car?”
I don’t really know why we’re talking again, how come when we practically have been ignoring each other for days.
I don’t know why I’m answering all his questions as if I am oblidged to do so either.
I can guess why he’s here though, he was there when Donghae was interoggated. He was also there when I dragged Donghae out of the room. And it’s probably the reason why he’s being so inquisitive now.
And you know what happened last time when he saw me with Jaejoong, right?
“Look, if you’re going to pick on a fight with me. Can it please be some other time, I am not in the mood” I was about to shut the door on his face when he blocked it with his hand.
“I’m not here to fight or argue with you, I just came to ask you something”
I start to feel irritated. "What?"
“What is your relationship with him?”
“He’s my friend”
“Friend. Really?” his voice sounding in doubt and mockery. “Are you sure?”
“Ya, if you don’t want to believe it then fine. But I’m telling you we’re just frie---“
“I saw you two kissing at the park last night” he revealed and my eyes widen.
He...He saw us? Was he at the park too? Is that where he was all the while he was gone and missing?
“And I don’t think friends are supposedly be kissing like that”
“It’s not what it looks like”
“Then what is it?... ” Jiyong’s voice starts to raise. “What is it that you were even seconds away from kissing him back?”
In this situation we’re in now brought me back to how I was to him in regards to Kiko months ago. Jiyong was me when I saw them kissing, I know that whatever explain or excuse I may tell him now, he won’t believe any of it.
Even if Donghae and I are really just friends.
“I thought you’re not here to fight with me. What is this…”
“I’m not. Like I said I just want to ask you something” he intently stares at me. He relaxes a bit and his voice has calmed.
But it still feels troubling to me.
“Dara, tell me what is different with Donghae hyung?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just want to know, why with him you’re so open and proud to show him off”
I raised my eyebrows, trying to follow on what he was trying to say.
“Dara, you know the reason why we first broke up. It was because you weren’t ready to open the relationship in public…” He pointed. “But why is it now, all of a sudden, I see you going out with him so openly, dancing his group’s dance in front of thousands of people, holding hands with him in the concert backstage, kissing in an open park, going to his restaurant with your car … as if you don’t care of all the possible fans that may see you”
“If you’re okay on doing those things… then why weren’t you willing to do them with me before? Why?!”
From the incident of seeing me with Jaejoong, I expected he would have the same reaction this time. I thought he’s going to be mad and scold me endlessly… But that wasn’t the case. It was more deeper than that.
He’s hurt. I can feel it.
With his voice was shaking. His eyes watery.
And my heart aches to hear and see them.
This is one reason why I can’t give Donghae an answer yet.
Though I greatly admit I’m falling for him.
My heart still gets to feel wavered and confused when it comes to Jiyong. I may not love this person anymore, the way that I used to before. But to still feel these towards him is a bad sign. What if deep down inside me, I still unconsciously desires to be with him?
I can’t deny everything Jiyong has said. Apparently they are all true. Even I am uncertain why I can do all those things with Donghae without much worries.
Is it because I trust him more?
I do not know.
He takes out his hand from my door and sighs in frustration. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have barge into you like this… I’m sorry…”
He starts to walk away but I can’t bring myself on stopping him. My mouth was half open, but no words are coming out of it. I didn’t know what to say… But tears start to gather in my eyes.
I feel bad… Super bad…
Aiiii…. What is with today? Why do I have to deal with so much in one day? Both of them have confessed what they truly feel, but both in such wrong times.
I never have felt so confused in my life.
I cried harder as fears starts to crawl over me.
I don’t want to lose Donghae
And I don’t want to lose Jiyong completely either
But why is it so hard to choose between those two?
I should choose Donghae right? Because he loves me and I’m falling in love with him… But why do I feel so unsure?
I’m sorry Ji…
I’m sorry Hae…
With all of these happening… I can’t give you answers…
Give me time
Yes time… I know that’s what I needed. To get away, to think over things and sort out my feelings.
Then I will make a decision.
A few days after.
We arrived in Bali.