Lily closed the door to her suite and walked with unsteady steps to the king size bed. Slowly ,she eased herself down, mind still reeling from the events of the past 24 hours. The flight was a blur. She had ironically been on autopilot the whole time. Then the royal treatment, being chauffeured by a personal bodyguard...
The concert.
Her ears still felt like cotton was in them, the stadium was so deafening. It was overwhelming. Literally thousands of people were there screaming for them. For him. It was both amazing and terrifying, and she was actually thankful to have a bodyguard.
He sang to me. The lily that sat on his piano was for me.
Nan Neoreul Saranghe was for me. He secretly told 46,000 people...
Lily delicately removed the heels she wore, placing them gently back in their box. Just before she could remove her dress her phone pinged.
Jin: Can I come to see you?
6 words. His 6 words sent her mind into overdrive. The thought of him being there gave her heart so much hope, yet her mind was afraid. What would happen? What would be said? Would she regret it? Does this mean things are going to get better between them?
What do I even say?
She stared at the message, thumbs hovering over the keyboard as she chewed her bottom lip.
You have to respond. He knows you read the message.
Her breathing increased, her heart felt like it would burst from her chest. It was one thing to see him from several yards away in a situation where they couldn't speak directly to each other. It was quite another to be so close again. It had been so long.
Her fingers trembled as she typed her response.
______
Lily Angel: Yes.
Jin's chest heaved as he read her one word answer and he ran a shaky hand through his hair. He stared at the message as the realization hit him that they would be in the same space. He was actually going to see her again. A nervousness that he hadn't felt since they first met overcame him.
Nervousness wasn't a strong enough word. Fear was more accurate.
Fear of the unknown. What if she came just to support them as a group but really didn't want anything to do with him?
Yet despite his fear he wanted nothing more than to be in her presence again. Even if she ended up telling him that she never wanted to be with him, he finally had a chance to try. He sat up straight and typed another message.
Me: I can be there in 10 minutes if that's ok. Or whatever time is best for you.
Part of him wanted to run to her door immediately. He was only on a different floor of the hotel. The other part of him needed the time to collect himself and to give her time. He didn't want to rush her and end up chasing her away. All of this had to be on her time.
He jumped when his phone vibrated again.
Lily Angel: 15 minutes?
He texted back to confirm he would be there, then slumped back in his chair and started biting his thumb nail. He had been drenched earlier because of the performance but he had already showered and dried his hair. There was literally nothing he could do for the next, he looked at his phone screen again, 14 minutes.
What if she's stalling because she has to find a way to reject you?
The thought was an intrusive one. One that made him slightly nauseated. He took a steadying breath and did his best to push the thought aside. If that's what she wanted then he would have no choice but to accept it.
But he said a silent prayer that she didn't reject him, that she was willing to try again. He just needed a chance to make things right.
12 minutes left.
Jin stood up and walked out onto the balcony adjoining the bedroom. Resting his arms on the railing, he looked down on the busy streets below. Even though it was late there were people walking about, their animated banter barely audible. Where were they all headed? Were they happy?
"Do you know BTS?" He said into the night air, letting out a tired laugh afterwards.
Inside his stomach was in knots. What was he going to say?
"I'm sorry, and I was stupid," he said out loud, testing the confession out.
Grabbing the railing with both hands, he bent down to stretch his back. At least he wasn't as sore as he was when the tour started.
8 minutes left.
He stood up straight and closed his eyes. He inhaled the warm night air through his nose and exhaled through his mouth a few times. When he opened his eyes he felt mildly calmer.
Things will be ok. She flew all the way here, she came to the concert, she agreed to see me. She doesn't hate me, I think. We'll talk, and maybe, MAYBE, she'll find it in her heart to forgive.
5 minutes left.
Jin picked up his phone and headed toward the door, leaving his renewed sense of calm on the balcony. His moist palm gripped the door handle for a moment as he took another breath before opening it.
"Whoa!" Jin's scream echoed in the hallway. Jungkook was standing on the other side of the door with a stolen key card in his hand, poised to insert it into the card reader.
"Hi, hyung!" He smiled innocently, even though he was just caught about to break into the suite.
"Jungkookie, you're going to kill me like that." Jin whined. He quickly composed himself and started off down the hallway, then ran back and placed both hands on Jungkook's shoulders.
"Listen! Noona is here in this hotel in room 604. I'm going to see her."
"She is?! Wait, when will you be back? We have sound check in the morning!"
"I don't know. But I promise I won't miss sound check. If I'm not back when you get up in the morning come find me!"
"Yeah yeah! Go!" He said excitedly.
Jin all but ran to the elevator and checked his phone while waiting for the doors to open.
______
3 minutes left.
Lily put her phone back down on the bed and walked to the adjoining bathroom. Her once straight hair had gone wavy thanks to the humidity. She futilely ran her hand through it in an attempt to smooth it down, and settled on tucking one side behind her ear. These passing minutes had left her nerves in a wreck. She pressed her cold hands against her cheeks in an effort to calm the red tinge to them. He would be there any moment.
A knock sounded at the door and she whipped her head towards it. Her breathing instantly became shallow, her heartbeat quickened and thundered in her ears.
She cursed his punctuality. She wasn't ready. She would probably never be ready.
With slow steps she walked towards the door, suddenly hyper aware. The shuffling of the fabric of her dress as she walked, the plush carpeting under her feet, the prickling of her skin as goosebumps formed.
The cold metal of the door handle.
Lily held her breath as she opened the door.
_______
Reflection:
Mochii, why was this abandoned?:
Because I wasn't nearly as strong in my writing skills when I started this. My plotting was weak, my imagery needed work, and my creativity was still rusty. This was written way before 40 Weeks, and I think I exercised my brain and got it ready for writing again with this book.
But I dug myself into a ditch creatively by bouncing around and writing random scenes, and I couldn't pull it all together in my mind. I have since learned plotting strategies which has helped immensely.
Will this actually be a book now?
Probably not. Some of the elements I have recycled and used in other stories, so it may seem repetitive.
Jin deserves a whole library of books, and I want to make a full effort next time.